Corrupt-a-wish

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Mr. N
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Mr. N » Tue Sep 22, 2009 2:07 am UTC

Granted. Now they die for a good reason: ham and cheese omelets.

I wish for a ham and cheese omelet.
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Raptor Jesus
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Raptor Jesus » Tue Sep 22, 2009 2:18 am UTC

Granted, your so eager to eat it you stuff it in your mouth, and burn your mouth so severely they have to cut out most of the skin and tissue, also you lose your tongue.

I wish I had an extra finger :D
It is a mad world for anyone to think cellardoor is the most beautiful of all words. :D
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Duban
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Duban » Tue Sep 22, 2009 3:15 am UTC

Done, police find an extra finger in the back of your car. You claim it belongs to you but the police arrest you and you get convicted of 1st degree murder of a small child.

I wish I had a job I could enjoy, pays well, I was well qualified for, and has 100% job security.
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Jedifreak
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Jedifreak » Tue Sep 22, 2009 4:15 am UTC

Granted. You COULD enjoy it, but you don't. Your coworkers are assholes. You deserve more than you are making for the job you are doing, but raises have been frozen on you pending an investigation on a witty comment that one person who misheard you didn't like.

I wish I had another day before my test.
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Max2009
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Max2009 » Tue Sep 22, 2009 4:38 am UTC

Granted. But you spend the whole day playing online games.

I wish I had a really nice bagel with low-fat cream-cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion and lox.
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Balesk Baj, Timeburner
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Balesk Baj, Timeburner » Tue Sep 22, 2009 11:07 am UTC

granted, but to take just one bite, you have to pay $1000

I wish you good luck
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mieulium
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mieulium » Tue Sep 22, 2009 12:00 pm UTC

Granted. I get good luck, but then i am so 1337 I don't need luck.

I wish people would acknowledge that they ninja'd me.
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Psycho Goose
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Psycho Goose » Tue Sep 22, 2009 4:42 pm UTC

Granted. Thanks!
...Damn. I meant, uh, DENIED!!!

I wish for the same.
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King of Frogs
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby King of Frogs » Tue Sep 22, 2009 5:05 pm UTC

Not granted.

I wish people would make decent wishes again.
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Charlielechat
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Charlielechat » Tue Sep 22, 2009 6:16 pm UTC

Granted, but you can't benefit at all from them.

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Woodsman
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Woodsman » Tue Sep 22, 2009 7:09 pm UTC

it does. Ironically, you start to hate it after a minute or 10

I wish I was better.

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Raptor Jesus
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Raptor Jesus » Tue Sep 22, 2009 10:43 pm UTC

Granted, you are now a better pedophile, course it's up to you whether that's good or not...

I wish I had an unlimited supply of Mountain Dew
It is a mad world for anyone to think cellardoor is the most beautiful of all words. :D
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mieulium
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mieulium » Wed Sep 23, 2009 12:44 am UTC

Granted. Mexican and Chinese labourers scour the mountain every morning to give you bottles of mountain dew.

I wish for divine retribution.
Hi. This is Martha. She likes dull objects. She likes you too! Oh wait... I guess you'd better get some brain training on then.

"OBJECTION!"

Duban
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Duban » Wed Sep 23, 2009 1:33 am UTC

Done, you're struck down by lightning and sent to hell for every little mistake you've ever made.

I wish the next poster would ignore this wish.
It is not the gods I fear. No, It is those who claim to speak for them that concern me.

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Psycho Goose
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Psycho Goose » Wed Sep 23, 2009 2:51 am UTC

Granted.

I wish that Mother 3 was available in America.
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Raptor Jesus
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Raptor Jesus » Wed Sep 23, 2009 3:43 am UTC

Granted, it's still in Japanese though (with no subtitles).

I wish Mieulium lived in a more mountainous area, that way he didn't refer to a mountain as THE mountain. (I live in the Appalachian Mountains, what can I say?)
It is a mad world for anyone to think cellardoor is the most beautiful of all words. :D
“ He went extinct for your sins to save you from Satanasauras Rex”
~ Cretaceous 3:27
“ You Just Lost 'The Game' ”
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mieulium
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mieulium » Thu Sep 24, 2009 5:34 am UTC

Granted. Another Mieulium is on the mountain, and I am still here, since I am not a he.

I wish for Helium to stay inert.
Hi. This is Martha. She likes dull objects. She likes you too! Oh wait... I guess you'd better get some brain training on then.

"OBJECTION!"

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Bliop
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Bliop » Thu Sep 24, 2009 3:19 pm UTC

Granted, but you get an extreme dose of it and explode. Or die, whichever one comes first.

I wish for Ben Tennyson to magically appear and destroy all mankind.
Boo!

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Jedifreak
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Jedifreak » Thu Sep 24, 2009 4:08 pm UTC

Granted. He appears, and intoduces a gene to a certain number of people. This gene, after 400 generations, will render everyone who has it sterile. It is a dominant gene. People with the gene are immune to disease, so scientists create a way to put the gene in those who don't have it. Before he leaves, he rapes you. With Tentacles. Lot's of tentacles. Congrats, mankind is destroyed, but not in a time when you can see it, and you have to live with the shame of tentacles.

I wish I understood Calculus.
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neoliminal
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby neoliminal » Thu Sep 24, 2009 4:58 pm UTC

Granted. You now have a perfect understanding of Calculus and while that should be punishment enough, you are unfortunately unable to communicate your understanding to anyone else.

I wish that everyone I met became happy and content.
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Max2009
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Max2009 » Thu Sep 24, 2009 6:21 pm UTC

Granted. You very quickly discover that the most annoying thing in the universe is being miserable while surrounded by cheerful, happy people. You very quickly commit suicide. But no worries, they raise a monument to you, right next to the New Jersey landfills.

I wish I weren't so tired.
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Charlielechat
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Charlielechat » Thu Sep 24, 2009 7:35 pm UTC

Granted. You are now narcoleptic.

I wish for my homework to all be done for me, on time, and to a brilliant standard

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Phrozt
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Phrozt » Thu Sep 24, 2009 8:24 pm UTC

Granted. All of your homework having been done for you, you learn absolutely nothing, fail every test you take and flunk out of college but still have to pay all of the student loans.

I wish an actual zombie virus existed and infected the human race.

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Raptor Jesus
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Raptor Jesus » Thu Sep 24, 2009 11:34 pm UTC

Granted, you are the first one infected.

I wish he was a gender neutral term since I say "he" to everyone, guy or girl.
It is a mad world for anyone to think cellardoor is the most beautiful of all words. :D
“ He went extinct for your sins to save you from Satanasauras Rex”
~ Cretaceous 3:27
“ You Just Lost 'The Game' ”
~ Raptor Jesus
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Millumi
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Millumi » Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:40 am UTC

Granted. Now women don't exist, so since there is no alternative, it's neutral. The human race dies out because they can't reproduce.

I wish the world was a chibi style anime.
Omnia vincit veritas.

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Jedifreak
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Jedifreak » Fri Sep 25, 2009 1:13 am UTC

Granted. Not only that, but cookies are now one of the healthiest foods around, without losing any taste!!! Unfortunately, All cookies are stored on top of Refrigerators in jars, the refrigerators are still as tall as they were before, and ladders are illegal. So illegal that knowing someone who has one can get you put away for three years. Good luck getting your oh so nommable cookies now.

I wish I had a book containing everything I would ever need to know.
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Raptor Jesus
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Raptor Jesus » Fri Sep 25, 2009 1:33 am UTC

Granted, it is bound in an explosive that will be set off at the slightest touch and the only way to defuse the explosive is to read the books instructions that are inside the book.

I wish this kid didn't have cancer :cry:
It is a mad world for anyone to think cellardoor is the most beautiful of all words. :D
“ He went extinct for your sins to save you from Satanasauras Rex”
~ Cretaceous 3:27
“ You Just Lost 'The Game' ”
~ Raptor Jesus
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RedBandit
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby RedBandit » Fri Sep 25, 2009 4:23 am UTC

Granted! The kid is absolutely healthy and cancer free. The child will never be sick again, and live a long, fulfilling, satisfying life. You, on the other hand, now have permanent, horribly embarrassing, explosive diarrhea. Any time you attempt to communicate with a member of the gender you are attracted to, you pass the most horrible, smelly, earth shattering gas. It's so bad, others taste the smell of your bottom in their mouths. Your partner leaves you, unable to formulate words during the break-up due to uncontrollable vomiting. Your boss/teacher makes up some excuse, but everyone laughs at the person let go because of their farts. You are completely unemployable, being unable to speak to half of the population. You are disgusted by the odors of your room. At your funeral, which some of your most loyal remaining friends might attend, your intestines explode in a literal alliterative storm, coating everyone present with your fecal matter. Your casket becomes a meme on 4chan.

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Bliop
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Bliop » Fri Sep 25, 2009 4:49 am UTC

Granted. You're the main character in Happy Tree Friends.

I wish I got into MIT.
Boo!

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Max2009
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Max2009 » Fri Sep 25, 2009 4:50 am UTC

Granted. Your life is now exactly as if you were Kenny from South Park.

Ninja'd

Granted. You're in MIT. Now hurry up, they need those toilets cleaned before class starts.

I wish my breakfast cereal didn't have asbestos in it.
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artifex
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby artifex » Fri Sep 25, 2009 5:10 am UTC

Granted, but it catches on fire!

I wish I had a completely loyal pet caracal

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Bliop
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Bliop » Fri Sep 25, 2009 6:59 am UTC

Granted, but it's loyal to your enemies.

I wish that I was ninja'd. =)
Boo!

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mieulium
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mieulium » Fri Sep 25, 2009 8:09 am UTC

Granted. You will get ninja'd the day you decide to stop going on xkcd. We'll miss you!

I wish Australia had decent cheese cakes.
Hi. This is Martha. She likes dull objects. She likes you too! Oh wait... I guess you'd better get some brain training on then.

"OBJECTION!"

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Max2009
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Max2009 » Fri Sep 25, 2009 8:30 am UTC

Granted. But you can't afford them.

I wish Jedifreak knew the rules.
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Charlielechat
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Charlielechat » Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:26 pm UTC

Granted. But the rules change immediately afterwards, so meh.

I wish this site wasn't so addictive

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Bliop
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Bliop » Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:30 pm UTC

Granted. It becomes more addictive than ever.

I wish for my phone to transform into Optimus Prime.
Boo!

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Charlielechat
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Charlielechat » Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:33 pm UTC

Granted.
It breaks.
Twice.

I wish I could stop using short sentences for humour/impact

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neoliminal
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby neoliminal » Fri Sep 25, 2009 6:09 pm UTC

Granted. Now when you feel the urge to use short sentences for humour/impact, instead you babble incoherently. That's what you get for trying to Rick Roll.

I wish god existed.
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Charlielechat
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Charlielechat » Fri Sep 25, 2009 6:15 pm UTC

Granted. In fact, he already exists.
Proof = http://tinyurl.com/obviousrickroll

I wish I wasn't so sarcastic

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SummerGlauFan
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SummerGlauFan » Fri Sep 25, 2009 8:11 pm UTC

Ok, your sarcasm is now very, very subtle. Most people think you are serious when you are sarcastic.

I wish for a cheeseburger, medium well, with french fries.
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