Rap Battle Thread!

[Asmodieus]

Yo, mic check one, two one, two
It doesn't work. Dude, where'd you get this sound crew?

Man, you leave me no choice.

YO, NOW I'M SPITTIN' ALL MY RHYMES USING ONLY MY VOICE.

HOLDING DOWN CRUISE CONTROL,
YOU KNOW HOW I ROLL.

BITCH, YOU THINK YOU'RE SO HARD
PLAY WITH ME AND YOU'LL BE IN THE GRAVEYARD.

YOU'LL GO DOWN LIKE POLAND IN 1939
I'LL PUT YOU IN A DIF-FA-RENT PARADIGM

[thecamoninja]

The mic's broken? Well, I apologize
For your incompetence, just use your eyes!
Are you fucking blind or something?
Look, it's not plugged in, retard king

And as for that voice, I'd prefer not to hear it
So shut your goddamn mouth before I smear it
Rip your jaw straight from that pretty face
It's a stain on the wall now, can you still win the race?

[JCM]

It's MC J here bustin some bad rhymes.
Like you other nerds did those other 162 times.
If you don't like me. well forget you.
I'm not gonna forfeit my skills for a black Jew.

Unless you're not actually a black Jew.
Then you're probably just something else bad, foo!
It's MC J here bustin some bad rhymes.
Like you other nerds did those other 162 times.

[Vohu Manah]

MC J thinks he's hot, reality says he's not,
Let's venture into the foray of grammatical thought,
You randomly halt your sentence during a line, without syntax,
Decide on my dogma without any facts, another thing your mind lacks.

Now you go into repetition,
So prepare for submission,
'tis necessary for your condition,
Let's go write a book about your mission,
Can't promise much, but it'll be fiction.
Now you go into repetition,

Before I finish, I'll add this little bit for garnish,
Though by now you've probably been caught sniffing paint varnish,
'Black Jew' is distasteful, we will admonish,

[videogamesizzle]

MC K-Sizzle bustin' rhymes once more
though it's been quite a while since I was here on this floor
I was too busy getting laid by everybody I could
Rollin' 'round in my money like any rich guy should.

Throwin' millions out the windows just because I'm so cool
Then go swimmin' in my champaign-filled swimmin' pool
By my house made of gold, I'm here this afternoon
Then I'm leavin for my summer home - ON THE MOON.

[thecamoninja]

MCK, don't be a goddamn dumbass
Ya can't go to a summer home in winter
And what, on the moon you fishin' for bass?
Shut up or I'll make your bones splinter.

[videogamesizzle]

What the fuck, man, you be blockin' my styles?
Man, the last guys to do that wound up in bloody piles.
I got a house on the moon and let me tell ya it's the bomb
'specially when I'm up there chillin' with yo' mom.

[King of Frogs]

Look out motherfuckers, its the King of Frogs
Out here on the fora, hangin' wit ma dawgs
Bustin' some moves all over this shit
Yo lookin' for some hip-hop? Well you're lookin' at it!

Don't give a shit about no houses on the Moon
I think you been smokin' too much, you better give up soon
Else you'll wind up like some crazy bald motherfucker
Wit two-tone glasses actin like a sucka
Making extrenous claims
About yo' livin domains
Requiring fuckin huge cranes
And thick window frames
To allow for the pressure of near vaccum
The house I will probably lack some room
And where would you get yo' oxygen from?
I think you been lying all along!
The situation of your habitation
Of this lunar mansion gave us expectations
The conclusions of which are beginning to try my patience!

So fuck you motherfucker, your claims are spurious
And y'all won't no longer feel this situation curious
Let it be written down in the forum logs
That's the motherfucking word of the King of Frogs!

[videogamesizzle]

DAAAAAAAYYYUM!

Well, King of Frogs, you think you so tough?
Lemme tell you the truth, I hope it isn't too rough;
Your rhymes are okay at best, you sit there doubtin' my claims?
Well I'll give an explanation so you'll stop with these games.

See, the thing I never told you is I'm really a wizard
so Imma use my black magic, turn you into a lizard
toss you into a stew,
there'll be no rappin' from you,
and no-one will be able to doubt when I'm through.

[FCN]

Your name's Sizzle but your rap's flat
Your attacks fizzle and go splat
Your rhymes lack luster
Your lines lack bluster
You see, facts cluster
Showing you're wack, buster
You don't pass muster
They dig me, you're dug less
Your flow's dusty, mine's fresh

Your rhyme is basic and mine is acid
Your spelling's off and your wand is flaccid
You suck like you were a cleaning appliance
Like Friedrich, you've got gay down to a science

[Vohu Manah]

The term 'gay' is just a bit crass,
What's next, a joke about Lance Bass?
It's hard to tell staring at this mass,
Is it your big head or your ass?

Bit late to re-join the fun,
Not creative, use filler and innuendo,
Rhyming sounds high, must be the endo,
When you come back to orbit you're already done,

So while B-Ditty signs off reading your talk on flow,
You can talk all day, I'll play a sob song with a violin and bow,
Just wait while I knock you down another couple of rows,
Self-absorbed, fully lacking in any real mojo,

[FCN]

You know Sizz was dropping science on the LGBT shit
So I hope we don't have to go back and repeat it.

Now, we've been through weeks of raps that were problematic
Like the slurry prepared by a bass-o-matic
There's been a wack emcee infestation
With flows arrhythmic like a palpitation
Fly-by noobs, trolls, and lame retreads like you
Rappin bout trickses, moon homes, and some black Jew.

But I'm back again
It's the F-C-N.

As you try to tell your silly fables
Like a true DJ I turn the tables
Clean shit out like the Augean stables
Start the thread back up, like jumper cables.

Now you're talking shit about your violin?
Well I dominate like Leviathan
You try to take me down like a coup d'etat
But the last one with skills was prob'ly Brouhaha.
I schooled you twice before, you just don't learn
You just think "oh boy, he's done, now it's my turn!"

[edit]
Fuck it!
Turn this mic up

Alright, now Brouhaha,
I'm coming at you like booyaka!
Cutting straight through the hullabaloo,
But I don't need to mimic your gimmick,
Your cowardly tactics,
Of hiding wack threats in flowery brackets.

You see, I'm the MC that's double-plus good
I'll reprogram your lines till they sound like they should
In room 101 we can handle your kind --
I'll haunt you with segfaults and reprogram your mind.

[SiriusBeatz]

Yo, SiriusBeatz, packing the heat once again.
Stepping up to the mic, so move your feet quick, my friend.
Spittin' automatically, I'm back from my sabbatical
My rhymes are sick - carcinogenic like free radicals.

Sucker MCs trying to rock my spot?
I'll pop and lock, then knock a clown round the block.
Yo, hater's gotta hate, but they know I won't stop
Don't stop, get it, get it, working round the clock, because

[Rahzel sample] If your mother only knew [/sample]
What you were trying to do, she'd probably slap you, too.
I'm cuttin' through all these fake trickses tryin' to spit.
I make hits 'cause these fake trickses ain't got s***!

With sixteen bars I could wreck sixteen cars
Yes, my flow is so destructive you could call me Mars
The God of War on the microphone - check, 1, 2!
And you were only half right, J - I'm not a Jew.

[thecamoninja]

Ain't rapped in a while, now I got the itch
It's been too long, my fingers startin' to twitch
Watch where you're goin', gonna flip the switch
Let's get a damn party all up in this bitch

So if you're hangin' round like you're a chump
You best leave 'fore you get a lump
If this thread's a bus, we went over a hump
So buckle in ya'll, 'cause this is a bump!

[Badion]

This thread is some wackness, for real, that's no joke
NOW your ears have to be bleedin' cause Cracker Jack just spoke

Get down on yo knees, put yo hands in the air
This shit just got started ill give it some flair
Cracker Jack is bustin' on the big and the small
Don't ask your mother for help you know who she'll call?
Me, that's right, I am the master plan
My nick name is mail man, do you understand?

Alright, take breath, I'll give you a break,
Have to get my oil changed and I don't wanna be late
But once the Honda is happy and the warranty met
I'm commin' back to slap you on this you can bet


PEACE!

[Badion]

Damn it all, this thread is lame, people cant rap
Just sit there and read and try to come up with some crap
It easy, just write what you think
We wont be judgemental we know it will stink
But give it a shot, a chance and you'll see,
You can rap and compile just like this MC

Oh shit, hold on, my celly is ringing
It my wife on the line, she is sick of my singing
she said, "you sound like Eminem, but all raspy and high
You should let the other guy have a try"

Fine honey, I'll give them a chance
But you'll see that they dont wanna dance
So here it is folks, your opening, your big break, now don't mess it up
Im gonna be watching real closely like the waynes world close up
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[BurningLed]

Your arrogant screaming makes my eyes bleed
from the horrible meter I see when I read
Maybe it's just the beat in my head,
but I can't make sense of what I just read.

Badion, Sirius, Camo all got it;
for FCN and others, they all just drop it.
Now my rhymes may be a bit strange and simple,
But the beat is there, just like that weird pimple.

... You know, that one you keep trying to get rid of, with peanut butter and other weird remedies, and it's been there for like 3 months, and you're starting to think it might be a small poison-ivy rash or something, and you should really go see a doctor about it...

MC Led out.

[Kromix]

yo! yo!...





um, hey! yo!



*choke*

uh..


yo! yo!


uh..

[krucifi]

this is krucifi y to the power x
hyper empowered text, i defy and devour heads
you guys are just cowards . NEXT. im the perfect logician
blue eyes induction precision, you're like fuckwads in prison

i'll make a chest wall incision, on all you weak ass crap raps,
i attack and backtrack , im the mad cat in the black hat,
ur just a wack sad sack, a syntax with a cum rag
im on your mums funbags and you have no comebacks ya scumbag

[Badion]

Krucifi, that verse held no water
I'll cut through it like a hot knife through melted butter
And damn man, that stuff was vulgar and mean
Made me think of Kromix in the R rated movie scene
You need to relax have a coke and a smile
sit back and think what you've done for a while

*Pause* *stare at watch*

Alrighty son, you have had enough time
You have dillied and dallied and nickled and dimed
I'm gonna cut back cause i think that you melted
You should stop watching Disney that stuff made you sheltered

Oh snap, I almost forgot
Your mouse is all backwards and your CPU is getting hot
the rhymes that i'm spittin' are over clocking your clock
And the text that you see, its not true HD
instead its the lame 720p
Just give me a sec and ill grab you an upgrade
You'll think that its free, but I think that you paid
Your ego is shot and your keyboard is broken
it doesn't want to participate in this forum that's smokin'

Damn this is fun, now I'll go poke
Mishrak, Kromix and tastelikecoke

[Kromix]

pokeety poke poke poke
you poked me, and coke
you happened to miss mishrak
now he is whining like a little yak
you used you fingers and missed by far
so i'll chop them off with a baby gar
stab you index in a medium hook
after i cast, for the bobber i look
it is what i call, fishing by tact
using your finger is a funny fact
stop your pokin' even if its a hobbit
you might get found by Lorena Bobbitt

[krucifi]

oh badion thinks he can rap but he resisting, buying distance
but i insist on flying systems you missed on science fiction,
im the one with the bigger hits, the impecable lyricist
i fuck up your single hits and your mothers clitoris

my style is so devilish, as i pop you like pringle crisps,
im just too fucking vigourous, and you begin to fall just like icarus
ur a clones just like IPPOLIT, but im the origin, where the beast is
i will use my pryokinesis and burn the flesh of your deceased kids

so go seek where the priest is, you have no idea what a rapper is,
im a stone cold anarchist, growing stoned like cannabis
you wanna clock in? its past doom, you know ill be back soon
i devour like a vacuum as you cower in your bathroom

your rhymes were some greasy shit, noone wants a piece of it
little childish rhymes my five year old niece could spit
kromix not worth a mention, this is K-R-U to the C
the speed of light reach C, the way you'll never reach me...

Yours owningly....Krucifi

[Kromix]

man what's wrong with you,
dissin badion after a post is thru
took you a while to come up with that scribble,
even my grandma can do better with the sniffles
look bro, you posted in late,
even your mom is showing the hate
slower than a slug in a bed of sodium,
slower than poop after chugging Imodium
all i have left to say is that your lyrics are whack,
i rather be drinking a tub of ipecac
one thing i know you might take this to heart,
but man it's funny 'cuz i just had to fart.

[krucifi]

iactually i came up with it on the spot, u cock block,
probably thought of yours while u and ur gran doin the foxtrot,
you like sodium? your wounds get salted,
ur skill gets halted pole vaulted, like ur a bald kid

you cant rhyme u have no timing, enlighten us
to your findings, behind mines which are blinding us ,
ur granny got sniffles cos you HIV positive
you're just a faggot closet kid and ur nana caught a whiff

how amusing u confusing me for a delusional loser
when its you who refusing to conclude with ur stupor
ur adoslescent faggot essence is a bastard presence
maggot infested ,lacking resident anti depressants

everyone on this thread will see ur dead in comparison
severed head hangs by a red thread across my javelin
ur like a travel inn, a parasitic embarrasment
u aint even challengin cos ur in the wonder land alice in

even more owningly... krucifi

[Asmodieus]

Kromix, girl, its not cool to have a ghostwriter.
Cmon, who gets their little brother to write for 'er?

Maaan,
Your rhymes got less flow than molasses
Your raps got less style than a ginger with glasses.

Check it,
My raps, are gigs to your lyrics megs
Your raps are lamer than Stephen Hawkings legs.

[Kromix]

for krucifi
funny how you can't do anything without cursing,
didn't you mom teach you right with soap and a bruising?
you spew feces from your mouth calling people names,
don't you know that stuff like that is lame?
funny how you just called me an adolescent,
only because you are still prepubescent
talking all this stuff like a man with a chest full of hair,
you just where birthed by an ugly mare
yes a mare, as a female horse,
only it was crossed with a goat of course
go outside ang check your mail,
you got a letter with a big red FAIL.

[Kromix]

Kromix, girl, its not cool to have a ghostwriter.
Cmon, who gets their little brother to write for 'er?

Maaan,
Your rhymes got less flow than molasses
Your raps got less style than a ginger with glasses.

Check it,
My raps, are gigs to your lyrics megs
Your raps are lamer than Stephen Hawkings legs.

first of i'm not a girl, but i'll call you fanny
maybe you got troubles differentiating trannys

my rhymes might not make sense or flow
oh my, i hurt and i woe

you might think you hold supremacy
but you just are like Obama's idiocy

[Badion]

Oh Snap kid you just woke the dragon, he is effective like tough actin tanactin
Krucifi your rhymes are just weak, like a molecular bond, with some heat you can be beat
Let me roll over to my more serious side
sit down and enjoy the ride as I slide
My hands are just perfect and my abs are so tight
your mother was screaming my name all day and night
But she was bangin your pops his name is steve
When he heard my name he was deceived and relieved
He knew who I was, the gangster with love, the guy in the party with who gets all the hugs
The ladies were talking, they mentioned you
said your were cuddly like winnie the pooh
I couldn't stop laughing that stuff was just sad
You look like a bear in a red shirt oh man thats bad

Kromix is right, your lyrics are whack you curse and spit evil like your smoking crack
yeah that was obvious but this fact is too
Krucifi is a Wheeny and im not talking pooh

Grr, Uh, thats the sounds in the night
they drive you crazy like rappers delight
the beat here is sick and the MC is smokin
What were you thinking you must be jokin
Blow Bam, I'm aimin for the throat
Krucify, i just heard that you are the goat

Ok, Ill stop. You know how I do
Like to give the other guys some chances too
Tell your niece I said hello
and grandma I said was up
It all in good fun dont get all choked up

Just for good measure and I swear Ill be done below is a rhyme i think will be fun
He said he was bad, that he was gangster as hell
His name tells it all and you know he'll be shy
this dude in the dress is named Krucify
He will smile and nod though he dont understand
he'll claim to be the singer in a band
but at the end of the day even if it was great
he still goes home, alone, and masturbates.

Much love for Krucifi

[Kromix]

your lyrics are moot, simple and rude,
they are worse than smelling your moms butt through a paper tube
oh my i was dirty, odd and out of line,
maybe i'll retract, naw it was fine
your reaction is slow, sort of mentally ill,
just like Obama towards the gulf oil spill
my lyrics are whack, with some fun in them too
you just saw a tranny and went gigitty goo!


O.o lol @ badion

[Phrozt]

I like sizzle's rhymes



... cuz they're good.

[krucifi]

asmodieus is right you must be ghost writing
im a fighting titan with the most explosive biting
you dont like the cursing its a rap battle newsflash
you just an abused ass, prostitutin for used cash

my complexity is indefinetaly deafening
tell you eleven things, you deaf by the seventh thing
and dont try using mathematics in your tactics
you're gonna need some drastic facial plastic

see? im a classic, ur just a wannabe nobody
trying to make ur name by dissing kru you only know of me
i kick ur ovaries, cos ur acting like shemale
check ur emails for details cos its u who is a complete FAIL

Mad respect to kromix and badion lol peace.

btw who is rating these?? like how do we vote for the nicer stuff?

[Kromix]

you say i ghostwrite, i think it is funny,
you have your little sister writing your stuff homey
all you do is change adjectives for you dialect,
only shows your huge lack of intellect
attempt to flow something original,
something clean and not criminal
just one thing i will ask you tart,
why did you come just to smell my fart?



no clue on rating, but its funny.

[thecamoninja]

Excuse me now, but I would advise
That you read the OP, you tools
If you do, you may be surprised
To find the goddamn rules

Just in case, I'll say 'em here:
Post in italics, for Christ's sake
(That's the little "i," you queer)
You look like freakin' fakes

You also need a rap name
It's not a difficult feat
C'mon, now get in the game
Or are you just too "leet?"

[Kromix]

my rap name is Kromix, not that hard to see,
silly an weird for your eyes to read
be nice to you then turn sour you hag,
the reverse of a sour patch kid bag
leet rimes and whack lines for you to swallow,
with a little of dirty verses to follow
no cursing, no grime, i succeed in this role,
unlike krucifi that poops from is yap hole
you bring the rules out from old and on,
they are still great for me to poop on
that line was brought in just like rancid eggnog,
it is from triumph the insult comedy dog.

[krucifi]

(typing on ma ps3 i cant use italics lol)

pah how pathetic, ur insipid rhymes are synthetic
i rip it prolific, you should quit it you're tepid
u regretted, the day you attempted a reply
you send it then you hide, but i read it when i was high

im way too impressive ur head sick obsessive,
you're too gay too expect it so you complain and repress it
but the pain is excessive as you remain all defensive
invades all your senses as the world fades through ur lenses

you offering dance massages and making romance passes
ur takin begginer lessons im teachin advanced classes
ur annoying and whining, my deposits are shining
ur just a closeted opposite, and my balls need spit shining

u do a lot of dick climbing, so why the fuck wait
heres another update u be covered in duct tape
you know why im up late, cos you dont improve ur uptake
leave you in the oven next to the cupcakes for fuck sakes

seriously though these should be rated where is OP someone spam him awake lol. peace kromix from krucifi

[Badion]

I respect the OP cause he is the creator
But need I remind him that Im the terminator
The class act, your ticket to ride
Hop on this ship and ill take you for a ride
But really good sir, i am sorry for my slip
I'll post in Itallics and you wont get any lip

NOW ONTO THE WANKESTER!
The fake and hack
Krucifi you fight dirty, e tu brute in the back
I must make this short
No time to retort
But you can bet your ass i'll be back to report

[Badion]

Damn that was long, the break was messed up
Had to reem out a citizen cause of her make up in regards to her break up
DAMN! She went all crazy, I said "Calm Down! No reason to get up and storm all around"
But she wouldnt listen, started to curse and to cry
I couldnt help it is said, "you remind me of Krucifi"
She nodded and laughed, said, "yeah, he's a joke.
For him I wouldnt smoke the el producto, I'd Choke"

Let me take a quote from a famous rapper,
"This Shit is bananas" its crapped out the crapper
Krucifi you went after my homie
his shit just aint phony
Its enlightend and flowing
lyricly it is glowing
But you had to open that mouth, that big gaping hole in that place
Stop bending over, im talking about your face
So now im gonna blast you and make you unnerved
I hope you arent driving, cause your gonna swerve

Krucifi, you unholy beast of st troy
You have to stop touch those little boys
And that nonse you write it looks like cup cakes
Except theres no icing and it tastes like corn flakes
You rhyme in each line, that sublime a method but you constantly change and that shit has been tested
IT failed if you were wondering, didnt win one bit
You may have missed cause you suck your moms
That right I didnt write it cause there are kids on this forum
Tastelike is jsut 15 and I'd rather he die of boredom
Clean up your lyrics and your lies and distrust
I'll send you to rehab and prison if i must

Damn this got long, had lies to displace
Next time you'll see me is when Krucifi shows his face

[Phrozt]

Dood that sucked
You should get STFUped.

[Kromix]

i rolled and laughed at that two liner,
it was worse than the treasury touched by Geitner
it was lame, whack and frail,
like Obama's presidency, a big FAIL
you post a your whines while you mosey,
I saw you drool all over Pelosi
ha, i brought politics to get some fun,
Gen. Petraeus, was dubya's main gun

[Badion]

*Deleted*