Search found 1004 matches

by bug sniper
Wed Jul 11, 2018 3:33 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Vending machine!
Replies: 11042
Views: 830030

Re: Vending machine!

The vending machine jams.

I insert some grease to unjam it.
by bug sniper
Sat Jul 07, 2018 3:31 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Generic Game
Replies: 673
Views: 36978

Re: Generic Game

whatever the rules say not to post
by bug sniper
Thu Jul 05, 2018 9:36 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Vending machine!
Replies: 11042
Views: 830030

Re: Vending machine!

All the doors that have ever been inserted into the vending machine are eaten. You get wood crumbs.

I insert a ceiling.
by bug sniper
Mon Jul 02, 2018 7:15 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Vending machine!
Replies: 11042
Views: 830030

Re: Vending machine!

You get a pirate's dry wine.

In goes Dunkin' Donuts
by bug sniper
Sun Jul 01, 2018 6:43 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 25723
Views: 2020074

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted. You get a saint's terrible-tasting breakfast.

I wish I knew which sword to wield.
by bug sniper
Wed Jun 20, 2018 4:07 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 25723
Views: 2020074

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted. Instead of wasps, your garden now has several hundred scorpions wandering around to protect it from pests.

I wish for a trolly corruption.
by bug sniper
Mon Jun 11, 2018 1:58 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Good News, Bad News
Replies: 8749
Views: 775183

Re: Good News, Bad News

It's not completely bad news until now. A certain porn star is accusing you of using hush money to keep her silent about an affair.
by bug sniper
Wed May 30, 2018 4:09 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Good News, Bad News
Replies: 8749
Views: 775183

Re: Good News, Bad News

Bad news: You'll have to bring them into your country, which will be challenging due to the population's xenophobia.
by bug sniper
Tue May 29, 2018 7:16 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 25723
Views: 2020074

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Wish granted, congratulations. You no longer have to fear the ire of this genie. However, xe has been kidnapped and another malicious genie has come to take xir place.

I wish for fewer hurricanes and more tropical depressions.
by bug sniper
Tue May 29, 2018 7:05 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Vending machine!
Replies: 11042
Views: 830030

Re: Vending machine!

Out comes a cassette tape with a high-pitched recording of the balloon song.

In goes almost but not quite nothing (a food crumb).
by bug sniper
Sat May 26, 2018 8:39 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Vending machine!
Replies: 11042
Views: 830030

Re: Vending machine!

You get the femnist Mountain Dew

I insert a poke bowl.
by bug sniper
Thu May 17, 2018 1:23 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Vending machine!
Replies: 11042
Views: 830030

Re: Vending machine!

You get a wizardly assignment credit.

I insert the yellow flicky.
by bug sniper
Mon May 14, 2018 7:03 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Misquote-a-Wish!
Replies: 1026
Views: 240439

Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

marionic wrote:I wish people would wish to wish!


Ok. I wish to wish for a pizza.
by bug sniper
Wed May 09, 2018 2:47 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 25723
Views: 2020074

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

I wish for a tupperware containing whatever SirGabriel forgot to wish for.
by bug sniper
Tue May 01, 2018 1:44 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Ban the person above you
Replies: 20271
Views: 993166

Re: Ban the person above you

Banned for wearing wool today instead of feathers.
by bug sniper
Tue May 01, 2018 7:47 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 25723
Views: 2020074

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted. The world is now filled with robotic wireless horses. However, your stapler no longer fits the shape of your paper, or any batteries other than the correct one that you don't have.

I wish for an omnidimensional vending machine.
by bug sniper
Fri Mar 30, 2018 5:44 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Vending machine!
Replies: 11042
Views: 830030

Re: Vending machine!

You get a medal for possessing one of the rarest spoken languages.

I insert Stormy Daniels.
by bug sniper
Fri Mar 23, 2018 9:33 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Do not look at this chicken
Replies: 58
Views: 6148

Re: Do not look at this chicken

On the phone, I posted this reply before the image loaded on this page. Does that mean I won?
by bug sniper
Tue Mar 13, 2018 2:10 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 25723
Views: 2020074

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted, but they only accept mustard and you're all out of that, despite your acquisition of a surplus of ketchup.

I wish for a marsh mellow.
by bug sniper
Mon Feb 26, 2018 7:52 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 25723
Views: 2020074

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted, but it turns out that you're an illegal immigrant in your country. If you quit your job, you'll be deported from your home or new workplace, and taken to whatever poor country your DNA matches.

I wish Donald Trump was a shark on Shark Tank. What's the worst that could happen?
by bug sniper
Fri Feb 23, 2018 4:16 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 25723
Views: 2020074

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted but you're now a wanted couple and you get captured by the Royal Navy. You get a choice: you can get a life sentence to the brig or you can end your adventure in Davy Jones' locker. I wish the TV show "Shark Tank" would have it's name changed to "Dolphin Tank" or "Wh...
by bug sniper
Tue Feb 13, 2018 4:49 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Vending machine!
Replies: 11042
Views: 830030

Re: Vending machine!

You get an old but still-standing house.

I insert a negative amount of nothing.
by bug sniper
Thu Feb 08, 2018 4:14 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Good News, Bad News
Replies: 8749
Views: 775183

Re: Good News, Bad News

Good news: The next time you have money to invest, you will have learned from the experience.
by bug sniper
Tue Feb 06, 2018 3:14 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: *almost* the best superpower in the world
Replies: 703
Views: 83765

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Your job is at the U. S. Mint. You don't get to keep much of that money.

I can change how fast I perceive time whenever I want to.
by bug sniper
Mon Jan 29, 2018 8:42 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: *almost* the best superpower in the world
Replies: 703
Views: 83765

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Your skin still gets bruised and bludgeoned and your bones still break from the force.

I can walk through walls at my discretion.
by bug sniper
Sun Jan 14, 2018 6:28 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 25723
Views: 2020074

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted, but then a brick falls on your head and you forget everything you've learned about forum layouts and styles.

I wish for a cup of coffee mixed with hot chocolate, with whipped cream on top and an aroma of cinnamon all over.
by bug sniper
Fri Jan 05, 2018 7:36 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Vending machine!
Replies: 11042
Views: 830030

Re: Vending machine!

You get a piece of fish covered in too many herbs. It's more herb than fish.

I flick flicky into the machine.
by bug sniper
Mon Jan 01, 2018 9:21 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 25723
Views: 2020074

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted but every time you think of a good plan, a trio of meddling kids comes to save they day by unleashing their pokemon. They always hit you with whatever combination burst of fire, water, lightning, and/or wind makes you blast off the most spectacularly. Giovanni is angry with your constant fai...
by bug sniper
Thu Dec 21, 2017 9:01 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Escape from Raptors
Replies: 2302
Views: 271324

Re: Escape from Raptors

You left your data in a public S3 bucket. The humans find it, discover your identity, and lock you up.

I replace their coffee with decaf, making them too tired to eat anyone.
by bug sniper
Sat Dec 16, 2017 1:12 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Vending machine!
Replies: 11042
Views: 830030

Re: Vending machine!

You get another USB drive with 50 megabytes available to you. You can store up to 23 additional gigabytes on it, depending on what additional fee you want to pay. I insert Ajit Pai and the pile of shit he is. Heaven forbid, but I hope xkcd doesn't go out of business when netizens don't pay a predict...
by bug sniper
Sun Dec 03, 2017 11:14 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 25723
Views: 2020074

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted, but the next update will require you to register. The registration process involves sending your address to the communist government so that they know who's responsible if Taiwan becomes its own country.

I wish for the release of Starcraft 3.
by bug sniper
Thu Nov 30, 2017 9:45 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Vending machine!
Replies: 11042
Views: 830030

Re: Vending machine!

You get the message "One row affected".

INSERT INTO vending_machine(id, object) VALUES (1, NULL);
by bug sniper
Mon Nov 27, 2017 8:50 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Vending machine!
Replies: 11042
Views: 830030

Re: Vending machine!

You get a negative amount of money after the credit cards inside are charged.

I insert a credit card with a negative amount of money on it.
by bug sniper
Mon Nov 27, 2017 12:58 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Vending machine!
Replies: 11042
Views: 830030

Re: Vending machine!

You get a member of their crew, in a little squeaky voice, telling you that they come in peace and accidentally went through a shrinkhole anomaly.

I insert a enlarger ray so they can bring themselves back to normal size.
by bug sniper
Thu Nov 23, 2017 9:00 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Vending machine!
Replies: 11042
Views: 830030

Re: Vending machine!

You get a story that incorporates your character as a Mary Sue. It's predictably unpleasant to read.

I insert a large but finite amount of turkey.
by bug sniper
Thu Nov 23, 2017 9:14 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Vending machine!
Replies: 11042
Views: 830030

Re: Vending machine!

You get a well-preserved snack, because that's what you're supposed to get when you insert money into a vending machine.

I insert a coupon for a bag of peanut butter-filled pretzels.
by bug sniper
Mon Nov 20, 2017 5:04 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Vending machine!
Replies: 11042
Views: 830030

Re: Vending machine!

You get -2 points to your alignment record for cowardly using a vending machine to fight a samurai instead of your own sword.

I insert whatever you want me to insert.
by bug sniper
Wed Nov 15, 2017 4:32 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Corrupt-a-wish
Replies: 25723
Views: 2020074

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Granted but only 2 people remember, which do not include me.
by bug sniper
Mon Nov 13, 2017 7:00 am UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Vending machine!
Replies: 11042
Views: 830030

Re: Vending machine!

You get a repaired calendar.

I insert the dreaded gazebo.
by bug sniper
Wed Nov 01, 2017 3:02 pm UTC
Forum: Forum Games
Topic: Vending machine!
Replies: 11042
Views: 830030

Re: Vending machine!

You get half your die taken away like in Trump's demonstration of why socialism is bad. Afterwards, you get a 90% drop in the amount of dice manufacture byproducts in the United States atmosphere, which continue to poison the people of China.

I insert $500 and a deposit slip.

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