Corrupt-a-wish

For all your silly time-killing forum games.

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EvanED
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Postby EvanED » Fri May 25, 2007 8:25 am UTC

DarkWerewolf wrote:I wish i had eternal youth


Granted. You will remain 8 months old forever.

I wish I weren't a slacker.

charlesfahringer
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Postby charlesfahringer » Fri May 25, 2007 12:49 pm UTC

q
Last edited by charlesfahringer on Thu Apr 20, 2017 4:03 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Tractor
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Postby Tractor » Fri May 25, 2007 1:26 pm UTC

Granted. And if playing the ukulele weren't punishment enough, they outlaw it and force you into hiding.

I wish I could get away with more slacking.
9 x 6 = 42

Note: Randall kicks ass.

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The LuigiManiac
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Postby The LuigiManiac » Fri May 25, 2007 3:52 pm UTC

Granted, but you get tired of making more trousers. (slacks)

I wish I could remember this good wish I thought of, but then forgot.
Spoiler:
THE CAKE IS A 3.141592653589...!

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Macbi
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Postby Macbi » Fri May 25, 2007 4:08 pm UTC

Granted, but it was this one::

I wish I could teleport.

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Tractor
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Postby Tractor » Fri May 25, 2007 5:10 pm UTC

Granted, but you cannot teleport anything with you and only within 6inches of your current position.

I wish there was proof of aliens.
9 x 6 = 42



Note: Randall kicks ass.

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Peshmerga
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Postby Peshmerga » Fri May 25, 2007 5:26 pm UTC

Granted, but you hold the proof and you're being hunted by the CIA.

I wish my father loved me. (Gee what's up with me and wishing for heart wrenching things)
i hurd u liek mudkips???

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Tractor
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Postby Tractor » Fri May 25, 2007 5:29 pm UTC

Granted, he loves you all night long ;)

I wish I had a date tonite.
9 x 6 = 42



Note: Randall kicks ass.

Shadowfish
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Postby Shadowfish » Fri May 25, 2007 5:37 pm UTC

Granted, she's a leper.

I wish I was super charismatic.

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xooll
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Postby xooll » Fri May 25, 2007 7:56 pm UTC

You are, but everyone's scared off by the horrible smell.

I wish it would rain a little bit to cool off the air.
So, I got tired of the fact that the appearance of my band name in my signature made my posts on this forum the dominant result when googling for my music. Anyway, if you think I might happen to be a good musician, you can test this theory here.

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SpitValve
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Postby SpitValve » Fri May 25, 2007 11:19 pm UTC

Granted. Except "little" is a relative term. In the eyes of God, world-ending hurricanes are but small splashes.

I wish the toilet didn't smell so bad.

Xial
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Postby Xial » Fri May 25, 2007 11:32 pm UTC

Granted. You no longer have a toilet so now the hole in your floor smells bad.


I wish that the monkeys didn't take my parents away.

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bbctol
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Postby bbctol » Fri May 25, 2007 11:35 pm UTC

Granted. The armadillos did.

I wish for fish.

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Peshmerga
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Postby Peshmerga » Fri May 25, 2007 11:37 pm UTC

Granted. You wished for fish, and the wish was "Give fish the military power to overthrow the humans in seven years."

I wish for protection from the fish reich.
i hurd u liek mudkips???

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ArchangelShrike
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Postby ArchangelShrike » Fri May 25, 2007 11:39 pm UTC

Granted. The RAFTs (Raptors Against Fishy Technology) take you in, and get hungry...

I wish I had a comfy bed.

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bbctol
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Postby bbctol » Fri May 25, 2007 11:40 pm UTC

Granted. You go under the "protection" of the monkey mafia. The same ones who stole Xial's parents. Xial kills you in a long, complicated death sequence, screaming "VENGEANCE!"

EDIT: Fine, you get a comfy bed. So comfy you fall in. And don't realize you bought it from "La Brea Beds".

I wish I was Adolf Fishler, ruler of the world.

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warriorness
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Postby warriorness » Sat May 26, 2007 1:13 am UTC

Granted. You are the ruler, read: inchworm, of the world. It is your sacred duty to spend your life measuring everything in the world until the day you die, never faltering. Also, people make fun of you for being named "Adolf".

I wish for world peace. (has this been done before? if so, just give a new answer)
Iluvatar wrote:Love: Gimme the frickin' API.
yy2bggggs, on Fischer Random chess wrote:Hmmm.... I wonder how how a hypermodern approach would work

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Peshmerga
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Postby Peshmerga » Sat May 26, 2007 1:19 am UTC

Granted! Everyone lives in peace and prosperity, and everyone is relatively happier.

I wish for less corrupted wishes!
i hurd u liek mudkips???

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warriorness
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Postby warriorness » Sat May 26, 2007 2:48 am UTC

(wtf @ that grant?! you cheater...)

Granted! Fewer wishes get corrupted, but those that do get corrupted so hideously that contemplating them would annihilate a person's soul.

I wish for more wishes!
Iluvatar wrote:Love: Gimme the frickin' API.
yy2bggggs, on Fischer Random chess wrote:Hmmm.... I wonder how how a hypermodern approach would work

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Thunderbird4!
It's ketchup, I swear!
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Postby Thunderbird4! » Sat May 26, 2007 3:09 am UTC

Granted. The forums overflow with posts and break, therein breakign Randall's heart and ending xkcd.

I wish I could recognize raptors with enough time to save myself.
d33p wrote:xkcd: We keep people from jumping off of shit

mudge wrote:Taking cat-proximity laws out of lolcats is like taking friction out of sex.

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Drake Zure
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Postby Drake Zure » Sat May 26, 2007 3:51 am UTC

Thunderbird4! wrote:Granted. The forums overflow with posts and break, therein breakign Randall's heart and ending xkcd.

I wish I could recognize raptors with enough time to save myself.


Granted. Sylar kills you.

i wish for a giant cat of doom.
benjhuey wrote:
IceMod wrote:The fingers did surprise me though.

That's what SHE said.
And then she left. I wonder why...

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The LuigiManiac
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Postby The LuigiManiac » Sat May 26, 2007 4:53 am UTC

Granted, but it is a robot cat that hypnotizes you with its fluffy cuteness.

I wish that the cat is both non-functioning and functioning at the same time.
Spoiler:
THE CAKE IS A 3.141592653589...!

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warriorness
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Postby warriorness » Sat May 26, 2007 5:29 am UTC

Granted. You're rendered completely senseless (i.e. all six of your senses stop working), so there's no way for you to detect the cat's state.

I wish that the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle didn't hold.
Iluvatar wrote:Love: Gimme the frickin' API.
yy2bggggs, on Fischer Random chess wrote:Hmmm.... I wonder how how a hypermodern approach would work

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Simon
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Postby Simon » Sat May 26, 2007 8:30 am UTC

Granted. However, in a few years time someone will measure the exact position and velocity of every particle in the universe, plug it all into a quantum computer, run it backwards, and find out exactly what you were up to all those nights you claimed to have been doing Physics. Now the whole universe knows. All the parallel universes, too.

I wish that Heisenberg's uncertainty principle were just ΔxΔp < h. None of this h/4π nonsense.
I don't like numbers which can't be written as fractions. It's an irrational fear.

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chrispy1
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Postby chrispy1 » Sun May 27, 2007 2:00 am UTC

Simon wrote:I wish that Heisenberg's uncertainty principle were just ΔxΔp < h. None of this h/4π nonsense.


Granted - except now Captain Janeway is the best of the Star Trek Captains.

I wish that I understood what Simon said. (hahahaha - that wasn't even intentional....Damn, I need a life. :cry: )
Narsil wrote:For the record, I am not:
b)obsessed with penii, I just have bad luck and they follow me everywh...

SpitValve wrote:And as for Optimus being influenced by Buddhism, I severly doubt it.

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mindless_drivel
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Postby mindless_drivel » Sun May 27, 2007 2:15 am UTC

Granted, but now everyone you meet will pelt you with rotten cabbage for making puns (unintentional or not).

I wish that it was possible to travel faster than the speed of light.

(edited for my idiotic bad grammar.)
Last edited by mindless_drivel on Sun May 27, 2007 2:37 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

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Maseiken
The Candylawyer
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Postby Maseiken » Sun May 27, 2007 2:22 am UTC

Granted, general relativity means that by the time you get back to earth, the cyborgs have taken over, Happy Submission day!

I wish I had more friends...
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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Drake Zure
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Postby Drake Zure » Sun May 27, 2007 2:52 am UTC

granted. the mob befriends you.

i wish...
benjhuey wrote:
IceMod wrote:The fingers did surprise me though.

That's what SHE said.
And then she left. I wonder why...

Xial
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Postby Xial » Sun May 27, 2007 3:55 am UTC

Granted. I assume you were going to ask for an early death or a painful life or something like that.


I wish that the troops were pulled out of Iraq.

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The LuigiManiac
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Postby The LuigiManiac » Sun May 27, 2007 3:59 am UTC

Granted. They now invade...*looks up some relatively unknown place* ...the Isle of Man.

I wish I don't learn why it is named that.

(EDIT: NOOOO! One of my lifelong dreams! RUUUIIIIIIINNNNEED! Well, I guess I still get 250,000USD, right?)
Last edited by The LuigiManiac on Sun May 27, 2007 4:11 am UTC, edited 3 times in total.
Spoiler:
THE CAKE IS A 3.141592653589...!

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Berge
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Postby Berge » Sun May 27, 2007 4:03 am UTC

Granted. However, you appear on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and lose the final question due to that particular gap in your knowledge.

I wish I could read the thoughts of people I made eye contact with.
Image

ZeroSum
Cooler than Jeff
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Postby ZeroSum » Sun May 27, 2007 4:36 am UTC

Granted. That ugly lady that eyes you every morning. Now you know what she's thinking. In graphic detail.

I wish I could play Disgaea at double speed.

...[TOM]...
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Postby ...[TOM]... » Sun May 27, 2007 7:16 am UTC

granted, then your thumbs fall off from vigourous playing and all the children call you anti-dextrous and you are pummelled with the throwing of rotten fruit constantly which leads you to seek shelter in a cave which collapses, but not killing you... leaving you trapped with no sustinence for three days before your death.. on these three days a monkey rapes your face constantly making your live living hell!

i wish for a taranshula the size of the sun!

Dark Ragnarok
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Postby Dark Ragnarok » Sun May 27, 2007 9:07 am UTC

Granted, but it's Jewish and has a big nose.

I wish i wasn't lazy

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__Kit
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Postby __Kit » Sun May 27, 2007 9:10 am UTC

Granted. OCD?

I wish I went to hell!
=]

Dark Ragnarok
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Postby Dark Ragnarok » Sun May 27, 2007 9:21 am UTC

Granted. You're a lawyer.

I wish I another bowl of lucky charms to eat :<

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Benevolent Lion
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Postby Benevolent Lion » Sun May 27, 2007 10:24 am UTC

Granted, although Lucky urinated in it because you took his charms.

I wish the Tin-man had a heart.
Oohhh, Sexy girlfriend!

Dark Ragnarok
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Postby Dark Ragnarok » Sun May 27, 2007 10:27 am UTC

Denied. No heart for you metal man!

I wish my next wish is denied.

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chrispy1
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Postby chrispy1 » Sun May 27, 2007 10:39 am UTC

Your wish is nulled. (This was the only way I could think of to get out of that catch-22)....

I wish the person who replies to this gets a million dollar cheque in the mail. :lol:
Narsil wrote:For the record, I am not:
b)obsessed with penii, I just have bad luck and they follow me everywh...

SpitValve wrote:And as for Optimus being influenced by Buddhism, I severly doubt it.

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Benevolent Lion
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Postby Benevolent Lion » Sun May 27, 2007 10:40 am UTC

Granted, when you wish for death after your horrible torture, it will be denied.

I wish I could ride a Vespa.
Oohhh, Sexy girlfriend!


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