Corrupt-a-wish

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the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Sat Oct 02, 2010 4:05 am UTC

granted, but it reveals how truly lame you are.

i wish for a way to label people, so that they are not able to remove the labels.

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dark light paladin iv
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby dark light paladin iv » Sat Oct 02, 2010 10:04 pm UTC

Granted but they just get the person next to them to remove them.

I wish for a pocket dimension where you dont age and 1 day there is 1 sec here

the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Sat Oct 02, 2010 11:31 pm UTC

granted, but once u get in u cant get out... and ur the only one there... in the empty infinite void.

i wish to never be tired.

Mumpy
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Mumpy » Sun Oct 03, 2010 3:08 am UTC

Granted, you die of sleep deprivation

I wish for higher wages.

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TheChewanater
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby TheChewanater » Sun Oct 03, 2010 3:34 am UTC

Granted, your GPS's "Wide Area GPS Enhancement" (or W.A.G.E.) can now reach even wider areas.

I wish for complete control of time. Complete.
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No one can agree how to count how many types of people there are. You could ask two people and get 10 different answers.

RedBandit
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby RedBandit » Sun Oct 03, 2010 4:28 am UTC

Granted! However, failure to concentrate on moving time forward at the proper rate at all times will eventually lead to you destroying causality and ultimately creating a paradox which destroys us all.

I wish every super hero ever created was real.
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jendral_hxr
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Sun Oct 03, 2010 9:22 am UTC

Granted, so is the villain.

I wish for religion-approved porn which you could watch with family.
I wish I weren't so stupid

archeleus
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby archeleus » Sun Oct 03, 2010 10:57 am UTC

Granted, though you can no longer sustain an erection.

I wish I had faster internet.
I write a blog rant here.

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thedavidshot
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby thedavidshot » Sun Oct 03, 2010 11:57 am UTC

Okay. You get faster Explorer.

I wish I had a 6 pack of unopened, cold mountain dew.

Xerillum
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Xerillum » Sun Oct 03, 2010 9:09 pm UTC

Granted, but you can only go to 4chan with it.

I wish I had some beef jerky.

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TheChewanater
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby TheChewanater » Sun Oct 03, 2010 9:49 pm UTC

Granted, but it's teriyakI.

I wish I could stop food from spoiling.
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jendral_hxr
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Mon Oct 04, 2010 12:19 am UTC

Granted, it's chips.

I wish for Schleck's roadbike.
I wish I weren't so stupid

the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Mon Oct 04, 2010 3:42 am UTC

granted, but he shoots you for stealing it.

i wish for a suit of armor... that allows me to fly.

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jendral_hxr
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Mon Oct 04, 2010 8:11 am UTC

Granted, but you have to steal it first form KGB's agent.

I wish for Contador's bike
I wish I weren't so stupid

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Kromix
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Kromix » Mon Oct 04, 2010 6:45 pm UTC

Denied! but you do get a dick-in-a-box...


i wish for people to stop saying " i downloaded the software into the computer" when they mean " I installed the software from the CD into the computer"
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the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Mon Oct 04, 2010 7:25 pm UTC

granted, however now people start mispronouncing the word "software," saying it instead as "soft-waiire" which drives u nuts and u eventually kill urself.

i wish for a great idea for a wish.

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dark light paladin iv
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby dark light paladin iv » Mon Oct 04, 2010 8:10 pm UTC

Granted but because at that time you only get one wish you cant make it and by the time you get another wish you forgot what you wanted.

I wish that Nintendo would just release Pokemon black and white in the US already.

the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Mon Oct 04, 2010 8:43 pm UTC

granted. imagine the worst game that's ever been on the market.... said game is forty times better than pokemon.

i wish above poster's wishes no longer had to do with everything they have had to do with up to this point.

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TheChewanater
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby TheChewanater » Mon Oct 04, 2010 10:26 pm UTC

Granted, but I wish the following.

I wish above poster's wishes no longer had to do with everything they have had to do with up to this point.
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No one can agree how to count how many types of people there are. You could ask two people and get 10 different answers.

the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Mon Oct 04, 2010 11:01 pm UTC

not granted. your wish implies changing what already is: "... no longer had to do with..."
thus,

i wish for everything i have wished for up to this point to be [in actuality] granted.

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jendral_hxr
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Tue Oct 05, 2010 12:23 am UTC

Denied, it's "Corrupt-a-wish"

I wish for KissXSis!
I wish I weren't so stupid

the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Tue Oct 05, 2010 1:45 am UTC

granted. but not in this century nor the next.

i wish for the ability to shoot lasers from my finger tips without it causing me pain or damaging my body.

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jendral_hxr
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Tue Oct 05, 2010 8:21 am UTC

Granted, however, it's merely 1 yocto yocto yocto yocto yocto yocto Watt that it's too faint to see.

I wish watching porn makes better cyclist.
I wish I weren't so stupid

Mumpy
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Mumpy » Tue Oct 05, 2010 9:46 am UTC

Granted! owning a bike is now a criminal offence

I wish that I could concentrate.

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jendral_hxr
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Tue Oct 05, 2010 2:09 pm UTC

Granted, you are highly consentrated like 999,999 ppm :D

I wish I could get girls by riding roadbike
Last edited by jendral_hxr on Wed Oct 06, 2010 2:42 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
I wish I weren't so stupid

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bitsplit
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bitsplit » Tue Oct 05, 2010 3:27 pm UTC

Granted. You ride Roadbike, then he rides you. In the process, and quite magically, you become pregnant with triplets. They are all girls. You die during childbirth. The end.

I wish for a recursive government.

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eaglef2
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eaglef2 » Tue Oct 05, 2010 10:52 pm UTC

no

I wish for no government!
"I am a four hundred-foot tall purple Platypus Bear with pink horns and silver wings."
-Azula, Avatar: The Last Airbender.

the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Tue Oct 05, 2010 11:50 pm UTC

granted, however no one acts responsibly and within a week we all end up killing one another.

i wish to be suddenly endowed with all the knowledge i need to get 100% on my assembler programming class.

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eaglef2
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eaglef2 » Wed Oct 06, 2010 1:26 am UTC

granted, but you can't recall any of it during the test

I wish for a blank piece of graphing paper on which I can do my math homework.
"I am a four hundred-foot tall purple Platypus Bear with pink horns and silver wings."
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KrO2
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby KrO2 » Wed Oct 06, 2010 2:02 am UTC

Granted. But you have so much homework that to fit it all on one piece of paper the paper has to be ridiculously large. It becomes almost impossible to find your place on the paper, and you despair utterly.

I wish that I could manipulate probability.

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jendral_hxr
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Wed Oct 06, 2010 2:46 am UTC

Granted! You could manipulate the probability of things you like to 0, also things you hate to 1.

I wish this box hacks itself.
I wish I weren't so stupid

the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Wed Oct 06, 2010 4:04 am UTC

not granted. instead i hack your computer with an axe.

i wish for unlimited forever stamps.

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freaki
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby freaki » Wed Oct 06, 2010 6:09 pm UTC

granted, however stamps are now obselete as we have just figured out a way to send objects through phone lines and the internet

I wish I knew why my internet slows to a crawl around 6 or 7.
Ever looked at the sky and thought "why?"
no?
me neither.

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bitsplit
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bitsplit » Wed Oct 06, 2010 6:15 pm UTC

I wish I knew why my internet slows to a crawl around 6 or 7.

Granted. It's because it has to do a lot more stuff then. Since there is a limit on the amount of information that can be managed in transmission or processing per unit time, eventually your machine overloads, and the amount of information to be transmitted exceeds the bandwidth allocated by your ISP. This, however, has no real solution, since a cat is going to take a huge piss on your machine while it is on, frying it. You will then have no more machine.

I wish for recursive government, again.

the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Wed Oct 06, 2010 6:58 pm UTC

not granted, instead a dog takes a shit on your couch.

i wish for the ability to control all animals, however and whenever i want.

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jendral_hxr
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Thu Oct 07, 2010 8:34 am UTC

Granted. but you lost control of yourself in return.

I wish for being able to push my roadbike to 100kph on flat
I wish I weren't so stupid

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freaki
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby freaki » Thu Oct 07, 2010 9:12 am UTC

granted, you crash into a lamp-post and die a horrible, slow, painful death

I wish the cup of coffee I just had would hurry up and take effect
Ever looked at the sky and thought "why?"
no?
me neither.

the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Thu Oct 07, 2010 2:02 pm UTC

granted, but what it does is make you sleepy.

i wish to be able to transfer data from my computer to my mind.

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dark light paladin iv
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby dark light paladin iv » Thu Oct 07, 2010 3:27 pm UTC

Granted but you get the blue screen of death.

I wish for average luck.

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existentialpanda
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby existentialpanda » Thu Oct 07, 2010 5:11 pm UTC

Granted. Every story you submit to MLIA will be posted.

I wish I wasn't sick.


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