Inanimate objects are by definition not alive, so therefore, you are already dead. And given that a tank has a very big blind spot behind itself, the raptors sneak up on you, and you can't kill them with your turret, because they are already inside, and are now pulling wires left and right, making sure you stay dead.
I make some food that's incredible addictive to raptors, and only I know the secret recipe, I barter a deal with them. If they let me live, I'll keep making this addictive food for them, free of charge.
You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.