Non-Sequitur Showdown.

[Hench]

...and if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that semester in college.

[Delvareus]

IF nine men - Brown, White, Adams, Miller, Green, Hunter, Knight, Jones and Smith - play several positions on a baseball team

AND

1. Smith and Brown won $10.00 playing poker with the pitcher.
2. Hunter was taller than Knight and shorter than White, but each of these weighed more than the first baseman.
3. The third baseman lived across the corridor from Jones in the same apartment house.
4. Miller and the outfielders play bridge in their spare time.
5. White, Miller, Brown, the right fielder and the center fielder were bachelors. The rest were married.
6. Of Adams and Knight, one played an outfield position.
7. The right fielder was shorter than the center fielder.
8. The third baseman was brother to the pitcher's wife.
9. Green was taller than the infielders and the battery - except for Jones, Smith and Adams.
10. The second baseman beat Jones, Brown, Hunter and the catcher at a game of cards.
11. The third baseman, the shortstop, and Hunter made $150 speculating in U.S. Steel.
12. The second baseman was engaged to Miller's sister.
13. Adams lives in the same house as his own sister but dislikes the catcher.
14. Adams, Brown and the shortstop lost $225 each speculating in copper.
15. The catcher had three daughters; the third baseman had two sons; and Green was being sued for divorce.

THEN

you are a jerk.

[Caligula]

Of course it has cheese on it.

[|333173|3|_||3]

Is that concrete weir man-made? (This was really asked by a sober 18-year old)

[Eleven]

To put it frankly, yes, there is a party in my pants.

[ZerothRoot]

Ah man, you made me spill my lightbulb!

[sizzlebread23]

idk, my bff jill?

[PatrickRsGhost]

A smoke grenade, a helicopter, and a gas mask...that's all I ask.

[Eleven]

Gee Willikers lvl 40! I GOT A MOUNT!

[chrispy1]

Purple monkey dishwashers on sale in Aisle 3!

(Used by a friend of mine in The Brick. People turned towards where the appliances were...)

[Narsil]

Well, I guess what I meant to say is that I could understand the first one, but numbers 45-6 were just presumptuous.
That's not to say neither had their merits, quite the contrary, they just seemed a little lacking in any sort of merit.

But I digress. Honestly, pick whichever one makes you happy. I know the power lies within you, and doubly so without. It's kinda like Chuck Barry once said, "When you see a fork in the road, take it." I really think that applies here.

I hope I've given you a lot to think about, and maybe changed your mind about some things. If you ever need to talk, look to the stars.
I'll be there waiting.

[deadly penguin]

Don't forget the cake!

[Eleven]

I don't know how how to tell you this, but you're wrong.

Oh wait, I guess I do.

[chrispy1]

Holy incongruent non-sequiturs | non-sequitirs | non-sequitors Batman!

[The LuigiManiac]

Orange yenkoM Bowldryer!

[deadly penguin]

Despite the bunnies, you still say the most deliciously flexible books!

[FiercestCalm]

If not for herpes, I would've never met you.

[LE4dGOLEM]

Face-Melding intellectuallises rationalisationly USB 7-Port Hubs

[LSK]

I don't know. I still think nightmares are easier.

[sillybear25]

I think we all know what that means...

The Department of Motor Vehicles is at it again!

[Token]

But then who would write us a cake?

[The Mighty Thesaurus]

Only German Sausage can prevent forest fires!

[deadly penguin]

But even if you could manage to remove all the socks, there's still no chance you'll ever get to the hostages alive!

[digitalc]

Think of that sensation as reassurance that you are not dead yet.

[Eleven]

Oh, hold on *stops walking*. I ran out of paper.

[zomgmouse]

Happy Birthday to you too, stupid ferret.

[deadly penguin]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[curious and questioning]

And a banana!

[TigerX]

And it went on like that all the home.

[Klye]

No! Not the wallpaper!!

[Col. Mustard]

Think of the repercussions if all the world's bread was transmuted into high grade cocaine!!

[__Kit]

And then I gave oral to Mr Green that is why he smile so whitely!

[zomgmouse]

Good dags. D'ya like dags?

[Aldarion]

Now seriously, why did you have to thing that frog?

[TigerX]

You know... Critics just get a bad wrap. How can you read someone like Ebert and think that he doesn't know what a good movie is?

[SoapyHobo]

The Lovebird Mafia are coming for yoooou!! O_O;;

[__Kit]

Dragon Genie? Well I never!

[fortyseventeen]

It tastes like burning!

[Kawa]

Fold a Preliminary Base.

[chrispy1]

Hypercubic orgasms are fun, but having one while stealing Belial's hat is just stupid.