I just came back from 1912....

For all your silly time-killing forum games.

Moderators: jestingrabbit, Moderators General, Prelates

User avatar
Stief
Posts: 501
Joined: Wed Jul 04, 2007 12:43 am UTC
Location: UK
Contact:

I just came back from 1912....

Postby Stief » Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:09 am UTC

[inspired by this thread. Basically, we all have the ability to time travel and alter events, but in order for there to be harmony, they can't stay like that...it'll probably make more sense if you read the thread...anyways, I'll start :D]
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hey guys, just came back from 1912 and managed to divert the Titanic's course away from those dreaded icebergs :D The captain seemed a little confused as to why I was there, but we missed 'em, and that's that :mrgreen: Champagne and caviar was had when we docked at New York harbour :D I didn't see rose or Jack at all :\ slightly disappointing...
bbctol wrote:There is a term for what you have created. I believe it is "Dude- that shit is EPIC."

Teknobo wrote:Seriously, try flying down the street in Need for Speed while listening to the bicycle theme from Pokémon. It's beyond fantastic.

User avatar
Neuman
Posts: 239
Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2007 4:37 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby Neuman » Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:27 am UTC

Back from 1912, managed to delay Stief long enough to allow the Titanic to hit the iceberg. I wish to remind everyone to read IATT Bulletin 1278 regarding circumvention of the Titanic disaster. Failure to do so may result in your expulsion per Bylaw 223.
Last edited by Neuman on Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:29 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
Hello. I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No.

User avatar
ASmileWithoutACat
Posts: 147
Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2007 3:53 pm UTC
Location: Perhaps over your head... or maybe behind you.
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby ASmileWithoutACat » Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:28 am UTC

Titanic issue taken care of; have just returned (dropped Stief off along the way) from the deck of the sinking ship, having locked him into an unoccupied stateroom with me before he could speak to the captain. To reiterate what we discussed in person, Stief: please read the forum on your chosen time period prior to departure, *in particular* the bulletin regarding the possible descendants of passengers on RMS Titanic, along with the effects on ship-building developments and maritime safety laws of the non-occurence of the wreck.

It will be in your own best interest to keep this in mind; I despise having to go out into the sea air, and the next time this occurs, I will likely return alone. This warning applies to Stief, and possibly other idiots as my mood dictates.

Edit: Damn ninjas. People, if you insist on traipsing back on your own to fix every little thing, please read the watch duty notice thread. It's right at the top. Every. Single. Board. You do NOT need to go out on your own initiative every time the ingenious fools strike. Doing so is liable to create parallel branches which are more troublesome to repair than the original paradoxes.

P.S. Please note that both Neuman and the Wombat have been dealt with. No more intervention on the Titanic is necessary. It's gotten crowded enough lately that I'm suprised it managed to float its way to the iceberg, what with all the extra weight.
Last edited by ASmileWithoutACat on Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:34 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
You know it's all beginning
To feel like pretending...

Happy yesterday to all!

User avatar
EsotericWombat
Colorful Orator
Posts: 2567
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2007 4:36 pm UTC
Location: Boston, MA
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby EsotericWombat » Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:28 am UTC

This uh... makes certain actions of mine significantly less consequence-free.

Note to self: all persons descended from Titanic passengers are now off-limits.

Edit: Ninja'd.

Thanks guys.
Image

Not an Evil Robot
Posts: 117
Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2007 2:05 am UTC

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby Not an Evil Robot » Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:53 am UTC

I just came back from March 26 2008, tried to stop ASmileWithoutACat from being ninja'd. On my return I see I have failed.

User avatar
Neuman
Posts: 239
Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2007 4:37 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby Neuman » Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:56 am UTC

Hey man, I was still on watch duty when I left. Maybe you shouldn't have jumped the gun?
Hello. I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No.

joeframbach
Posts: 1478
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2006 12:49 am UTC

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby joeframbach » Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:13 am UTC

lol so the frat guise sed i couldnt do it. yeah i sure showed them huh?

i went back to like a bajillion years ago and found this pool. the guyz sed it was some kind of soup or something. bunch of gross wormy things floating around. guess what i peeeeeeed in it! hahaa take that history.

User avatar
EsotericWombat
Colorful Orator
Posts: 2567
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2007 4:36 pm UTC
Location: Boston, MA
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby EsotericWombat » Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:20 am UTC

Ok. I'm back. problem is fixed. But the back of my hand is sore as shit. Please read IATT Bulletin 1. THERE IS A REASON WHY WE SEND IT OUT WITH YOUR USERNAME AND PASSWORD
Last edited by EsotericWombat on Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:30 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
Image

User avatar
Azrael001
Posts: 2385
Joined: Sun Nov 11, 2007 5:15 am UTC
Location: The Land of Make Believe.
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby Azrael001 » Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:25 am UTC

Hey guys, I'm back from my first trip and I've brought a friend. Say hello to Jesus of Nazareth. Peace on Earth here we come.
23111

User avatar
EsotericWombat
Colorful Orator
Posts: 2567
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2007 4:36 pm UTC
Location: Boston, MA
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby EsotericWombat » Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:31 am UTC

that... actually explains a hell of a lot.

Carry on.
Image

User avatar
The Coincidence
Posts: 17
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 11:50 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby The Coincidence » Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:59 am UTC

I see no problem there. Just make sure he doesn't pull any of that Revelations shit, I don't know how happy he's going to be about my downsized clones doing the yardwork.

Oh, and by the way? The Restaurant at the End of the Universe? Really not that great. Overcooked my beef.

User avatar
theonlyjett
Posts: 225
Joined: Thu Dec 27, 2007 3:14 am UTC
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby theonlyjett » Thu Mar 27, 2008 6:38 am UTC

See, and he said he'd be back...

User avatar
Azrael001
Posts: 2385
Joined: Sun Nov 11, 2007 5:15 am UTC
Location: The Land of Make Believe.
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby Azrael001 » Thu Mar 27, 2008 6:50 am UTC

That's what I figured. I even flew in so that he could "ascend into heaven".
23111

User avatar
theonlyjett
Posts: 225
Joined: Thu Dec 27, 2007 3:14 am UTC
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby theonlyjett » Thu Mar 27, 2008 7:15 am UTC

On a dare, I went to 1961 to see if I can get into the Apollo program so I could be the first person on the moon. I snuck some of my great great great great grandpa’s moonshine (don’t worry, I didn’t tell him who I was!) on the flight and me and the buzz got wasted!!!just before the moon walk. It ended up being more of a moon stumble-real-slowly. It was SWEET! BUZZ PUKED IN HIS HELMET!!!!

joeframbach
Posts: 1478
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2006 12:49 am UTC

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby joeframbach » Thu Mar 27, 2008 7:25 am UTC

theonlyjett wrote:On a dare, I went to 1961 to see if I can get into the Apollo program so I could be the first person on the moon. I snuck some of my great great great great grandpa’s moonshine (don’t worry, I didn’t tell him who I was!) on the flight and me and the buzz got wasted!!!just before the moon walk. It ended up being more of a moon stumble-real-slowly. It was SWEET! BUZZ PUKED IN HIS HELMET!!!!

Usually, people go back in time to change history.

User avatar
Azrael001
Posts: 2385
Joined: Sun Nov 11, 2007 5:15 am UTC
Location: The Land of Make Believe.
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby Azrael001 » Thu Mar 27, 2008 7:30 am UTC

Well if he wants to waste his time playing frat boy pranks on historical figures that's up to him.

On another note, I see that my intervention changed a little known middle eastern cult into a widespread global religion with few major side effects. Go me.
23111

joeframbach
Posts: 1478
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2006 12:49 am UTC

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby joeframbach » Thu Mar 27, 2008 8:38 am UTC

Azrael001 wrote:On another note, I see that my intervention changed a little known middle eastern cult into a widespread global religion with few major side effects. Go me.

Wow. This deserves props. Mad props.

User avatar
theonlyjett
Posts: 225
Joined: Thu Dec 27, 2007 3:14 am UTC
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby theonlyjett » Thu Mar 27, 2008 8:56 am UTC

Ah well, we forgot to tape it, so they had some actors do it on a stage.

User avatar
Maseiken
The Candylawyer
Posts: 2827
Joined: Sat May 19, 2007 11:13 am UTC

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby Maseiken » Thu Mar 27, 2008 11:00 am UTC

Azrael001 wrote:Hey guys, I'm back from my first trip and I've brought a friend. Say hello to Jesus of Nazareth. Peace on Earth here we come.

Oh for fuck's sake,
Are you guys fucking retarded?

Right, so I'm back from 40,000 AD (Or 20,000 AD as it was when I got there)
Please read IATT Bulletin 44, with particular attention to subsection 4:persons of unusual Charisma

So let me break it down for you.
Jesus brings peace on earth, yadda yadda, everyone's content with their lot, no-one bothers with scientific research, expecially not the dangerous kind, why should they? They're happy anyway!
This means that, 100,000 years from now, everyone dies, and no-one's bothered to invent time travel.

Do you know WHY the year 20,000th is the central hub of time travel?
BECAUSE IT'S THE DEAD, FUCKING CENTRE, of civilisation.
This means you don't fuck with anything before it, OR AFTER IT.
We're already sitting on (Quite literally) the shakiest Paradox in history, since we logically should be swimming in people. I don't know HOW the HELL all the alternate timeline versions of ourselves are dealt with by the people upstairs, but you don't do anything that might cause a Paradox, and THAT INCLUDES HALTING THE MARCH OF TIME TRAVEL RESEARCH.
It's bad enough that we have to hide it from those poor saps still working away on it on earth, but if they have any reason to give up, or stop trying then the fourth dimension of this place shakes like a GODDAMN BROKEN DRYER.

Even after I managed to get Jesus back into whatever vortex originally sucked him up there was some kind of "Residual Peace" infecting the whole of the 30,000s. I had to restart the Rylock wars just to get them moving again.
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

User avatar
thecommabandit
Posts: 1884
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2007 6:25 pm UTC
Location: Manchester, UK
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby thecommabandit » Thu Mar 27, 2008 11:15 am UTC

Hey guys, I'm prepping to leave for the 60s, going in a few hours or so. I'll probably swing by the 70s and 80s too for good measure. Anyone want me to bring them anything back? I'll be getting some Beatles records to sell for craploads myself. Maybe I can get some cool clothes from the 80s.
Image

User avatar
Mother Superior
Better than tea
Posts: 2405
Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 9:30 am UTC
Location: Sweden
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby Mother Superior » Thu Mar 27, 2008 11:22 am UTC

D'you mind saying hello to a friend of mine I met last time I was in the 70s? His name's ermm... Mike, or maybe Mark Chapman or some such, I think. I lent him a great book by J.D. Salinger and I'd like it back in good condition if he's finished it.
My crappy creepy? Crabby? My crabby blog.
"She bore also the fruitless deep with his raging swell, Pontus, without sweet union of love."
- Hesiod, Theogony

User avatar
Stief
Posts: 501
Joined: Wed Jul 04, 2007 12:43 am UTC
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby Stief » Thu Mar 27, 2008 1:16 pm UTC

Decided to join thecommabandit in the 60's, and swung by Texas in '61 to stop the assassination of JFK...it turns out there was no grassy knoll at all! it was shopped in! Managed to disable the car so they couldn't go ahead...didn't see Lee H Oswald either :S
bbctol wrote:There is a term for what you have created. I believe it is "Dude- that shit is EPIC."

Teknobo wrote:Seriously, try flying down the street in Need for Speed while listening to the bicycle theme from Pokémon. It's beyond fantastic.

User avatar
Maseiken
The Candylawyer
Posts: 2827
Joined: Sat May 19, 2007 11:13 am UTC

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby Maseiken » Thu Mar 27, 2008 1:40 pm UTC

Stief wrote:Decided to join thecommabandit in the 60's, and swung by Texas in '61 to stop the assassination of JFK...it turns out there was no grassy knoll at all! it was shopped in! Managed to disable the car so they couldn't go ahead...didn't see Lee H Oswald either :S

OH FFS...

Anyone who's even registered knows this one,
No JFK assasination means JFK Scandal, Means Mafia controlled President (Too complex to get into now), means Cuban Missile Crisis went the other way, means US cities evacuated, means lowered US productivity, means Soviet victory in Cold War, means no funding for Space travel for 40-odd years means less advanced craft in 2500 AD means Meteor crushes EVERYTHING.

Just came back from assasination, fixed the car, but the lateness meant Lee Harvey Oswald was paying less attention and hit non-vitals. Had to go back to pre-European settlement, organise a Barrow tomb for one chieftan, thus bringing in a Grassy Gnoll for me to suggest to CIA chief as a good Sniper Placement.

I was hoping to get some Downtime at Woodstock tonight, but that's gone out the window.
RTFM!
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

User avatar
ASmileWithoutACat
Posts: 147
Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2007 3:53 pm UTC
Location: Perhaps over your head... or maybe behind you.
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby ASmileWithoutACat » Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:10 pm UTC

Okay, people, this is getting ridiculous.

I was taking a bit of a vacation in the Gardens on Centauri I around 5000 A.D., just enjoying that peaceful bit before the end of the Second Settlement there, and I happened to notice a few... rather odd... statues. People, mucking about in the Colonial Wars is bad enough, and arranging to be a hero is worse (the fact that the 8th Stellar Empire has pretty energy blades does not require us to *use* them), but can we at least try for period accuracy? You could at least wear Alphan fatigues, not a very clearly 20th century leather coat. And the pauldrons; wtf? That doesn't even make sense, as I'm assuming you were using a repellent field generator hidden in the coat, since you weren't wearing any other *effective* armor. Otherwise, I'm assuming you're an idiot. And probably a dead one.

Anyway, this wants somebody to look in on this idiot and clear the changes for paradox, and I have an absolutely unbreakable date in the lunar recolonization period tonight, so could somebody please look into it? Thanks; I'll check back in and join you if you need help once I'm free.
You know it's all beginning
To feel like pretending...

Happy yesterday to all!

User avatar
Maseiken
The Candylawyer
Posts: 2827
Joined: Sat May 19, 2007 11:13 am UTC

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby Maseiken » Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:05 pm UTC

ASmileWithoutACat wrote:Anyway, this wants somebody to look in on this idiot and clear the changes for paradox, and I have an absolutely unbreakable date in the lunar recolonization period tonight, so could somebody please look into it? Thanks; I'll check back in and join you if you need help once I'm free.

Not actually a problem anymore, check back, they should be gone.
Turns out it was an Unstable Paradox, his ancestors didn't get access to Time technology, so now they're gone, that last relative in his dynasty is now Frederick the third of Beeteljeuse, who died without children, due to being neutered as a child, by a freak Laser riccochet off some particularly reflective garments on one of the statues comemorating the Colonial Wars.
Neat, I suppose, pity he dragged his family into it, but now they never existed so... never mind!

EDIT: Just got back from mending a slight problem there, for some reason, the statue was still present, only now it comemorated "The unknown Warrior that leapt to our aid" I pointed out the silliness of his attire and the statue was decommissioned.
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

User avatar
thecommabandit
Posts: 1884
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2007 6:25 pm UTC
Location: Manchester, UK
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby thecommabandit » Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:57 pm UTC

I'm sorry about Stief guys, I told him he shouldn't de-assassinate JFK and to read the bulletins but he just wouldn't listen and spouted some crap about for the good of mankind. On another note, I brought back the whole Beatles' discography. They'll be on ebay shortly if anyone can't be bothered changing their credits into 2000s currency. I didn't make it to the 80s, but I did get lucky at the Summer of Love, heh.
Image

User avatar
EsotericWombat
Colorful Orator
Posts: 2567
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2007 4:36 pm UTC
Location: Boston, MA
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby EsotericWombat » Thu Mar 27, 2008 5:07 pm UTC

Given the recent rash of, ahem, less than ideal timestream activity, I've seen it fit to open up a small business venture. I'm pleased to announce the opening of the first interchronal security service. Essentially this will allow IATT members to purchase coverage for their ancestors against any possible intervening activity to come as a result of time travelers mucking about. Our agents are effectively invisible, and their conduct is guaranteed to be kosher-- a clause in their contract means that any undue meddling will result in their summary erasure from the timeline.

Pricing upon request.

EDIT: Just got back from a quick op. thecommabandit, so you know, I got you a vasectomy before your foray. If you ever do intend to reproduce you'll have to get it reversed.
Image

User avatar
ASmileWithoutACat
Posts: 147
Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2007 3:53 pm UTC
Location: Perhaps over your head... or maybe behind you.
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby ASmileWithoutACat » Thu Mar 27, 2008 6:22 pm UTC

All right, Wombat. I'm not sure if you meant things to turn out as they would have, and at the moment, I don't particularly care what you meant. Your "agency" has been eliminated from all reachable timelines, your employees have been redirected into much more reasonable positions, and you will find your own activities severely curtailed for a long (subjective) time. You, and everyone else, should thoroughly study Bulletin 105 and Bylaw 69, regarding the establishment of commercial or other corporate entities concerned with temporal manipulation.

For the stupid and/or lazy among you, I'll summarize here: a group of people working *together* to manipulate events will always, eventually, turn the control to personal advantage. No matter how good your intentions. I don't care if your heart is pure. Always. Even if you don't, your descendants/heirs/successors will.

This sequence invariably leads to some form of the "Empire of Eternity" taking over (carefully, of course, ensuring that time travel development is not affected) the entire timeline. Except for those of us (I'm looking at you, Esoteric Wombat) in high positions with the organization, this means we are royally screwed. The empire's first concern is always to purge other travelers who are unnecessary for its history. This means that the IATT is always a prime target, and, in alternate timelines which some of us may or may not recall, this has led to long and rather stupid cycles of suppression and rebellion, always (obviously) resulting in the restoration of a timeline without any form of the Empire. This usually means one without the founder of the Empire, as well; consider yourself lucky, Wombat, that I stopped your little venture before the ripples spread too far to be contained except by eliminating the source. As it is, consider yourself severely reprimanded and under consideration for expulsion.
You know it's all beginning
To feel like pretending...

Happy yesterday to all!

User avatar
EsotericWombat
Colorful Orator
Posts: 2567
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2007 4:36 pm UTC
Location: Boston, MA
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby EsotericWombat » Thu Mar 27, 2008 6:58 pm UTC

Smile, do NOT start a war with me. You will lose. My agents have left no trace of their presence in any of my test cases, and are under strict and uncontravenable orders (as I've explained quite clearly) to take no action to contradict the established timeline. My organization is completely transparent--I've given the IATT the key to all of my communications between myself and my agents, and their actions are under constant surveillance.-- and as I've laid out before the council, the countermeasures against wrongdoing are extensive.

Simply put, and I can't understand how this could have been misunderstood, if one of my agents alters an established event, they disappear. Their charge is to prevent ripple effects from wiping IATT members from the timeline in ways that, quite frankly, we have had enormous trouble tracing in the past. Again, this is the only action they are capable of taking, and the enforcement against manipulation puts my organization well within bylaws.

Your unilateral action in this matter raises some troubling questions as to your judgement.
Image

Rysto
Posts: 1460
Joined: Wed Mar 21, 2007 4:07 am UTC

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby Rysto » Thu Mar 27, 2008 8:44 pm UTC

Jesus, what a clusterfuck. Due to the ripple effects from the massive timeline changes we've undergone since Wombat's enterprise began, I expect that none of you have any memory of the events. If I hadn't been in the 16th century reverting some vandalism when all this happened... well, I'd rather not think of the consequences. A hearing was to be held in timeline 548.1545.5744B on EsotericWombat's blatant disregard for Bylaw 69. However, by the time the hearing was started, Bulletin 105 had been countermanded 20 years previously and Bylaw 69 had never been proposed, let alone enacted. As it turns out, operatives from Wombat's enterprise circa 3558 -- yes, more than 1000 years from now -- were sent back to remove any threats to their own existence. Actually, I misspoke there. By the year 3558, it's less an "enterprise" and more a "empire spanning the entirety of human history". In any case, they miscalculated badly. The timestream became so volatile that it didn't stabilize until we reached timeline 548.1546.8745Z.

In that timeline, Isaac Newton killed his partner John Denroche in the year 2520. For those of you who have no idea who John Denroche is -- and I expect that's most of you, because in this timeline he's just an anonymous murder victim -- in timeline 548.1545.5744B John Denroche exposed Newton's plans for a Self-Perpetuating Empire of Eternity to the IATT in the year 2525. With Denroche dead, Newton succeeded in imposing that Empire. Now, as you all know, Isaac Newton and his Self-Perpetuating Empire of Eternity is the greatest threat that the IATT has ever faced. Newton ruled that empire from the 16th and 17th centuries, and greatly accelerated the progress of scientific development in that time. In doing so, Newton ensured that the existence of his own empire would lead to the development of time travel. In theory, that ensures that his empire is invincible: if the IATT were to dismantle it, scientific progress would slow to the point that the 2500 Meteor that Maseiken mentioned earlier wiped out all of humanity, which would mean that time travel would never exist and the IATT could not have destroyed Newton's Empire.

Saving Denroche's life proved impossible -- far too many of Newton's agents were in placed in the year 2520 to prevent the murder. I attempted to ensure that Newton was convicted for the murder, but the Empire secured his release by infiltrating the police force. Stymied, I tried to find a different tack. Fortunately, the Empire had another weakness: their existence was predicated on the original modifications to the timeline made by the empire founded by Wombat. Therefore, Newton's Empire had to send the same agents from the year 3558 to ensure that Bulletin 105 was countermanded and Bylaw 69 never existed. I had to travel forward in time to the year 3557 and fool the Empire's timeline monitors into believing that those agents were modifying the timeline to their own benefit. The agents were erased from existence and the replacement agents sent back failed in getting Bulletin 105 repealed. Isaac Newton has been exiled to the 16th century and is well aware that any modifications to the timeline he might make would cause himself to be erased from existence.

In light of the return of Newton's Self-Perpetuating Empire of Eternity, the IATT has issued Directive 8955. An immediate moratorium on the use of any time travel has been instituted while the IATT analyzes the stability of the new timeline and establishes the essential causality. The full review is expected to take 60 years. It is hoped that the results will arrive from the year 2604 within the next few days.

User avatar
EsotericWombat
Colorful Orator
Posts: 2567
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2007 4:36 pm UTC
Location: Boston, MA
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby EsotericWombat » Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:12 pm UTC

I don't know what to tell you. I released every piece of equipment and data relevant to my organization to the IATT upon deployment. The only operation that had even gone underway was a small-scale test of methodology with limited personell and only one protectee. Smile pulled some strings and got me shut down before anything more than a test run was put into effect, and my agents--a team of five, assigned to one figure, and limited to jumps back and forth from that time--were all isolated. Any responsibility on my part for the Newtonian snafu lies outside the realm of possibility, except that perhaps Smile's accusation that I was out to start and Empire of Eternity put the idea in someone's head that I'd be an easy frame.

Of course, because that bell cannot be unrung (without creating a mess), I've dropped my appeals to the IATT and accept the dissolution of my agency. But we clearly have someone operating off the grid here, and that means that unless those corrective measures caused his/her elimination, we need to take a second look at this

On a minor unrelated note, it is NOT COOL to write, "*yourname* was here" in Sharpie on the walls of the Colosseum. EVEN IF YOU DO IT IN LATIN.
Image

User avatar
thecommabandit
Posts: 1884
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2007 6:25 pm UTC
Location: Manchester, UK
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby thecommabandit » Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:29 pm UTC

ASmileWithoutACat wrote:All right, Wombat. I'm not sure if you meant things to turn out as they would have, and at the moment, I don't particularly care what you meant. Your "agency" has been eliminated from all reachable timelines

Does this mean I get my nads back? I'd go to the docbot and check but I wanted to leave for the 3550s soon to see what the hell is going on then.

Wait, no time traveling for the next few days? Damnit! I was hoping to go to Pretend to Be A Time Traveler Day in 2010 tomorrow and mess with a few heads.
Image

User avatar
ASmileWithoutACat
Posts: 147
Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2007 3:53 pm UTC
Location: Perhaps over your head... or maybe behind you.
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby ASmileWithoutACat » Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:36 pm UTC

All right, Wombat, I do apologize, but I would like to point out that you were never accused of *intentionally* paving the way for Newton's plans. My argument (and the point of Bulletin 105) is that an organization such as your own inevitably leads to an empire such as the one he created. Not your fault, or anyone (except Newton's, and that's taken care of). So let's drop the matter, shall we?

On a side note, I do intend to find the individual who planted the five sacks of Hyandian madroot underneath my home. Having only just finished extricating myself from the consequences with the local authorities, I've managed to isolate the alteration as a stasis field inserted approximately five hundred years ago, during construction. I don't know if this was related to any... recent disagreements on these boards, but I would like to point out that taking any unapproved personal action against another IATT member is directly against the conventions and grounds for immediate suspension, probable expulsion and likely erasure.

If whoever is responsible is reading this, I just want to make clear that it would be best for you to correct your own actions before I have a clear enough trace to make a formal accusation.
You know it's all beginning
To feel like pretending...

Happy yesterday to all!

User avatar
EsotericWombat
Colorful Orator
Posts: 2567
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2007 4:36 pm UTC
Location: Boston, MA
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby EsotericWombat » Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:56 pm UTC

Actually direct references were made to "my" organization, which never got off the ground in the first place. . Which means someone else set up a similar framework, only without failsafes.

You of course have the relevant data to corroborate my lack of involvement, and I can only imagine that it would play into the hands of the responsible party to set us at each other's throats. How's the trace coming along?


@thecommabandit: they, uh, never left you dude. And anyways, the procedure was reversed when you got back from the 60s. If you decide to do the nasty in the past-y, you need to take extreme precautions to make sure nothing wriggles out of the places you inserted yourself.

Also, I may be missing something, but why can't the results of the analysis be sent back to today?
Image

Rysto
Posts: 1460
Joined: Wed Mar 21, 2007 4:07 am UTC

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby Rysto » Thu Mar 27, 2008 10:29 pm UTC

Wombat, it's necessary for us to start the review process and most importantly, isolate the reviewers from our branch of the IATT before the review comes back. Should one of the reviewers base any of their conclusions on the review -- well, you know how paradoxes destabilize the timestream. Once the review is fully under way and isolated it will be safe to receive the review, and that will take a few days.

User avatar
Maseiken
The Candylawyer
Posts: 2827
Joined: Sat May 19, 2007 11:13 am UTC

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby Maseiken » Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:43 am UTC

EsotericWombat wrote:Actually direct references were made to "my" organization, which never got off the ground in the first place. . Which means someone else set up a similar framework, only without failsafes.

You of course have the relevant data to corroborate my lack of involvement, and I can only imagine that it would play into the hands of the responsible party to set us at each other's throats. How's the trace coming along?


@thecommabandit: they, uh, never left you dude. And anyways, the procedure was reversed when you got back from the 60s. If you decide to do the nasty in the past-y, you need to take extreme precautions to make sure nothing wriggles out of the places you inserted yourself.

Also, I may be missing something, but why can't the results of the analysis be sent back to today?


I believe you're all missing something, and that's Bylaw 442.

Any organisation devoted to the insurance of anyone's ancestors inevitably leads up to a ridiculous over-concentration of population, redirecting Scientific enterprise to completly focus on Space travel, and the utter ignoring a Time Travel all-together from the 30th century onward.

If you save people's ancestors, they stay on, all fine and good.
If you set up a SYSTEM for the saving of Ancestors, well...
THEN the descendents that never existed now DO exist, because they paid you so they could keep existing, even though they never did!

A Man called Derek just walked into my house and said he was my second cousin... And He IS, because he paid you to keep him existing. That branch of my Family was cut off 150 Years ago, and yet, here's Derek. I can't reverse it, it'd be like Murder.
Do you realise, that, even though your service only existed for a short time, and then had never existed, the population in the 25th Century has now Tripled from it's original numbers?
I know it's supposed to go up because of the Orgy Empire's Dynasty, but the slight increases YOU made throughout time, put it up Exponentially, until it just Friggin' EXPLODED.
I have succesfully implanted a Contraception scheme in 12 of the 24 Planets in the Orgy Empire, bringing the population down. But Derek's still around, Congratulations, you made 400,000 new people for Management to accomodate in IATT headuarters.
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

User avatar
EsotericWombat
Colorful Orator
Posts: 2567
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2007 4:36 pm UTC
Location: Boston, MA
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby EsotericWombat » Fri Mar 28, 2008 2:16 am UTC

If there's a man who says he came from a branch of your family that no longer exists walking through the door, he is SCAMMING you. My service was never intended to be pro bono, y'see. Your ancestors would only have been protected if it was at your instruction. And it was only going to prevent harm from coming to ancestors if said harm was a result of tampering with the timeline.


RTFM

Moreover, it isn't that my service only existed for a short time, and then never existed, it was never implemented. It was only offered.

Though for the sake of argument, time travel has potentially far greater potential for solving problems of overcrowding than space travel if you consider that the main reason terraforming was impractical in the past was because it takes so goddamned long. But now you can just start up the equipment thousands of years in advance.
Image

User avatar
Timequake
Posts: 108
Joined: Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:35 pm UTC
Location: Everywhere.
Contact:

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby Timequake » Fri Mar 28, 2008 2:23 am UTC

So, I went back a few years, and it turns out I'm my own great-grandfather. And don't worry- just to be sure, I tried going back and stopping myself, but that negated my existence, creating an unstable paradox which eventually shifted the timeline back to the one in which I am my own great-grandfather.
I also noticed someone trying to assassinate Bill Gates when I was back there (I have no clue what their motivation might have been), and managed to negate the anonymous meddler's existence entirely. No traces were left.
GENERATION -i: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum. Square it, and then add i to the generation.

Aradae
Posts: 357
Joined: Mon Aug 20, 2007 5:59 pm UTC

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby Aradae » Fri Mar 28, 2008 2:51 am UTC

Back from summer of 1969, I tackled Jimi hendrix just as he was about to burn his guitar, he suffered some burises and what may be a broken arm but I think he'll be alright. Anyways I took back his guitar, how much do you think it's worth?

Edit: apparently the whole incident resulted in jimi being unable to play again. So do you think this raises the value of the guitar?
Guys guys guys! I found Russel's teapot! . . . nevermind, it was just Jesus flying to Mars again.

joeframbach
Posts: 1478
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2006 12:49 am UTC

Re: I just came back from 1912....

Postby joeframbach » Fri Mar 28, 2008 3:20 am UTC

Aradae wrote:Edit: apparently the whole incident resulted in jimi being unable to play again. So do you think this raises the value of the guitar?

Sure, maybe. But it doesn't matter because the value of the money is worth the same relative amount.


Return to “Forum Games”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 29 guests