Calvinball 2.0

For all your silly time-killing forum games.

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mind404
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby mind404 » Thu Jan 22, 2009 2:16 pm UTC

*kicks flaming Calvinball out of the "weird" zones and onto the normal field, on the green of the 45th yard, next to 5th plate*

steal 15 leadership points for effectiveness points, lands on double word score, x2 as effective, total point gain 30

+ 42 points for Topper

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Chainmaille, our best personal raptor defense wear

itaibn
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby itaibn » Thu Jan 22, 2009 9:03 pm UTC

Kaeyn wrote:Baieshmuf, logic doesn't exist in this game anyway. For misunderstanding, I decree you are sent to the Leglocked Zone until someone other than yourself decides to release you.
Actually still correct. Despite, or more likely because, of its illogicalness, logic stopped existing even though it never existed in the first place. For making such a logical remark, I lose ~~ points.
I NEVER use all-caps.

baieshmuf327
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby baieshmuf327 » Fri Jan 23, 2009 12:40 am UTC

Kaeyn wrote:Baieshmuf, logic doesn't exist in this game anyway. For misunderstanding, I decree you are sent to the Leglocked Zone until someone other than yourself decides to release you.

As nobody knows where the Calvinball has gone, we must all jump roll around using barrels until somebody finds it.

Leadership points: 15

Well, that would be the logical thing to do, O Leader. However, logic doesn't exist. Therefore, you lose your leadership, replace me in the Leglocked Zone, are bound by the same laws, and to avoid further confusion, I invoke Overitalicizial Logical Reset and restore logic. Seeing as I restored logic through illogic, 20 Permanent Illogic Points are rewarded to me. There are only 20 in all of existence, cannot be deleted, and are collector's items that increase in value over time(Perchance one could steal them somehow?).
P.S: How did you intend to leglock me when I exist through brainwaves?

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Maseiken
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby Maseiken » Fri Jan 23, 2009 3:16 am UTC

I kick back and chillax.
15 Cool Points!
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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RedWolf
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby RedWolf » Fri Jan 23, 2009 3:21 am UTC

I decide to free Baieshmuf.

Generosity points: 20

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Chfan
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby Chfan » Fri Jan 23, 2009 11:34 am UTC

Maseiken wrote:I kick back and chillax.
15 Cool Points!


I misread that as "climax."

8A creepy points for me!
Just FYI, the guy isn't avatar isn't me. But he seems pretty cool.

baieshmuf327
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby baieshmuf327 » Sat Jan 24, 2009 8:22 pm UTC

RedWolf wrote:I decide to free Baieshmuf.

Generosity points: 20

I have friends! Woo!
Remember that indeterminate point in DAH FYOOCHAH where the Calvinball went? It seems that that point was now, but its trip made it gain life and thoughts. Seeing as I am brainwaves, I possess (overtake) it, thus i possess (own) it. I promptly go DENNIS, passing YE FLASK.

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-KF-
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby -KF- » Sun Jan 25, 2009 2:09 am UTC

You enter Ye Sandwiche Shoppe and are crushed by spiked walls.

I declare a rule that any further references to HSR are punishable by being submerged in the rain barrel for an undisclosed period of time.

itaibn
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby itaibn » Sun Jan 25, 2009 2:36 am UTC

I refrence HSR and gain 7*bravery points.

Total points: sqrt(omega)+7*bravery-~~-QWERTY.
I NEVER use all-caps.

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-KF-
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby -KF- » Mon Jan 26, 2009 10:11 pm UTC

You are hit in the head with the Calvinball for improper use of asterisks.

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Cytoplasm
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby Cytoplasm » Mon Jan 26, 2009 10:29 pm UTC

I get past the sandbox which means everyone must keep their two pointer fingers on their noses while running!
¡No tengo miedo a fantasmas!

Spoiler:
Cytoplasm: I have catoragized some of my family into lolcats.
Felstaff: For a drudging Thursday afternoon, that level of cuteness has really made my day. Can... Can I keep you?

Felstaff wrote:
Cytoplasm wrote:shannonigans

<3

baieshmuf327
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby baieshmuf327 » Tue Jan 27, 2009 1:28 pm UTC

Cytoplasm wrote:I get past the sandbox which means everyone must keep their two pointer fingers on their noses while running!

The sandbox you are referring to just so happens to have sand sharks. They rub all up in your business dawg, and their sandpaper-esque scales hurt you enough to be classified "some slight discomfort" in doctor terms. However it appears -KF- has the Calvinball, so I'm not entirely sure why I'm making such a big deal.
Also, I totally steal -KF-'s body. SHUT UP I CAN DO THAT.

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quintopia
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby quintopia » Tue Jan 27, 2009 1:41 pm UTC

I telepathically materialize a giant vacuum cleaner that sucks anything calvinball-like towards me.

Also, there is no such thing as a <Fillintheblank> Zone any more, and it is hereby illegal to directly contradict anything the previous poster said. This No Contradictions rule is permanent and unchangeable.

(Indeed, the first rule of improv comedy is to never say 'no' . . . but you knew this already.)

itaibn
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby itaibn » Tue Jan 27, 2009 9:14 pm UTC

I change the first rule of improv so that you can say no.

edit/add: Also, a giant mob attacks you for ruining the game.
I NEVER use all-caps.

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-KF-
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby -KF- » Tue Jan 27, 2009 10:40 pm UTC

Unfortunately for baieshmuf327, he runs into the counterthievery pole by mistake, allowing me to steal back my body. And you'll notice I never said I had the Calvinball. I only said that itaibn got hit with it.

quintopia wrote:Indeed, the first rule of improv comedy is to never say 'no' . . . but you knew this already.

1. That's not true. The rule is "Do not negate unless doing so would compromise your character onstage." Not 'never say no;' that's just ridiculous. You apparently do not do improv comedy.
2. Calvinball is not improv comedy. If you ever read Calvin & Hobbes, you would know that negation is exactly the point of the game.

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quintopia
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby quintopia » Wed Jan 28, 2009 3:02 am UTC

-KF- wrote:1. That's not true. The rule is "Do not negate unless doing so would compromise your character onstage." Not 'never say no;' that's just ridiculous. You apparently do not do improv comedy.

So wordy. You can see why I didn't state the full legal definition of rule #1. Automatic loss of ten zarbnak points for taking this game too seriously.
-KF- wrote:2. Calvinball is not improv comedy. If you ever read Calvin & Hobbes, you would know that negation is exactly the point of the game.

This is a perfectly valid contradiction, since I didn't post immediately before you. You gain 3 argumentation augmentations.

Also, there's a ball of some sort lying next to my feet. Anyone want it?

itaibn
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby itaibn » Wed Jan 28, 2009 4:35 am UTC

quintopia wrote:Also, there's a ball of some sort lying next to my feet. Anyone want it?
Cinnamon!
I NEVER use all-caps.

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-KF-
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby -KF- » Sat Jan 31, 2009 12:16 am UTC

I hit you with a bag of assorted spices, grab the ball, and run. I get 3 snap decision credits. Also, for my incredible knowledge of improv comedy, I am awarded 12 legalism points (which is worth much more than 10 zarbnak points)

baieshmuf327
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby baieshmuf327 » Sun Feb 01, 2009 12:13 am UTC

-KF- wrote:I hit you with a bag of assorted spices, grab the ball, and run. I get 3 snap decision credits. Also, for my incredible knowledge of improv comedy, I am awarded 12 legalism points (which is worth much more than 10 zarbnak points)

ANN-ARK-KEY! Your legalism no longer exists(is there a defined law or government in Calvinball? Pause for thought?). I gain 10 Nonconformist points(I don't listen to anyone but crap bands and faux-punk highschoolers!)

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Chfan
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby Chfan » Sun Feb 01, 2009 3:49 am UTC

I grab a boom box and play Joshua Radin's rendition of the Sesame Street theme. Everyone balls up on the ground and cries, and I steal the Calvinball.

Josh00a points!
Just FYI, the guy isn't avatar isn't me. But he seems pretty cool.

itaibn
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby itaibn » Sun Feb 01, 2009 3:57 am UTC

I have nothing to say but post anyways, making me lose 1 originality point.

Total points:sqrt(omega)+7*bravery-~~-QWERTY-originality
I NEVER use all-caps.

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quintopia
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby quintopia » Mon Feb 02, 2009 12:40 am UTC

I throw the reset-all-points-to-zero ball at itaibn. Having come in contact with the ball, I now am reset to zero as well.

Ralith The Third
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby Ralith The Third » Mon Feb 02, 2009 12:44 am UTC

I drop out of the sky and join the game, landing in the area of abstinence- everyone must abstain from gripping anything for the next 5 minutes.
Omni.

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thecamoninja
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby thecamoninja » Mon Feb 02, 2009 3:15 am UTC

I wear a fedora
Plus 10 badass points
Formerly known as Camoninja
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quintopia
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby quintopia » Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:58 pm UTC

The area of abstinence is in flux! Finger on your nose until someone finds a 4-coloring of the graph of all areas in play!

Flamerunner
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby Flamerunner » Fri Feb 06, 2009 8:05 am UTC

I set all points to zero, and make it a rule that you cannot overturn previous rules from now on.

I steal the calvinball and start running.

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Rufaellie
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby Rufaellie » Fri Feb 06, 2009 9:07 am UTC

Ah, but you weren't standing in the Special Rule Making Zone when you made that rule, which I have activated by touching the activation pole 1 hour and ten minutes ago. You have to hand over the Calvinball and sing the G.R.O.S.S. anthem!
Rufaellie wrote:I think at least twice.

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Actaeus
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby Actaeus » Fri Feb 06, 2009 7:00 pm UTC

I use the Longevity Clause of T.L.D.R. to bypass previous rules and jump straight into the Gopher Zone.

I tunnel to the Calvinball and pick up a +10 Previous Game bonus, allowing me to restore last game's inventory:

INVENTORY:
1 "Calvinball Championships 2008" baseball cap
3/4 bag of T-Rex dung
1 Single-layer post-sandwich CalvinBONUS
2 banana peels
1 mechanana (low on ammo)
Some miscellaneous junk
1 hairsplitting point
1 iambic quatrain
1 misunderstanding
1 Generous Gamers Point
5 cents
1 magic carpet
1 Page Topper Point
1 veteran point
1 yo-yo
2 Calvinballs
1 +10 Previous Game bonus

Technically, ekz had last game's ball but he hasn't claimed it so he'll have to wait 5 to 10 business years at the Baggage Claim Flag.

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branan
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby branan » Fri Feb 06, 2009 7:19 pm UTC

I appear in a beam of blue sparkles, stun Actaeus with my phaser, and beam back to my ship with the calvinball.

I get [imath]\Delta X \Delta P[/imath] Heisenberg points
joshz wrote:So, therefore, by transitive property, AIDS is responsible for racism!

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Actaeus
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby Actaeus » Fri Feb 06, 2009 7:42 pm UTC

Bzzzt...

Well, I still have last game's, and under the Electron Shell Zone's rules, if I can run there fast enough the Calvinball-holder with the most negative net charge gets to keep his!

You lose your ball, and mine is in play. Paradox resolved.

INVENTORY:
1 "Calvinball Championships 2008" baseball cap
3/4 bag of T-Rex dung
1 Single-layer post-sandwich CalvinBONUS
2 banana peels
1 mechanana (low on ammo)
Some miscellaneous junk
1 hairsplitting point
1 iambic quatrain
1 misunderstanding
1 Generous Gamers Point
5 cents
1 magic carpet
1 Page Topper Point
1 veteran point
1 yo-yo
1 +10 Previous Game bonus
1000000000 extra electrons
1 Calvinball

itaibn
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby itaibn » Fri Feb 06, 2009 9:04 pm UTC

I make up a new rule, giving me some advantage over everybody else.
I NEVER use all-caps.

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Actaeus
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby Actaeus » Fri Feb 06, 2009 11:17 pm UTC

itaibn wrote:I make up a new rule, giving me some advantage over everybody else.

You win a metapoint!
So do I, for pointing it out.

INVENTORY:
1 "Calvinball Championships 2008" baseball cap
3/4 bag of T-Rex dung
1 Single-layer post-sandwich CalvinBONUS
2 banana peels
1 mechanana (low on ammo)
Some miscellaneous junk
1 hairsplitting point
1 iambic quatrain
1 misunderstanding
1 Generous Gamers Point
5 cents
1 magic carpet
1 Page Topper Point
1 veteran point
1 yo-yo
1 +10 Previous Game bonus
1000000000 extra electrons
1 Calvinball
1 metapoint

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a386
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby a386 » Sun Feb 08, 2009 7:01 am UTC

I pick Actaeus's pocket!
I am used to searching for coins in a pocket, having grown up a loveable young scruff in the shipping district of a seventeenth century British port town, and in the heat of the Calvinball match i fall back on my instincts.

INVENTORY: five cents

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DeLink
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby DeLink » Sun Feb 08, 2009 3:12 pm UTC

Since your the richest, you are in the Rich class zone. Everyone in the middle/lower class beats you up, while I take the calvin ball.
As a famous researcher once said" F*** your theory"

"Rock is Overpowered, Paper is fine." - Scissors

"So listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today"- Spy

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Chfan
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby Chfan » Sun Feb 08, 2009 4:07 pm UTC

I beat up DeLink for the Calvinball, and since I'm in the Ballrulemakesense Zone, I declare inventories to be null and void. You can't play the same way twice, actaeus. You know that.
Just FYI, the guy isn't avatar isn't me. But he seems pretty cool.

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a386
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby a386 » Sun Feb 08, 2009 4:17 pm UTC

I, inventories being void, am no longer rich! Class structures collapse, anger dissolves, and peace and harmony reign throughout the zones.

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Actaeus
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby Actaeus » Sun Feb 08, 2009 4:31 pm UTC

a386 wrote:I, inventories being void, am no longer rich! Class structures collapse, anger dissolves, and peace and harmony reign throughout the zones.

I become leader of the new Dictatorship of the Proletariat ("Eventually, You Won't Need Us!TM") and repossess my inventory for the good of the People.

I use my mechanana to purge Chfan with a high-speed banana peel, and turn all zones into Don't Question Big Brother Zones.
I run around the Free Speech Flag, and flip it upside down into a Propaganda Flag.

I win a Historical Reference Point.

INVENTORY:
1 "Calvinball Championships 2008" baseball cap
3/4 bag of T-Rex dung
1 Single-layer post-sandwich CalvinBONUS
1 banana peel
1 mechanana (low on ammo)
Some miscellaneous junk
1 hairsplitting point
1 iambic quatrain
1 misunderstanding
1 Generous Gamers Point
1 magic carpet
1 Page Topper Point
1 veteran point
1 yo-yo
1 +10 Previous Game bonus
1000000000 extra electrons
1 Calvinball
1 metapoint
Unlimited authority
1 Historical Reference point

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Chfan
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby Chfan » Sun Feb 08, 2009 4:59 pm UTC

Actaeus has broken the number One rule of Calvinball: Don't play the same way twice. Tough luck. He loses all points and items.
Just FYI, the guy isn't avatar isn't me. But he seems pretty cool.

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thecamoninja
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby thecamoninja » Sun Feb 08, 2009 5:01 pm UTC

wait- but its already happened that someone's lost all points, meaning you're trying to play the same way twice, as well! What happens to you?
Formerly known as Camoninja
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Chfan
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Re: Calvinball 2.0

Postby Chfan » Sun Feb 08, 2009 5:06 pm UTC

Actually, someone lost all points for a different reason that time so it doesn't count.

I gain Q Lawyer-Style Wriggling points.
Just FYI, the guy isn't avatar isn't me. But he seems pretty cool.


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