Attack and Defend

For all your silly time-killing forum games.

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Col. Mustard
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Attack and Defend

Postby Col. Mustard » Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:06 pm UTC

It works like this:

You defend against the attack from the poster above you and then you attack the poster below you.


Example:


Poster #1 wrote:
Attack: *Throws rock at next poster*


Poster #2 wrote:Defend: *Holds up garbage can lid to deflect the rock*

Attack: *Throws banana flambe at next poster*



I'll start:

Attack: *Throws a flaming wad of paper at next poster*

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Timequake
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Timequake » Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:13 pm UTC

*Defends against flaming wad of paper with a fire extinguisher*

*Throws a fire extinguisher at next poster*
GENERATION -i: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum. Square it, and then add i to the generation.

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drconcon
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby drconcon » Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:20 pm UTC

*Defends with football helmet.

*Throws wrench at next poster.
Belial wrote:Never assume you're safe.

That's when the raptors get yah!


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Cornelius
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Cornelius » Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:24 pm UTC

blocks with nut and bolt

summons a volcano and unleashes a pyroclastic flow at NP.
ImageImageImage

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drconcon
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby drconcon » Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:26 pm UTC

*Defends by idling my car, causing global warming to freeze the lava.

*Lunges at NP with a fork.
Belial wrote:Never assume you're safe.

That's when the raptors get yah!


sckego
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Location: DFW, Texas

Re: Attack and Defend

Postby sckego » Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:30 pm UTC

Holds a steak in the way.

Upset that my steak is now impaled upon a fork, I throw my steak knife at NP.

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drconcon
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby drconcon » Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:36 pm UTC

*Puts the wrist of a rich kid who is desperately looking for attention in the way.

*Pushes NP down stairs.
Belial wrote:Never assume you're safe.

That's when the raptors get yah!


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Chrismclegless
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Chrismclegless » Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:38 pm UTC

*Wears an extremely bouncy suit. Like Mr Blobby.*

*Offers NP some of my cooking*
Londo: Maybe it was something I said?
G'Kar: Maybe it is everything you say.

How tasty is YOUR brain?

GENERATION 21: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

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Col. Mustard
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Col. Mustard » Tue Apr 22, 2008 5:52 am UTC

I protect myself with some Pepto Bismol®.

Takes away NP's lantern.

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Zohar
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Zohar » Tue Apr 22, 2008 6:55 am UTC

I wait for day.

I hope for meteors to strike the next poster.
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

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kellsbells
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby kellsbells » Tue Apr 22, 2008 7:18 am UTC

Your hopes are unfulfilled.

I unleash a deadly rain of paperclips upon the next poster.
A good pun is its own reword.
L wrote:A day without kells is a day not worth living.

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Dobblesworth
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Dobblesworth » Tue Apr 22, 2008 9:53 am UTC

I pull out multiple neodynium magnets and collate all the paperclips out of harms way.


I throw my other neodynium magnets in the general direction of the next poster.

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keozen
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby keozen » Tue Apr 22, 2008 11:15 am UTC

I duck

I throw a Duck at the next poster (and an otter)
Image

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Chrismclegless
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Chrismclegless » Tue Apr 22, 2008 11:17 am UTC

*I persuade the duck to ignore me, and instead attack the NP.*
Londo: Maybe it was something I said?
G'Kar: Maybe it is everything you say.

How tasty is YOUR brain?

GENERATION 21: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

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keozen
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby keozen » Tue Apr 22, 2008 11:18 am UTC

I have a deep conversation with the duck and convince him to build his own tardis and become a timelord instead.

NP? I Fart in your General direction
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Zohar
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Zohar » Tue Apr 22, 2008 11:22 am UTC

I turn on a fan in the previous poster's direction.

I use Monkey's extending stick to attack the next poster.
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

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Dobblesworth
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Dobblesworth » Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:14 pm UTC

I hold out a cigarette lighter and burn the stick.

I leave a series of nails, point up, along the motorway the next poster is driving along.

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keozen
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby keozen » Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:30 pm UTC

God bless my new solid rubber puncture proof tires :)

I squeeze the next poster's toothpaste FROM THE MIDDLE!!! (Dun Dun Duhhhhhhhh!)
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Dobblesworth
Dobblesworth, here's the title you requested over three years ago. -Banana
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Dobblesworth » Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:47 pm UTC

Ahh good thing this new mecha-organic toothbrush has a breeding centre for toothpaste and transcends the need for external tubes of it.

I bounce my graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish, aiming it in the general direction of the NP

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Col. Mustard
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Col. Mustard » Tue Apr 22, 2008 5:28 pm UTC

I divert all power from life support to boost shields.

NP will suffocate with me!!!! (in a few hours)

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Nebuduck
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Nebuduck » Tue Apr 22, 2008 8:12 pm UTC

I convert all the mass of Col. Mustard's body into oxygen. This should sustain me until I fix his meddlesome meddlings!

I smite the next poster, using my godly powers!

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Dobblesworth
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Dobblesworth » Tue Apr 22, 2008 11:15 pm UTC

I carry a full Tier Nine-Thousand armour set to battle against Nebuduck, and my Holy Resistance value skyrockets to 13 quadrillion. The Smiting has no effect and I retire from the field of combat.

I activate my remote-control Sherman Tank and drive it ponderously in the general direction of NP, with a view to running him over. Oh, and NP is trapped in a canyon just a tad wider than the tank.

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Chrismclegless
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Chrismclegless » Tue Apr 22, 2008 11:19 pm UTC

Using a spring I found on the floor of the canyon, I bounce over the tank, land on the turret, and sit there while it drives out of the canyon.

I then throw said spring at the NP.
Londo: Maybe it was something I said?
G'Kar: Maybe it is everything you say.

How tasty is YOUR brain?

GENERATION 21: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

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Dobblesworth
Dobblesworth, here's the title you requested over three years ago. -Banana
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Dobblesworth » Tue Apr 22, 2008 11:38 pm UTC

I catch the spring, uncoil it, then hurl the newly uncoiled spring like a twirled javelin in the general direction of NP's nether regions.

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drconcon
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby drconcon » Tue Apr 22, 2008 11:48 pm UTC

My steel nads deflect said spring towards the NP's eye.
Belial wrote:Never assume you're safe.

That's when the raptors get yah!


AvalonXQ
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby AvalonXQ » Wed Apr 23, 2008 12:49 am UTC

I watch as time passes and the spring becomes summer, and therefore even more pleasant.

I cast "Power Word, Kill" at the next poster.

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Col. Mustard
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Col. Mustard » Wed Apr 23, 2008 1:18 am UTC

Sorry, I have 101 hp.

I stick NP with a Covenant plasma grenade.

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Meowgan
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Meowgan » Wed Apr 23, 2008 1:49 am UTC

My bard sings songs to boost my morale and I deflect the ray with my +5 shield of freaking awesome.

I jump on NP's head, Sonic Style.
<L> dude. she made a motherfucking stargate.
<L> you need to keep this girl. do whatever it takes.

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Meowgan
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Meowgan » Wed Apr 23, 2008 1:51 am UTC

My bard sings songs to boost my morale and I deflect the ray with my +5 shield of freaking awesome.

I jump on NP's head, Sonic Style.
<L> dude. she made a motherfucking stargate.
<L> you need to keep this girl. do whatever it takes.

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Aramis
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Aramis » Wed Apr 23, 2008 2:59 am UTC

Meowgan bounces off the trampoline hat I'm wearing.

I take off my hat, bounce off it and performs a Liu Kang Flying Kick on the NP.

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Godeler
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Godeler » Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:22 am UTC

I teleport behind Aramis, and then throw an ice ball at the NP.
Even stick figures drawn with passion have more soul in them than the greatest masterpiece of a charlatan.

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podbaydoor
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby podbaydoor » Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:45 am UTC

HADOUKEN!

I overload the next poster's sanity with an unending barrage of pointless viral videos.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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helios
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby helios » Wed Apr 23, 2008 5:47 am UTC

blocks with Microsoft Windows Firewall

Attacks the next poster with continuous email spamming
You think an Inter-continental Ballistic Missile would do more that just 3 damage.

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Zohar
COMMANDER PORN
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Zohar » Wed Apr 23, 2008 6:57 am UTC

I'm on Gmail, no spam for me! (seriously, no spam has ever gone through my filter!)

I unleash a hoard of five-year-olds at the NP.
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

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Ansain
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Ansain » Wed Apr 23, 2008 7:03 am UTC

I defend with a flame thrower and attack the next poster with a hoard of children on fire.
Why put off till today what you could just as easily get done tomorrow?

I can mathematically prove that 1 equals 0!.

Parts a-x in my plan weren't that important anyways.

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Meowgan
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Meowgan » Wed Apr 23, 2008 7:32 am UTC

Luckily I'm wearing my asbestos underwear.

Meowgan uses confusion on NP. NP is confused, it hurts itself in its confusion.
<L> dude. she made a motherfucking stargate.
<L> you need to keep this girl. do whatever it takes.

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Dobblesworth
Dobblesworth, here's the title you requested over three years ago. -Banana
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Dobblesworth » Wed Apr 23, 2008 8:41 am UTC

It's not very effective...
Dobblesworth snapped itself out of confusion!

Dobblesworth used Hyper Beam on NP

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AlphaSquirrel
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby AlphaSquirrel » Wed Apr 23, 2008 9:00 am UTC

Defend: *Cancels it out with a Lazy Beam*

Attack *Uses same Lazy Beam on NP*
Image

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drconcon
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby drconcon » Wed Apr 23, 2008 11:39 am UTC

*Cancels it out with hyper beam.

*Uses same hyper beam on NP

...Someone didn't think something through here.
Belial wrote:Never assume you're safe.

That's when the raptors get yah!


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Dobblesworth
Dobblesworth, here's the title you requested over three years ago. -Banana
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Re: Attack and Defend

Postby Dobblesworth » Wed Apr 23, 2008 2:52 pm UTC

I rotate my beam energy absorption panels to face the oncoming Hyper Beam. I use this energy to power my gene-labs and clone an army of super-soldiers to attack NP.


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