Let's Play PUNCHLINE (warning: many joke spoilers)

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xkcd_n00bz
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Let's Play PUNCHLINE (warning: many joke spoilers)

Postby xkcd_n00bz » Thu Sep 27, 2007 2:41 am UTC

Rules:

1. Post the beginning of a joke that matches the the punchline previously posted. Then, post a new punchline.

2. Must be the commonly accepted joke beginning. If there is another joke beginning, or you create your own which also works with the given punchline, the humor quotient must be equal to or greater than the expected joke.

3. If creating a new joke or mismatching a joke beginning and punchline, it must still be commonly accepted as funny (and not nonsense funny) outside the context of this thread.

I'll start with a softball:

The guy comes back on the line and says "OK, I'm sure he's dead. Now what?"
I am +20 dB hot.

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SecondTalon
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Postby SecondTalon » Thu Sep 27, 2007 2:47 am UTC

Though this belongs in Forum Games....

Two guys are hunting, and one accidentally shoots his friend. Calling 911, he yells "I think I killed my friend!"
The operator responds "Calm down, sir.. first, make sure that he's dead and.."
The operator is interrupted by the loud report of a gunshot.






Punchline - Better Nate than Lever!
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

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Victorkm
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Postby Victorkm » Thu Sep 27, 2007 2:52 am UTC

This story has to do with a young man who was deathly afraid of snakes. It is difficult to emphasize enough his horrible snake phobia. The most dangerous, deadly serpent in his corner of the world was a snake called Nathan. To make a short story longer, Nate the Snake was without a doubt the worst, the very worst, a creature of the young man's nightmares.

To carry the plot even further, we have to talk about the evil space aliens who abducted our young man and Nate the Snake. As such creatures often do, they gave the young man one of those irreconcilable and unavoidable choices in which, whatever you do, you cannot win. Behind one door was a large lever that when pulled would bring about the end of the world. Behind the other, of course, was Nate.

The end of the world, or a meeting with his nemesis, Nathan? Which would it be? Finally, the young man remembered the maxim that saved all the rest of us:

Punchline: Why the hell didn't you tell me there weren't any bullets in the gun?! I had to beat him to death with the table!

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Sorcyress
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Postby Sorcyress » Thu Sep 27, 2007 4:24 am UTC

So, the FBI is interviewing young women to test their loyalty and ability to follow orders without question. As a test they give the woman a gun and sends her into a room where she is to shoot her husband. The first woman is a newlywed, she goes in, and bursts out of the room within minutes, sobbing, the gun untouched. The second woman has been married for five years, she managed to cock and aim the gun, but she just couldn't bring herself to kill her husband. The third woman had been married to her husband for 20 years. She went in, and there was a lot of noise. Finally, she stumbled out of the room, covered in blood, and said...



It's logical --a nun with her skirts up runs a lot faster then a man with his pants down.

~Sor
MOOP!

EDIT: Did I kill the thread with a joke that's too obscure? How about

"I don't have a ferarri in my garage!"

Bloodanna
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Re: Let's Play PUNCHLINE (warning: many joke spoilers)

Postby Bloodanna » Fri Sep 28, 2007 3:58 am UTC

Two nun were out walking one of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It ' s logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too. So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM : Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

Punchline: Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

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Rodan
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Re: Let's Play PUNCHLINE (warning: many joke spoilers)

Postby Rodan » Sun Sep 30, 2007 12:33 am UTC

I don't know the joke, but since when are nuns Vulcans?


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