Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

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Lawrencelot
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Joined: Sun Oct 13, 2013 8:10 am UTC

Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Lawrencelot » Mon Sep 21, 2015 3:25 pm UTC

Join at any time! Warning: may contain some profanity

1. One player posts a sentence and leaves one word out, for example: "When I am President of the United States, I will create the Department of __________". You can also ask a question, like: "What ended my last relationship"? See http://www.cardsagainsthumanity.com/bcards.txt for more examples
2. The other players post ten random numbers between 1 and 706, these are their cards. If you already have cards, add cards until you have ten cards.
3. The players check the Word list spoiler below to see what's written on their cards, and post one of their options (they lose this card). Example: "When I am President of the United States, I will create the Department of Finding Waldo".
4. After at least 24 hours, the player who posted the sentence decides which option was the funniest. That player gets an awesome point, and the next player may post a sentence.

Word list:
Spoiler:
1. The profoundly handicapped.
2. Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum.
3. Upgrading homeless people to mobile hotspots.
4. Mutually-assured destruction.
5. Waterboarding.
6. Judge Judy.
7. Whipping a disobedient slave.
8. Pterodactyl eggs.
9. A mopey zoo lion.
10. Foreskin.
11. The forbidden fruit.
12. Graphic violence, adult language and some sexual content.
13. Pretending to be happy.
14. Fisting.
15. Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog.
16. Whining like a little bitch.
17. The World of Warcraft.
18. The grey nutrient broth that sustains Mitt Romney.
19. Running naked through a mall, pissing and shitting everywhere.
20. Geese.
21. My soul.
22. Scrubbing under the folds.
23. Putting an entire peanut buter and jelly sandwich into the VCR.
24. Glenn Beck catching his scrotum on a curtain hook.
25. One thousand Slim Jims.
26. A salty surprise.
27. Another shitty year.
28. MechaHitler.
29. Whipping it out.
30. Racially-biased SAT questions.
31. Smegma.
32. Dry heaving.
33. A mime having a stroke.
34. Bill Clinton, naked on a bearskin rug with a saxophone.
35. The Harlem Globetrotters.
36. Wearing underwear inside-out to avoid doing laundry.
37. A sausage festival.
38. Britney Spears at 55.
39. Smallpox blankets.
40. Not reciprocating oral sex.
41. A surprising amount of hair.
42. Vehicular manslaughter.
43. Drinking alone.
44. A botched circumcision.
45. A crappy little hand.
46. Cards Against Humanity.
47. Pabst Blue Ribbon.
48. A micropenis.
49. Spending lots of money.
50. Some really fucked-up shit.
51. Sexy siamese twins.
52. A toxic family environment.
53. Natalie Portman.
54. Flightless birds.
55. YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS.
56. Tongue.
57. Insatiable bloodlust.
58. Jafar.
59. 72 virgins.
60. Not contributing to society in any meaningful way.
61. Vigilante justice.
62. A homoerotic volleyball montage.
63. Fingering.
64. Hormone injections.
65. An erection that lasts more than four hours.
66. Pretty Pretty Princess Dress-Up Board Game.
67. Actually taking candy from a baby.
68. Beefin' over turf.
69. Getting in her pants, politely.
70. The Ubermensch.
71. Darth Vader.
72. Re-gifting.
73. Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine.
74. A cop who is also a dog.
75. Hipsters.
76. Alcoholism.
77. Michelle Obama's arms.
78. Exactly what you'd expect.
79. Puppies!
80. Neil Patrick Harris.
81. American Gladiators.
82. White people.
83. Flesh-eating bacteria.
84. Eating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake-sale.
85. Jeff Goldblum.
86. Chivalry.
87. Boogers.
88. Hillary Clinton's death stare.
89. Feeding Rosie O'Donnell.
90. World peace.
91. A murder most foul.
92. A bigger, blacker dick.
93. Penis envy.
94. The homosexual agenda.
95. The South.
96. A good sniff.
97. Drinking ten 5-hour ENERGYs to get fifty continuous hours of energy.
98. All-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99.
99. Michael Jackson.
100. Keg stands.
101. An icepick lobotomy.
102. Christopher Walken.
103. Aaron Burr.
104. Gladitorial combat.
105. A bloody pacifier.
106. Praying the gay away.
107. Fuck Mountain.
108. Oversized lollipops.
109. The placenta.
110. Self-loathing.
111. Mall Santa.
112. Quiche.
113. Too much hair gel.
114. My genitals.
115. Nipple blades.
116. Fiery poops.
117. Euphoria by Calvin Klein.
118. Kim-Jong-il.
119. Winking at old people.
120. Friends with benefits.
121. The miracle of childbirth.
122. A sad fat dragon with no friends.
123. The Tempur-Pedic Swedish Sleep System.
124. Free samples.
125. Whatever Kwanzaa is supposed to be about.
126. Lactation.
127. A death ray.
128. A zesty breakfast burrito.
129. Jerking off into a pool of children's tears.
130. An honest cop with nothing left to lose.
131. Finger painting.
132. A visually arresting turtleneck.
133. Jibber-jabber.
134. Jean-Claude Van Damme.
135. Friction.
136. Taking down Santa with a surface-to-air missiles.
137. Gift-wrapping a live hamster.
138. Fear itself.
139. Crying into the pages of Sylvia Plath.
140. Sperm whales.
141. Justin Bieber.
142. Warm, velvety muppet sex.
143. Being a bust adult with many important things to do.
144. Hot people.
145. White privilege.
146. Reverse cowgirl.
147. Leveling up.
148. Zeus's sexual appetites.
149. Mild autism.
150. A really cool hat.
151. A rival dojo
152. Prancing.
153. My collection of high-tech sex toys.
154. An M. Night Shyamalan plot twist.
155. A greased-up Matthew McConaughey.
156. Being rich.
157. Another shop of morphine.
158. A tiny horse.
159. 8 oz. of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin.
160. A slightly shittier parallel universe.
161. Slapping a racist old lady.
162. A beached whale.
163. A disappointing birthday party.
164. Spontaneous human combustion.
165. Morgan Freeman's voice.
166. Jewish fraternities.
167. Velcro.
168. Stephen Hawking talking dirty.
169. Customer service representatives.
170. Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament.
171. Finding a skeleton.
172. My relationship status.
173. The entire Internet.
174. Nazis.
175. A middle-aged man on roller skates.
176. A Christmas stocking full of coleslaw.
177. Women in yogurt commercials.
178. Sudden Poop Explosion Disease.
179. A monkey smoking a cigar.
180. Count Chocula.
181. Lumberjack fantasies.
182. The economy.
183. Dorito breath.
184. Natural male enhancement.
185. Stranger danger.
186. Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king.
187. Revenge fucking.
188. Self-flagellation.
189. Seduction.
190. A magic hippie love cloud.
191. Carnies.
192. Me.
193. Pixelated bukkake.
194. A big black dick.
195. Lockjaw.
196. Genghis Khan.
197. Nocturnal emissions.
198. BATMAN!!!
199. The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
200. Picking up girls at the abortion clinic.
201. All of this blood.
202. Krampus, the Austrian Christmas Monster.
203. Eating the last known Bison.
204. A cooler full of organs.
205. Crystal meth.
206. Repression,.
207. Grave robbing.
208. RoboCop.
209. Forgetting the Alamo.
210. Ethnic cleansing.
211. Tiny nipples.
212. Poor life choices.
213. A lifetime of sadness.
214. Basic human decency.
215. Suicidal thoughts.
216. The tiny calloused hands of the Chinese children that made this card.
217. Letting everyone down.
218. Just the tip.
219. Bosnian chicken farmers.
220. George Clooney's musk.
221. The Virginia Tech Massacre.
222. Gloryholes.
223. Mouth herpes.
224. Vigorous jazz hands.
225. Police brutality.
226. Goblins.
227. Double penetration.
228. Passive-aggressive Post-it notes.
229. Hulk Hogan.
230. A Hungry-Man Frozen Christmas Dinner for One.
231. Cock.
232. Bingeing and purging.
233. The Land of Chocolate.
234. A 55-gallon drum of lube.
235. Catastrophic Urethral Trauma.
236. Natural selection.
237. Nunchuck moves.
238. My hot cousin.
239. Several intertwining love stories featuring Hugh Grant.
240. Sexual tension.
241. Former President George W. Bush.
242. Sweet, sweet vengeance.
243. Bees?
244. Leprosy.
245. Teaching a robot to love.
246. Three months in the hole.
247. That ass.
248. The hiccups.
249. Coat hanger abortions.
250. Consultants.
251. Robert Downey, Jr.
252. A dollop of sour cream.
253. Horrifying laser hair removal accidents.
254. The Gulags.
255. Exchanging pleasantries.
256. Object permanence.
257. The shambling corpse of Larry King.
258. A pile of squirming bodies.
259. The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.
260. Copping a feel.
261. Switching to Geico.
262. The Force.
263. The Care Bear Stare.
264. Crippling debt.
265. The violation of our most basic human rights.
266. Uppercuts.
267. Land mines.
268. Masturbation.
269. Sexual humiliation.
270. Fancy Feast.
271. Hope.
272. The Fanta girls.
273. Full frontal nudity.
274. Being fabulous.
275. Kamikaze pilots.
276. A can of whoop-ass.
277. The clitoris.
278. Obesity.
279. Bitches.
280. Shapeshifters.
281. Special musical guest, Cher.
282. “Tweeting.”
283. A soulful rendition of “Ol' Man River.”
284. Dick Cheney.
285. Boris the Soviet Love Hammer.
286. Scalping.
287. An unstoppable wave of fire ants.
288. Incest.
289. A cat video so cute that your eyes roll back and your spine slides out of your anus.
290. Leaving an awkward voicemail.
291. Adderall.
292. Making the penises kiss.
293. Sean Penn.
294. The human body.
295. Serfdom.
296. Science.
297. Glenn Beck being harried by a swarm of buzzards.
298. Poorly-timed Holocaust jokes.
299. Tasteful sideboob.
300. Intelligent design.
301. Daddy issues.
302. Date rape.
303. German dungeon porn.
304. A black male in his early 20s, last seen wearing a hoodie.
305. Nublile slave boys.
306. Dining with cardboard cutouts of the cast of “Friends.”
307. The token minority.
308. Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth II.
309. Civilian casualties.
310. Words, words, words.
311. The Holy Bible.
312. The hardworking Mexican.
313. Same-sex ice dancing.
314. Vikings.
315. A vagina that leads to another dimension.
316. Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse.
317. GoGurt.
318. Getting really high.
319. The Star Wars Holiday Special.
320. Anal beads.
321. Pictures of boobs.
322. Dying of dysentery.
323. Republicans.
324. Asians who aren't good at math.
325. Estrogen.
326. Historically black colleges.
327. Slow motion.
328. Emotions.
329. The Jews.
330. Getting hilariously gang-banged by the Blue Man Group.
331. Golden showers.
332. Public ridicule.
333. A sweaty, panting leather daddy.
334. Black people.
335. A Super Soaker full of cat pee.
336. The Pope.
337. The taint; the grundle; the fleshy fun-bridge.
338. Farting and walking away.
339. Not giving a shit about the Third World.
340. The terrorists.
341. Ominous background music.
342. Elderly Japanese men.
343. Being a dinosaur.
344. The gays.
345. The day the birds attacked.
346. Sarah Palin.
347. Surprise sex!
348. Taking a man's eyes and balls out and putting his eyes where his balls go and then his balls in the eye holes.
349. A low standard of living.
350. The Google.
351. Arnold Schwarzenegger.
352. Loki, the trickster god.
353. Goats eating cans.
354. Pulling out,
355. Gay aliens.
356. Buying the right pants to be cool.
357. A web of lies.
358. A lamprey swimming up the toilet and latching onto your taint.
359. Survivor's guilt.
360. A drive-by shooting.
361. Hurricane Katrina.
362. Dancing with a broom.
363. William Shatner.
364. The Hustle.
365. The underground railroad.
366. Some kind of bird-man.
367. The four arms of Vishnu.
368. A pinata full of scorpions.
369. Media coverage.
370. Wearing an octopus for a hat.
371. A Burmese tiger pit.
372. Disco fever.
373. Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor.
374. Muhammad (Praise Be Unto Him).
375. Shaquille O'Neal's acting career.
376. Pretending to care.
377. Homeless people.
378. Multiple stab wounds.
379. Panty raids.
380. A fetus.
381. Classist Undertones.
382. A spontaneous conga line.
383. Children on leashes.
384. Yeast.
385. That thing that electrocutes your abs.
386. Genital piercings.
387. Sunshine and rainbows.
388. Licking things to claim them as your own.
389. Flying robots that kill people.
390. Active listening.
391. Literally eating shit.
392. God.
393. Old-people smell.
394. A bleached asshole.
395. The way white people is.
396. Testicular torsion.
397. Embryonic stem cells.
398. An unhinged ferris wheel rolling toward the sea.
399. Authentic Mexican cuisine.
400. The Quesadilla Explosion Salad from Chili’s.
401. Wiping her butt.
402. Eating an albino.
403. Overpowering your father.
404. Kanye West.
405. The Blood of Christ.
406. Samuel L. Jackson.
407. Soup that is too hot.
408. Nicolas Cage.
409. Apologizing.
410. Being a motherfucking sorcerer.
411. Kids with ass cancer.
412. Being on fire.
413. Deflowering the princess.
414. Autocannibalism.
415. Making a pouty face.
416. Peeing a little bit.
417. Actually getting shot, for real.
418. Enormous Scandinavian women.
419. The primal, ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now.
420. Mr. Clean, right behind you.
421. My manservant, Claude.
422. Nickelback.
423. Elf cum.
424. Teenage pregnancy.
425. The chronic.
426. Blowing some dudes in an alley.
427. Dying.
428. Erectile dysfunction.
429. Parting the Red Sea.
430. Weapons-grade plutonium.
431. Stifling a giggle at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis.
432. My inner demons.
433. A sweet spaceship.
434. College.
435. A squadron of moles wearing aviator goggles.
436. A gentle caress of the inner thigh.
437. An ass disaster.
438. Sean Connery.
439. An asymmetric boob job.
440. Fucking up “Silent Night” in front of 300 parents.
441. Loose lips.
442. Doing the right thing.
443. Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up.
444. Having sex on top of a pizza.
445. Explosions.
446. A falcon with a cap on its head.
447. A defective condom.
448. Flying sex snakes.
449. Edible underpants.
450. Getting your dick stuck in a Chinese finger trap with another dick.
451. Flash flooding.
452. A Gypsy curse.
453. Puberty.
454. The invisible hand.
455. Dick fingers.
456. Soiling oneself.
457. A thermonuclear detonation.
458. Agriculture.
459. Italians.
460. The corporations.
461. The true meaning of Christmas.
462. Skeletor.
463. The thin veneer of situational causality that underlies porn.
464. Charisma.
465. Road head.
466. Necrophilia.
467. Being marginalized.
468. Statistically validated stereotypes.
469. Famine.
470. Getting drunk on mouthwash.
471. Space muffins.
472. My first kill.
473. Pedophiles.
474. Assless chaps.
475. African children.
476. Tom Cruise.
477. The Trail of Tears.
478. Frolicking.
479. An Oedipus complex.
480. Friendly fire.
481. The Hamburglar.
482. Santa Claus.
483. Unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks.
484. An ether-soaked rag.
485. Space Jam on VHS.
486. Doin' it in the butt.
487. The Chinese gymnastics team.
488. Mufasa’s death scene.
489. Mooing.
490. Clams.
491. Not having sex.
492. Fabricating statistics.
493. A stray pube.
494. A robust mongoloid.
495. Pumping out a baby every nine months.
496. Laying an egg.
497. The inevitable heat death of the universe.
498. A windmill full of corpses.
499. Getting so angry that you pop a boner.
500. Me time.
501. AXE body spray.
502. When you fart and a little bit comes out.
503. Altar boys.
504. Menstruation.
505. Filling every orifice with butterscotch pudding.
506. Passable transvestites.
507. Making a friend.
508. Clearing a bloody path through Walmart with a scimitar.
509. The KKK.
510. The Rapture.
511. Wifely duties.
512. Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot.
513. Lady Gaga.
514. Racism.
515. Immaculate conception.
516. Guys who don't call.
517. Finding Waldo.
518. Beating your wives.
519. Ghosts.
520. Seppuku.
521. Two midgets shitting into a bucket.
522. Raping and pillaging.
523. Getting abducted by Peter Pan.
524. Making the penises kiss.
525. A boo-boo.
526. Harry Potter erotica.
527. Tentacle porn.
528. Attitude.
529. Preteens.
530. Hot Pockets.
531. Tangled Slinkys.
532. Sniffing glue.
533. Booby-trapping the house to foil burglars.
534. A PowerPoint presentation.
535. The Donald Trump Seal of Approval.
536. A look-see.
537. Powerful thighs.
538. Another goddamn vampire movie.
539. A sassy black woman.
540. Sexting.
541. Spectacular abs.
542. A brain tumor.
543. All my friends dying.
544. Shaft.
545. Historical revisionism.
546. Grandpa's ashes.
547. Shutting the fuck up.
548. Centaurs.
549. Moral ambiguity.
550. The systematic destruction of an entire people and their way of life.
551. Balls.
552. Intimacy problems.
553. Bill Nye the Science Guy.
554. Mad hacky-sack skills.
555. The boners of the elderly.
556. A clandestine butt scratch.
557. Santa's heavy sack.
558. Friends who eat all the snacks.
559. Oompa-Loompas.
560. Quivering jowls.
561. Eugenics.
562. A balanced breakfast.
563. A Bop It.
564. Coughing into a vagina.
565. Dead babies.
566. New Age music.
567. Socks.
568. Eating an entire snowman.
569. Saxophone solos.
570. Half-assed foreplay.
571. Domino's Oreo Dessert Pizza.
572. My sex life.
573. Appreciative snapping.
574. Swiftly achieving orgasm.
575. One Ring to rule them all.
576. Concealing a boner.
577. The mixing of the races.
578. Pooping back and forth. Forever.
579. The Kool-Aid Man.
580. Sharing needles.
581. Catapults.
582. A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis.
583. Dwarf tossing.
584. Jew-fros.
585. The glass ceiling.
586. Bling.
587. Cockfights.
588. Riding off into the sunset.
589. A foul mouth.
590. Heartwarming orphans.
591. The folly of man.
592. My humps.
593. Keanu Reaves.
594. A mating display.
595. John Wilkes Booth.
596. Breaking out into song and dance.
597. Nothing.
598. Cheating in the Special Olympics.
599. Glenn Beck convulsively vomiting as a brood of crab spiders hatches in his brain and erupts from his tear ducts.
600. Porn stars.
601. Pistol-whipping a hostage.
602. My machete.
603. A sea of troubles.
604. Demonic possession.
605. Global warming.
606. Screaming like a maniac.
607. Waiting 'til marriage.
608. Scrotal frostbite.
609. Being awesome at sex.
610. Barack Obama.
611. Daddy's belt.
612. Women's suffrage.
613. Going around punching people.
614. Fetal alcohol syndrome.
615. The heart of a child.
616. A big hoopla about nothing.
617. Grandma.
618. Sneezing, farting, and coming at the same time.
619. Party poopers.
620. Scientology,
621. Tripping balls.
622. A sad handjob.
623. Cybernetic enhancements.
624. The harsh light of day.
625. Good grammar.
626. The Big Bang.
627. Subduing a grizzly bear and making her your wife.
628. An army of skeletons.
629. Having shotguns for legs.
630. Bullshit.
631. A gassy antelope.
632. Spring break!
633. The Little Engine That Could.
634. Viagra.
635. Dying alone and in pain.
636. Dental dams.
637. Chainsaws for hands.
638. Getting naked and watching Nickelodeon.
639. Cuddling.
640. Giving 110%.
641. A hot mess.
642. Third base.
643. Scrotum tickling.
644. Death by Steven Seagal.
645. Gandalf.
646. A man in yoga pants with a ponytail and feather earrings.
647. Vomiting mid-blowjob.
648. Hot Cheese.
649. Genetically engineered super-soldiers.
650. Horse meat.
651. Amputees.
652. An all-midget production of Shakespeare’s Richard III.
653. Living in a trashcan.
654. Roofies.
655. Figgy pudding.
656. A passionate Latino lover.
657. Ronald Reagan.
658. Existing.
659. Ripping into a man's chest and pulling out his still-beating heart.
660. My vagina.
661. Girls that always be textin’.
662. The new Radiohead album.
663. The milk man.
664. Lance Armstrong's missing testicle.
665. Poor people.
666. A nuanced critique.
667. Indescribable loneliness.
668. Blood farts.
669. The American Dream.
670. The Make-A-Wish foundation.
671. Lunchables.
672. Man meat.
673. Five-Dollar Footlongs.
674. Child abuse.
675. Heteronormativity.
676. Vietnam flashbacks.
677. Overcompensation.
678. Some douche with an acoustic guitar.
679. A bag of magic beans.
680. The mere concept of Applebee's.
681. Dead parents.
682. AIDS.
683. Unfathomable stupidity.
684. Rising from the grave.
685. Auschwitz.
686. Ghandi.
687. Child beauty pageants.
688. Toni Morrison's vagina.
689. The Three-Fifths Compromise.
690. Panda sex.
691. The moist, demanding chasm of his mouth.
692. Take-backsies.
693. Men.
694. Opposable thumbs.
695. A woman scorned.
696. Team-building exercises.
697. Passing a kidney stone.
698. Eating Tom Selleck’s mustache to gain his powers.
699. Taking off your shirt.
700. Queefing.
701. Sexy pillow fights.
702. Being a dick to children.
703. Swooping.
704. Chugging a lava lamp.
705. Jumping out at people.
706. Inappropriate yodeling.


I'll start with the first sentence.

User avatar
Lawrencelot
Posts: 23
Joined: Sun Oct 13, 2013 8:10 am UTC

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Lawrencelot » Mon Sep 21, 2015 3:25 pm UTC

"_______ are known for their ability to cause awkward silences."

User avatar
phillip1882
Posts: 145
Joined: Fri Jun 14, 2013 9:11 pm UTC
Location: geogia
Contact:

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby phillip1882 » Mon Sep 21, 2015 5:55 pm UTC

my numbers along with the phrase.
Spoiler:
11 - The forbidden fruit.
48 - A micropenis.
166 - Jewish fraternities.
347 - Surprise sex!
355 - Gay aliens.
384 - Yeast.
484 - An ether-soaked rag.
535 - The Donald Trump Seal of Approval.
552 - Intimacy problems.
664 - Lance Armstrong's missing testicle.

i'll try 355.
good luck have fun

username5243
Posts: 49
Joined: Thu Jun 25, 2015 10:43 am UTC
Location: None of your business

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby username5243 » Mon Sep 21, 2015 7:25 pm UTC

My numbers:

Spoiler:
Result of the throw of dice "10d706" :

157 + 327 + 348 + 403 + 562 + 517 + 101 + 301 + 423 + 52

It did say random...


I'll try 423.

Result:

Spoiler:
Elf cum are known for their ability to cause awkward silences.
This is a signature, in case you didn't notice.

User avatar
Vytron
Posts: 432
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:11 am UTC
Location: The Outside. I use She/He/Her/His/Him as gender neutral pronouns :P

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Vytron » Mon Sep 21, 2015 11:22 pm UTC

My numbers:
Spoiler:
1 562 - A balanced breakfast.
2 186 - Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king
3 665 - Poor people
4 400 - The Quesadilla Explosion Salad from Chili’s
5 593 - Keanu Reaves
6 292 - Making the penises kiss
7 538 - Another goddamn vampire movie
8 144 - Hot people
9 566 - New Age music
10 132 - A visually arresting turtleneck


665

Spoiler:
Poor people are known for their ability to cause awkward silences.

User avatar
Suzaku
Posts: 279
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:20 am UTC
Location: Tokyo, Japan

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Suzaku » Tue Sep 22, 2015 6:45 am UTC

Cards:
Spoiler:
5 - Waterboarding
32 - Dry heaving
94 - The homosexual agenda
115 - Nipple blades
210 - Ethnic cleansing
287 - An unstoppable wave of fire ants
371 - A Burmese tiger pit
437 - An ass disaster
469 - Famine
514 - Racism

I will go with 115, giving:
Spoiler:
"Nipple blades are known for their ability to cause awkward silences."
Pronouns: he/him/his > they/them/their >> it/it/its
Time Zone: JST (UTC+9)
─────────────────────────
Some guy on the Internet wrote:The thing about the inevitable, it has a bad habit of actually happening.

User avatar
Lawrencelot
Posts: 23
Joined: Sun Oct 13, 2013 8:10 am UTC

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Lawrencelot » Tue Sep 22, 2015 8:16 pm UTC

Gay aliens are known for their ability to cause awkward silences.
Elf cum are known for their ability to cause awkward silences.
Poor people are known for their ability to cause awkward silences.
Nipple blades are known for their ability to cause awkward silences.

I'll go with gay aliens.

Awesome points:
Lawrencelot: 0
phillip1882: 1
username5243: 0
Vytron: 0
Suzaku: 0

Next up: philip (because he's next, not because he won)

User avatar
Odilo
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Mar 11, 2012 4:21 am UTC

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Odilo » Tue Sep 22, 2015 8:29 pm UTC

Cards:
Spoiler:
378 - Multiple stab wounds
408 - Nicolas Cage
144 - Hot people
89 - Feeding Rosie O'Donnell
654 - Roofies
364 - The Hustle
503 - Alter boys
131 - Finger painting
230 - A Hungry-Man Frozen Christmas Dinner for One
537 - Powerful thighs
Odilo's List of Hatred:
1. Orangedragonfire - Cat-killer
2. Patzer - Traitor
3. Rupert Murdoch - cancelled Firefly

User avatar
Suzaku
Posts: 279
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:20 am UTC
Location: Tokyo, Japan

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Suzaku » Tue Sep 22, 2015 11:22 pm UTC

Should we be excluding cards other people have already drawn when drawing new cards?
Pronouns: he/him/his > they/them/their >> it/it/its
Time Zone: JST (UTC+9)
─────────────────────────
Some guy on the Internet wrote:The thing about the inevitable, it has a bad habit of actually happening.

User avatar
phillip1882
Posts: 145
Joined: Fri Jun 14, 2013 9:11 pm UTC
Location: geogia
Contact:

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby phillip1882 » Wed Sep 23, 2015 12:55 am UTC

i think not, that would make the game to complicated.

armored cars are necessary for carrying _____.
good luck have fun

User avatar
Vytron
Posts: 432
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:11 am UTC
Location: The Outside. I use She/He/Her/His/Him as gender neutral pronouns :P

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Vytron » Wed Sep 23, 2015 2:41 am UTC

My numbers (replenished used card)
Spoiler:
1 562 - A balanced breakfast.
2 186 - Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king
3 132 - A visually arresting turtleneck
4 400 - The Quesadilla Explosion Salad from Chili’s
5 593 - Keanu Reaves
6 292 - Making the penises kiss
7 538 - Another goddamn vampire movie
8 144 - Hot people
9 566 - New Age music
10 157 - Another shop of morphine


Going for... 400...

Outcome
Spoiler:
armored cars are necessary for carrying The Quesadilla Explosion Salad from Chili’s.

User avatar
Odilo
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Mar 11, 2012 4:21 am UTC

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Odilo » Wed Sep 23, 2015 2:50 am UTC

Cards:
Spoiler:
378 - Multiple stab wounds
408 - Nicolas Cage
144 - Hot people
89 - Feeding Rosie O'Donnell
654 - Roofies
364 - The Hustle
503 - Alter boys
131 - Finger painting
230 - A Hungry-Man Frozen Christmas Dinner for One
660 - My vagina


Let's go with 537.
Spoiler:
Armored cars are necessary for carrying powerful thighs.
Odilo's List of Hatred:
1. Orangedragonfire - Cat-killer
2. Patzer - Traitor
3. Rupert Murdoch - cancelled Firefly

User avatar
Suzaku
Posts: 279
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:20 am UTC
Location: Tokyo, Japan

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Suzaku » Wed Sep 23, 2015 3:17 am UTC

Odilo, you seem to have played a card you didn't list yourself as holding.

My Cards:
Spoiler:
5 - Waterboarding
32 - Dry heaving
94 - The homosexual agenda
210 - Ethnic cleansing
287 - An unstoppable wave of fire ants
300 - Intelligent Design
371 - A Burmese tiger pit
437 - An ass disaster
469 - Famine
514 - Racism

I will go with 287, giving:
Spoiler:
"Armored cars are necessary for carrying an unstoppable wave of fire ants."
Pronouns: he/him/his > they/them/their >> it/it/its
Time Zone: JST (UTC+9)
─────────────────────────
Some guy on the Internet wrote:The thing about the inevitable, it has a bad habit of actually happening.

User avatar
Lawrencelot
Posts: 23
Joined: Sun Oct 13, 2013 8:10 am UTC

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Lawrencelot » Wed Sep 23, 2015 7:21 am UTC

Suzaku wrote:Should we be excluding cards other people have already drawn when drawing new cards?

I don't think so, but to prevent ties I say we should be excluding cards other people have picked in the same turn.

My cards:
Spoiler:
159: 8 oz. of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin.
247: That ass.
334: Black people.
335: A Super Soaker full of cat pee.
451: Flash flooding.
456: Soiling oneself.
491: Not having sex.
626: The Big Bang.
658: Existing.
660: My vagina.


Choosing 159:
Spoiler:
Armored cars are necessary for carrying 8 oz. of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin.

User avatar
Odilo
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Mar 11, 2012 4:21 am UTC

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Odilo » Thu Sep 24, 2015 2:06 am UTC

Suzaku wrote:Odilo, you seem to have played a card you didn't list yourself as holding.


The cards list in that post is the updated list after replacing the card I played. The first card list I posted included the card I played.
Odilo's List of Hatred:
1. Orangedragonfire - Cat-killer
2. Patzer - Traitor
3. Rupert Murdoch - cancelled Firefly

User avatar
Suzaku
Posts: 279
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:20 am UTC
Location: Tokyo, Japan

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Suzaku » Thu Sep 24, 2015 2:07 am UTC

Ahh, I missed that. My bad.
Pronouns: he/him/his > they/them/their >> it/it/its
Time Zone: JST (UTC+9)
─────────────────────────
Some guy on the Internet wrote:The thing about the inevitable, it has a bad habit of actually happening.

User avatar
phillip1882
Posts: 145
Joined: Fri Jun 14, 2013 9:11 pm UTC
Location: geogia
Contact:

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby phillip1882 » Thu Sep 24, 2015 3:39 pm UTC

results:
Armored cars are necessary for carrying 8 oz. of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin.
Armored cars are necessary for carrying an unstoppable wave of fire ants. <- winner
armored cars are necessary for carrying The Quesadilla Explosion Salad from Chili’s.
Armored cars are necessary for carrying powerful thighs.

awesome points:
Lawrencelot: 0
phillip1882: 1
username5243: 0
Vytron: 0
Suzaku: 1
odilio: 0

next: username5243
good luck have fun

User avatar
Odilo
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Mar 11, 2012 4:21 am UTC

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Odilo » Sat Sep 26, 2015 8:14 pm UTC

How long should we wait before we go to the next person's turn?
Odilo's List of Hatred:
1. Orangedragonfire - Cat-killer
2. Patzer - Traitor
3. Rupert Murdoch - cancelled Firefly

User avatar
Vytron
Posts: 432
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:11 am UTC
Location: The Outside. I use She/He/Her/His/Him as gender neutral pronouns :P

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Vytron » Sat Sep 26, 2015 10:25 pm UTC

Someone should send a reminder PM to username5243...

User avatar
Lawrencelot
Posts: 23
Joined: Sun Oct 13, 2013 8:10 am UTC

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Lawrencelot » Sun Sep 27, 2015 4:14 pm UTC

PM sent

username5243
Posts: 49
Joined: Thu Jun 25, 2015 10:43 am UTC
Location: None of your business

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby username5243 » Sun Sep 27, 2015 6:53 pm UTC

Oh, I totally forgot about this game, with the new mafia game and stuff...

So, what do I do now? Do I keep the numbers from last round?
This is a signature, in case you didn't notice.

User avatar
Suzaku
Posts: 279
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:20 am UTC
Location: Tokyo, Japan

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Suzaku » Mon Sep 28, 2015 12:37 am UTC

You post a new sentence (or question) for everyone else to respond to.
You will keep your cards, but not draw or use one this round.
Pronouns: he/him/his > they/them/their >> it/it/its
Time Zone: JST (UTC+9)
─────────────────────────
Some guy on the Internet wrote:The thing about the inevitable, it has a bad habit of actually happening.

username5243
Posts: 49
Joined: Thu Jun 25, 2015 10:43 am UTC
Location: None of your business

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby username5243 » Mon Sep 28, 2015 8:05 pm UTC

Ah.

I want to get _____ for my birthday.
This is a signature, in case you didn't notice.

User avatar
Vytron
Posts: 432
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:11 am UTC
Location: The Outside. I use She/He/Her/His/Him as gender neutral pronouns :P

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Vytron » Tue Sep 29, 2015 4:52 am UTC

My numbers (replenished used card)
Spoiler:
1 562 - A balanced breakfast.
2 186 - Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king
3 132 - A visually arresting turtleneck
4 454 - The invisible hand
5 593 - Keanu Reaves
6 292 - Making the penises kiss
7 538 - Another goddamn vampire movie
8 144 - Hot people
9 566 - New Age music
10 157 - Another shop of morphine


I guess 593 works:
Spoiler:
I want to get Keanu Reaves for my birthday

User avatar
Suzaku
Posts: 279
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:20 am UTC
Location: Tokyo, Japan

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Suzaku » Tue Sep 29, 2015 5:24 am UTC

My Cards:
Spoiler:
5 - Waterboarding
32 - Dry heaving
94 - The homosexual agenda
150 - A really cool hat
210 - Ethnic cleansing
300 - Intelligent Design
371 - A Burmese tiger pit
437 - An ass disaster
469 - Famine
514 - Racism

I will go with 371, giving:
Spoiler:
"I want to get a Burmese tiger pit for my birthday."
Pronouns: he/him/his > they/them/their >> it/it/its
Time Zone: JST (UTC+9)
─────────────────────────
Some guy on the Internet wrote:The thing about the inevitable, it has a bad habit of actually happening.

User avatar
Odilo
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Mar 11, 2012 4:21 am UTC

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Odilo » Tue Sep 29, 2015 5:59 am UTC

Cards:
Spoiler:
378 - Multiple stab wounds
144 - Hot people
89 - Feeding Rosie O'Donnell
654 - Roofies
364 - The Hustle
503 - Alter boys
131 - Finger painting
230 - A Hungry-Man Frozen Christmas Dinner for One
660 - My vagina
512 - Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot


I'll go with 408.
Spoiler:
I want to get Nicolas Cage for my birthday.
Odilo's List of Hatred:
1. Orangedragonfire - Cat-killer
2. Patzer - Traitor
3. Rupert Murdoch - cancelled Firefly

User avatar
Lawrencelot
Posts: 23
Joined: Sun Oct 13, 2013 8:10 am UTC

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Lawrencelot » Tue Sep 29, 2015 7:46 am UTC

My cards:
Spoiler:
247: That ass.
334: Black people.
335: A Super Soaker full of cat pee.
451: Flash flooding.
456: Soiling oneself.
491: Not having sex.
583: Dwarf tossing.
626: The Big Bang.
658: Existing.
660: My vagina.


Choosing 335:
Spoiler:
I want to get a Super Soaker full of cat pee for my birthday.

User avatar
phillip1882
Posts: 145
Joined: Fri Jun 14, 2013 9:11 pm UTC
Location: geogia
Contact:

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby phillip1882 » Tue Sep 29, 2015 8:16 pm UTC

cards:
Spoiler:
11 - The forbidden fruit.
48 - A micropenis.
99 - Michael Jackson.
166 - Jewish fraternities.
347 - Surprise sex!
384 - Yeast.
484 - An ether-soaked rag.
535 - The Donald Trump Seal of Approval.
552 - Intimacy problems.
664 - Lance Armstrong's missing testicle.

selected phrase, 664:
Spoiler:
i want to get Lance Armstrong's missing testicle for my birthday.
good luck have fun

User avatar
phillip1882
Posts: 145
Joined: Fri Jun 14, 2013 9:11 pm UTC
Location: geogia
Contact:

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby phillip1882 » Sun Oct 04, 2015 12:40 pm UTC

let's see the results please.
good luck have fun

User avatar
Lawrencelot
Posts: 23
Joined: Sun Oct 13, 2013 8:10 am UTC

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Lawrencelot » Fri Oct 23, 2015 8:47 pm UTC

I'll pick one instead of username:

I want to get Keanu Reaves for my birthday <-- winner!
I want to get a Burmese tiger pit for my birthday.
I want to get Nicolas Cage for my birthday.
I want to get a Super Soaker full of cat pee for my birthday.
i want to get Lance Armstrong's missing testicle for my birthday.

awesome points:
Lawrencelot: 0
phillip1882: 1
username5243: 0
Vytron: 1
Suzaku: 1
odilio: 0

next: Vytron


User avatar
Vytron
Posts: 432
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:11 am UTC
Location: The Outside. I use She/He/Her/His/Him as gender neutral pronouns :P

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Vytron » Fri Oct 23, 2015 11:02 pm UTC

"She showed me her _______. And it was the most beautiful _______ I've ever seen."

User avatar
phillip1882
Posts: 145
Joined: Fri Jun 14, 2013 9:11 pm UTC
Location: geogia
Contact:

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby phillip1882 » Sun Oct 25, 2015 1:48 pm UTC

Spoiler:
11 - The forbidden fruit.
48 - A micropenis.
99 - Michael Jackson.
166 - Jewish fraternities.
347 - Surprise sex!
384 - Yeast.
484 - An ether-soaked rag.
510. The Rapture.
535 - The Donald Trump Seal of Approval.
552 - Intimacy problems.


ill select 347.
Spoiler:
she showed me her surprise sex! and it was the most beautiful surprise sex i've ever seen.
good luck have fun

User avatar
Lawrencelot
Posts: 23
Joined: Sun Oct 13, 2013 8:10 am UTC

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Lawrencelot » Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:56 am UTC

My cards:
Spoiler:
247: That ass.
318. Getting really high.
334: Black people.
451: Flash flooding.
456: Soiling oneself.
491: Not having sex.
583: Dwarf tossing.
626: The Big Bang.
658: Existing.
660: My vagina.


Choosing 583:
Spoiler:
"She showed me her dwarf tossing. And it was the most beautiful dwarf tossing I've ever seen."

User avatar
Freddino18
[Title Not Found]
Posts: 31
Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2016 9:40 pm UTC
Location: Disappeared after investigating titles

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Freddino18 » Thu Apr 27, 2017 8:08 pm UTC

Drawing cards.

My cards:
Spoiler:
350. The Google.
329. The Jews.
44. A botched circumcision.
696. Team-building exercises.
235. Catastrophic Urethral Trauma.
651. Amputees.
300. Intelligent design.
377. Homeless people.
13. Pretending to be happy.
162. A beached whale.


Choosing 651:
Spoiler:
"She showed me her Amputees. And they were the most beautiful Amputees I've ever seen."


Edit: Oops, phillip already has one of those. Repicking that one.
Image
Blenders!
GENERATION 23: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
Shriekin' Criminal: Wu Tang, Voodoo Foote: pirate, Amos Quirell: wizard, Sun-Ray Fool: blues, Thomaz Hettkamp: Nazi, farty monkey snatcher, phire AvAtAr: 1337 h4x0r

User avatar
Freddino18
[Title Not Found]
Posts: 31
Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2016 9:40 pm UTC
Location: Disappeared after investigating titles

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Freddino18 » Tue May 02, 2017 8:26 pm UTC

Bunp
Image
Blenders!
GENERATION 23: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
Shriekin' Criminal: Wu Tang, Voodoo Foote: pirate, Amos Quirell: wizard, Sun-Ray Fool: blues, Thomaz Hettkamp: Nazi, farty monkey snatcher, phire AvAtAr: 1337 h4x0r

User avatar
Freddino18
[Title Not Found]
Posts: 31
Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2016 9:40 pm UTC
Location: Disappeared after investigating titles

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Freddino18 » Thu May 04, 2017 7:40 pm UTC

Angry bunp.
Image
Blenders!
GENERATION 23: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
Shriekin' Criminal: Wu Tang, Voodoo Foote: pirate, Amos Quirell: wizard, Sun-Ray Fool: blues, Thomaz Hettkamp: Nazi, farty monkey snatcher, phire AvAtAr: 1337 h4x0r

User avatar
Freddino18
[Title Not Found]
Posts: 31
Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2016 9:40 pm UTC
Location: Disappeared after investigating titles

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Freddino18 » Wed May 10, 2017 7:43 pm UTC

FuriousBumpstroyer
Image
Blenders!
GENERATION 23: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
Shriekin' Criminal: Wu Tang, Voodoo Foote: pirate, Amos Quirell: wizard, Sun-Ray Fool: blues, Thomaz Hettkamp: Nazi, farty monkey snatcher, phire AvAtAr: 1337 h4x0r

User avatar
Freddino18
[Title Not Found]
Posts: 31
Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2016 9:40 pm UTC
Location: Disappeared after investigating titles

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Freddino18 » Mon Apr 23, 2018 11:22 pm UTC

Yet more Bump.
Image
Blenders!
GENERATION 23: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
Shriekin' Criminal: Wu Tang, Voodoo Foote: pirate, Amos Quirell: wizard, Sun-Ray Fool: blues, Thomaz Hettkamp: Nazi, farty monkey snatcher, phire AvAtAr: 1337 h4x0r

User avatar
Freddino18
[Title Not Found]
Posts: 31
Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2016 9:40 pm UTC
Location: Disappeared after investigating titles

Re: Cards against Humanity - Join at any time!

Postby Freddino18 » Tue Jun 26, 2018 10:13 am UTC

Vytron wrote:"She showed me her _______. And it was the most beautiful _______ I've ever seen."

Vy, can you please choose this round's winner?
Image
Blenders!
GENERATION 23: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
Shriekin' Criminal: Wu Tang, Voodoo Foote: pirate, Amos Quirell: wizard, Sun-Ray Fool: blues, Thomaz Hettkamp: Nazi, farty monkey snatcher, phire AvAtAr: 1337 h4x0r


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