Corrupt-a-wish

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dark light paladin iv
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby dark light paladin iv » Mon Nov 08, 2010 3:24 am UTC

Granted but do to a misconception involving cheese they attack us and we all die.

I wish i could Apprivoise!(Google it along with star driver)

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KrO2
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby KrO2 » Mon Nov 08, 2010 4:34 am UTC

Granted. There is a slight whisper, a sudden spacious whisper of open ambient sound. Every hi fi set in the world, every radio, every television, every cassette recorder, every woofer, every tweeter, every mid-range driver in the world quietly turns itself on.
Every tin can, every dust bin, every window, every car, every wine glass, every sheet of rusty metal becomes activated as an acoustically perfect sounding board. (From The Hitchhiker's Guide, obviously)
Every living human then becomes insane and/or dead because of the sheer quantity of noise.

I wish to survive the raptor invasion.

the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Mon Nov 08, 2010 7:01 am UTC

granted. but not the second wave.

i wish to retain all these things that i am studying for my real analysis exam, and to know where/how to apply them.

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Triangle_Man
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Triangle_Man » Mon Nov 08, 2010 7:44 pm UTC

Granted. However, you also retain information from TV shows and the Internet when you invarably get destracted and have to take a break. Your mind is now so cluttered with information that you find it hard to focus on the nature of the test.

I wish that people would stop writing Mary Sue fanfics.
I really should be working right now, but somehow I don't have the energy.

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KrO2
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby KrO2 » Tue Nov 09, 2010 3:05 am UTC

The only way that will ever happen is with the abolition and subsequent non-replacement of the written word. Okay, that's what happens.

I wish this wish was not recursive.

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existentialpanda
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby existentialpanda » Tue Nov 09, 2010 9:32 pm UTC

Granted. Now it's useless.

I wish to pass chem.

Gypped
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Gypped » Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:29 pm UTC

Granted, but you fail all your other courses.

I wish pineapple

RedBandit
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby RedBandit » Wed Nov 10, 2010 4:06 am UTC

Granted! A pineapple arrives in your hands instantly. However, the pins have already been pulled. Within seconds your body is reduced to a fine spray of red mist. Would you like your possessions identified?

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HarvesteR
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby HarvesteR » Wed Nov 10, 2010 5:07 am UTC

Granted, but due to an incident involving a squirrel and a fax machine, you're banned from either participating or attending.

I wish I had a main battle tank so I could plow through traffic.
The next sentence is the truth. - The previous sentence is a lie.

the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Wed Nov 10, 2010 5:14 am UTC

granted, but the tank is set up in such a way that every five minutes you lose control of it and it remotely is controlled by the firing of neurons in the brain of a spider monkey somewhere else in the world... avoid bridges.

i wish 1

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HarvesteR
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby HarvesteR » Wed Nov 10, 2010 5:25 am UTC

Granted, but it's immaginary.

I wish I had the point-of-view gun.
The next sentence is the truth. - The previous sentence is a lie.

the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Wed Nov 10, 2010 5:51 am UTC

granted, but it's broken and makes people see things from only my point-of-view.

i wish for a bottle of raspberry green tea vitarain that never goes empty.

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HarvesteR
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby HarvesteR » Wed Nov 10, 2010 5:55 am UTC

Granted, but it only has a few drops left in it, and it also never gets full.

I wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow.
The next sentence is the truth. - The previous sentence is a lie.

the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Wed Nov 10, 2010 6:00 am UTC

granted. in fact you are fired. also you will never be able to hold another job in your life.

i wish to be able to throw a dart hard enough to launch it into orbit.

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HarvesteR
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby HarvesteR » Wed Nov 10, 2010 6:03 am UTC

Granted, it makes a complete orbit and lands on your back 90 minutes later (ouch!)


I wish I could learn stuff as in The Matrix
The next sentence is the truth. - The previous sentence is a lie.

the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Wed Nov 10, 2010 6:15 am UTC

granted, you have the ability, but not the technology.

i wish i could write a lg lg n sorting algorithm >>

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HarvesteR
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby HarvesteR » Wed Nov 10, 2010 2:03 pm UTC

Granted, your programmer arch-rival solves P=NP the next day :roll:

I wish I had telekinesis.
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the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Wed Nov 10, 2010 9:04 pm UTC

granted, but only on prime numbered days of leap years.

i wish i didnt have a headache.

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jendral_hxr
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Thu Nov 11, 2010 1:26 am UTC

Granted, you lost your head-, leaving you merely the -ache.

I wish I were cute.
I wish I weren't so stupid

Gypped
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Gypped » Thu Nov 11, 2010 1:33 am UTC

Granted, I find you cute.

I wish I was more determined to study

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existentialpanda
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby existentialpanda » Thu Nov 11, 2010 5:58 am UTC

Granted, now you will never be satisfied until you know every possible bit of information in the universe. Good luck with that.

I wish for the ability to invoke cartoon physics.

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jendral_hxr
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Thu Nov 11, 2010 10:25 am UTC

Granted, Thermodynamic laws don't longer exist.

I wish I were faster on climb.
I wish I weren't so stupid

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HarvesteR
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby HarvesteR » Thu Nov 11, 2010 3:39 pm UTC

Granted, you can now climb faster, less safely, and fall harder from higher up.

I wish for internet that doesn't drop out every 5 minutes
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Spots
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Spots » Thu Nov 11, 2010 7:40 pm UTC

Granted. You get internet that falls out every 3.45 minutes.

I wish I could find Skype for my phone!
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eaglef2
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eaglef2 » Thu Nov 11, 2010 11:25 pm UTC

granted, your phone now has voice chat and conferencing capabilities...like it already did

I wish for the universe to be destroyed.
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the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Fri Nov 12, 2010 7:03 am UTC

granted. just kidding... not granted.

i wish true.

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TheChewanater
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby TheChewanater » Sat Nov 13, 2010 2:07 am UTC

False.

I wish people would make actual wishes for us to corrupt.
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the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Sat Nov 13, 2010 2:51 am UTC

Granted, but they are all really lame and bring u no pleasure in corrupting.

I wish for pointers and dereferencing irl.

black_hat_guy
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby black_hat_guy » Sun Nov 14, 2010 1:12 am UTC

Granted. You are popped out of this reality and are now an ordinary programmer in the higher one.

I wish to solve the Riemann Hypothesis.
Billy was a chemist.
He isn't any more.
What he thought was H2O
was H2SO4.

the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Sun Nov 14, 2010 3:56 am UTC

Granted, you solve herbert riemann's hypothesis, which is basically the triangle inequality only without absolute values :p

i wish my friend Catherine could open doors for himself

black_hat_guy
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby black_hat_guy » Sun Nov 14, 2010 4:31 am UTC

Granted. Your cat gains more knowledge and power and eventually takes revenge on you for enslaving it.

I wish to determine whether the zeta function has any non-trivial zeros outside of the line Re(z) = 1/2 :P
Billy was a chemist.
He isn't any more.
What he thought was H2O
was H2SO4.

the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Sun Nov 14, 2010 4:44 am UTC

granted: it does.

i wish i could come up with really good algorithms.

RedBandit
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby RedBandit » Mon Nov 15, 2010 12:46 am UTC

Granted! However, you must lose all concepts of emotion and devote your brain entirely to logic. The conversion will cost you dearly in ways you will no longer understand.

I wish my body would never age.
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the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Mon Nov 15, 2010 4:07 am UTC

granted, but your mind goes back to the state it was in when u were an infant and never progresses.

i wish i could write in different fonts (by hand)

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t1mm01994
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby t1mm01994 » Mon Nov 15, 2010 6:22 pm UTC

You can, but mankind is suddenly reduced to reading only 1 font...

I can has an internet?

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Triangle_Man
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Triangle_Man » Mon Nov 15, 2010 8:54 pm UTC

No you cannot.

I wish that I could get to bed at a reasonable hour.
I really should be working right now, but somehow I don't have the energy.

The Mighty Thesaurus wrote:My moral system allows me to bitch slap you for typing that.

Gypped
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Gypped » Mon Nov 15, 2010 9:13 pm UTC

Granted, the hour you go to bed is reasonable for people on the opposite side of the globe.

I wish everyone else failed the math subject GRE so that my score looks good by comparison.

the mishanator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby the mishanator » Tue Nov 16, 2010 12:43 am UTC

granted, but as a result all mathematical progress is stopped... thanks a lot.

i wish for 220 ohm resistors.

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SummerGlauFan
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SummerGlauFan » Tue Nov 16, 2010 4:34 am UTC

Agreed, they fall on your head, all at once.

Probably in a sack.

I wish for a pet gerbil, alive and healthy.
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I knew from that moment that she was something special"


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Thesh
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Thesh » Tue Nov 16, 2010 6:41 am UTC

Granted. However, it soon escapes and chews holes in every piece of furniture you own.

I wish for everyone in the world to be happy, except for me.
Summum ius, summa iniuria.


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