Misquote-a-Wish!

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon May 06, 2013 10:43 pm UTC

ArDeeJ wrote:I wish I could make good interactive fiction with twine and a porcupine.

granted, you make a short story about a porcupine and a ball of twine. it is so dull however, almost no copies are sold.

i wish for a gold toothpick
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dudiobugtron
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dudiobugtron » Mon May 06, 2013 11:22 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:I wish for a gold-tooth pick

Granted. A pick you can only use on gold teeth. Enjoy.

I wish for a knife that can cut in four dimensions.
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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Tue May 07, 2013 5:32 pm UTC

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish for a knife that can cut in four directions.

granted, it cuts in four different directions at once, one of them always being towards yourself. here, have a band aid.


i wish for some more sleep.
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ArDeeJ
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby ArDeeJ » Wed May 08, 2013 7:27 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:i wish for a sore mom sleeping.

Granted. I'll leave you two alone.

I wish I could easily identify time signatures.
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marionic
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby marionic » Sat May 11, 2013 6:45 am UTC

ArDeeJ wrote:I wish I could easily identify tie signatures.

Granted. People struggle to write signatures with their tie, but you can tell whose signature it is despite that.

I wish to literally find a rainbow of opportunity.
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bug sniper
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby bug sniper » Sun May 12, 2013 12:01 am UTC

marionic wrote:I wish to literally find a rainbow of opportunists.


Granted. You come to a rainbow theme park. You have to pay $30 to get in. Once there, the food suppliers charge you $10 for a bag of chips and $20 for a hamburger.

I wish for Gangnam Style to start playing.
Last edited by bug sniper on Sat May 25, 2013 1:29 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon May 13, 2013 4:38 pm UTC

bug sniper wrote:I wish for Gangnam Style to start praying.


granted, you are instantly transported to the holy church of PSY, where everyone is praying.

i wish for a fuller beard.
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Xantix
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Xantix » Tue May 14, 2013 7:34 am UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:i wish for a duller beard.


Granted. It is now so dull that coral gets bored.

I wish for Italian ice cream.

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dudiobugtron
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dudiobugtron » Tue May 14, 2013 8:59 am UTC

Xantix wrote:I wish for italicized cream.

Granted. :)

I wish that all of my dreams came true.
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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Tue May 14, 2013 6:15 pm UTC

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish that all of my nightmares came true.

Granted muhahaha


i wish for softer kleenex
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bug sniper
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby bug sniper » Thu May 16, 2013 7:49 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:i wish for stouter keen ex.


Grented. Your ex is now keen on making sure that nobody ever finds you attractive again.

I wish I could travel across the galaxy by warping through hyperspace.
Last edited by bug sniper on Thu May 16, 2013 9:31 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dudiobugtron » Thu May 16, 2013 7:59 pm UTC

bug sniper wrote:I wish I could travel across the galaxy by warping through my face.

Granted. Yes it's as uncomfortable, painful and physically unrealistic as it sounds. Just don't tell anyone about it or they'll want to travel through your face too.

I wish that time wasn't an illusion.
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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Thu May 16, 2013 11:48 pm UTC

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish that time was an ill fusion.

granted, time sneezes and fuses you to wil wheaton.

i wish for a completely ordinary can of coke.
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bug sniper
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby bug sniper » Sat May 18, 2013 6:24 am UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:i wish for a completely ordinary can of cake.


Granted. You would have been better off just getting freeze-dried ice cream though, if you wanted a dessert with a long shelf life.

I wish for freeze-dried ice cream.
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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon May 20, 2013 5:07 pm UTC

bug sniper wrote:I wish for free dried ice cream.

granted, there is a nice dried puddle of what used to be ice cream on the pavement outside your house, its free for you to give it a lick!

i wish for an awesome supercomputer
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Amianym
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Amianym » Mon May 20, 2013 5:20 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:i wish for an awesome suppercomputer
Granted. After dinner tonight, you'll be having a cake in the shape of the original iMac.

I wish for every room in my house to have a ceiling fan.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon May 20, 2013 5:23 pm UTC

Amianym wrote:
Tomlidich the second wrote:i wish for an awesome suppercomputer
Granted. After dinner tonight, you'll be having a cake in the shape of the original iMac.
.

this is actually not objectionable, i like cake. :)

Amianym wrote:I wish for every room in my house to have a ceiling fat.

granted, a mysterious bag of fat appears on the ceiling of every room in your house.

i wish for an awesome main course for my suppercomputer
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chridd
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby chridd » Mon May 20, 2013 5:28 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:I wish for an awesome programming course for my supercomputer
Granted. You are now enrolled at a college to get a computer science degree.

I wish I had a cake that looks like the original iMac.
~ chri d. d. /tʃɹɪ.di.di/ (Phonotactics, schmphonotactics) · she · Forum game scores
mittfh wrote:I wish this post was very quotable...

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Amianym
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Amianym » Mon May 20, 2013 5:30 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:i wish for an awesome main horse for my suppercomputer

Granted. Your suppercomputer has filked all your savings for betting at the races, favoring a horse named Pinhole Shades, who keeps losing despite the odds. You are left destitute.

I wish for a jug of iced tea.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon May 20, 2013 5:44 pm UTC

chridd wrote:
Tomlidich the second wrote:I wish for an awesome programming course for my supercomputer
Granted. You are now enrolled at a college to get a computer science degree.

again, your just making me very happy lol.

chridd wrote:I wish I had a c*** that looks like the original iMac.

granted. OUCH.


Amianym wrote:I wish for a jug of iced teat.

is it cold in here, or are you happy to see me?


i wish my computer science degree was free.
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marionic
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby marionic » Sun Jun 02, 2013 1:14 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:i wish i was computer science degree free.


Granted. You have no computer science degree.

I wish to find out I am allowed in Hogwarts and my invitation letter never reached me.
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Vytron
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Vytron » Sun Jun 02, 2013 1:31 pm UTC

Granted. But they won't let you in without the letter, and it never reaches you.

I wish to have the power to make things that never happen, happen.
Last edited by Vytron on Sun Jun 02, 2013 1:58 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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ArDeeJ
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby ArDeeJ » Sun Jun 02, 2013 1:34 pm UTC

Vytron wrote:I wish I hadn't confused this thread with Corrupt-a-wish.
Granted :wink:

I wish I had enough money to buy all the music I want to.
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dudiobugtron
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dudiobugtron » Sun Jun 02, 2013 6:46 pm UTC

ArDeeJ wrote:I wish I had enough money to buy all the flatulence I want to.

Granted. You have no money.

I wish that when I die, I get reborn in the situation of my choice.
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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon Jun 03, 2013 4:41 pm UTC

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish that when I die, I get reborn in the sticky situation of my choice.

granted, you may choose from a wide array of somewhat sticky and uncomfortable situations.

i wish life was a little easier sometimes.
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ArDeeJ
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby ArDeeJ » Mon Jun 03, 2013 7:06 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:i wish life was a little easel sometimes.
Granted. Every now and then, life is a little easel.

I wish I could manage my life better.
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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:30 pm UTC

ArDeeJ wrote:I wish I could manage my wife better.

granted, you can micromanage your significant other all you like.

i wish for a ballpoint pen to sign this here giant check with.
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dudiobugtron
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dudiobugtron » Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:35 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:i wish for a ballpoint pen to trade this here giant check with.

Granted. Sounds like a good deal. As a show of good faith, I give you a ballpoint pen first, so you can use it to write "Pay to the order of: dudiobugtron, $1000000" before signing it and giving it to me. Thanks!

On second thoughts, money can't buy happiness. I wish for my ballpoint pen back.
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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:44 pm UTC

dudiobugtron wrote:On second thoughts, money can't buy happiness. I wish for my ball back.

granted, here is that ball that went over the fence in my yard the other day, ill just take my check back.

i wish for a really large tub to wash this giant check in.
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mathmannix
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby mathmannix » Wed Jun 12, 2013 1:59 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:i wish for a really large tub to wash this giant Czech in.


Granted, here is a tub sufficient for washing a 600-pound Bohemian man.

I wish I had a pet dinosaur.
I hear velociraptor tastes like chicken.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Wed Jun 12, 2013 9:28 pm UTC

mathmannix wrote:I wish I had a toy dinosaur.

granted, it is not free though. 5 dollars please.

i wish for moar lol kittehs
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ArDeeJ
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby ArDeeJ » Wed Jun 12, 2013 9:30 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:I wish for more amusing cats.
Granted. Though, you find them considerably less funny now that their grammar has been corrected, or in many cases, entirely removed.

I wish Winnie Pooh was real.
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Cousj001
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Cousj001 » Wed Jun 12, 2013 9:38 pm UTC

ArDeeJ wrote:I wish for seal pooh.


Granted. It also contains Pseudoterranova decipiens, and kills off all the remaining cod in the ocean. Now you have to survive without cod.

I wish for more fish.
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bug sniper
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby bug sniper » Wed Jun 12, 2013 11:15 pm UTC

Cousj001 wrote:I fish for more wish.


Granted, but you never catch any, because unlike fish, wishes don't care much for your bait.

I wish I didn't laugh myself to death from all these misquotes.
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ArDeeJ
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby ArDeeJ » Thu Jun 13, 2013 12:29 pm UTC

bag snipr wrote:i wish i didnt laff miself 2 deth frm all dese miss quotes XD

Granted. You are already dead.

I wish I didn't laugh myself to death from Homestuck.
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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Thu Jun 13, 2013 4:46 pm UTC

ArDeeJ wrote:I wish I didn't laugh myself to death from being stuck at home.


granted, your not amused by being stuck at home. after a few weeks, russian roulette sounds like fun.

i wish for a pack of smokes.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Cousj001 » Thu Jun 13, 2013 10:02 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:
I wish for a packet of smoked cheese.


Granted.

I wish I had another flat-screen monitor.
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dudiobugtron
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dudiobugtron » Thu Jun 13, 2013 11:46 pm UTC

Cousj001 wrote:I wish I had another fat-screen monitor.

Granted. Another 14" CRT coming up!

I wish I actually had a 14" CRT with which to grant the above wish.
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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri Jun 14, 2013 4:02 pm UTC

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish I actually had a 14" CAT with which to grant the above wish.

granted, one cat, 14" from the end of its tail to its nose. thats a tiny cat.


i wish for the worlds largest computer.
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dudiobugtron
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dudiobugtron » Fri Jun 14, 2013 9:17 pm UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:i wish for the worlds largess computer.

Granted. It quickly calculates all of the money that first world countries have spent in Aid to poorer countries. Rather than be embarrassed (like they should), they are appalled, and most of them stop sending aid. Look what you've done!

I wish that I didn't have to log in to some online account and remember the password just to play offline games now.
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