Corrupt-a-wish

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aurumelectrum13
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby aurumelectrum13 » Thu Jul 23, 2009 9:52 pm UTC

Granted! The universe is now True Neutral.

I wish that I could rock the vote.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Black ICE » Thu Jul 23, 2009 11:13 pm UTC

aurumelectrum13 wrote:Granted! The universe is now True Neutral.

I wish that I could rock the vote.


You can! but the vote is for the best cross-dresser.

I wish the person to post after me would not corrupt my wishes :(

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eaglef2
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eaglef2 » Fri Jul 24, 2009 12:53 am UTC

granted, but due to time ambiguousness, I might have posted this before you actually existed, or possibly the way I subjectively see the world is different from what information you receive. Because of this confusing and possibly irrelevant argument, you're gallbladder explodes while your appendix implodes and you die.

I wish for those kinds of wishes to not exist
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby e^iπ+1=0 » Fri Jul 24, 2009 1:09 am UTC

I don't want to corrupt this one... Granted!

I wish for cookies.
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eaglef2
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eaglef2 » Fri Jul 24, 2009 1:13 am UTC

because you were nice to me I'll grant you them

I wish for Paris to be crushed by the Encyclopedia Galactica
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Jedifreak » Fri Jul 24, 2009 2:08 am UTC

Granted, Paris Hilton is crushed by the Encyclopedia Galactica.

I wish the actors in Futurama hadn't been changed.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby RedBandit » Fri Jul 24, 2009 3:00 am UTC

Granted! The actors have not changed at all, but the show is completely different. Futurama is now about Phillip Fry's adventures after having his left arm and right leg amputated during World War I. Leela is now a French prostitute. The show is no longer funny, and it is meant to be an animated comedy.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Vohu Manah » Fri Jul 24, 2009 3:05 am UTC

Granted. After they announce you, they are required to sing along to Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back"

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby RedBandit » Fri Jul 24, 2009 3:09 am UTC

Granted! Every time you drive anywhere, no matter how slow you go, you are stopped by at least 3 police officers and ticketed for speeding. Additionally, every 4th red light you stop for your are ticketed for running. After owning the car for 3 months, someone breaks all the windows, but does not steal the car. Attempts to replace the windows result in them mysteriously shattering within 3 hours. You must drive this car for the rest of your life.

I wish for an aluminum foil swan, like you get in fancy restaurants.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Aquilai » Fri Jul 24, 2009 6:01 pm UTC

Granted but for some reason someone replaces your house lights with high powered laser strobe lights and even though you don't look at the lights directly the lasers rebound off the aluminium foil swan and blind you permanently. Plus in your condition you accidentally step on the swan.

I wish for all the abilities in Heroes to be real and I had full control over ALL of them to combat ANY situation including the ones where this wish is not granted or corrupted in any way I dislike.
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goingnorthwest
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby goingnorthwest » Fri Jul 24, 2009 6:16 pm UTC

Granted, but then you wake up.

I wish I had more comfortable shoes

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Bright Shadows » Fri Jul 24, 2009 11:30 pm UTC

goingnorthwest wrote:Granted, but then you wake up.

I wish I had more comfortable shoes

Granted, but you have no feet to wear them on.

I wish I had a dollar for every time someone said "If I had a dollar for every time someone said..."
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby lilbillyd40 » Fri Jul 24, 2009 11:55 pm UTC

granted. everyone on the planet is struck mute.

i wish i was invincible

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby lilbillyd40 » Fri Jul 24, 2009 11:56 pm UTC

granted. everyone on the planet is struck mute.

i wish i was invincible

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eaglef2
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eaglef2 » Sat Jul 25, 2009 12:07 am UTC

granted, but you're not immortal and you suffer from heart disease. No doctor can operate on you or give you any kind of shot. You then die.

I wish for glass to be non polar.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Aquilai » Sat Jul 25, 2009 12:39 am UTC

For 1sec all glass in the world becomes nonpolar instantly shattering because the bonds holding it together suddenly cease even though glass isn't a compound in the same sense as say water which is polar. Everything glass from greenhouse to windows to electrical components (like fibre optic cables and LEDs) to simple quartz gems break apart. The world now blames you for your vandal wish. Yes this also worsens the economy.

I wish to undo the above wish without a following (I wish to undo this wish, wish).
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eaglef2
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eaglef2 » Sat Jul 25, 2009 3:40 am UTC

granted, but unfortunately you also make all glass non polar, thus killing every animal that uses the Van der Waals forces (i.e. the gecko) dies (thanks there goes a cool little animal)

I wish to undo his wish
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Jedifreak » Sat Jul 25, 2009 6:09 pm UTC

Granted, but you get raped by all of Africa, and you now have every STD that will ever exist.

I wish I had Pie.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby lulzfish » Sat Jul 25, 2009 7:12 pm UTC

It's DragonForce pie.

I wish my laundry was done.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Jedifreak » Sat Jul 25, 2009 9:40 pm UTC

Granted, but someone steals it, and you're forced to wear nothing but the womens underwear you've been stealing.

I wish there was an Idiots of Garrys Mod 3.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eaglef2 » Sat Jul 25, 2009 11:02 pm UTC

Jedifreak wrote:Granted, but you get raped by all of Africa, and you now have every STD that will ever exist.

right back at ya

I wish for speakers that didn't pop loudly every time they turn on
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aurumelectrum13
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby aurumelectrum13 » Sat Jul 25, 2009 11:54 pm UTC

Granted! Your speakers no longer turn on.

I wish I was single again.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby MildCore » Sun Jul 26, 2009 1:41 am UTC

Granted. You're now out of every relationship you've ever had; friends, family, the works. Your only wish now is to have someone else to play Scrabble with.

I wish I had something cold to drink.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Nith Azra » Sun Jul 26, 2009 2:19 am UTC

Granted: you have a cold glass of (boiling?) acid.

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eaglef2
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eaglef2 » Sun Jul 26, 2009 4:20 am UTC

granted, but Pluto is now known as a planet because of this. (Thank you! :D)

I wish for world domination by the balloon carrying porcupines
"I am a four hundred-foot tall purple Platypus Bear with pink horns and silver wings."
-Azula, Avatar: The Last Airbender.

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aurumelectrum13
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby aurumelectrum13 » Sun Jul 26, 2009 4:52 am UTC

Granted, except that you original plan was fundamentally flawed, and no one rules the world. (Balloons AND porcupines? You got greedy, Eaglef2.)

I wish I had someone to play Scrabble with.

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eaglef2
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eaglef2 » Sun Jul 26, 2009 4:59 am UTC

granted, but they have a low level understanding of the english language and take hours to form a word and think that you cheat every time you put down a word that they don't know.

(previously on this thread)
eaglef2 wrote:granted, I wished for that because the idea of having porcupines carrying around balloons that they would most likely pop would be awfully hilarious

I wish for the helium balloon carrying porcupines to make some friends in this world


I wish for the helium-balloon carrying porcupines with friends to take over the world
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aurumelectrum13
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby aurumelectrum13 » Sun Jul 26, 2009 5:03 am UTC

Granted, except that only animal rights activists claim to be friends with the porcupines. They refuse to participate in the "chaining of Mother Earth."

I wish the the word had more baked goods.

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e^iπ+1=0
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby e^iπ+1=0 » Sun Jul 26, 2009 5:17 am UTC

Granted, but they're hoarded by White Beret Guy.

I wish I had a million tax-free dollars.
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aurumelectrum13
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby aurumelectrum13 » Sun Jul 26, 2009 5:25 am UTC

Granted! You now have an Ill-On Axe Three Doll Arse? :wink:

I wish for Cambodia.

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lulzfish
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby lulzfish » Sun Jul 26, 2009 7:40 am UTC

Granted, but Cambodia is probably quite corrupt, so there.

I wish I had somebody to play Scrabble with. But not you.

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eaglef2
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eaglef2 » Sun Jul 26, 2009 9:59 am UTC

look we could do this recursion thing until my lips fall off, or people could stop wishing for Scrabble
eaglef2 wrote:granted, but they have a low level understanding of the english language and take hours to form a word and think that you cheat every time you put down a word that they don't know.

(previously on this thread)
eaglef2 wrote:granted, I wished for that because the idea of having porcupines carrying around balloons that they would most likely pop would be awfully hilarious

I wish for the helium balloon carrying porcupines to make some friends in this world


I wish for the helium-balloon carrying porcupines with friends to take over the world
"I am a four hundred-foot tall purple Platypus Bear with pink horns and silver wings."
-Azula, Avatar: The Last Airbender.

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e^iπ+1=0
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby e^iπ+1=0 » Sun Jul 26, 2009 12:12 pm UTC

Denied because I said so.

I wish for a pet koala.
poxic wrote:You, sir, have heroic hair.
poxic wrote:I note that the hair is not slowing down. It appears to have progressed from heroic to rocking.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Nith Azra » Sun Jul 26, 2009 12:34 pm UTC

Granted; you get a wild male. Koalas a notoriously territorial; and males are very aggressive. They will rip open your flesh with their surprisingly sharp claws.
Have fun! :)

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby thicknavyrain » Sun Jul 26, 2009 2:05 pm UTC

Granted, now all wishes are incorruptable and this thread becomes really boring.

I wish I had an airship that I could park in people's gardens.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Roĝer » Sun Jul 26, 2009 2:53 pm UTC

Granted, but the fines are heavy. You soon become bankrupt.

I wish to speak a language that no one else speaks (and because I am not stupid, I also wish to still speak the languages I currently speak).
Ik ben niet koppig, ik heb gewoon gelijk.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Aquilai » Sun Jul 26, 2009 5:27 pm UTC

Granted you can now speak an additional language that no one else speaks it is something that is so bizarre you are taken away and locked in a mental hospital. Your protests (in understandable English) of "I am no crazy!" just further convinces people that you are.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sweeney » Sun Jul 26, 2009 5:56 pm UTC

Granted. Now all crops will fail as there are no germination vectors. Congratulations, the human race will be extinct in 2 weeks.

I wish that all the code I write will be bug free.
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eaglef2
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eaglef2 » Sun Jul 26, 2009 6:22 pm UTC

granted, but it never does what you need/want it to do.

I wish for a dime
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-Azula, Avatar: The Last Airbender.

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aurumelectrum13
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby aurumelectrum13 » Sun Jul 26, 2009 6:54 pm UTC

Granted! You now have a Canadian DIme. (Or a Malaysian Dime, if you're Canadian.)

I wish the phone would stop ringing.


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