## Misquote-a-Wish!

For all your silly time-killing forum games.

Moderators: jestingrabbit, Moderators General, Prelates

Earthling on Mars
Morning
Posts: 661
Joined: Sat Apr 06, 2013 6:35 pm UTC
Location: Somewhere in the Solar System

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Tomlidich the second wrote:i wish orcs were easier to remove.

Granted, now Sauron is after you for removing his Orcs.

Edit: Whoops, ninja'd by a minute!
dudiobugtron wrote:I wish that I had said Tomlidich's pun earlier.

Granted, but somebody takes a chainsaw to you for making a pun.

I wish I could see the Milky Way.

jdj42
Posts: 42
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:36 am UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish that I had got jdj's reference earlier.

Granted, but you don't get awesome points.

Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

jdj42 wrote:i wish i would keep getting obviously ninja'd by obvious ninjas

granted.

i wish ninjas occured with less frequency.

bug sniper
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:29 am UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

"i wish pirates occurred with less frequency."

I wish I had some ricerumbrainsoil to feed my ninja pirate zombie robot.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

dudiobugtron
Posts: 1098
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:14 am UTC
Location: The Outlier

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

bug sniper wrote:I wish I had some Catfoodnectarmilkelectricity to feed my friend Catherine Hummingbird Baby Computer.

Granted! Unfortunately it was the wrong mixture, causing your Cat Hummingbird Baby Computer to both run and fly away, and also bring up an error message saying it needs changing. (The Blue Screen Of Dirty Diaper.)

I wish that combinations of unrelated things were more common.

jdj42
Posts: 42
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:36 am UTC
"I wish that combinations of unrelated things were less common"

Granted, asshole. Thanks for taking a lot of the awesome out of the world.

I wish there was more awesome in the world.

bug sniper
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:29 am UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

jdj42 wrote:I wish there was more awesome" "in the world.

Granted. The space between everything is more awesome now.

I wish I could get a pro-rated refund on everything.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

Earthling on Mars
Morning
Posts: 661
Joined: Sat Apr 06, 2013 6:35 pm UTC
Location: Somewhere in the Solar System

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

bug sniper wrote:I wish I could get a pro-hated refund on everything.

Granted. Why do you want a refund that all the pros hate?

I wish I could see the Milky Way.

Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Earthling on Mars wrote:I wish I could see the Milky Hay.

granted, when you look in the barn, you see alot of people have been rolling in the hay

i wish i could unsee that mental image.

jdj42
Posts: 42
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:36 am UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Tomlidich the second wrote:i wish i could use that mental image.

Granted, whatever that means.

I wish that FATAL didn't exist.

bug sniper
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:29 am UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

jdj42 wrote:I wish that my GM promised that FATAL didn't exist in his set.

Granted. However, he was a filthy liar. That's right, your nerdy GM hasn't gotten enough action so he makes sex part of your next game. And to satisfy his nerdy desires for math and indecisiveness in others, he creates situations with as many equivalent-looking skill choices as possible, and gives you as many rape slaves as possible. And you can't just leave the table because he took your keys.

I wish for a flamethrower shotgun axe to defend myself from that ninja zombie tree.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

bug sniper wrote:
Granted. However, he was a filthy liar. That's right, your nerdy GM hasn't gotten enough action so he makes sex part of your next game. And to satisfy his nerdy desires for math and indecisiveness in others, he creates situations with as many equivalent-looking skill choices as possible, and gives you as many rape slaves as possible. And you can't just leave the table because he took your keys.
that sounds oddly specific.

bug sniper wrote:I wish for a flamethrower shotgun ass to defend myself from that ninja zombie tree.

granted, that sounds painful though. but if you REALLY want it...

i wish to know why bug sniper has some sadistic rape fantasy nerd for a GM.

jdj42
Posts: 42
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:36 am UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Tomlidich the second wrote:i wish to not know that bug sniper has some sadistic rape fantasy nerd for a GM.

Granted.

I wish for another wish.

Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

jdj42 wrote:I wish for another fish.

granted, this wish is self stacking! you get infinite fish.

i wish to ban the fish to their own void of infinite fish. (not to be confused with the void of inifinite chai tea, THE MOST DELICIOUS DRINK OF ALL)

jdj42
Posts: 42
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:36 am UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Tomlidich the second wrote:
i wish to ban the fatal to their own void of infinite fatal. (not to be confused with the void of inifinite chai tea, THE MOST DELICIOUS DRINK OF ALL)

Granted. Good job.

I wish I still had acid orb.

Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

granted you have it. its halfway through your digestive tract.

i wish you could properly digest an acid orb, because that sounds painful.

jdj42
Posts: 42
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:36 am UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Granted, but I still take damage from it.

I wish I knew what level I was.
Edit: Wait, were you trying to derail this thread?

bug sniper
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:29 am UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

jdj42 wrote:I wish I knew how level I was.

Granted. A balance beam is placed on your head, and it appears that you are very unlevel.

I insert a cup of genes.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

thijsel
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2013 5:09 pm UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

bug sniper wrote: I insert a cup of beans.

...Granted. Even though it is not a wish.

I wish someone would do something interesting.

Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

thijsel wrote:I wish someone would do something intestines.

granted, but rick grimes blows your head off believing you to be a zombie for that last word.

i wish i could be a walking dead character.

Pingouin7
Posts: 91
Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2011 4:50 pm UTC
Location: ~/

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Tomlidich the second wrote:i wish i could be walking a dead character.

Granted; you now have a leash that lets you walk dead characters. Not sure how useful that can be, but it's there.

I wish everyone would stop using Internet Explorer.
Dason wrote:
Kewangji wrote:I confess I am actually scared of peanuts, and tend to avoid them, given how lethal they are to some people.

I'm not. I do my part in the fight against peanuts by destroying them with my powerful teeth. Take that peanut! How does being digested feel!?

Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Pingouin7 wrote:I wish everyone would stop using Dora the Explorer.

granted, but this comes with the horrible truth that everyone was "using" poor little Dora in the first place.

i wish i could accelerate the pace of time for one hour increments.

Earthling on Mars
Morning
Posts: 661
Joined: Sat Apr 06, 2013 6:35 pm UTC
Location: Somewhere in the Solar System

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Tomlidich the second wrote:i wish i could accelerate the pace of time for one hour decrements.

Granted. Welcome to yesterday.

I wish '); DROP TABLE wishes;--

bug sniper
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:29 am UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Earthling on Mars wrote:

ERROR: NO WISH RETRIEVED

I wish for the wishes to be retrieved from a backup copy.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

dudiobugtron
Posts: 1098
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:14 am UTC
Location: The Outlier

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

bug sniper wrote:I wish for the wishes to be retrieved from a backup floppy.

Granted. It takes a while.

...

...

...

...

...

10 Print "I wish the backup wishes were stored on a more modern medium."

ArDeeJ
Bastet Case
Posts: 126
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2012 2:20 pm UTC
Location: Finland

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

dudiobugtron wrote:10 Print "I wish the backup wishes were stored on a more modern medium."
20 Goto 10

I wish you'd wish only once.
puzzles (bad) | tweets (worse) | they pronouns

dimitriye98
Posts: 14
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2013 12:04 pm UTC
Location: nullptr

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

ArDeeJ wrote:I wish you'd wish only infinitely many times.

Granted

I wish the following for every natural number.
I wish I had n more dollars.
Join nomic. It's awesome and fun.

Earthling on Mars
Morning
Posts: 661
Joined: Sat Apr 06, 2013 6:35 pm UTC
Location: Somewhere in the Solar System

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

dimitriye98 wrote:I wish the following for every complex number.
I wish I had n more dollars.

Granted. I wonder what −3.5 + 2i dollars looks like?

I wish for a teleporter.

bug sniper
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:29 am UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Earthling on Mars wrote:I wish for a helleporter.

Granted. It's a teleporter that operates by burning your molecules in a smouldering fire and then painfully reconstructing your molecular structure from the ashes somewhere else.

I wish for a package of tofu.
Last edited by bug sniper on Fri May 02, 2014 9:40 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

dudiobugtron
Posts: 1098
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:14 am UTC
Location: The Outlier

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

bug sniper wrote:I wish to be a master of toe-fu.

Granted. Unfortunately, your assailants generally don't wait for you to take your shoes off.

I wish to learn toe-fu from the master.

Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish to learn toe-su from the master.

granted, but typing linux command line is super hard to do with your feet. you spend years mastering it, only to have a skill that does not make you more impressive to the opposite sex.

i wish electricity was slightly easier to generate.

dudiobugtron
Posts: 1098
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:14 am UTC
Location: The Outlier

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Tomlidich the second wrote:i wish elections were slightly easier to gerrymander.

Granted. Election boundaries can now be redrawn after the votes are counted.

I wish there was an xkcd parliament and we had elections for it.

Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish there was an xkcd parchment and we had erections for it.

granted. i don't want it back when you are done with it.

i wish i knew what was on that parchment.

astrekmaster
Posts: 24
Joined: Sat Nov 26, 2011 8:27 pm UTC
Location: The Earth

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Tomlidich the second wrote:i wish i knew what was in that parliament.

Granted. Like all politics, it's extremely boring and dry to watch.

I wish politics was a bit more interesting to watch.
I define progress on a computer problem as getting a different error message.

dzamie
Posts: 39
Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 12:12 pm UTC
Location: The land of crab cakes and Old Bay.

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

astrekmaster wrote:I wish politics was a bit more inundating to watch.

Granted. Politicians now overwhelm your every action, as though they had a secret video stream.

I wish I had a raptor.

Code: Select all

:Clrhome:while 1:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16),randInt(0,9)):Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," "):Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," "):End

Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

dzamie wrote:I wish I had a racker.

granted, you have what appears to be a bracket device for racking things in close unison with each other. it doesn't seem to fit anything though. hm.

i wish i knew what that racker was supposed to rack.

bug sniper
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:29 am UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Tomlidich the second wrote:I wish i knew what that racker was supposed to rack.

Granted. The imaginary number equal to $(-1)^\frac{1}{2}$ now knows how it was supposed to rack.

I wish for my above LaTeX attempt to work.
Last edited by bug sniper on Sun Dec 01, 2013 11:47 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

dudiobugtron
Posts: 1098
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:14 am UTC
Location: The Outlier

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

bug sniper wrote:I wish for my adult latex costume to arrive at work.

Granted. You probably shouldn't put it on until you get home, though.

I wish I could communicate in pictures.

bug sniper
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:29 am UTC

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish I could commute in pictures.

Granted. You can now drive a photograph to work, as soon as you figure out where the steering wheel goes.

I wish I could get ahead in life.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

dzamie
Posts: 39
Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 12:12 pm UTC
Location: The land of crab cakes and Old Bay.

### Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

bug sniper wrote:I wish I could pet a head in life.

Granted. You now have the irrational desire to caress the tops of strangers' skulls.

I wish Fox News would be even sillier.

Code: Select all

:Clrhome:while 1:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16),randInt(0,9)):Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," "):Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," "):End