Misquote-a-Wish!

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chridd
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby chridd » Wed Apr 10, 2013 8:20 pm UTC

mittfh wrote:I wish this post was very quotable...
Granted. It was so quotable that I quoted it in my signature.

I wish this post was unmisquotable.
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mittfh wrote:I wish this post was very quotable...

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dudiobugtron » Wed Apr 10, 2013 8:58 pm UTC

You wish the post was unquotable? Why would you do that?

Anyway, granted.

I wish this post was a misquote.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby chridd » Wed Apr 10, 2013 10:41 pm UTC

dudiobugtron wrote:
I wish this post was a quote.
I can't edit your posts, but I did the best I could.

I wish it were summer.
~ chri d. d. /tʃɹɪ.di.di/ (Phonotactics, schmphonotactics) · she · Forum game scores
mittfh wrote:I wish this post was very quotable...

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby mittfh » Wed Apr 10, 2013 10:52 pm UTC

chridd wrote:I wish it was winter.


Congratulations! The cold weather is due to hang around for the next few weeks :)


I wish this wish was palindromic...

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bug sniper
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby bug sniper » Sat Apr 13, 2013 6:51 am UTC

mittfh wrote:I wish this fish was parasitic


Granted. You have SCP-1092.
I wish I knew more about the SCP foundation.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby ArDeeJ » Sat Apr 13, 2013 9:52 pm UTC

bug sniper wrote:I wish I worked for the SCP foundation.

Granted. By Protocol 12, you're hired as class D personnel.

I wish I wasn't so creeped out by the SCP.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby mittfh » Sat Apr 13, 2013 10:00 pm UTC

I wish I wasn't so creeped out by the DNA.


Congratulations - you now understand exactly how Deoxyribonucleic acid works. Unfortunately the wish has had the side effect of making you break into maniacal evil cackles whenever you think about how to apply your newfound knowledge. Oh, I've heard that genie over there does a line in evil lair wishes...

I wish superpowers were real.

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby marionic » Sun Apr 14, 2013 8:15 am UTC

mittfh wrote:I wish superpowers were seals.

Granted. Every seal is a superpower, so the governments of different countries start killing seals so that nobody can obtain superpowers.

I wish I had a seal.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby ArDeeJ » Sun Apr 14, 2013 8:55 am UTC

marionic wrote:I wish I had a seal club.
Granted, you have your very own club of cute seals! :3
You also have a seal club to club the seals with.

I wish marionic didn't club the cute innocent seals to death.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby marionic » Sun Apr 14, 2013 9:17 am UTC

ArDeeJ wrote:I wish marionic did club the cute innocent seals to death.

Granted. My previously untouched seal club that has gathered dust due to me not being a seal killer is now being used be me to beat seal after seal.

I wish more people approved of my seal clubbing.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby bug sniper » Mon Apr 15, 2013 1:18 am UTC

marionic wrote:I wish more people approved of my eel rubbing.


Granted. Everyone wants you to electrocute yourself now.

I wish I could have been a student at Hogwarts.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon Apr 15, 2013 6:09 pm UTC

bug sniper wrote:
I wish I could have been a janitor at Hogwarts.


granted, you now have to clean up approxiamtely ten gallons of troll slime.


i wish i was a motorcycle.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby mittfh » Tue Apr 16, 2013 12:28 pm UTC

i wish i was a pedal cycle.


Granted! You're now a racing bike and are due to have the workout of your life with Team Sky in this year's TdF.

I wish I had enough stamina to cycle up hills...

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby marionic » Tue Apr 16, 2013 1:50 pm UTC

mittfh wrote:I wish I had enough stamina to slice up a seal...


Granted. I'm glad I'm not the only one that likes hurting seals.

I wish I didn't ever have to sneeze.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby ArDeeJ » Tue Apr 16, 2013 2:28 pm UTC

marionic wrote:I wish I didn't ever have to SCP.
Sorry, one does not simply leave The Foundation. However, I could get you demoted to Class D personnel. Almost as good, innit? :D

I wish I could write a good SCP.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby orangedragonfire » Tue Apr 16, 2013 8:23 pm UTC

ArDeeJ wrote:Ai wiish I culd rwite an goud sentnce.

I can see why you want that... fine, granted. You can now write one good sentence. Use it well, because you only get one.

I wish I could see which sentence ArDeeJ chooses.

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby marionic » Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:27 am UTC

orangedragonfire wrote:I wish I could see which sentence ArDeeJ gets.

Granted, ArDeeJ is sentenced to life.

I wish that nobody could notice me unless I purposely draw attention to myself.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon Apr 22, 2013 4:34 pm UTC

marionic wrote:
I wish that nobody could notice me unless I purposely draw myself.


granted, you must constantly carry around a sketch pad and pencil for anyone to notice you.

i wish owning a car wasn't so stressful.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dudiobugtron » Tue Apr 23, 2013 3:21 am UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:I wish owing a car wasn't so stressful.

Granted. You pay the car you owe, and now you have no car to worry about either! That's two problems solved at once. What a stress-free solution.

I wish that cars were made out of smaller cars.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby marionic » Tue Apr 23, 2013 12:42 pm UTC

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish that Mars was made out of salad bars.

Granted. Mars is now the best planet ever! I can't wait to hear what the first man on Mars will say about it!

I wish misquoted wishes gave such good results more often.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dudiobugtron » Tue Apr 23, 2013 12:53 pm UTC

marionic wrote:I wish to see "misquoted Winston Churchill" Google search results more often.

Granted.

I wish that this smiley :| looked more neutral.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby marionic » Tue Apr 23, 2013 4:40 pm UTC

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish that this smiley :) looked more neutral.

Granted, now you can use this one: :| It's not entirely neutral, but it's more neutral than :) .

I wish people would make more useful wishes.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby yuehaoxuanar » Wed Apr 24, 2013 3:35 pm UTC

marionic wrote:I wish people would make more useless dishes.

Granted, here comes a pie to your face. (*splut*). :lol:

I wish I can get a flying car.

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby marionic » Wed Apr 24, 2013 3:44 pm UTC

yuehaoxuanar wrote:I wish I can go flying far.

Granted. For splutting me with pie, I load you into my cannon and send you flying to the other side of the circus tent. The other side is pretty far away.

I wish yuehaoxuanar and I had a much bigger audience.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri Apr 26, 2013 5:03 pm UTC

marionic wrote:I wish justin bieber had a much bigger audience.


you...... what have you done?


i wish for a golden unicorn.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Pingouin7 » Fri Apr 26, 2013 6:06 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:I wish for gold and one acorn.

Granted.

I wish you told us what you wanted the acorn for.
Dason wrote:
Kewangji wrote:I confess I am actually scared of peanuts, and tend to avoid them, given how lethal they are to some people.

I'm not. I do my part in the fight against peanuts by destroying them with my powerful teeth. Take that peanut! How does being digested feel!?

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon Apr 29, 2013 4:25 pm UTC

Pingouin7 wrote:
I wish you told us what you wanted the corn for.

to make exploding cobs of corn that burn your house down. sorry mate.

i wish for a glass of ice cold rootbeer.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby mittfh » Mon Apr 29, 2013 6:34 pm UTC

i wish for a glass of warm rootbeer.


Why you'd want it served warm is anyone's guess, but granted nonetheless.

I wish I was holding a nice big glass of wine.

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dudiobugtron » Tue Apr 30, 2013 9:36 am UTC

mittfh wrote:I wish I was holding a nice big class on wine.

Granted. All 300 students are waiting for the class to begin. You should have prepared a bit better. :P

I wish I was attending mittfh's wine class.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Tue Apr 30, 2013 8:56 pm UTC

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish I was serving mittfh's wine class.


granted, for the entirety of the class, you must serve wine to the class of 300.


i wish for a rubber coconut
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby bug sniper » Wed May 01, 2013 7:29 am UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:i wish for a rubber cocoa nut


Granted. I admit, a chocolate-covered peanut is yummy, but this one has a composition more like taffy.

I wish I had a furry tail.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby mittfh » Wed May 01, 2013 8:01 am UTC

bug sniper wrote:I wish I had a funny tail.


Granted - said appendage causes much amusement in all those who see it.

I wish I had enough wine to distribute to my students...

(i.e. those students in the wine class I'm supposedly leading from a few posts ago - let's get our collective wish-granting genie even more intoxicated than at present!)

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Pingouin7 » Wed May 01, 2013 1:55 pm UTC

mittfh wrote:I wish I had enough win to distribute to my students...

Okay, you now have enough gold medals for all your students to have one.

I wish our collective wish-granting genie was even more intoxicated than at present.
Dason wrote:
Kewangji wrote:I confess I am actually scared of peanuts, and tend to avoid them, given how lethal they are to some people.

I'm not. I do my part in the fight against peanuts by destroying them with my powerful teeth. Take that peanut! How does being digested feel!?

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dudiobugtron » Wed May 01, 2013 9:42 pm UTC

Pingouin7 wrote:I wish our collective wish-granting genie was even more aggrivated than at present.

Fine... Granted! OK? You people make me sick! Can't you just grant your own wishes? For the love of....

I wish the wish-granting genie would just take a chill pill.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Wed May 01, 2013 11:48 pm UTC

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish the wish-granting genie would just take LSD.


Granted, you stupid tree! stop eating those poor bunny rabbits!

i wish the genie would begin heavily drinking
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby mittfh » Thu May 02, 2013 7:45 am UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:i wish the genie would begin heavily driving


Granted! You'd better watch out, because that rumbling you can hear is a 70 ton juggernaut1 heading in your direction with a slightly intoxicated genie at the wheel.

[1] Colloquial British English for a large semi-trailer / articulated lorry / big rig - you get the idea.

I wish Tomlidich II wasn't in danger of being squashed by the genie's juggernaut.

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Thu May 02, 2013 10:38 pm UTC

mittfh wrote:I wish Tomlidich II wasn't in danger of being picked up by the genie's juggernaut.


granted, me and the genie are now riding in the cab, ready to mow some people down.

i wish for flamethrowers on this lorry.

*sidenote* is it bad that as an american, i watch so much british television, i understood that jargon almost immeadiately?
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby marionic » Sat May 04, 2013 8:47 am UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:i wish for flamethrowers on the lottery.


Granted, someone who dislikes you wins a flame-thrower from the lottery and kills you with it.

I wish to win a flame-thrower in the lottery.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dudiobugtron » Sun May 05, 2013 5:30 am UTC

marionic wrote:I wish to win a flame-war in this thread.

Granted, f*cknuts. Yeah you heard me.
Actually that was uncalled for. I'm sorry. You win.

I wish that flame war was less one-sided.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby ArDeeJ » Sun May 05, 2013 9:43 am UTC

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish that flame war was less single-minded.
Granted. You develop dissociative identity disorder and have a flame war with your many side personas.

I wish I could make good interactive fiction with Twine à la Porpentine.
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