Search found 495 matches

by functionally_stupid
Fri Dec 16, 2011 4:42 pm UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out
Replies: 38049
Views: 2863467

Re: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

I should really take a shower.
by functionally_stupid
Mon Jul 26, 2010 7:26 pm UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Hifaleetin' thoughts
Replies: 90225
Views: 9378429

Re: Fleeting/Random/Thoughts (Random like the plague)

That can't be right! I eat peanut butter on a nigh-constant basis! I am the laziest vegan.

Wait, maybe the idea is to offer the peanut butter to Gog instead of recklessly scarfing it. :o YOU JUST BLEW MY MIND!
by functionally_stupid
Mon Jul 26, 2010 7:13 pm UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Hifaleetin' thoughts
Replies: 90225
Views: 9378429

Re: Fleeting/Random/Thoughts (Random like the plague)

Gog damn it, why don't I come to the fora more often? It's really quite baffling.
by functionally_stupid
Tue Dec 29, 2009 7:55 pm UTC
Forum: Individual XKCD Comic Threads
Topic: 0681: "Gravity Wells"
Replies: 205
Views: 57227

Re: "Gravity Wells" Discussion

I am here to jump on the "hee hee, Sirens of Titan!" bandwagon.

Hee hee! 'Sirens of Titan'!
by functionally_stupid
Fri Dec 25, 2009 8:57 pm UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.
Replies: 4973
Views: 761931

Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

lulzfish wrote:Maybe not a good idea, and women don't usually want machine guns and rocket launchers sprouting out of them anyway.


Yeah, seriously, laser cannons and diamond-edged saws are way preferable.
by functionally_stupid
Fri Dec 25, 2009 8:15 pm UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Hifaleetin' thoughts
Replies: 90225
Views: 9378429

Re: Fleeting/Random/Thoughts (Random like the plague)

Awaken my children, and embrace the glory that is your Christmas gift. Know that I am the Santa Claus, the eternal will of the Swarm. This year for Christmas, my mother disowned me. I've always hated the holidays, but this is just ridiculous. That is extremely terrible and I am sorry that your Chri...
by functionally_stupid
Fri Dec 25, 2009 7:15 pm UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Hype your ripe snipes 'n' gripes
Replies: 28619
Views: 3582648

Re: Rant Thread - The Spates of Wrath

I asked for weights . Ankle and wrist weights. You know. All those conversations we had about the one precise thing I wanted for Christmas, a full month in advance so you'd have time to find them and/or buy them. I would've been happy for more barbells, too, of the kind that are actually meaningfull...
by functionally_stupid
Fri Dec 25, 2009 7:11 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Hifaleetin' thoughts
Replies: 90225
Views: 9378429

Re: Fleeting/Random/Thoughts (Random like the plague)

I am so tired that my head is fuzzy and I am charmed by absolutely everything.

Wheeeee~!
by functionally_stupid
Fri Dec 18, 2009 4:18 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Hype your ripe snipes 'n' gripes
Replies: 28619
Views: 3582648

Re: Rant Thread - The Spates of Wrath

I am so sick of this shit.

I don't actually have a word for you, at the moment. There is nothing I can think of that is mean enough.
by functionally_stupid
Thu Dec 17, 2009 5:31 pm UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Omegle!
Replies: 701
Views: 132690

Re: Omegle!

I just made a young lady feel better by charming her socks off. :D

*clenches rose between teeth, casts smouldering glances*
by functionally_stupid
Thu Dec 17, 2009 10:15 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Terrifying Tales of Retail: BUY SELL BUY SELL BEEP BOOP
Replies: 344
Views: 47429

Re: Terrifying Tales of Retail: BUY SELL BUY SELL BEEP BOOP

I have a job in retail, now. Holiday help, woo. So far I have not encountered anyone I would perceive as obnoxious; however, this is probably due to the fact that I am extremely, extremely oblivious to other people being dicks to me. Like, people will go "I am *so sorry* about my friend, he was...
by functionally_stupid
Thu Dec 17, 2009 6:59 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Hifaleetin' thoughts
Replies: 90225
Views: 9378429

Re: Fleeting/Random/Thoughts (Random like the plague)

They probably meant "for your patronage". That is pretty lulzy.
by functionally_stupid
Thu Dec 17, 2009 6:32 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Got time to waste? Here's a really long post...
Replies: 8
Views: 1772

Re: Got time to waste? Here's a really long post...

Oh, hey, fanfic sporkage. Fun times.

Which reminds me, I was going to spork "Gamer Girl" in full.
by functionally_stupid
Thu Dec 17, 2009 5:53 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Hifaleetin' thoughts
Replies: 90225
Views: 9378429

Re: Fleeting/Random/Thoughts (Random like the plague)

She did compare my wang to Ozymandias. I thought that was a little backhanded, so I quoted Plath, and then she kicked me out of your house before I even got to the last line. Something about an unhealthy obsession with crazy female suicides.
by functionally_stupid
Thu Dec 17, 2009 5:34 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Hifaleetin' thoughts
Replies: 90225
Views: 9378429

Re: Fleeting/Random/Thoughts (Random like the plague)

Much like your mother! *adjusts monocle*

Just needed somewhere to scrawl down the line "find your own bell jar", really, thought I might as well slap together some half-assed context.
by functionally_stupid
Thu Dec 17, 2009 5:25 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Hifaleetin' thoughts
Replies: 90225
Views: 9378429

Re: Fleeting/Random/Thoughts (Random like the plague)

She takes a drag of her cigarette, casts me a glance like a pittance. Her lip curls, her eyes scorn.

"This one is mine," she says. She waves a hand at her concrete porch, her dirty feet, the gutter. "Find your own goddamn bell jar."
by functionally_stupid
Tue Dec 15, 2009 12:55 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out
Replies: 38049
Views: 2863467

Re: Confessional Bed - Not just for pillow talk!

Ocean wrote:I got to know a girl, and now I chat with her fairly often. She always trashes me down for some reason.

And I like it.


hawt

I like this job, but I hate some of my coworkers.
by functionally_stupid
Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:23 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: How do we destroy Gender?
Replies: 64
Views: 10884

Re: How do we destroy Gender?

GUYS, WHAT ABOUT MULTIGENDERED PEOPLE? /no such thing as bisexuals Pardon me, that was bitter. Personally, I would probably be happiest in a body with no genitalia or secondary sex characteristics. At times, I enjoy appearing female; at other times, I enjoy appearing male (or, rather, as close to ma...
by functionally_stupid
Fri Dec 11, 2009 6:23 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Hype your ripe snipes 'n' gripes
Replies: 28619
Views: 3582648

Re: Rant Thread - The Spates of Wrath

Others may disagree, but I seriously do not want to leave high school known as the guy with mythical junk. I mean, it was a bad joke made as a set up to a worse joke my Sophomore year. Why the hell has this thing stuck around so long? Oh, hey! Ha ha. Same, except with my boobs. The legend began at ...
by functionally_stupid
Thu Dec 10, 2009 5:41 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Hifaleetin' thoughts
Replies: 90225
Views: 9378429

Re: Fleeting/Random/Thoughts (Random like the plague)

I totally choked laughing at the "from weird places" thing. It's kay you guys, I have loads of blood. :D Er, I mean. Yeah, I'm still really healthy. Perky, energetic, full of vitamins and minerals - just a few more zits than usual. (I.e., any at all.) I'll definitely talk to a doctor if th...
by functionally_stupid
Wed Dec 09, 2009 6:26 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Gender Expectations and Shame
Replies: 74
Views: 9247

Re: Gender Expectations and Shame

I am five feet eleven inches, which makes it pretty easy to pass as a dude if I'm in a dudely mood. However, if I am in a ladyish state, I can get very insecure about my height, and I will stare with vitriolic envy at pictures of short girls and tall guys hugging. At times, I am extremely resentful....
by functionally_stupid
Wed Dec 09, 2009 5:52 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Hifaleetin' thoughts
Replies: 90225
Views: 9378429

Re: Fleeting/Random/Thoughts (Random like the plague)

It doesn't matter how many times it happens; my first thought is usually "aaaaugh I'm pissing blood!" (The second is "...Oh. Gross.") Also, have been really hungry a lot. Two rounds in one month and the second one seems to have mashed on to the regular one for December. Been blee...
by functionally_stupid
Sun Dec 06, 2009 4:46 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!
Replies: 8248
Views: 1496748

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

I've actually found that people's perceptions of my gender tend to reflect their own sexual orientation. Straight dudes think of me as definitely being female, straight women tend to think of me as male, lesbians tend to think of me as female, bisexual people tend to think of me as both, gay men thi...
by functionally_stupid
Fri Dec 04, 2009 3:56 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out
Replies: 38049
Views: 2863467

Re: Confessional Bed - Not just for pillow talk!

I discovered an achy, almond-sized lump on the side of my neck. I'm not _all_ that worried about it, I mean, it's probably nothing(although of course cancer and death and all that jazz is always somewhere in my mind when such things occur), but I just realized that I'm really aversive of telling an...
by functionally_stupid
Wed Dec 02, 2009 7:47 pm UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Hype your ripe snipes 'n' gripes
Replies: 28619
Views: 3582648

Re: Rant Thread - The Spates of Wrath

... I fantasize about having kids with my girlfriend. and getting married. I feel like a bad person now. YMMV. You've been going out for longer than a month, right? And you're at an age where that is a reasonable thing to fantasize about, right? People who want to have kids and get married are love...
by functionally_stupid
Wed Dec 02, 2009 9:18 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Hype your ripe snipes 'n' gripes
Replies: 28619
Views: 3582648

Re: Rant Thread - The Spates of Wrath

So my fucking ovaries decided that I should get a fucking bonus period, which fucked me right over since I have a shit ton of stuff to do and a very short fuse and the emotional and mental instability of "lol, surprise period!" Does. Not. Help. (Thank fucking god for the fora.) Spoiler'd f...
by functionally_stupid
Tue Nov 24, 2009 3:57 am UTC
Forum: Serious Business
Topic: "Damsel in Distress" and Sexism
Replies: 308
Views: 34661

Re: "Damsel in Distress" and Sexism

What I want to know is why it's so damned difficult for me to find anything that satisfies my need to see a small, delicately proportioned, weak and completely non-threatening young man with only his cleverness and his homemaking talents to aid him being rescued by a muscular, dashing, hairy and cad...
by functionally_stupid
Thu Nov 19, 2009 1:49 pm UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Nightmares
Replies: 9
Views: 1127

Re: Nightmares

I am trapped in a tiny wooden box on a long, terribly thin metal cable, traveling at high speeds through a roiling thunderstorm over a furious gunmetal sea. My heart is jumping. The sky is like a bruise on my eyes. Crows scream as I hurtle past them, a whole murder of them, and I am clutching at th...
by functionally_stupid
Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:33 pm UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Slacker aphorisms
Replies: 105
Views: 9350

Re: Slacker aphorisms

Love looks with the eyes. Unless you're visually impaired, in which case it looks with the hands and ears. Crying over spilt milk is probably a sign that you've got a lot of shit bottled up and you need an emotional release, maybe you should talk to a therapist or something. You can pick your friend...
by functionally_stupid
Sat Oct 31, 2009 4:24 pm UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Do the Republicans realize they're evil?
Replies: 83
Views: 7364

Re: Do the Republicans realize they're evil?

I believe the point of the second amendment - i.e., you, too, can have a gun - is to defend the citizens from the military. You know, so that they can't pull a coup. I am pro-guns for this and several other reasons (i.e., there are mountain lions and bears in my area who do, in fact, occasionally ki...
by functionally_stupid
Mon Oct 26, 2009 8:03 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: How do we know you have a face unless you post it?
Replies: 20910
Views: 3081848

Re: Postify your facerity

suffer-cait: Awww, thanks. I AM FLATTERED BY YOUR KIND REMARKS.

DJorgensen: Hmmm. Draco will be the "after" picture, but I guess the current bob is an "in between" picture, so I might as well document the process properly. I'll post 'em all together once it's done. :D
by functionally_stupid
Sun Oct 25, 2009 8:39 pm UTC
Forum: General
Topic: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!
Replies: 8248
Views: 1496748

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Wednesday: That suuuucks. On a lighter note: My binders arrived in the mail! I have been wearing them a LOT. Felt more like a lady today, though, so SPORTS BRAAAA. Being an attention-seeker, I have posted pics in the pics thread. Suffice to say that having the option to simply put my boobs away is A...
by functionally_stupid
Sun Oct 25, 2009 8:31 pm UTC
Forum: General
Topic: How do we know you have a face unless you post it?
Replies: 20910
Views: 3081848

Re: Postify your facerity

GAAAAAAAH KITTYYYY Cuuuute. *hypnotized* Ahem. Yes. My chest binders arrived in the mail! http://i530.photobucket.com/albums/dd347/venusian_eye/flaaaaat.jpg Flat like a ... er... well, pancakes aren't actually that flat, but it's a colloquialism. Also, no, I am not wearing any makeup. It'...
by functionally_stupid
Tue Oct 20, 2009 5:30 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out
Replies: 38049
Views: 2863467

Re: Confessional Bed - Not just for pillow talk!

Thanks, guys. Date went well. I have no idea what her initial reaction to the drawing was, though, because I was hiding my face in her shoulder. Ah, well. C'est la vie. Confession: I REALLY MISS SWIMMING EVERY DAY. I should go to the gym more often and swim until I can't move my arms or legs. And th...
by functionally_stupid
Mon Oct 19, 2009 6:22 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out
Replies: 38049
Views: 2863467

Re: Confessional Bed - Not just for pillow talk!

Confession: I just spent two hours drawing one of her favorite characters because we're going on a date to an art museum. Pencilling, inking, coloring in greyscale with markers... she'll probably like it. I'm fairly competent - enough that my friends make me draw shit for them, anyway. And this was...
by functionally_stupid
Tue Oct 13, 2009 6:04 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.
Replies: 27389
Views: 3535549

Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Hah, on the subject of armpit hair... At one point I wanted to have my hair and eyebrows be one color, and have each armpit be an additional different color, and then shave all of my visible body hair, so that when people noticed, they would have NO IDEA what my natural color was. Like, say, bleachi...
by functionally_stupid
Sun Oct 11, 2009 6:19 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: Hifaleetin' thoughts
Replies: 90225
Views: 9378429

Re: Fleeting/Random/Thoughts (Random like the plague)

That doesn't seem right. Burn it all! Alternatively, you could tell them to stop taking up an unfair amount of space. FT: I should not have drunk all of that soda. I should not have eaten all of that food. I should especially not have topped it off with an energy drink at midnight. On the plus side,...
by functionally_stupid
Wed Oct 07, 2009 6:57 pm UTC
Forum: General
Topic: High and low point of your day
Replies: 3315
Views: 255037

Re: High and low point of your day

High point: I am as much in love with her today as I was yesterday. I keep worrying my feelings will vanish the minute I stop paying attention to them. They haven't. Yaaaaay! Low point: Feel kind of shitty and sick, even though the cold is supposedly gone, and I will probably end up relying on caffe...
by functionally_stupid
Wed Oct 07, 2009 5:02 pm UTC
Forum: General
Topic: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!
Replies: 8248
Views: 1496748

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

*high-five! more specifically, one of those wacky high-fives where you miss each other's hands but then keep going until you hit them! because those are cool and difficult to pull off!*

Likeso:

_/\_

_X_

-=-

_ _
X

_ _
||
by functionally_stupid
Wed Oct 07, 2009 5:29 am UTC
Forum: General
Topic: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!
Replies: 8248
Views: 1496748

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

I just ordered two binders, one black, one white.

I am giddy as all heck.

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