Misquote-a-Wish!

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Neil_Boekend » Thu Jun 12, 2014 1:25 pm UTC

Whizbang wrote:I wish the next poster in this thread would quote me correctly.


Granted.

I wish I was the first poster on a new page.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Yablo » Mon Jun 16, 2014 9:22 pm UTC

Neil_Boekend wrote:I wish I was the first guru of a new age.


Granted. Fundamentalists, fanatics, and special interest groups have you eliminated due to your wild ideas.

I wish the United States would switch to the metric system.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Neil_Boekend » Tue Jun 17, 2014 12:41 pm UTC

Yablo wrote:I wish the United States would switch to the imperial system.

Damn you, before you wished that we were in a timestream where their measurement system had already really switched to Metric in 1893, instead of the imperial/metric hybrid they have in this timestream!

I wish my screen wasn't developing this worrying spot where the colors are off.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Whizbang » Tue Jun 17, 2014 1:22 pm UTC

Neil_Boekend wrote:I wish my [redacted] wasn't developing this worrying spot where the colors are off.


Don't seek help from the internet. Go see a doctor.

I wish my coffee cup automatically refilled itself with the perfect cup of coffee.

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Yablo » Thu Jun 19, 2014 11:58 pm UTC

Whizbang wrote:I wish my coffee cup automatically spilled itself when I pour a cup of coffee.


Granted, I guess. That would frustrate the hell out of me, but to each his own.

I wish people would stop using my driveway to turn around.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Platypodes » Fri Jun 20, 2014 7:09 am UTC

Yablo wrote:I wish people would stop using my driveway to turn each other into frogs.


Granted. But your neighborhood sounds more interesting than mine.

I wish I had some Parmesan cheese.
videogamesizzle wrote:so, uh, seen any good arbitrary, high numbers lately?

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Whizbang » Fri Jun 20, 2014 7:44 pm UTC

Platypodes wrote:I wish I had pentagon keys.


I would give you some, but then I'd have to kill you.

I wish I didn't procrastinate so much.

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Yablo » Mon Jun 23, 2014 6:48 pm UTC

Whizbang wrote:I wish I didn't prostitute so much.

Granted, but it's tough to make a decent living on what Waffle House pays.

I wish it was (American) Football season.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Whizbang » Thu Jul 10, 2014 1:45 pm UTC

Yablo wrote:I wish I was American.


Granted. Now the world hates you (more).

I wish all my tasks at work took only a moment and I had more time to goof off online.

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby bug sniper » Thu Jul 10, 2014 11:19 pm UTC

Whizbang wrote:I wish all my tasks at work took only a moment and I had more time to golf offline.


Granted. The internet is scheduled to go down this weekend in your area for security reasons. While that is taking place, it will be a great time to go golfing.

I wish for a full set of gold clubs.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Neil_Boekend » Fri Jul 11, 2014 11:29 am UTC

bug sniper wrote:I wish for a full set of fold clubs.

Granted. The cubs are easy to carry but tend to fold during use. You often get your fingers squished by them.

I wish I had two additional arms and hands and the ability to use them.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Whizbang » Fri Jul 11, 2014 12:56 pm UTC

Neil_Boekend wrote:I wish I had twelve additional arms and hands and the inability to use them.

Granted. You are now part of a circus and they pay you in peanuts.

I wish to be immortal.

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Yablo » Fri Jul 11, 2014 6:37 pm UTC

Whizbang wrote:I wish to see a marble.


Granted. You catch a glimpse of one as you tumble down ten flights of stairs after stepping on it.

I wish it was legal to punch a bald eagle.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby bug sniper » Sun Jul 13, 2014 11:09 pm UTC

Whizbang wrote:I wish it was legal to punch a bald person.


Granted. Bald people everywhere have good reason to wear helmets now.

I wish Netflix would work on Linux
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Mishrak » Tue Aug 19, 2014 5:29 pm UTC

bug sniper wrote:I wish Comcast would work on Linux.


Granted. Now the OS is hated by everyone and incredibly slow.

I wish my waffle iron would make waffles by itself.

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Yablo » Thu Sep 04, 2014 12:02 am UTC

Mishrak wrote:I wish my pile of firewood was high up on a shelf.


Granted, but isn't that a little dangerous? Not to mention, you can't even reach it without standing on a chair.

I wish I had a new pair of boots.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Lunch Meat » Thu Sep 04, 2014 1:47 am UTC

Yablo wrote:I wish I had a blue-haired newt.


Granted. Your mutant creation is plagued with diseases and dies alone because you can't figure out how to make another one. Jerk.

I wish my yoga class wasn't canceled today.

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby chridd » Thu Sep 04, 2014 10:31 am UTC

Lunch Meat wrote:I wish my Yoda class wasn't canceled today.
Granted. Cancelled, it is not. Go to class, you will.

Object-Subject-Verb word order, I wish English had.
~ chri d. d. /tʃɹɪ.di.di/ (Phonotactics, schmphonotactics) · they (for now, at least) · Forum game scores
mittfh wrote:I wish this post was very quotable...
flicky1991 wrote:In both cases the quote is "I'm being quoted too much!"

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby eviloatmeal » Thu Sep 04, 2014 10:45 am UTC

chridd wrote:I wish English had Subject-Verb-Object word order.

It's a miracle!

I wish it would rain when I were outside. It's been raining non-stop for the past week, except when I walk to and from the bus-
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Yablo » Thu Sep 04, 2014 10:01 pm UTC

eviloatmeal wrote:I wish that trains obeyed road signs. I've been painting bus stops for the past week, and I still can't walk to and from the bus.


Granted. Every train rolling down the street will now stop so you can get to the bus.

I wish money grew on trees.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby chridd » Fri Sep 05, 2014 4:43 am UTC

Yablo wrote:I wish honey grew on bees.
Granted.

I wish I could think of a good wish whenever I had a good idea for a misquote here.
~ chri d. d. /tʃɹɪ.di.di/ (Phonotactics, schmphonotactics) · they (for now, at least) · Forum game scores
mittfh wrote:I wish this post was very quotable...
flicky1991 wrote:In both cases the quote is "I'm being quoted too much!"

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby eviloatmeal » Fri Sep 05, 2014 5:19 am UTC

chridd wrote:I wish I could think so bad at times that my heart does not skip correctly.

Granted. Now get out there and give yourself an arrhythmia, you little whipper-snapper! :wink:
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Yablo » Fri Sep 05, 2014 5:50 pm UTC

eviloatmeal wrote:I wish someone would wish for me since I forgot to.

Granted.

I wish people would remember to wish.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby bug sniper » Fri Sep 05, 2014 11:17 pm UTC

Yablo wrote:I wish people would refuse to wish.


Granted. Just watch and see the picket signs I've got prepared for you.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby eviloatmeal » Mon Sep 08, 2014 7:24 am UTC

bug sniper wrote:I wish that, working on this, I saw Jesse.


Can't help you there. I haven't seen any Jesses.

I wish I had more time.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Lunch Meat » Mon Sep 08, 2014 12:07 pm UTC

eviloatmeal wrote:I wish I had more thyme.


Granted. Unfortunately, you don't have any other spices, so everything you cook is still bland.

I wish I had gone grocery shopping yesterday so I'd have food today.

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby eviloatmeal » Mon Sep 08, 2014 12:32 pm UTC

Lunch Meat wrote:I wish I weren't such a privileged person as to have access to groceries on a Sunday.

Granted! You now live in Northern Norway!

Also, I freaking love thyme!
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Neil_Boekend » Mon Sep 08, 2014 12:35 pm UTC

eviloatmeal wrote:Also, I freaking love Time!

Why don't we see you often in the OTT then?

I wish eviloatmeal was an OTTer.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby eviloatmeal » Mon Sep 08, 2014 1:00 pm UTC

Neil_Boekend wrote:I wish eviloatmeal was an otter.

Granted!

This is kind of embarrassing but... uh...

Spoiler:
Me and my sister as kids.
Image

I wish that were true.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Earthling on Mars » Tue Sep 09, 2014 8:42 pm UTC

eviloatmeal wrote:I wish that I were blue.

Granted. Your skin, hair, eyes, everything, even internal organs, have turned completely blue.

I wish the sky was blue.

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Lunch Meat » Wed Sep 10, 2014 2:20 am UTC

Earthling on Mars wrote:I wish the ska was blues.


Granted, you have combined ska and blues to make a new genre of music which earns you millions (of old people complaining that the new music is terrible).

I wish my mouse wasn't so crappy.

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby eviloatmeal » Wed Sep 10, 2014 5:48 am UTC

Lunch Meat wrote:I wish my mouse was an M500.


Granted - your mouse is an M500 (also, it's at the store, and you have to pay $20 when you go get it, but it's definitely your mouse, and it's an M500, as per your wish).

I wish it were Friday again.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Neil_Boekend » Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:44 pm UTC

eviloatmeal wrote:I wish it was always Friday.


Granted. The weekend remains forever out of reach

I wish I wasn't such an idiot.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Yablo » Fri Sep 12, 2014 12:24 am UTC

Neil_Boekend wrote:I wish I was an Alaskan Malamute.

Granted, or should I say ... Arf?

I wish my job was more action-packed.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby eviloatmeal » Fri Sep 12, 2014 7:48 am UTC

Neil_Boekend wrote:
eviloatmeal wrote:I wish it was always Friday.

Granted. The weekend remains forever out of reach

Woohoo! Archeage headstart EVERY DAY!!!! :D :D :D Best wish ever!!! Thanks, Neil!

Yablo wrote:I wish my job was to pack action figures.

Granted! A local factory has an open position! Perhaps you won't start out on the G.I. Joes at first, but you can work your way up from the play dough and building blocks.

I wish I could see the ISS from this far North.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Neil_Boekend » Mon Sep 15, 2014 12:20 pm UTC

eviloatmeal wrote:I wish I could see ISIS from this far North.

You can. They are sending rockets your way.

I wish I had more time for biking.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby eviloatmeal » Mon Sep 15, 2014 12:38 pm UTC

Neil_Boekend wrote:You can. They are sending rockets your way.

I wish I had more time for viking.

Why bother? The whole world has already been discovered.

I wish I had more time for anything.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Lunch Meat » Mon Sep 29, 2014 11:57 pm UTC

eviloatmeal wrote:I wish I had more time for guinea pigs.

Granted. You are a successful guinea pig breeder and your sweet little fuzzy pets adore you.

I wish that my pie will win the state fair contest this weekend.

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby eviloatmeal » Tue Sep 30, 2014 9:31 am UTC

Lunch Meat wrote:I wish that my pie will win at least one state fair contest sometime in this century.

If at first you don't succeed; pie, pie again.

I wish autumn would last forever.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby Yablo » Thu Oct 30, 2014 6:24 pm UTC

eviloatmeal wrote:I wish autumn would last roughly three months.


I've got some good news for you ...

Also, I wish I could play the Peanuts theme on my guitar.
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