*almost* the best superpower in the world

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Tomlidich the second
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*almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Tomlidich the second » Thu May 02, 2013 11:17 pm UTC

so heres how this works:

first, someone comes up with a superpower they would like to have. the next person then gives an exception to that superwpower which makes it awful to have, unimpressive, comical, etc.

example: A: i can go into any movie or tv program i want.
B: but only horror movies.


ill start.

i can fly.
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poxic
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby poxic » Thu May 02, 2013 11:18 pm UTC

But only indoors.

I can create money at will!
All empires fall.
Don't look back.
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Tomlidich the second
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Tomlidich the second » Thu May 02, 2013 11:32 pm UTC

monopoly money.

i can teleport from place to place
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Dr. Diaphanous
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Dr. Diaphanous » Fri May 03, 2013 2:26 am UTC

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Am7oKBD3PU

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Izawwlgood
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Izawwlgood » Fri May 03, 2013 2:27 am UTC

but only when asleep.

I can control fire.
... with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandalled feet.

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Dr. Diaphanous
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Dr. Diaphanous » Fri May 03, 2013 2:43 am UTC

You can make a pre-existing flame 10% bigger or smaller, if you are in physical contact with it (which still burns you).

Bullets and knives cannot harm me.
"God works in mysterious and breathtakingly cruel ways."

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snowyowl
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby snowyowl » Fri May 03, 2013 8:16 am UTC

But only when wielded by a licensed surgeon.

I can read minds.

Spoiler:
You've ruined everything for me.
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Vytron
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Vytron » Fri May 03, 2013 11:04 am UTC

But only of perverted people.

I can make people do what I want by touching them.

Spoiler:
snowyowl wrote:
You've ruined everything for me.


We need a unsee button. Urgently D:
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
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Nylonathatep
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Nylonathatep » Fri May 03, 2013 3:46 pm UTC

Vytron wrote:I can make people do what I want by touching them.


Only with their written consent while in the right mind.

I can perform astral projection.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri May 03, 2013 5:27 pm UTC

but only in a realm full of hamsters. nothing else, only hamsters.


i can shape shift
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Adam H
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Adam H » Fri May 03, 2013 8:13 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:i can shape shift
into squares, triangles, and other 2D shapes! that don't have brains (or any other shred of humanity, including the ability to shape shift back into tomlidich the second).

I am invincible!
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ArDeeJ
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby ArDeeJ » Fri May 03, 2013 8:38 pm UTC

...but so is everyone else, so it's not much of a superpower.

I can view everything in the world as objectively good or bad and act accordingly.
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Nylonathatep
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Nylonathatep » Fri May 03, 2013 9:00 pm UTC

ArDeeJ wrote:I can view everything in the world as objectively good or bad and act accordingly.


Except everyone just ignores anything you say... as well as accusing you of objectivity and moral relativism.

I become as popular as Flicky!

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ArDeeJ
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby ArDeeJ » Fri May 03, 2013 9:24 pm UTC

Indeed you do. Thing is, flicky's not that popular, really.

I can shoot lazors out of my eyes whenever I please.
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Dr. Diaphanous
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Dr. Diaphanous » Fri May 03, 2013 9:28 pm UTC

You can produce unlimited copies of a free puzzle game. It would be useful if you could also shoot laser beams as well.

I can transfigure any object into any other object.
"God works in mysterious and breathtakingly cruel ways."

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Adam H
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Adam H » Fri May 03, 2013 9:30 pm UTC

ArDeeJ wrote:I can shoot lazors out of my eyes whenever I please my archnemesis, sexually.
FTFY

I am an unusually good fighter!


grrrrr
-Adam

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Dr. Diaphanous
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Dr. Diaphanous » Fri May 03, 2013 9:54 pm UTC

But you can never use these skills as you are a pacifist.

I can heal any wound in seconds.
"God works in mysterious and breathtakingly cruel ways."

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Adam H
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Adam H » Fri May 03, 2013 10:03 pm UTC

Many, many, many seconds. Assuming you don't die first.

I am Magneto!
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Tomlidich the second
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri May 03, 2013 10:31 pm UTC

but you can only attract and manipulate gold for some reason.

i have telekinesis
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Nylonathatep
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Nylonathatep » Sat May 04, 2013 1:21 am UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:I have telekinesis


Only works when you stare at goats.

I have super reflex.

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ArDeeJ
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby ArDeeJ » Sat May 04, 2013 10:14 pm UTC

Spoiler:
Dr. Diaphanous wrote:You can produce unlimited copies of a free puzzle game. It would be useful if you could also shoot laser beams as well.
hey, i have that game on my iphone

Adam H wrote:
ArDeeJ wrote:I can shoot lazors out of my eyes whenever I please my archnemesis, sexually.
FTFY
do elaborate, please
Nylonathatep wrote:I have super reflex.

You have one super reflex. Turns out it's the gag reflex. Putting things, e.g. food, down your throat requires superpowers.

I'm socially perfectly functional and extroverted!
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby dudiobugtron » Sun May 05, 2013 1:34 am UTC

However, you only have your superpower when wearing a magic pair of socks. (PS: If you wash them they will lose their power.)

I can turn people into frogs.
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Vytron
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Vytron » Sun May 05, 2013 1:54 am UTC

But when you realized you had this power, you clapped your hands in happiness, turning yourself into a frog. Eventually, it was frog world.

I have super intelligence that allows me to make perfect plans, and successfully complete them.
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby dudiobugtron » Sun May 05, 2013 4:20 am UTC

You're basically the perfect super-villain. Unfortunately, your plans never take into account the actions of the 'good guy', and so they are always foiled anyway.

I have the power to program other people's VCRs.
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Vytron
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Vytron » Sun May 05, 2013 9:01 am UTC

You program people's VCR's perfectly, as you want, but it turns out the way you want it is not the way people want their VCR programmed. Which makes lots of people to hate you (which, if you meant to be a villain, I guess you'll have a good weapon for the "make a lame threat" thread.)

I have a magic hat, and I can get anything I want out of it magically.
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
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ArDeeJ
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby ArDeeJ » Sun May 05, 2013 9:37 am UTC

Turns out all you want is baby tortoises. Lots and lots of baby tortoises.

I'm Harry Potter!
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby dudiobugtron » Sun May 05, 2013 11:06 pm UTC

... from before he went to Hogwarts. So you can like talk to snakes and live in cupboards and stuff.

I am immortal.
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Vytron
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Vytron » Mon May 06, 2013 3:00 am UTC

But you also perceive time exponentially, so a few seconds of your time turn into thousands of years, and millions of years quickly. Afterwards, you see all the possible endings of the universe, one after another, getting stuck at Cold Deaths, but as time keeps accelerating, watching Big Bangs and universe ends in the blink of an eye.

Eventually, you reach an Omega Point of speed, and find yourself again in the present time, where you just gained immortality. However, time is being perceived logarithmically now, it is slowing down as it goes, and you can't do anything about it. Seconds turn into hours, then days, weeks, months and years, and soon enough, time seems to have stopped at all. You start to not perceive light, because the photons are moving so slowly that they never reach your eyes.

Suddenly you are in the dark, frozen in a single frame of time, forever.

I have super popularity powers, everyone knows who I am, they all love me.
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
Cheers Marsh'n!

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Vieto
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Vieto » Mon May 06, 2013 3:06 am UTC

They all love you... with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

I can control and manipulate plants to do my bidding!

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orangedragonfire
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby orangedragonfire » Mon May 06, 2013 4:28 am UTC

If you have seen plants, you know that they can't move much, and when they do, they tend to move veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery slooooooooowly. I guess you could use your talent to make a decent gardener, though.


I can bestow any power to anybody, including me.

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Vytron
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Vytron » Mon May 06, 2013 4:35 am UTC

But all the powers you bestow are *almost* the best superpower in the world, and all of them fail in the same way others have done in this thread.

I can "Undo time", so that if I see events happening the way I don't want, I can set time back to before they happened and undo them, while keeping my memory intact.
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
Cheers Marsh'n!

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Vieto
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Vieto » Mon May 06, 2013 4:47 am UTC

Unfortunately, time is linear, so one day you suddenly get a flood of memories, which causes you to enter a stable time loop which you are fully aware and conscious of and yet cannot do anything. The worst kind of groundhog day.

I have the power to win the lottery any time I buy a ticket.

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Vytron
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Vytron » Mon May 06, 2013 5:15 am UTC

But you are extremely poor, and in your entire lifetime couldn't ever save enough money to buy a single ticket.

I have the power to absorb the experience of everyone else and beat them at their own.
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
Cheers Marsh'n!

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snowyowl
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby snowyowl » Mon May 06, 2013 5:32 am UTC

Doing so overwrites your own memory. The first time you use your power you become an copy of your target.

I can understand any language.
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Vytron
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Vytron » Mon May 06, 2013 5:49 am UTC

Too bad you can't speak any!

After touching anything, I can choose to disintegrate it or not.
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
Cheers Marsh'n!

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Vieto
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Vieto » Mon May 06, 2013 5:58 am UTC

The default, if you don't shout out otherwise, is disintegration.

I can make waffles appear anywhere, when I want them.

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snowyowl
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby snowyowl » Mon May 06, 2013 7:27 am UTC

Your power isn't able to produce mass from nothing, so it assembles waffles out of pre-existing matter. Usually air. The nuclear reaction required to turn atmospheric oxygen and nitrogen into the carbon and hydrogen that waffles are largely made of also produces (as a side-effect) large amounts of heat and radioactivity, as well as removing most of the air from a half-cubic-meter volume. Any waffle you produce is completely burnt and sets off nearby Geiger counters.
The first time you use your power, you are rushed to the hospital with second-degree burns. A day later, you are rushed back out of the hospital after destroying the room you were sleeping in. You soon work out that your power is triggered by desire for waffles, and not activated at will. You can't even use it in self-defence since you'd need to feel a sudden desire for waffles in the middle of a fight. The military approaches you once, but your calling card is too obvious (craters centred on mysterious charred waffles? better assassinate that guy who materialises exploding waffles). You eventually withdraw from the world, dedicate yourself to a life of meditative contemplation, and occasionally make a waffle appear in the centre of the Sun where nobody will notice it.

I am omniscient.
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dudiobugtron
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby dudiobugtron » Mon May 06, 2013 7:51 am UTC

So then you already know why being omniscient isn't all it's cracked up to be. No point in me telling you, that would just rub it in.

I have a 'spidey sense' which tells me when danger is nearby.
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alessandro95
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby alessandro95 » Mon May 06, 2013 8:11 am UTC

unluckily you are alerted only when the danger is too near to be avoided

I can switch on or off any electrical device in a range of several kilometers
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Vytron
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Vytron » Mon May 06, 2013 8:49 am UTC

Unfortunately, every time you switch off THAT electrical device, ALL electrical devices in the radius are also switched off. Just like all of them get on when you switch one on. It gets annoying after awhile.

I can turn any food I touch into very delicious food.
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
Cheers Marsh'n!

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THANKS KARHELL!! :)


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