Something Vs. Something!! Now With 2 Exclamation Marks

For all your silly time-killing forum games.

Moderators: jestingrabbit, Moderators General, Prelates

User avatar
Vytron
Posts: 429
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:11 am UTC
Location: The Outside. I use She/He/Her/His/Him as gender neutral pronouns :P

Something Vs. Something!! Now With 2 Exclamation Marks

Postby Vytron » Mon Sep 22, 2014 5:09 am UTC

This little game here, in this thread, we get to know what thing beats another!

I'll put something in a Spoiler. The next person posts something on a spoiler without reading mine!

Then, another person comes, opens both spoilers, announces Something Vs. Something (what things are fighting), and declares a winner! Then, they post a new spoiler that can't be opened by the next person. Another comes and posts a spoiler with another thing. Another comes and declares a winner...

On Redos

If the result of your match is deemed too boring or confusing or incomprehensible anyone may jump in and make an alternate version of it or request someone to do so. If that happens the result of the redo stands.

On AarexTiaokhiao

AarexTiaokhiao has been banned from this thread, please ignore his posts.

You can make an empty post and edit it later with a result of a match, so people don't ninja you!

Ready? Go!

Spoiler:
A toothbrush!
Last edited by Vytron on Sat Sep 12, 2015 3:33 pm UTC, edited 4 times in total.

User avatar
Neil_Boekend
Posts: 3220
Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2013 6:35 am UTC
Location: Yes.

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Neil_Boekend » Mon Sep 22, 2014 7:14 am UTC

I am curious if this works.
Spoiler:
A cannon that shoots running chainsaws
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

User avatar
bachaddict
Handel Played it Better
Posts: 484
Joined: Wed Dec 19, 2012 7:18 am UTC
Location: Aotearoa

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby bachaddict » Mon Sep 22, 2014 7:55 am UTC

A toothbrush vs a cannon that shoots running chainsaws.

The toothbrush gets into the cannon's firing mechanism and stops it working. No chainsaws can fly!

Spoiler:
Chuck Norr‎ïs
slinches wrote:Also, the OTC isn't a disease. In fact, it's the cure. As we all know, Time heals all wounds.

Thanks for the molpish wig ggh!
he/him/his

User avatar
Vytron
Posts: 429
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:11 am UTC
Location: The Outside. I use She/He/Her/His/Him as gender neutral pronouns :P

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Vytron » Mon Sep 22, 2014 8:13 am UTC

:)

Spoiler:
Mario (Super Mario Bros. Series)

User avatar
Neil_Boekend
Posts: 3220
Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2013 6:35 am UTC
Location: Yes.

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Neil_Boekend » Mon Sep 22, 2014 8:28 am UTC

Chuck Norr‎ïs vs Mario
Chuck Norr‎ïs is a Swedish knock off from Chuck Norr‎is and not as awesome by far. Mario wins.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

User avatar
Vytron
Posts: 429
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:11 am UTC
Location: The Outside. I use She/He/Her/His/Him as gender neutral pronouns :P

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Vytron » Mon Sep 22, 2014 8:30 am UTC

Well done Toothbrush and Mario! :)

Also, Neil, you forgot to send something in a spoiler :wink:

User avatar
Neil_Boekend
Posts: 3220
Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2013 6:35 am UTC
Location: Yes.

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Neil_Boekend » Mon Sep 22, 2014 8:45 am UTC

oops
Spoiler:
a spoiler
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

User avatar
Lawrencelot
Posts: 23
Joined: Sun Oct 13, 2013 8:10 am UTC

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Lawrencelot » Mon Sep 22, 2014 9:24 am UTC

Spoiler:
A lightsaber.


Also, maybe the first 8 or 16 or 32 winning 'somethings' can fight each other off in a tournament (in a new thread?). That'd be awesome

User avatar
Vytron
Posts: 429
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:11 am UTC
Location: The Outside. I use She/He/Her/His/Him as gender neutral pronouns :P

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Vytron » Mon Sep 22, 2014 9:36 am UTC

Lawrencelot wrote:Also, maybe the first 8 or 16 or 32 winning 'somethings' can fight each other off in a tournament (in a new thread?). That'd be awesome


I approve!

A spoiler Vs. a lightsaber!

The lightsaber appears, very magnificent, swinging around with flashy lights and sounds and splits many things around just to intimidate the spoiler.

But the lightsaber hasn't watched the Star Wars Trilogy...

The spoiler spoils that Darth Vader is the father of Luke!

Lightsaber: "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

The spoiler has won!

Next up:
Spoiler:
A potato.

User avatar
Earthling on Mars
Morning
Posts: 669
Joined: Sat Apr 06, 2013 6:35 pm UTC
Location: Somewhere in the Solar System

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Earthling on Mars » Mon Sep 22, 2014 12:22 pm UTC

Spoiler:
A wallaby.

User avatar
Neil_Boekend
Posts: 3220
Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2013 6:35 am UTC
Location: Yes.

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Neil_Boekend » Mon Sep 22, 2014 1:45 pm UTC

A potato vs a wallaby

The wallaby thinks the potato is edible and tries. Little does it know: raw potatoes are toxic. The wallaby gets sick.
He recovers. The potato does not recover from being eaten.
The wallaby wins.

Spoiler:
a pen
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

User avatar
Reecer6
Posts: 101
Joined: Fri Nov 30, 2012 12:59 am UTC

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Reecer6 » Mon Sep 22, 2014 2:36 pm UTC

Our next contestant:
Spoiler:
A milkman.

User avatar
patzer
Posts: 431
Joined: Fri Mar 30, 2012 5:48 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby patzer » Mon Sep 22, 2014 3:27 pm UTC

A pen vs a milkman.

The milkman picks up the pen and begins writing with it. The pen accompanies the milkman on his many travels, but finally runs out of ink and gets discarded. The milkman wins.


Next:
Spoiler:
Satan
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands. –Douglas Adams

User avatar
SDK
Posts: 701
Joined: Thu May 22, 2014 7:40 pm UTC
Location: Canada

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby SDK » Mon Sep 22, 2014 3:36 pm UTC

Spoiler:
Galactus
The biggest number (63 quintillion googols in debt)

User avatar
Reecer6
Posts: 101
Joined: Fri Nov 30, 2012 12:59 am UTC

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Reecer6 » Mon Sep 22, 2014 6:28 pm UTC

Satan vs Galactus.

Satan banishes Galactus to hell, where he instantly causes a cave-in do to his sheer size and is crushed to death by practically infinite rocks, as well as having some rocks inside of him when he was portaled in. Teleportation is a ruthless technology, for even Satan is only a winner in technicality; his domain is in ruins.

Next up:
Spoiler:
A swiveling office chair.

User avatar
Earthling on Mars
Morning
Posts: 669
Joined: Sat Apr 06, 2013 6:35 pm UTC
Location: Somewhere in the Solar System

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Earthling on Mars » Mon Sep 22, 2014 6:40 pm UTC

Spoiler:
A velociraptor.

User avatar
Whizbang
The Best Reporter
Posts: 2238
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2012 7:50 pm UTC
Location: New Hampshire, USA

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Whizbang » Mon Sep 22, 2014 8:08 pm UTC

Spoiler:
Common Sense

User avatar
Adam H
Posts: 1267
Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2011 6:36 pm UTC

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Adam H » Mon Sep 22, 2014 8:51 pm UTC

Swiveling Office Chair vs. Vilociraptor

Vilociraptor is surprisingly powerless against the swiveling office chair. Bites and scratches do little to stop the incessant swiveling. In a fit of frustration, vilociraptor leaps high into the air and plows claws first on the chair, but it proves to be a fatal mistake. The chair deftly swivels and vilociraptor is thrown violently to the ground.

Swiveling Office Chair Wins!


Next:
Spoiler:
Machine gun loaded with candy sprinkles


Also, I wrote this up before I realized that Common Sense didn't count:
Spoiler:
Vilociraptor vs. Common Sense:

At first glance, this matchup looks fairly even. But then it's actually the inclusion of Common Sense that reminds the judges not to overthink it. Common Sense is an abstract concept and cannot engage in physical contests. "But wait! You used me in order to come to that conclusion! Doesn't that mean-" Shut up Common Sense you are a loser and no one wants to hear losers whine.

Vilociraptor wins!
-Adam

User avatar
SDK
Posts: 701
Joined: Thu May 22, 2014 7:40 pm UTC
Location: Canada

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby SDK » Mon Sep 22, 2014 9:01 pm UTC

Awww, too slow! (see second spoiler for my next contestant)
Spoiler:
Tonight: The exciting three-way cage match between A Swiveling Office Chair, A Velociraptor and Common Sense!

Common Sense takes a very practical appoach, standing on the sidelines while the Velociraptor charges at the SOC. "Not in MY house!" you can imagine the SOC saying as he flips the Velociraptor in a powerful facebreaker. The Velociraptor is dazed and while the crowd shouts, "FINISH HIM!", Common Sense wonders what he's even doing here. The SOC doesn't capitalize on the Velociraptor's moment of weakness, instead just standing still, apparently enjoying the crowd's roars of appreciation. Common Sense slips between the bars, unnoticed by the other fighters or even by the crowd. Finally, Velociraptor regains his senses and lunges at the SOC, this time from behind! There's a loud gasp in the crowd as the dinosaur's claws take a large gash out of the polyester seat cover, revealing some of the cushion beneath. The SOC doesn't wait long for revenge, as he deftly slides in the other direction, causing the raptor to lose balance and fall to one knee. Velociraptor looks up with narrowed eyes and leaps onto the chair, shredding the backrest with teeth and claws as they together slam into the opposite side of the cage. The SOC seems unfazed, but the Velociraptor is losing interest in the fight. He watches the chair uncertainly for a time before clawing at the bars and trying to devise a way out. Finally, two minutes is up, the cage lifts and the raptor proceeds to terrorize the crowd.

Meanwhile, Common Sense has left the building.

The winner is Swiveling Office Chair! (by disqualification)


Spoiler:
A raging internet nerd
The biggest number (63 quintillion googols in debt)

User avatar
Vytron
Posts: 429
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:11 am UTC
Location: The Outside. I use She/He/Her/His/Him as gender neutral pronouns :P

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Vytron » Mon Sep 22, 2014 9:21 pm UTC

Machine gun loaded with candy sprinkles Vs A raging internet nerd

The fight starts! The Machine gun starts firing several candy sprinkles, but the raging internet nerd avoids them all! Then he... starts complaining...

A raging internet nerd: "WHAT THE ****! WHAT IS THIS?? I DON'T EVEN!! MACHINE GUNS DON'T WORK LIKE THAT, IF THAT WAS A MACHINE GUN, I'D HAVE BEEN KILLED BY THE ATTACK! THIS IS THE WORST. MATCH. EVER. WINNING MEANS NOTHING, THIS SUCKS ****** *****! CHIRST, WHAT AN *******"

And the raging internet nerd...

/ragequits

Machine gun loaded with candy sprinkles win!

Later that day, the nerd realized he was full of candy sprinkles, had them been bullets he'd have died, but he didn't pay attention to what kind of Machine gun he was fighting, but it's too late to unragequit!

Next Challenger:
Spoiler:
Ken Masters (Street Fighter Series)

User avatar
Adam H
Posts: 1267
Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2011 6:36 pm UTC

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Adam H » Mon Sep 22, 2014 9:30 pm UTC

Spoiler:
A roll of duct tape
-Adam

User avatar
patzer
Posts: 431
Joined: Fri Mar 30, 2012 5:48 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby patzer » Mon Sep 22, 2014 9:31 pm UTC

Spoiler:
Goatse
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands. –Douglas Adams

User avatar
Whizbang
The Best Reporter
Posts: 2238
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2012 7:50 pm UTC
Location: New Hampshire, USA

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Whizbang » Mon Sep 22, 2014 9:31 pm UTC

Sorry I messed it up. :(

Machine gun loaded with candy sprinkles vs. A raging internet nerd

Machine gun loaded with candy sprinkles sits there on the floor, ineffectual without a living being with someone or something to operate it.

The raging internet nerd sits in his chair, ineffectual by definition.

FIGHT!

The raging internet nerd (RIN) frantically start typing a scathing analysis and impracticality of a machine gun loaded with candy sprinkles. The machine gun loaded with candy sprinkles (MGLWCS) sits on the floor. RIN goes on a all-night binge of Skyrim, Mtn. Dew, and pornography. MGLWCS sits on the floor. RIN eventually forgets about the MGLWCS as he moves on to other rants. MGLWCS sits on the floor. RIN eventually gets a girlfriend. MGLWCS sits on the floor. RIN's girlfriend motivates him to get out and do things more often. MGLWCS sits on the floor. RIN's health improves, his happiness increases, he begets children. MGLWCS sits on the floor. RIN matures, grows old. MGLWCS sits on the floor. RIN, dies at the old age of 190 (medical advancement being what it is). MGLWCS sits on the floor... victorious.


Spoiler:
Andromeda Galaxy


[Edit]

...Aaaaand it took too long to compose this, so meh.

User avatar
Vytron
Posts: 429
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:11 am UTC
Location: The Outside. I use She/He/Her/His/Him as gender neutral pronouns :P

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Vytron » Mon Sep 22, 2014 9:44 pm UTC

So I guess it's...

A roll of duct tape Vs. Goatse!

The roll of duct tape covers up all the Goatse, nobody can see the Goatse anymore!

A roll of duct tape wins, for everyone!

Spoiler:
A TV.

User avatar
Earthling on Mars
Morning
Posts: 669
Joined: Sat Apr 06, 2013 6:35 pm UTC
Location: Somewhere in the Solar System

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Earthling on Mars » Mon Sep 22, 2014 10:11 pm UTC

I'll take the last two as the next fight, so...

Andromeda Galaxy vs. a TV!

The Andromeda Galaxy collides with the Milky Way. The TV displays this on its screen with special effects and epic background music. The TV then falls into the black hole in the center of the Andromeda Galaxy.

The Andromeda Galaxy wins.

Next:
Spoiler:
A rubber ball.

User avatar
Vytron
Posts: 429
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:11 am UTC
Location: The Outside. I use She/He/Her/His/Him as gender neutral pronouns :P

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Vytron » Mon Sep 22, 2014 10:32 pm UTC

The OP has been updated! Now you can make an empty post and edit it later with a match result, so what you write remains canon and other people know you're working on it!

Now, let's give a chance to something that has appeared in many WHAT-IFs, but not on an actual match, Common Sense!

Common Sense Vs. A rubber ball.

The rubber ball was thinking about if it'd be a good idea to jump into a fire pit, or not, it kept considering its options...

To jump, or not to jump...

Common Sense hit it: no! If you jump you would burn alive! Or, whatever the way inanimate objects burn! Burning is bad! Don't do it!

The rubber ball listens and doesn't jump into the pit.

Common sense has won this fight!

Spoiler:
Ken Masters (Street Fighter Series)

<repost>

User avatar
patzer
Posts: 431
Joined: Fri Mar 30, 2012 5:48 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby patzer » Mon Sep 22, 2014 11:22 pm UTC

Spoiler:
Canada
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands. –Douglas Adams

User avatar
Neil_Boekend
Posts: 3220
Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2013 6:35 am UTC
Location: Yes.

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Neil_Boekend » Tue Sep 23, 2014 5:35 am UTC

Ken Masters (Street Fighter Series) vs Canada

Ken Masters attacks Canada. Canada responds with their entire army. It is not enough, Ken beats them all.

Spoiler:
a zombi
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

User avatar
Vytron
Posts: 429
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:11 am UTC
Location: The Outside. I use She/He/Her/His/Him as gender neutral pronouns :P

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Vytron » Tue Sep 23, 2014 5:47 am UTC

Spoiler:
Sliced bread.

User avatar
patzer
Posts: 431
Joined: Fri Mar 30, 2012 5:48 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby patzer » Tue Sep 23, 2014 12:20 pm UTC

A zombi vs sliced bread. The zombies don't eat sliced bread, so sliced bread survives. The zombies aren't as lucky. Sliced bread wins.

Spoiler:
Zoos
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands. –Douglas Adams

User avatar
Earthling on Mars
Morning
Posts: 669
Joined: Sat Apr 06, 2013 6:35 pm UTC
Location: Somewhere in the Solar System

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Earthling on Mars » Tue Sep 23, 2014 1:11 pm UTC

Spoiler:
Randall Munroe.

User avatar
Neil_Boekend
Posts: 3220
Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2013 6:35 am UTC
Location: Yes.

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Neil_Boekend » Tue Sep 23, 2014 2:25 pm UTC

Zoos vs Randal Munroe

Since all three of us are recorded OTTers, Randal is a God in this context (or you are a heretic). There is no way zoos are going to compete with that. Randal wins.

Spoiler:
the Mythbusters
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

User avatar
SDK
Posts: 701
Joined: Thu May 22, 2014 7:40 pm UTC
Location: Canada

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby SDK » Tue Sep 23, 2014 2:33 pm UTC

Spoiler:
Quantum Physics
The biggest number (63 quintillion googols in debt)

User avatar
patzer
Posts: 431
Joined: Fri Mar 30, 2012 5:48 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby patzer » Tue Sep 23, 2014 3:06 pm UTC

The Mythbusters vs Quantum Physics.

The Mythbusters try their best to disprove quantum physics, but fail to do so because quantum physics is real. Quantum physics wins.

Spoiler:
Kim Jong-un
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands. –Douglas Adams

User avatar
Whizbang
The Best Reporter
Posts: 2238
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2012 7:50 pm UTC
Location: New Hampshire, USA

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Whizbang » Tue Sep 23, 2014 3:12 pm UTC

Spoiler:
Rock

User avatar
Adam H
Posts: 1267
Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2011 6:36 pm UTC

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Adam H » Tue Sep 23, 2014 3:57 pm UTC

Kim Jong-un vs. Rock

Rock hits Kim Jung-un over the head and kills him.

Rock wins!

Next:
Spoiler:
The Rock
-Adam

User avatar
Earthling on Mars
Morning
Posts: 669
Joined: Sat Apr 06, 2013 6:35 pm UTC
Location: Somewhere in the Solar System

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Earthling on Mars » Tue Sep 23, 2014 3:58 pm UTC

Spoiler:
The sky.

User avatar
Neil_Boekend
Posts: 3220
Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2013 6:35 am UTC
Location: Yes.

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Neil_Boekend » Tue Sep 23, 2014 4:00 pm UTC

The Rock vs The sky.

The Rock and the sky have an acting battle. The sky is an inanimate object like thing and thus can't physically act. The Rock acts even worse. The sky wins.

Spoiler:
This topic
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

User avatar
SDK
Posts: 701
Joined: Thu May 22, 2014 7:40 pm UTC
Location: Canada

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby SDK » Tue Sep 23, 2014 4:09 pm UTC

Spoiler:
Bilbo Baggins
The biggest number (63 quintillion googols in debt)

User avatar
Whizbang
The Best Reporter
Posts: 2238
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2012 7:50 pm UTC
Location: New Hampshire, USA

Re: Something Vs. Something

Postby Whizbang » Tue Sep 23, 2014 6:08 pm UTC

This Topic vs Bilbo Baggins

Bilbo puts on the ring, vanishes, draws Sting and charges this thread. Bilbo's mind is completely blown by the total incompatibility of this thread with everything he has ever experienced. Bilbo becomes a blithering imbecile and the Shire Drunk. The Sackville Baggin's rob him blind. He never adopts Frodo. The Nazgul invade the shire and take the ring. Sauron takes over the world and destroys all light creatures.

Sauron then discovers this thread and his mind gets blown. His power circles in on itself and he implodes. Tom Bombadil sings a song about this thread.

Winner, This Thread.

Next up:

Spoiler:
Hydrogen and Time


Return to “Forum Games”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 46 guests