*almost* the best superpower in the world

For all your silly time-killing forum games.

Moderators: jestingrabbit, Moderators General, Prelates

User avatar
ArDeeJ
Bastet Case
Posts: 126
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2012 2:20 pm UTC
Location: Finland

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby ArDeeJ » Wed May 08, 2013 7:03 pm UTC

...and now you're not. Oh, the fickleness of the stock market.

I can accurately predict the global stock market.
puzzles (bad) | tweets (worse) | they pronouns

User avatar
Dr. Diaphanous
Posts: 252
Joined: Sun Jan 24, 2010 9:38 pm UTC
Location: UK

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Dr. Diaphanous » Wed May 08, 2013 7:07 pm UTC

You can't tell which of your friends are just interested in your money (hint: it's all of them)

I can tell which friends are genuine using mind powers
"God works in mysterious and breathtakingly cruel ways."

User avatar
Vytron
Posts: 432
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:11 am UTC
Location: The Outside. I use She/He/Her/His/Him as gender neutral pronouns :P

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Vytron » Wed May 08, 2013 8:17 pm UTC

You find none of your friends are genuine (and, unless you deem that as undesirable, it seems you're the first one in the thread to get a power that works, so, if that's not in the spirit of the game, I'll add: you are also unable to find any genuine friend.)

I have the power of getting free delicious pizza whenever I want.
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
Cheers Marsh'n!

Your ad here. No, seriously! It's free! PM me if interested.
THANKS KARHELL!! :)

User avatar
Frimble
Posts: 480
Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2008 6:57 pm UTC
Location: UK

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Frimble » Wed May 08, 2013 8:48 pm UTC

Granted, but only you can eat it and you are lactose intolerant and have celiac disease so eating it makes you ill.

I have the ability to change any coefficient of friction during sporting events (I'm surprised we havn't had this one yet)
"Absolute precision buys the freedom to dream meaningfully." - Donal O' Shea: The Poincaré Conjecture.
"We need a reality check here. Roll a D20." - Algernon the Radish
"Should I marry W? Not unless she tells me what the other letters in her name are" Woody Allen.

User avatar
Nylonathatep
NOT Nyarlathotep
Posts: 720
Joined: Tue Dec 20, 2011 3:06 am UTC

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Nylonathatep » Wed May 08, 2013 9:06 pm UTC

Frimble wrote:I have the ability to change any coefficient of friction during sporting events (I'm surprised we havn't had this one yet)


Only in the follow sports: Cooper's Hill Cheese-Rolling and Wake, Wife Carrying, Cardboard Dueling, and Chess Boxing

I have Intuitive Aptitude.

User avatar
Vytron
Posts: 432
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:11 am UTC
Location: The Outside. I use She/He/Her/His/Him as gender neutral pronouns :P

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Vytron » Wed May 08, 2013 9:19 pm UTC

While understanding the structure and operation of complex systems is now a piece of cake, as you keep using the power you start becoming more and more inept at understanding simple systems. At the start, you're not very worried about being incapable of tying your shoelaces. But then, you have problems understanding the operation of clothes, being unable to dress, and then it gets difficult to eat because operating a spoon gets very hard. I don't need to continue telling where this goes...

I can simulate very accurate possible outcomes of future acts, and act accordingly to reach the optimal outcome.
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
Cheers Marsh'n!

Your ad here. No, seriously! It's free! PM me if interested.
THANKS KARHELL!! :)

User avatar
Frimble
Posts: 480
Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2008 6:57 pm UTC
Location: UK

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Frimble » Wed May 08, 2013 9:57 pm UTC

But due to the butterfly effect the use of your power results in terrible tragedies in otherwise unconnected parts of your life.

I can perfectly reproduce any sound I hear.
"Absolute precision buys the freedom to dream meaningfully." - Donal O' Shea: The Poincaré Conjecture.
"We need a reality check here. Roll a D20." - Algernon the Radish
"Should I marry W? Not unless she tells me what the other letters in her name are" Woody Allen.

User avatar
Dr. Diaphanous
Posts: 252
Joined: Sun Jan 24, 2010 9:38 pm UTC
Location: UK

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Dr. Diaphanous » Fri May 10, 2013 2:24 am UTC

You fall in love with a beautiful young man, but he is only interested in himself. Every time he speaks, you reproduce the sound. So enthralled is he with the sound of his own voice that he talks at you for days until he starves and dies. Filled with grief, you waste away, and became a recluse, living in caves. Now whenever someone shouts into a cave, you call back with the same sound.

I have a complete and inerrant knowledge of everything that ever was, everything that now is, and everything that can ever come to pass.
"God works in mysterious and breathtakingly cruel ways."

User avatar
dudiobugtron
Posts: 1098
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:14 am UTC
Location: The Outlier

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby dudiobugtron » Fri May 10, 2013 2:36 am UTC

Unfortunately, this means you know every detail about Indiana Jones and The Crystal Skull. Unable to withstand the pain, you die.
Spoiler:
Kinda like what happens at the end of said movie. Except, in your case, you just killed yourself because it's a really bad movie.


I have the power to control nearby electronic devices.
Image

User avatar
Dr. Diaphanous
Posts: 252
Joined: Sun Jan 24, 2010 9:38 pm UTC
Location: UK

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Dr. Diaphanous » Fri May 10, 2013 5:34 am UTC

Nearby electronic devices can control you.
You have 4chan open on your computer.


I have the power to kill a yak from 200 yards away with mind bullets.
"God works in mysterious and breathtakingly cruel ways."

User avatar
marionic
Posts: 8
Joined: Sat Sep 22, 2012 10:03 am UTC
Location: England, UK, Earth

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby marionic » Fri May 10, 2013 6:18 am UTC

OK. You must be exactly 200 yards away from a yak, no more, no less, or the bullets come straight back at your brain.

I have the power to not see or hear spoilers that I wouldn't want to find out.
Image

User avatar
dudiobugtron
Posts: 1098
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:14 am UTC
Location: The Outlier

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby dudiobugtron » Fri May 10, 2013 6:45 am UTC

marionic wrote:I have the power to not see or hear spoilers that I wouldn't want to find out.

Spoiler:
Except you're always too curious to actually use that power until it's to late.


I have the power to read and understand the full Terms and Conditions of anything I purchase in under 10 seconds.
Image

User avatar
marionic
Posts: 8
Joined: Sat Sep 22, 2012 10:03 am UTC
Location: England, UK, Earth

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby marionic » Fri May 10, 2013 7:38 am UTC

Sure thing. If you purchase something in less than 10 seconds from now, you have the power to read and understand the full Terms and Conditions for the thing you are purchasing. Still impressive, but you might not have time to use it.

I have the power to convert any type of energy into any other type of energy whenever I please. (But not changing the amount of energy!)
Image

User avatar
Nylonathatep
NOT Nyarlathotep
Posts: 720
Joined: Tue Dec 20, 2011 3:06 am UTC

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Nylonathatep » Fri May 10, 2013 7:35 pm UTC

marionic wrote:I have the power to convert any type of energy into any other type of energy whenever I please. (But not changing the amount of energy!)


What's so impressive about that?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laws_of_thermodynamics

First law of thermodynamics: Heat and work are forms of energy transfer. Energy is invariably conserved, however the internal energy of a closed system may change as heat is transferred into or out of the system or work is done on or by the system. In real systems work does not always leave the system. For example, changes in molecular energy (potential energy), are generally considered to remain within the system. Similarly, the rotational and vibrational energies of polyatomic molecules remain within the system.
From the above, all the energy associated with a system must be accounted for as heat, work, chemical energy etc., thus perpetual motion machines of the first kind, which would do work without using the energy resources of a system, are impossible.


You can certainly convert any types of energy to another other types of energy with no net loss of energy, except most of the energy is converted into heat. :) If you want to convert heat into energy, you are just a stream engine :)



I wish I have the power to kill this thread :)

User avatar
Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon May 13, 2013 4:44 pm UTC

you already have that power, but you find this thread enthralling, so you are completely incapable of killing it.

i have the power to summon an army of 50,000 orcs.
Image

User avatar
Vytron
Posts: 432
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:11 am UTC
Location: The Outside. I use She/He/Her/His/Him as gender neutral pronouns :P

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Vytron » Mon May 13, 2013 5:14 pm UTC

You can just summon them, but after they appear, they don't obey you, and the first thing they do is killing you.

I have the power to be invulnerable to this thread, so that my next power posted will be the best superpower in the world.
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
Cheers Marsh'n!

Your ad here. No, seriously! It's free! PM me if interested.
THANKS KARHELL!! :)

User avatar
Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Tomlidich the second » Tue May 14, 2013 12:22 am UTC

but it only works in 5 second intervals every 5 years. starting now. im sorry, your time is up.

i can control anything made of plastic.
Image

User avatar
snowyowl
Posts: 464
Joined: Tue Jun 23, 2009 7:36 pm UTC

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby snowyowl » Tue May 14, 2013 2:37 pm UTC

Batteries not included. You can only control plastic things that are already electrically powered.

Whenever someone attempts to demonstrate a computer problem to me, I can make the problem vanish before they finish explaining it.
The preceding comment is an automated response.

User avatar
dudiobugtron
Posts: 1098
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:14 am UTC
Location: The Outlier

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby dudiobugtron » Tue May 14, 2013 8:32 pm UTC

In order to use this power, however, you also need to be overloaded with different projects, misunderstood by your clients who act like they're superior to you, and have to listen to hundreds of complaints about varying problems that are all described as "my computer isn't working properly". (Even the ones who want you to code something for them will describe it like that...)

I have the power to change reality so that it better coincides with my understanding of it.
Image

User avatar
Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Tomlidich the second » Tue May 14, 2013 10:24 pm UTC

unfortunately you break many laws of physics in doing this, and have doomed us all, yourself included.

i have the power of exact change. anytime i go to pay for something, i have the exact amount of money to buy it within my pocket.
Image

User avatar
snowyowl
Posts: 464
Joined: Tue Jun 23, 2009 7:36 pm UTC

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby snowyowl » Wed May 15, 2013 7:06 am UTC

In 1-penny coins.

I can make people laugh at will.
The preceding comment is an automated response.

User avatar
Vytron
Posts: 432
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:11 am UTC
Location: The Outside. I use She/He/Her/His/Him as gender neutral pronouns :P

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Vytron » Wed May 15, 2013 7:32 am UTC

But they can't stop laughing and always die from the laughter (again, if THAT was the point of your power, well done!)

I can enter in the middle of flame wars and convince both parties to arrange a compromise.
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
Cheers Marsh'n!

Your ad here. No, seriously! It's free! PM me if interested.
THANKS KARHELL!! :)

User avatar
Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Tomlidich the second » Wed May 15, 2013 4:30 pm UTC

but only in the anarchist forums, when deciding which explosives to use, which schools to blow up, etc.

i can fix any technology with the power of my mind
Image

User avatar
marionic
Posts: 8
Joined: Sat Sep 22, 2012 10:03 am UTC
Location: England, UK, Earth

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby marionic » Wed May 15, 2013 5:45 pm UTC

Yes, by studying how to fix it then using your mind to control your body parts, you can fix anything!

I can make anyone fall in love with me.
Image

User avatar
snowyowl
Posts: 464
Joined: Tue Jun 23, 2009 7:36 pm UTC

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby snowyowl » Wed May 15, 2013 8:52 pm UTC

But in doing so, you lose an equal amount of your own love for them.

Faster-than-light travel!
The preceding comment is an automated response.

User avatar
bug sniper
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:29 am UTC

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby bug sniper » Wed May 15, 2013 9:37 pm UTC

Let x be your speed and let r=x/c where c is the speed of light. Every destination you will ever visit in the future will travel forward in time at a rate or r seconds/second while you are moving faster than the speed of light. In addition, you don't avoid temporarily turning into light from everyone else's perspectives.

I have the power to unlock any door in existence.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

User avatar
dudiobugtron
Posts: 1098
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:14 am UTC
Location: The Outlier

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby dudiobugtron » Wed May 15, 2013 9:47 pm UTC

By inserting a particular body-part.

I can make marionic fall in love with anyone.
Image

User avatar
marionic
Posts: 8
Joined: Sat Sep 22, 2012 10:03 am UTC
Location: England, UK, Earth

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby marionic » Thu May 16, 2013 6:25 am UTC

You can using a special bow and arrow, but when you notice me trying to make someone fall in love with me, you try to aim the arrow at them to make me fall in love with them, but I stop you because my plan was to get people to fall in love with me so they help me form an army, meaning snowyowl did nothing to prevent my power being useless. I also make you fall in love with me and destroy your bow and arrow so you can never use the power against me.

I can make people eat each other.
Image

User avatar
snowyowl
Posts: 464
Joined: Tue Jun 23, 2009 7:36 pm UTC

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby snowyowl » Thu May 16, 2013 3:38 pm UTC

snowyowl did nothing to prevent my power being useless.


On the contrary. You hate every individual in your army as much as they love you, so you'd not be very happy issuing any orders to them. You fight back this sensation at first, but it becomes apparent that one-sided, magically-enforced infatuation with someone you almost never see in person is no basis for a stable relationship. So their love for you decays over time, and you have to keep spending your own love in order to top them up.

Eventually, you retreat inwards, horrified at what you've created and who you've become. Your army falls into disarray and is soundly defeated. A strike force breaks into your bunker to take you prisoner and make you stand trial for your crimes; they find you almost catatonic, surrounded by starstruck slaves who want nothing more than to help you and don't understand why you flee from them in every waking moment. You don't want to live any more, but they won't let you die. You practically beg to be captured and taken away.

----

Oh yeah, your power was the eating people thing. Uh... you can make people bite each other's fingernails. Slightly kinky if you're into that sort of thing.

I can make any object taste delicious.
The preceding comment is an automated response.

User avatar
Dr. Diaphanous
Posts: 252
Joined: Sun Jan 24, 2010 9:38 pm UTC
Location: UK

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Dr. Diaphanous » Thu May 16, 2013 6:32 pm UTC

You can't resist trying to eat everything in sight and before long you choke to death on an unopened tube of toothpaste.

OK, the gloves are coming off!
Stolen from The open-source wish project:

"I ... live in the locations of my choice, in a physically healthy, uninjured, and apparently normal version of my current body containing my current mental state, a body which will heal from all injuries at a rate three sigmas faster than the average given the medical technology available to me, and which will be protected from any diseases, injuries or illnesses causing disability, pain, or degraded functionality or any sense, organ, or bodily function for more than ten days consecutively or fifteen days in any year; at any time I may rejuvenate my body to a younger age, by saying a phrase matching this pattern five times without interruption, and with conscious intent: 'I wish to be age,’ followed by a number between one and two hundred, followed by ‘years old,’ at which point the pattern ends - after saying a phrase matching that pattern, my body will revert to an age matching the number of years I started and I will commence to age normally from that stage, with all of my memories intact; at any time I may die, by saying five times without interruption, and with conscious intent, 'I wish to be dead’; the terms 'year' and 'day' in this wish shall be interpreted as the ISO standard definitions of the Earth year and day as of 2006."
"God works in mysterious and breathtakingly cruel ways."

User avatar
orangedragonfire
Posts: 13
Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2011 3:45 am UTC
Location: It exists. Probably.

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby orangedragonfire » Thu May 16, 2013 6:41 pm UTC

... yeah, "current mental state" implies that your mind is perpetually frozen. You can't form new thoughts, react to new input, or do anything. Including using the phrases that would change this. On the bright side, you don't notice this problem, for the same reason.

I can make a rock so heavy that even I cannot lift it.

User avatar
Dr. Diaphanous
Posts: 252
Joined: Sun Jan 24, 2010 9:38 pm UTC
Location: UK

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Dr. Diaphanous » Thu May 16, 2013 10:56 pm UTC

The Rock
A play in two parts

Scene: ODF's garden
Simplicio: Wow, did that guy just make a rock?
Interlocutor:He's trying to lift it!
S: Can he do that? It looks pretty big.
ODF: hnnnnnnnnnnn My power!It works! bwa hahahahaa!
I: He can't!

-two years later-
ODF: I hate this rock.

I have a badly burnt face. Also, I can fly.
"God works in mysterious and breathtakingly cruel ways."

User avatar
Vytron
Posts: 432
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:11 am UTC
Location: The Outside. I use She/He/Her/His/Him as gender neutral pronouns :P

Re:

Postby Vytron » Thu May 16, 2013 11:02 pm UTC

You can fly! But you also have a badly burnt face. *Almost* the best superpower in the world already! What am I supposed to do?

Oh, I know. You can only fly for one second and need to recharge for 30 years before being able to fly again!

I can turn any part of my body into a robotic part, and back.
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
Cheers Marsh'n!

Your ad here. No, seriously! It's free! PM me if interested.
THANKS KARHELL!! :)

User avatar
Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Tomlidich the second » Thu May 16, 2013 11:57 pm UTC

however, the transition is extremely painful, with an almost certain chance of mutation in going back to human, or file corruption in the case of truning into a robot.

i can cook as well as any gourmet chef in the world.
Image

User avatar
orangedragonfire
Posts: 13
Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2011 3:45 am UTC
Location: It exists. Probably.

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby orangedragonfire » Fri May 17, 2013 12:11 am UTC

Or, rather, it's the other way around. All gourmet chefs can cook as well as you, which also implies that you can cook as well as them.

I can sway the opinion of any number of people on any subject I choose.

User avatar
marionic
Posts: 8
Joined: Sat Sep 22, 2012 10:03 am UTC
Location: England, UK, Earth

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby marionic » Fri May 17, 2013 8:32 am UTC

Any number of people, but you don't get to choose which people. You manage to sway your own opinion on using this power so you've convinced yourself that you should never use it again.

I get the next job I apply for.
Image

Pingouin7
Posts: 91
Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2011 4:50 pm UTC
Location: ~/

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Pingouin7 » Fri May 17, 2013 5:12 pm UTC

That next job happens to be "trying to find more jobs"

I can make the exact same sound as any musical instrument using only my voice.
Dason wrote:
Kewangji wrote:I confess I am actually scared of peanuts, and tend to avoid them, given how lethal they are to some people.

I'm not. I do my part in the fight against peanuts by destroying them with my powerful teeth. Take that peanut! How does being digested feel!?

User avatar
marionic
Posts: 8
Joined: Sat Sep 22, 2012 10:03 am UTC
Location: England, UK, Earth

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby marionic » Sat May 18, 2013 7:03 am UTC

People are impressed at first, but then just assume you've just downloaded the instrument noises onto your phone. If you try to convince them it's a superpower, they think you're crazy.

I can take people's superpowers without a limit to how many I can have.
Image

User avatar
Vytron
Posts: 432
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:11 am UTC
Location: The Outside. I use She/He/Her/His/Him as gender neutral pronouns :P

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Vytron » Sat May 18, 2013 7:08 am UTC

But you live in a world in where you're the only person with super powers, so, you never find someone to take superpowers from.

I can make anyone to make me delicious sandwiches by sudo telling them to do it.
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
Cheers Marsh'n!

Your ad here. No, seriously! It's free! PM me if interested.
THANKS KARHELL!! :)

User avatar
marionic
Posts: 8
Joined: Sat Sep 22, 2012 10:03 am UTC
Location: England, UK, Earth

Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby marionic » Sat May 18, 2013 7:20 am UTC

You can make anyone to make you delicious sandwiches. You can make people, and those people will make you sandwiches. But you have to use the program sudo to tell them to do it. I'm sure it would be a much better power if you didn't need a program just to tell people to make you a sandwich.

I can make anyone make me delicious sandwiches by pseudo telling them to do it.
Image


Return to “Forum Games”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 55 guests