Escape from Raptors

For all your silly time-killing forum games.

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orangedragonfire
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby orangedragonfire » Sun Nov 18, 2012 6:28 am UTC

You are crushed by a large amount of raptor corpses.

I use all of the methods thus far described in this thread, at the same time.

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marionic
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby marionic » Sun Nov 18, 2012 10:43 am UTC

They all fail in the ways thus far described in this thread.

I hide in my house.
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Vytron
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Vytron » Mon Nov 19, 2012 7:49 am UTC

There's a raptor under your bed! I don't need to explain the gory details, only that they were very gory.

I buy a horse, and a boat, and a ship, and a plane, and a rocket, and a teleporter, and a time machine, and I start running away forever so the raptors never catch me.
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
Cheers Marsh'n!

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marionic
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby marionic » Mon Nov 19, 2012 11:20 am UTC

There were raptors on the plane. I don't need to explain the gory details, only that they were very gory.

I escape into my own fantasy world.
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eculc
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby eculc » Mon Nov 19, 2012 12:48 pm UTC

The raptors follow you into your fantasy world.

I hire robocop to be my personal bodyguard.
Um, this post feels devoid of content. Good luck?
For comparison, that means that if the cabbage guy from Avatar: The Last Airbender filled up his cart with lettuce instead, it would be about a quarter of a lethal dose.

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Vytron
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Vytron » Tue Nov 20, 2012 2:55 am UTC

You hired raptorcop by mistake. He's very slow, but eventually, he eats you.

I accidentally all raptors.
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
Cheers Marsh'n!

Your ad here. No, seriously! It's free! PM me if interested.
THANKS KARHELL!! :)

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marionic
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby marionic » Tue Nov 20, 2012 11:23 am UTC

The raptors intentionally you.

I launch verbs at the raptors using a verb launcher.
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eculc
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby eculc » Tue Nov 20, 2012 12:50 pm UTC

they return fire with adverbs. you are quickly buried under a pile of adverbs and the raptors come and eat you.

I escape from the raptors (for reals this time)
Um, this post feels devoid of content. Good luck?
For comparison, that means that if the cabbage guy from Avatar: The Last Airbender filled up his cart with lettuce instead, it would be about a quarter of a lethal dose.

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marionic
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby marionic » Tue Nov 20, 2012 12:53 pm UTC

You realise that you are dreaming you are in a Homestar Runner cartoon and that you have not really escaped.

I throw :!: at the raptors.
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Vytron » Tue Nov 20, 2012 11:10 pm UTC

They throw :?: at you, it's super effective!

I pay the raptors so they don't eat me.
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
Cheers Marsh'n!

Your ad here. No, seriously! It's free! PM me if interested.
THANKS KARHELL!! :)

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marionic
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby marionic » Wed Nov 21, 2012 10:33 am UTC

They don't need money as they always eat the shopkeepers, and now they eat you.

I team up with a silent from Doctor Who.
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orangedragonfire
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby orangedragonfire » Sat Nov 24, 2012 3:59 pm UTC

A raptor silent eats the silent, while a normal raptor eats you.

I hide in an obvious place.

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marionic
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby marionic » Sat Nov 24, 2012 4:05 pm UTC

... You get eaten. Obviously.

I send out my Lv100 Zekrom, Lv100 Kyurem, and Lv100 Mewtwo to deal with the raptors.
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orangedragonfire
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby orangedragonfire » Sat Nov 24, 2012 4:09 pm UTC

A Lv100 Raptor easily takes care of them and proceeds to eat you.

I use spiral power to defeat the raptors.

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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby BlackHatSupport » Mon Dec 03, 2012 6:14 pm UTC

They reverse the power, turning you into a spiral and then eating you.

I summon an army of zombie raptors, then sit back and watch the carnage from a safe location.
Avenger_7 wrote:You are entitled to your opinion though. Even though it's wrong.

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orangedragonfire
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby orangedragonfire » Mon Dec 03, 2012 6:20 pm UTC

... there is an army of zombie raptors fighting countless normal raptors. No location is safe.

I draw a circle around the raptors, and tell them that their are not allowed to cross it.

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bug sniper
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby bug sniper » Tue Dec 04, 2012 6:00 am UTC

The raptors shove eachother across the line. Due to a technicality in your command, this does not count as crossing the line.

I get rescued by a group of survivors who aren't raptors and who have their own plans of survival against the raptors.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby eculc » Tue Dec 04, 2012 3:57 pm UTC

It turns out their plan for survival was to team up with another group of survivors thathad a plan for survival. since nobody actually has a plan to survive, you all get eaten.

I summon the "Do you even lift?" guy to be my bodyguard.
Um, this post feels devoid of content. Good luck?
For comparison, that means that if the cabbage guy from Avatar: The Last Airbender filled up his cart with lettuce instead, it would be about a quarter of a lethal dose.

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Vytron
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Vytron » Wed Dec 05, 2012 4:31 pm UTC

The raptors can't harm the "Do you even lift?" guy, so things seem to be going as planned and you're safe. Eventually, though, they figure out it's better to just hire the "Do you even lift?" guy as an assassin, and send him to kill you. They pay him 10 times as much as you did. You're doomed. Contratulations! You have successfully escaped from raptors and were killed by the "Do you even lift?" guy instead!

I become immortal.
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
Cheers Marsh'n!

Your ad here. No, seriously! It's free! PM me if interested.
THANKS KARHELL!! :)

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bug sniper
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby bug sniper » Wed Dec 12, 2012 6:32 am UTC

The raptors try to chew on you, but find you too tough, so they spit you out onto a pile of quicksand. You sink and, as it dries up, you get encased in rock-hard dirt, never to be seen again.

I create a large number of clones of myself, all poisonous. The poison is assisted by nanobots that encase and protect the poison from the detoxification chemicals in the raptors' bloodstream, and carry it straight to their brains.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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marionic
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby marionic » Wed Dec 12, 2012 8:39 am UTC

They eat you because you're much bigger than the clones, seeing as they've only just been born, so they're babies. They then proceed to eat the baby clones and the raptors all die out. But YOU didn't avoid them, did you?

I have bug sniper wipe out the raptors in the way described above.
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby eculc » Wed Dec 12, 2012 8:02 pm UTC

your plan fails in the way described above.

I transfer my consciousness into digital storage and connect my digital brain to a robotic body. Since I'm made of metal and am no longer a biological human, the raptors do not eat me and/or attempt to kill me in any way, especially since I leave them in peace so as not to make them want to kill me anyways.
Um, this post feels devoid of content. Good luck?
For comparison, that means that if the cabbage guy from Avatar: The Last Airbender filled up his cart with lettuce instead, it would be about a quarter of a lethal dose.

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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Vytron » Thu Dec 13, 2012 8:35 pm UTC

It works! However, you observe these events from hell, as it turns out, the digital copy of your consciousness isn't really you, just a really good copy that would trick anybody, but you're actually dead.

I flirt with the raptor queen.
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
Cheers Marsh'n!

Your ad here. No, seriously! It's free! PM me if interested.
THANKS KARHELL!! :)

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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby eculc » Thu Dec 13, 2012 11:31 pm UTC

Raptors engage in the same sexual behaviors as praying mantises.

I kill all the raptors, with a gun.
Um, this post feels devoid of content. Good luck?
For comparison, that means that if the cabbage guy from Avatar: The Last Airbender filled up his cart with lettuce instead, it would be about a quarter of a lethal dose.

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bug sniper
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby bug sniper » Wed Dec 19, 2012 8:20 pm UTC

The raptors circle-strafe around your gun and stay behind you, while approaching you to bite off your neck.

I insert a note into an interdimensional portal asking the creatures on the other side for advise in protecting myself from raptors.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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Vytron
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Vytron » Thu Dec 20, 2012 10:32 pm UTC

The creatures on the other side were more raptors. They gave you wrong advice that got you eaten in record time!

I pray to the raptor god.
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
Cheers Marsh'n!

Your ad here. No, seriously! It's free! PM me if interested.
THANKS KARHELL!! :)

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marionic
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby marionic » Wed Dec 26, 2012 8:37 pm UTC

You are sent to raptor hell for praying without believing. You are eaten by the raptors being punished and sent to raptor hell. This continues for eternity.

I stir all the forum games together!
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Vytron » Thu Dec 27, 2012 10:36 pm UTC

You stir all the forum games together! It doesn't help you to escape from raptors, though, they find and eat you.

I wish all people were back from holidays and became more active in Forum Games.
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
Cheers Marsh'n!

Your ad here. No, seriously! It's free! PM me if interested.
THANKS KARHELL!! :)

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bug sniper
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby bug sniper » Fri Dec 28, 2012 5:59 am UTC

Granted. Despite the combined intellect of all the returned Christmas tourists in the world, we end up getting nowhere in the effort to save ourselves from raptors. Perhaps because we are all playing forum games.

>I run away from the raptors. Insta-6.
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby XTCamus » Fri Dec 28, 2012 9:11 pm UTC

You run away. Insta-6. But the raptors run faster. Insta-6. And, voila, Insta-meal.

I notice a thorn stuck in the poor raptor's foot... awwwwww. I gently remove it. We smile at each other. And then we become friends forever!

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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby marionic » Sat Dec 29, 2012 9:09 am UTC

Then his father finds out and eats both of you.

I call in for an air-strike.
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby eculc » Sun Dec 30, 2012 4:04 am UTC

you get hit by the airstrike.

I make a deal with the raptors: they will not kill me if I bring them 20 raptor-apocalypse survivors. I bring all of the people that have posted in this thread and hand them ovet to the raptors in exchange for my life.
Um, this post feels devoid of content. Good luck?
For comparison, that means that if the cabbage guy from Avatar: The Last Airbender filled up his cart with lettuce instead, it would be about a quarter of a lethal dose.

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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Vytron » Mon Dec 31, 2012 11:29 am UTC

It works! They eat all the people in the thread, except for you. However, you forgot to specify how much time they'd not kill you! So, two minutes later, they eat you. They broke the deal? Well, you brought much more people than 20, after all...

I invent an awesome video game, so addicting that the raptors play it all day and have no time left to eat people.

Spoiler:
bug sniper wrote:Granted. Despite the combined intellect of all the returned Christmas tourists in the world, we end up getting nowhere in the effort to save ourselves from raptors. Perhaps because we are all playing forum games.


Ha! I totally mixed this thread up with corrupt-a-wish halfway through my post! XD
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
Cheers Marsh'n!

Your ad here. No, seriously! It's free! PM me if interested.
THANKS KARHELL!! :)

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marionic
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby marionic » Mon Dec 31, 2012 10:28 pm UTC

They all pass the game too quickly and therefore now have time to kill you.

I use giant party poppers and aim them at the raptors' eyes.
Spoiler:
Vytron wrote:
bug sniper wrote:Granted. Despite the combined intellect of all the returned Christmas tourists in the world, we end up getting nowhere in the effort to save ourselves from raptors. Perhaps because we are all playing forum games.


Ha! I totally mixed this thread up with corrupt-a-wish halfway through my post! XD

It looks like I confused you by stirring the games together. Hooray!
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bug sniper
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby bug sniper » Sat Jan 05, 2013 8:22 am UTC

You get eaten by blind raptors with armored eyepatches.

>I hide from the raptors. Insta 6. (This means that I hide successfully from the raptors, excessively successfully in fact. If the next post says that the raptors ever find me, then it is completely incorrect and my survival will not have been invalidated.)
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marionic
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby marionic » Sat Jan 05, 2013 11:45 am UTC

The raptors destroy every possible place that one could hide. They never find your body.

After generations of preparation, I detonate the dominant bomb gene my ancestors planted inside the raptors of the past.
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eculc
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby eculc » Sat Jan 05, 2013 7:27 pm UTC

However, by this time the raptors had invented time travel. they send a raptor-bot into the past to kill the creator of the gene bomb before it is created.

I steal one of the raptor's time machines and travel into the past, before the raptor apocalypse. I live out my life without fear of the raptors.
Um, this post feels devoid of content. Good luck?
For comparison, that means that if the cabbage guy from Avatar: The Last Airbender filled up his cart with lettuce instead, it would be about a quarter of a lethal dose.

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marionic
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby marionic » Sat Jan 05, 2013 9:53 pm UTC

Granted, but the raptors have tracking devices on the time machines telling them what time they are going to. They track you down, travel to a couple of seconds before you arrive, and kill you instantly, taking the time machine back with them, giving them a great idea - they go back in time and prevent the evolution of man.

I don't exist as a human due to the above - I am naught but a stupid ape.
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Vytron
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Vytron » Mon Jan 07, 2013 5:26 am UTC

Being a naught and stupid ape, it's easier for the raptors to find you and kill you.

I escape from raptors.

/Thread
Go! Go! You can do it username5243!
Cheers Marsh'n!

Your ad here. No, seriously! It's free! PM me if interested.
THANKS KARHELL!! :)

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eculc
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Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby eculc » Mon Jan 07, 2013 12:04 pm UTC

the raptors catch you.

I travel back in time to change all humans into raptors. when the raptor "apocalypse" arrives, the raptors discover that there were no humans to begin with and decide to find another planet to conquer.
Um, this post feels devoid of content. Good luck?
For comparison, that means that if the cabbage guy from Avatar: The Last Airbender filled up his cart with lettuce instead, it would be about a quarter of a lethal dose.


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