Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

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RollingHead
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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby RollingHead » Tue Apr 08, 2014 10:49 pm UTC

I have a nail clipper right next to my laptop. If you mean actual nail scissors I can get to those too but I can't manage to cut my nails with them even though that's what they're for.

A bucket and a mop?

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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby Neil_Boekend » Wed Apr 09, 2014 6:36 am UTC

yes.

A chainsaw?
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby patzer » Wed Apr 09, 2014 9:20 am UTC

I don't think so. There are plenty of tools in my dad's shed, but I don't think a chainsaw is one of them.

A food that you cooked?
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands. –Douglas Adams

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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby Neil_Boekend » Wed Apr 09, 2014 10:34 am UTC

Yes, if bread baked in a bread making machine counts.

Images of a NSFW nature?
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby RollingHead » Wed Apr 09, 2014 8:31 pm UTC

I assume googling them doesn't count. What about saved on my hard drive? If you want a paper image, it depends how NSFW you mean: I can give you Cosmopolitan's weird photos (such as a woman "seductively" eating a noodle in lingerie) or a drawing of a bare farting butt I made during a boring class. I thought I had better drawings lying around but I can't remember where I put them.

Can you find a battery charger for a device you no longer have?

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kalira
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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby kalira » Thu Apr 10, 2014 8:15 pm UTC

No, I'm far more likely to have kept the device and lost the charger somewhere.

Something you own whose theoretical value you have looked up on ebay before?
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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby Tomlidich the second » Thu Apr 10, 2014 10:39 pm UTC

hmm... kidneys... lungs.... Oh hey, an old laptop. yes.



A physical, paper copy of any XKCD comic?
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patzer
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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby patzer » Fri Apr 11, 2014 3:02 am UTC

No.

Something you've never seen before?
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands. –Douglas Adams

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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby voicedotter » Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:47 am UTC

nope.


A magic the gathering centaur token?

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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri Apr 11, 2014 5:14 pm UTC

Nope.

A can of electronics cleaner?
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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby Yablo » Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:08 pm UTC

Three cans, three different brands, and each of them at least partially used.

How about a mouse pad with an image?
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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby patzer » Sat Apr 12, 2014 5:40 am UTC

Probably. But it would involve going head-first into a dark dust-filled attic full of old computer parts, which I do not want to do.

Something rainbow-colored?
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands. –Douglas Adams

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RollingHead
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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby RollingHead » Sat Apr 12, 2014 6:29 pm UTC

Yes, a pair of socks.

A hammer?

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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby Neil_Boekend » Mon Apr 14, 2014 5:57 am UTC

Not quite, although I could attempt to use my colleagues head as a hammer.

A theory for an FTL engine that is both testable on earth and possible to build given current technologies.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby Whizbang » Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:02 pm UTC

No.

Semen.

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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby patzer » Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:23 pm UTC

No. well I guess theoretically yes, as there's a screwdriver nearby...

Vomit?
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands. –Douglas Adams

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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon Apr 14, 2014 4:09 pm UTC

I mean, I could, but thats a bigger mess than I feel like cleaning up today, so no.

A condom?
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RollingHead
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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby RollingHead » Mon Apr 14, 2014 6:55 pm UTC

I have half a box.

A pair of jeans with at least one hole in them?

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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby Yablo » Tue Apr 15, 2014 12:01 am UTC

I only own khakis and pajama pants. Odds are good that one of our IT guys is closer than 15 seconds away, and they're almost a lock for jeans with a hole.

Can you find a pair of cut-off jean shorts where the pockets hang lower than the leg holes?
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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby Neil_Boekend » Tue Apr 15, 2014 9:30 am UTC

Nope.

Can you find a pair of stretchpants?
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon Apr 21, 2014 11:26 pm UTC

If my receptionist was here, yes, i think she may get upset about me running over there and grabbing her legs though....

Something that smells suspiciously of grease/oil?
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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby Neil_Boekend » Tue Apr 22, 2014 7:13 am UTC

Not suspiciously. My bike chain smells of grease, as it should.

A remote control?
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

zighier
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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby zighier » Tue Apr 22, 2014 1:03 pm UTC

I'm using a TV as a second monitor, and the remote is right here.

Plastic cutlery?

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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby Whizbang » Tue Apr 22, 2014 1:34 pm UTC

Yes. Spoon I used to stir my coffee from the breakroom.

Dry-Erase marker?

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RollingHead
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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby RollingHead » Tue Apr 22, 2014 2:44 pm UTC

Yup.

Someone else's toothbrush?

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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby Tomlidich the second » Tue Apr 22, 2014 7:06 pm UTC

Im pretty sure noone here keeps a toothbrush in their desk.

Photo of a loved one?
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patzer
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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby patzer » Tue Apr 22, 2014 8:58 pm UTC

Got a photo of my dad, sister and I fishing for plastic ducks.

Something that nobody apart from you knows that you have?
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands. –Douglas Adams

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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby Tomlidich the second » Wed Apr 23, 2014 4:18 pm UTC

Got a power bar in my desk i assume noone knows about. (unless people are going through my desk again)

Something made of silver?
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RollingHead
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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby RollingHead » Wed Apr 23, 2014 8:29 pm UTC

Yes, the ring I'm wearing.

Bubble wrap?

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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby Tomlidich the second » Thu Apr 24, 2014 2:52 pm UTC

Tons of it, in all directions.

A ballpoint pen with a company emblem on it? (promotional material type stuff)
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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby Neil_Boekend » Fri Apr 25, 2014 6:56 am UTC

Yes, it's between me and my keyboard.

An object that can be used as effective defense against zombieraptors?
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri Apr 25, 2014 5:09 pm UTC

Nothing makes an effective defense against raptors, much less zombie raptors. though if i had to choose from what i had, i suppose My pocket knife will do in a pinch.

An effective weapon against ordinary zombies walkers?
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Whizbang
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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby Whizbang » Fri Apr 25, 2014 6:14 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:An effective weapon against ordinary zombies walkers?


I am not sure what this means, but I do have a pen, and a pen is mightier than a sword, so... Well, probably not. A pen really is a shitty weapon.

Fresh air and sunshine?

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patzer
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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby patzer » Fri Apr 25, 2014 6:21 pm UTC

Fresh air, yes. But it's cloudy, so no sunshine.

Something you are embarrassed that you own?
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands. –Douglas Adams

FLHerne
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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby FLHerne » Sat Apr 26, 2014 11:39 am UTC

A small guitar, that I've had for years but still haven't learnt to play.

A book printed more than 60 years ago?

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RollingHead
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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby RollingHead » Mon Apr 28, 2014 7:11 pm UTC

I found one from 1943.

Something you should probably throw away but you keep thinking that someday you'll fine a use for it?

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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby oxoiron » Mon Apr 28, 2014 7:13 pm UTC

Two chemistry books (1936 and 1947). I like seeing how things have changed.

A paper copy of a loved one's picture?

EDIT: That was for the old books question, but it works for this, too.
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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon Apr 28, 2014 11:12 pm UTC

I believe I already asked that above, but yes, in my dads office are various pictures of me, my sis, my dad, and others.

Got any hentai?
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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby Neil_Boekend » Tue Apr 29, 2014 5:28 am UTC

Nope, I'm at work.

Got milk?
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Re: Can you produce [X] in less than 15 seconds?

Postby Tomlidich the second » Tue Apr 29, 2014 10:34 pm UTC

suppose i could leap down about 3 floors worth of stairs, run into the cafe on the ground floor, and grab a carton, but the number of thigns that can go wrong in that sequence of 15 seconds is high.

Got an empty container you are keeping so you remember to go get that thing?
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