*almost* the best superpower in the world

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Meowers
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Meowers » Thu Jan 11, 2018 6:32 pm UTC

Peanuts are redirected to your bladder. That sounds painful.

I can create cheese!

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Pfhorrest » Thu Jan 11, 2018 6:34 pm UTC

But you suffer all the other ill health effects of such a diet, besides the bowels.

I can open portals to any possible world.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Meowers » Thu Jan 11, 2018 7:52 pm UTC

Unfortunately, the only possible worlds are the normal one and the one where you noticed my post.

I can create more cheese!

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby eran_rathan » Thu Jan 11, 2018 7:53 pm UTC

but you can't close them.

EDIT: UGH, ninja'd.

All the cheese is Roquefort.



I am the smartest person in the world.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Sableagle » Thu Jan 11, 2018 8:30 pm UTC

... for really rather lonely definitions of "the world."

I know what dogs think of other people.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Pfhorrest » Thu Jan 11, 2018 9:24 pm UTC

eran_rathan wrote:
Meowers wrote:I can create more cheese!
All the cheese is Roquefort.

That's hardly a downside, that almost makes it better.
Forrest Cameranesi, Geek of All Trades
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby eran_rathan » Thu Jan 11, 2018 9:27 pm UTC

Pfhorrest wrote:
eran_rathan wrote:
Meowers wrote:I can create more cheese!
All the cheese is Roquefort.

That's hardly a downside, that almost makes it better.


Imagine only being allowed to have a single kind of anything, when you know there are lost of different kinds available. Like you have all the red single post Legos you could ever want, but no other pieces.
"We have met the enemy, and we are they. Them? We is it. Whatever."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Ginger » Wed Jan 17, 2018 1:30 pm UTC

eran_rathan wrote:but you can't close them.

EDIT: UGH, ninja'd.

All the cheese is Roquefort.



I am the smartest person in the world.

Your knowledges forever and ever restrain you from ever dating girls b/c u too smart for ALL OF THEM ha-ha--I mean sorries sorries. </3

I wish I could use my charm as a superpower in the business world to make metric tons of monies, become a top female executive of real estate and then run for Prez and beat Trump and Oprah in the elections and then stop ALL crime in the worlds with my charming superpowered self... kinda like a version of Bat Woman. That I made up not in the comics to be clear.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby phillip1882 » Thu Jan 25, 2018 2:54 pm UTC

granted. be ready to be asked out by every guy you meet.

i sleep only 4 hours a night.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby eran_rathan » Thu Jan 25, 2018 2:57 pm UTC

because you're woken every morning at 2:18 AM by your neighbor's cat setting off his car alarm and you can't go back to sleep.

I am not allergic to anything. Stupid allergies.
"We have met the enemy, and we are they. Them? We is it. Whatever."
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Sableagle » Thu Jan 25, 2018 4:36 pm UTC

You're not immune to anything either. Stupid immunodeficiency virus.

I can locate any missing person immediately.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Ginger » Thu Jan 25, 2018 6:44 pm UTC

You can only locate them and then they wander off again becoming lost, leading you to locate them again, and it becomes a never-ending game of cats and mice re: locating the missing persons.

I wish I had perfect knowledge of all countries' cultures and etiquette practices and laws. <3
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby eran_rathan » Thu Jan 25, 2018 7:34 pm UTC

but you're paralyzed in fear of breaking any of those laws, regardless of where you are.

I can drink as much coffee as I want.
"We have met the enemy, and we are they. Them? We is it. Whatever."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby phillip1882 » Fri Jan 26, 2018 8:35 pm UTC

you can, but drinking coffee makes you hyper.

i can eat lightning and crap thunder.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Ginger » Sat Jan 27, 2018 9:59 am UTC

You electrocute your mouth and interrupt your bowels every day now. But technically you can eat them w/o dying just: You get muscles spasms from the lightning, and burns, and you can't go to the bathroom right b/c of the troubles w/thunders when you... do number two. Sorry. </3

I wish I was top female student at maths and sciences rather than writings and the arts.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Sableagle » Sun Jan 28, 2018 12:27 pm UTC

You're the only female student in the maths and science departments, and your non-study time is filled with slogans, interviews, photographers, wannabe-kiss-and-tell idiots, harassment, threats, libel, slander, vandalism and all the usual crap from the bloody damn cis het white male Daily Heil mob who hate you for upsetting their precious status quo, the terf mob who hate you on lack of principle and the media wanting to use you to make themselves look cool.

I can cause Sudden Infant Death Syndrome retroactively.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Ginger » Sun Jan 28, 2018 12:55 pm UTC

Your Sudden Infant Death Syndrome can trigger retroactively, yet you can't control it and: Everyone you know and love, care for or value is killed as babies retroactively.

I wish my makeups could make me look like any woman and my perfumes could fool animals into not attacking me/licking me/jumping on me.... Looking at U: Princess Queenie Doggy? </3
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby heuristically_alone » Sun Jan 28, 2018 10:45 pm UTC

But only hamsters are attracted to you physically, even when you're not disguised.

I wish I could summon chewing gum magically into my mouth at any moment.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby SirGabriel » Mon Jan 29, 2018 12:35 am UTC

But you can only summon it from the mouths of other people.

My muscles never get tired.

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby bug sniper » Mon Jan 29, 2018 8:42 am UTC

Your skin still gets bruised and bludgeoned and your bones still break from the force.

I can walk through walls at my discretion.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Ginger » Tue Jan 30, 2018 5:29 am UTC

Yet you sometimes get stuck in them.

I don't need to eat, drink or sleep. Ever. And it doesn't deteriorate my physical health.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby phillip1882 » Tue Jan 30, 2018 2:23 pm UTC

your basically a guru, so everyone comes to you seeking enlightenment.

i have fun bowling.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby eran_rathan » Fri Feb 02, 2018 4:32 pm UTC

until you lose a finger because it gets stuck in the bowling ball and you hurtle hilariously but painfully down the bowling alley.

I can win at any game I try to play.
"We have met the enemy, and we are they. Them? We is it. Whatever."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Sableagle » Fri Feb 02, 2018 5:09 pm UTC

You lose all interest in games.

I can blow harmless, coloured smoke plumes without needing to smoke anything.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby eran_rathan » Fri Feb 02, 2018 6:01 pm UTC

but only from orifices other than your mouth.

I can drink all the coffee I want, at any time, with no ill effects.
"We have met the enemy, and we are they. Them? We is it. Whatever."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Ginger » Sat Feb 03, 2018 10:57 am UTC

Yes, yet any other drinks? Now poisons you to death.

I can light things on fire with my mind. Pyrokinesis baby.
Amy Lee wrote:Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies.


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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby phillip1882 » Sat Feb 03, 2018 2:56 pm UTC

unfortunately the mind is difficult to control, and you keep lighting things on fire unintentionally.


i can hug anyone without it being awkward.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby eran_rathan » Tue Feb 06, 2018 1:09 pm UTC

the hug isn't awkward, but everything else you do and say is.

I can make enough money to pay off my debts and live comfortably.
"We have met the enemy, and we are they. Them? We is it. Whatever."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby bug sniper » Tue Feb 06, 2018 3:14 pm UTC

Your job is at the U. S. Mint. You don't get to keep much of that money.

I can change how fast I perceive time whenever I want to.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby eran_rathan » Tue Feb 06, 2018 3:16 pm UTC

but you still move forward at 1 sec/sec (+/- time dilation due to velocity).

I can warp space and time to an extent that I can create a functional Alcubierre drive & get it to stop.
"We have met the enemy, and we are they. Them? We is it. Whatever."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Freddino18 » Wed Feb 07, 2018 5:26 pm UTC

Yet you are destroyed by Hawking radiation, and your destination is destroyed by the accumulated particles as you "decelerate".

I am not a robot.
Cautiously pessimistic.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby faubi » Thu Feb 08, 2018 12:06 am UTC

You are, in fact, multiple robots.

I can pull objects out of drawings to make them real.

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Freddino18 » Fri Feb 09, 2018 5:56 pm UTC

However, they are unable to cope as two-dimensional creatures lost in our three-dimensional world, looking for a purpose. They go on a murderous rampage yelling "mehoy menoy".

I have some paper, and thus can return them to their natural state.
Cautiously pessimistic.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Samik » Sat Feb 10, 2018 4:44 am UTC

There's a serious problem with this thread. In order to participate, you have to read the previous post. But then, you're on a cliffhanger unless you read the post it's responding to, and so on. You end up either having to embrace a cliffhanger you'll never get the answer to, or reading all the way back to the OP. (I guess that's more my problem than the thread's problem...)


Freddino18 wrote:I have some paper, and thus can return them to their natural state.

That's all well and good, but, just as faubi was able to drag them into our higher dimension, they are capable of dragging us to their lower dimension, and they want us to know how it feels.


I have the power to nullify any other super hero's power. Either passively, in a sort of dispersion field around my person, short range, or actively, on a specific target or targets, over longer range.

The idea being that I'd stay anonymous and low profile, train in all sorts of conventional combat techniques, then stalk a super hero, and when I sprung my trap, they'd find themselves suddenly a totally ordinary person, and have no time to react or understand what's going on as I bear down on them. I've spent all my life training for conventional combat, and they've spent all theirs relying on their superpowers. Advantage me.





eran_rathan wrote:
Pfhorrest wrote:
eran_rathan wrote:
Meowers wrote:I can create more cheese!

All the cheese is Roquefort.

That's hardly a downside, that almost makes it better.

Imagine only being allowed to have a single kind of anything, when you know there are lost of different kinds available. Like you have all the red single post Legos you could ever want, but no other pieces.

I'm imagining a Tetris game with only long blocks.

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Ginger » Sat Feb 10, 2018 4:59 am UTC

Samik wrote:The idea being that I'd stay anonymous and low profile, train in all sorts of conventional combat techniques, then stalk a super hero, and when I sprung my trap, they'd find themselves suddenly a totally ordinary person, and have no time to react or understand what's going on as I bear down on them. I've spent all my life training for conventional combat, and they've spent all theirs relying on their superpowers. Advantage me.

LOL Amateur I've spent multiple lifetimes training for beating scrubs like you because like, reincarnating infinitely is my superpower, and you can't nullify that until I'm dead. So I just notice you're stalking me, make an excuse to get behind you and stab you to death. Game, set, match.

My superpower is that I'm a vampiress with: Seduction gazes, can control wolves and become a bat too? Yes yes those things.
Amy Lee wrote:Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies.


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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Samik » Sat Feb 10, 2018 5:16 am UTC

Ginger wrote:
Samik wrote:The idea being that I'd stay anonymous and low profile, train in all sorts of conventional combat techniques, then stalk a super hero, and when I sprung my trap, they'd find themselves suddenly a totally ordinary person, and have no time to react or understand what's going on as I bear down on them. I've spent all my life training for conventional combat, and they've spent all theirs relying on their superpowers. Advantage me.

LOL Amateur I've spent multiple lifetimes training for beating scrubs like you because like, reincarnating infinitely is my superpower, and you can't nullify that until I'm dead. So I just notice you're stalking me, make an excuse to get behind you and stab you to death. Game, set, match.

Would you, though?

Functionally, you're truly immortal. And I'm the only entity in the universe that can take that from you. At first, this realization terrifies you, and you vow that I must be destroyed.

But when the moment comes, a thought creeps into your mind. Something you realize has probably always been there.

So many lives. So much experience. Love and loss and joy and suffering, a lifetime of lifetimes. A lifetime for every day a normal human lives. You're old. And tired. So tired. There's only so much a human mind can experience, and you've seen it all. Taken every challenge. Had every adventure. Gained everything there is to gain, and lost it all, over, and over, and over.

It hits you. There's only one adventure left. One final horizon to cross. One last road you long ago gave up hope of ever travelling. And if you kill me, here and now, you'll never get the chance again.


Close your eyes.
Take my hand.


For the first time, in countless millennia, adventure awaits...

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Ginger » Sat Feb 10, 2018 5:34 am UTC

Damn you write so prettily that I feels like... I should let you kill me and take away my multiple lifetimes of loss and revenge, love and happiness, sadness and depression... over and over. BUT: I am deathly afraid of dying so. I still stabs you to multiple deaths.
Amy Lee wrote:Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies.


Azula to Long Feng wrote:Don't flatter yourself, you were never even a player.

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Samik » Sat Feb 10, 2018 5:36 am UTC

Darn. I tried.


Ginger wrote:BUT: I am deathly afraid of dying so.

Would it get me anywhere to point out that I can save you from infinite future deaths?

You are going to die. Over and over and over again, forever.

I can stop it.

I'm the only one who ever can.

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Ginger » Sat Feb 10, 2018 5:44 am UTC

That is true. And I think you just rules lawyer this immortal woman lady to accept her final death. 'Cause as nice as like, coming back forever is? I'd rather die once and stay dead. So OK: Go ahead and kill me. And then someone answer my Goddess damned wish about being a hotness hipstress vampiress with: seduction gazes, control wolfies and bat transformations abilities pleasey-pleasey?
Amy Lee wrote:Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies.


Azula to Long Feng wrote:Don't flatter yourself, you were never even a player.

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Samik » Sat Feb 10, 2018 5:55 am UTC

I do it quickly, without malice. As the blade slides in, you see in my eyes that, so far as I can, I understand.

You feel the pain, in an abstract sort of way, but this is far from your first violent death; your mind is elsewhere now.

As your blood pressure drops and your vision fades, your inner mind casts out for what comes next, and you feel the tiniest curl of excitement...




I'll leave the vampiress superpower to the next poster.


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