Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

For all your silly time-killing forum games.

Moderators: jestingrabbit, Moderators General, Prelates

User avatar
ucim
Posts: 5634
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2012 3:23 pm UTC
Location: The One True Thread

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby ucim » Sat Jun 10, 2017 2:53 pm UTC

Start drinking orange juice instead.

My petty problems are too trivial to be solved in an entertaining way here.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

User avatar
SirGabriel
Posts: 40
Joined: Wed Jul 16, 2014 11:54 pm UTC

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby SirGabriel » Sat Jun 10, 2017 4:12 pm UTC

Make something up.

I need to order something online, but I'm moving next week so I don't know which house to use as the shipping address.

User avatar
Tillian
NotNotNotTillian
Posts: 71
Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 2:47 pm UTC
Location: Set₁

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby Tillian » Sat Jun 10, 2017 7:35 pm UTC

I had that same problem last year. Not sure what I did: I remember bringing the package home to my old apartment, because it was all messy and filled with half-filled boxes. But when I logged into the site I ordered from just days ago, it listed my new address. Both on the current address and when I looked at the address of the order. So I guess what I'm saying is: Order it from a store that magically knows where you are at the time of delivery. Or just have them deliver it to your job, 'cause they do that if you ask them.

I like eating lots of raw ginger and ginger spiced drinks and so on, but I think that might be part of what's causing my heartburn.
xkcd forum gamers' Discord chat: https://discord.gg/Q7QM5sH
heuristically_alone wrote:Tillian you are always in every single one of dreams,
usually driving an ice cream truck.
NOTE: This is not me. That's another guy.

User avatar
ucim
Posts: 5634
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2012 3:23 pm UTC
Location: The One True Thread

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby ucim » Mon Jun 12, 2017 2:05 pm UTC

Add sriracha sauce. The ginger will no longer be what causes your heartburn.

I ate too much.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

User avatar
Lavender Manna
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri May 12, 2017 8:05 pm UTC
Location: ghost house
Contact:

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby Lavender Manna » Thu Jun 15, 2017 7:50 am UTC

Have a nice lie down and think about what you've done until you learn a lesson

m legy wont stop jiggling

User avatar
Tillian
NotNotNotTillian
Posts: 71
Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 2:47 pm UTC
Location: Set₁

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby Tillian » Thu Jun 15, 2017 12:14 pm UTC

Put your foot on a bass drum pedal and jam it out.

They are building a parking lot right outside my window, and not a big lawn as I had originally assumed.
xkcd forum gamers' Discord chat: https://discord.gg/Q7QM5sH
heuristically_alone wrote:Tillian you are always in every single one of dreams,
usually driving an ice cream truck.
NOTE: This is not me. That's another guy.

User avatar
Lavender Manna
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri May 12, 2017 8:05 pm UTC
Location: ghost house
Contact:

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby Lavender Manna » Thu Jun 15, 2017 5:54 pm UTC

Sneak onto the construction site at night and plant grass!

getting out of bed is too difficult

User avatar
eran_rathan
Mostly Wrong
Posts: 1707
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2010 2:36 pm UTC
Location: disoriented

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby eran_rathan » Thu Jun 15, 2017 8:36 pm UTC

hire a life coach to scream at you to wake up.

my phone's battery dies too fast.
"Trying to build a proper foundation for knowledge is blippery."
"Squirrels are crazy enough to be test pilots."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
nɒʜƚɒɿ_nɒɿɘ

User avatar
somitomi
Posts: 459
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:21 pm UTC
Location: can be found in Hungary
Contact:

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby somitomi » Fri Jun 16, 2017 10:36 am UTC

Switch to an old Nokia, so the lack of internet stops you from using it too much.

My computer doesn't display some charatcers properly
"It's like he's his own alt account. Saves all the logging in and out."/poxic
they/them/theirs = he/him/his ❖ If you want to use something else out of dadaist spite, I won't mind.
✆ Hello? This is Forum Games Discord, what is your emergency?

User avatar
Tillian
NotNotNotTillian
Posts: 71
Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 2:47 pm UTC
Location: Set₁

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby Tillian » Fri Jun 16, 2017 10:47 pm UTC

Install the fonts-dejavu package:

Code: Select all

$ sudo apt-get install fonts-dejavu

Optionally (or just to be sure), rebuild your font-cache:

Code: Select all

$ sudo fc-cache -fv

Then restart any programs to make them recognize the new fonts.

I've been away all day and now the backlog in the Discord is huge.
xkcd forum gamers' Discord chat: https://discord.gg/Q7QM5sH
heuristically_alone wrote:Tillian you are always in every single one of dreams,
usually driving an ice cream truck.
NOTE: This is not me. That's another guy.

User avatar
Lavender Manna
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri May 12, 2017 8:05 pm UTC
Location: ghost house
Contact:

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby Lavender Manna » Sat Jun 17, 2017 5:34 am UTC

That doesn't sound like a problem at all! Happy reading :D (alternatively, just do what I do and selectively ignore conversations that are too long).

My nose is stuffy :(

User avatar
ucim
Posts: 5634
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2012 3:23 pm UTC
Location: The One True Thread

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby ucim » Sat Jun 17, 2017 1:45 pm UTC

Use a 3/16 inch drill bit.

I have a dead car in my driveway.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

User avatar
Tillian
NotNotNotTillian
Posts: 71
Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 2:47 pm UTC
Location: Set₁

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby Tillian » Sat Jun 17, 2017 1:50 pm UTC

I read that as "dead cat" and got really worried. Reading it again was a relief. Try reading your own problem as something other than "dead car" and your problem might seem insignificant too.

I sleep too much because I fall asleep on my couch every night and spend my mornings in the same position, so I fall asleep again around noon.
xkcd forum gamers' Discord chat: https://discord.gg/Q7QM5sH
heuristically_alone wrote:Tillian you are always in every single one of dreams,
usually driving an ice cream truck.
NOTE: This is not me. That's another guy.

Schrödinger's Wolves
Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2017 3:28 am UTC

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby Schrödinger's Wolves » Thu Jun 29, 2017 6:57 pm UTC

Put an alarm clock on the other side of the room so you have to get up.

I get too little sleep because I browse this forum too much.

User avatar
somitomi
Posts: 459
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:21 pm UTC
Location: can be found in Hungary
Contact:

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby somitomi » Thu Jun 29, 2017 7:26 pm UTC

Sleep on the couch and browse the forum from the couch as well.

I have four cameras but no idea what to photograph
"It's like he's his own alt account. Saves all the logging in and out."/poxic
they/them/theirs = he/him/his ❖ If you want to use something else out of dadaist spite, I won't mind.
✆ Hello? This is Forum Games Discord, what is your emergency?

User avatar
chridd
Has a vermicelli title
Posts: 779
Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:07 am UTC
Location: ...Earth, I guess?
Contact:

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby chridd » Thu Jun 29, 2017 9:22 pm UTC

Photograph the cameras with the other cameras.

My body's sleep schedule is on the wrong time zone.
~ chri d. d. /tʃɹɪ.di.di/ (Phonotactics, schmphonotactics) · they (for now, at least) · Forum game scores
mittfh wrote:I wish this post was very quotable...
flicky1991 wrote:In both cases the quote is "I'm being quoted too much!"

User avatar
ucim
Posts: 5634
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2012 3:23 pm UTC
Location: The One True Thread

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby ucim » Thu Jun 29, 2017 11:13 pm UTC

Move to that time zone.

I haven't made plans to see the solar eclipse this August.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

User avatar
slinches
Slinches get Stinches
Posts: 976
Joined: Tue Mar 26, 2013 4:23 am UTC

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby slinches » Thu Jun 29, 2017 11:25 pm UTC

Easy, just wait until an eclipse comes to you.

My truck won't run the emissions checks because it's too hot outside.

User avatar
Tillian
NotNotNotTillian
Posts: 71
Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 2:47 pm UTC
Location: Set₁

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby Tillian » Fri Jun 30, 2017 12:36 am UTC

Sell the truck and buy a train.

It feels like I don't have any problems at all right now and it makes me feel guilty.
xkcd forum gamers' Discord chat: https://discord.gg/Q7QM5sH
heuristically_alone wrote:Tillian you are always in every single one of dreams,
usually driving an ice cream truck.
NOTE: This is not me. That's another guy.

Schrödinger's Wolves
Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2017 3:28 am UTC

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby Schrödinger's Wolves » Fri Jun 30, 2017 3:12 am UTC

Get a GF. Then a b**** is one.

I can't understand anything on the "My number is bigger" thread.

User avatar
ucim
Posts: 5634
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2012 3:23 pm UTC
Location: The One True Thread

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby ucim » Sat Jul 01, 2017 5:38 pm UTC

Pretend each symbol (except the last) is defined as "bigger than", and the last symbol means "the number in the previous post".

edit: nobody remembers the petty problem I just edited over.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

User avatar
somitomi
Posts: 459
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:21 pm UTC
Location: can be found in Hungary
Contact:

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby somitomi » Mon Aug 14, 2017 10:32 pm UTC

Forget about it then, things you don't remember can't bother you.

The two things I need to do tomorrow are trying to occupy the same slot in my schedule.
"It's like he's his own alt account. Saves all the logging in and out."/poxic
they/them/theirs = he/him/his ❖ If you want to use something else out of dadaist spite, I won't mind.
✆ Hello? This is Forum Games Discord, what is your emergency?

User avatar
chridd
Has a vermicelli title
Posts: 779
Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:07 am UTC
Location: ...Earth, I guess?
Contact:

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby chridd » Tue Aug 15, 2017 9:19 am UTC

Get a time turner, like in Harry Potter.

My phone keyboard is hard to type on, and my computer keyboard is a whole two inches away (way too far).
~ chri d. d. /tʃɹɪ.di.di/ (Phonotactics, schmphonotactics) · they (for now, at least) · Forum game scores
mittfh wrote:I wish this post was very quotable...
flicky1991 wrote:In both cases the quote is "I'm being quoted too much!"

User avatar
somitomi
Posts: 459
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:21 pm UTC
Location: can be found in Hungary
Contact:

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby somitomi » Tue Aug 15, 2017 7:09 pm UTC

Toss your phone on a suitable surface (e.g. a bed) about a meter away. Now reaching the computer keyboard requires significantly smaller effort than retrieving your phone, so it will seem like the lazy option.

I need some PNP transistors, but I only have NPN ones.
"It's like he's his own alt account. Saves all the logging in and out."/poxic
they/them/theirs = he/him/his ❖ If you want to use something else out of dadaist spite, I won't mind.
✆ Hello? This is Forum Games Discord, what is your emergency?

User avatar
Tillian
NotNotNotTillian
Posts: 71
Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 2:47 pm UTC
Location: Set₁

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby Tillian » Wed Aug 16, 2017 3:22 am UTC

Cut it down the middle through the P part and then reassemble the parts the other way around.

I'm a long way from home and waiting for the first bus of the day to arrive.
xkcd forum gamers' Discord chat: https://discord.gg/Q7QM5sH
heuristically_alone wrote:Tillian you are always in every single one of dreams,
usually driving an ice cream truck.
NOTE: This is not me. That's another guy.

User avatar
Lavender Manna
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri May 12, 2017 8:05 pm UTC
Location: ghost house
Contact:

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby Lavender Manna » Thu Aug 17, 2017 9:11 am UTC

Easy! It's been six hours! either the bus arrived, or you have bigger problems!

I want my legs to be less cold but I'm not willing to get out of my chair so there's nothing I can do

User avatar
somitomi
Posts: 459
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:21 pm UTC
Location: can be found in Hungary
Contact:

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby somitomi » Thu Aug 17, 2017 9:53 am UTC

Cause of cosfunion.
"It's like he's his own alt account. Saves all the logging in and out."/poxic
they/them/theirs = he/him/his ❖ If you want to use something else out of dadaist spite, I won't mind.
✆ Hello? This is Forum Games Discord, what is your emergency?

User avatar
Tillian
NotNotNotTillian
Posts: 71
Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 2:47 pm UTC
Location: Set₁

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby Tillian » Thu Aug 17, 2017 11:06 pm UTC

I don't understand your post, but I like it, so I consider it a solved problem.

I don't understand somi's post.
xkcd forum gamers' Discord chat: https://discord.gg/Q7QM5sH
heuristically_alone wrote:Tillian you are always in every single one of dreams,
usually driving an ice cream truck.
NOTE: This is not me. That's another guy.

User avatar
heuristically_alone
Posts: 169
Joined: Sat Apr 09, 2016 7:43 pm UTC
Location: 37.2368078 and -115.80341870000001

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby heuristically_alone » Thu Aug 17, 2017 11:19 pm UTC

If you understood it, you'd be a sadder person.

My phone battery isn't what it used to be.
Bow gifted by adnapemit.

Beatrice wrote:The world is quiet here.

Tillian wrote:sig'd

User avatar
Tillian
NotNotNotTillian
Posts: 71
Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 2:47 pm UTC
Location: Set₁

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby Tillian » Thu Aug 17, 2017 11:24 pm UTC

Adjust your amount of phone usage to match the new capacity of the battery, so you can't tell the difference, relatively speaking.

I need a shower, but I should probably go to bed right away.
xkcd forum gamers' Discord chat: https://discord.gg/Q7QM5sH
heuristically_alone wrote:Tillian you are always in every single one of dreams,
usually driving an ice cream truck.
NOTE: This is not me. That's another guy.

User avatar
Peaceful Whale
Posts: 63
Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2017 10:38 pm UTC
Location: Northern Virginia

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby Peaceful Whale » Thu Aug 17, 2017 11:53 pm UTC

Sleep in the shower! What could go wrong?

I need a case for my retro pi setup, and our 3D printer doesn't have any more plastic.
Peaceful Whale wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:Spell it out for me.
I-T

User avatar
ucim
Posts: 5634
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2012 3:23 pm UTC
Location: The One True Thread

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby ucim » Fri Aug 18, 2017 2:56 am UTC

Make one the old fashioned way - in a machine shop.

I want to see the solar eclipse, and don't know where the weather will be good enough.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

User avatar
flicky1991
Like in Cinderella?
Posts: 632
Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2011 3:36 pm UTC
Location: London

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby flicky1991 » Fri Aug 18, 2017 6:57 am UTC

Look it up.

I forget about this thread.
any pronouns (mainly she/he)
----
Avatar from ArguablyDerek
----
Discord for Forum Games posters
(Please let me know if the link doesn't work)
Spoiler:
Weeks wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:Maybe I am a female Justin Bieber!
Justine Bieber. Alternatively, Miley Cyrus.

User avatar
somitomi
Posts: 459
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:21 pm UTC
Location: can be found in Hungary
Contact:

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby somitomi » Fri Aug 18, 2017 8:05 am UTC

flicky1991 wrote:I forget about this thread.

Here, I quoted you to give you a notification.
somitomi wrote:Cause of cosfunion.

What the heck? How did this end up here? I definitely didn't want to post it here, what is it even doing here?

I have no clue how this ended up here.
"It's like he's his own alt account. Saves all the logging in and out."/poxic
they/them/theirs = he/him/his ❖ If you want to use something else out of dadaist spite, I won't mind.
✆ Hello? This is Forum Games Discord, what is your emergency?

User avatar
phillip1882
Posts: 95
Joined: Fri Jun 14, 2013 9:11 pm UTC
Location: geogia
Contact:

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby phillip1882 » Fri Aug 18, 2017 12:05 pm UTC

someone posted it. now you know.

i have weird dreams when i sleep, but need to sleep.
bitcoin address: 1B73mjAguoK9ATwVjGcy2LasyfG9xtLGsq

User avatar
flicky1991
Like in Cinderella?
Posts: 632
Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2011 3:36 pm UTC
Location: London

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby flicky1991 » Fri Aug 18, 2017 12:08 pm UTC

Embrace the weirdness.

I get hungry too easily.
any pronouns (mainly she/he)
----
Avatar from ArguablyDerek
----
Discord for Forum Games posters
(Please let me know if the link doesn't work)
Spoiler:
Weeks wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:Maybe I am a female Justin Bieber!
Justine Bieber. Alternatively, Miley Cyrus.

User avatar
ucim
Posts: 5634
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2012 3:23 pm UTC
Location: The One True Thread

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby ucim » Fri Aug 18, 2017 2:15 pm UTC

Do stuff. It will take your mind off your hunger.

My old car is in the way, and it won't start.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

User avatar
SirGabriel
Posts: 40
Joined: Wed Jul 16, 2014 11:54 pm UTC

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby SirGabriel » Fri Aug 18, 2017 2:39 pm UTC

You can either fix the starter, hire a tow truck to move it out of your way, or use power tools to break it into small enough pieces that you can move it yourself.

I can't post the petty problem I want to post because it involves confidential information.

User avatar
Lavender Manna
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri May 12, 2017 8:05 pm UTC
Location: ghost house
Contact:

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby Lavender Manna » Sat Aug 19, 2017 11:15 pm UTC

obfuscate and vagueify until it is internet appropriate!

I'm concerned that vagueify is not a real word

User avatar
chridd
Has a vermicelli title
Posts: 779
Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:07 am UTC
Location: ...Earth, I guess?
Contact:

Re: Solve the Previous Poster's Petty Problems

Postby chridd » Sun Aug 20, 2017 8:06 am UTC

https://en.wiktionary.org/w/index.php?title=vagueify&action=edit&redlink=1

I'm afraid that me posting that link there will cause someone to actually create an entry that shouldn't be created.
~ chri d. d. /tʃɹɪ.di.di/ (Phonotactics, schmphonotactics) · they (for now, at least) · Forum game scores
mittfh wrote:I wish this post was very quotable...
flicky1991 wrote:In both cases the quote is "I'm being quoted too much!"


Return to “Forum Games”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: chridd, ucim and 18 guests