Corrupt-a-wish

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Lorenz
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Lorenz » Wed Jul 27, 2011 5:31 am UTC

Hsboufe: Po b npnfou pg nbeoftt zpv nblf b tjmmz svmf.
J xjti uif ofyu qptufs, xifo nbljoh tfotf pg uijt, nblft bopuifs tjmmz svmf uibu xjmm ibwf up cf efdjqifsfe gps uif ofyu qfstpo up qptu.

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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Wed Jul 27, 2011 6:14 am UTC

Granted, but because I don't feel like translating, the result wasn't what you expected and you are disappointed.

I wish to be a masochist.

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jendral_hxr
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Wed Jul 27, 2011 6:33 am UTC

Granted, but it won't look good.

I wish for comprehensive list of fetishes
I wish I weren't so stupid

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Sean Quixote
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sean Quixote » Wed Jul 27, 2011 8:33 am UTC

Okay, you get a comprehensive list of talismans, amulets, runes, rings, and charms.

I wish I could get away with murder.

Aro
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Aro » Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:53 pm UTC

Granted. Because that was your own murder : you commited suicide.

I wish I could beat Deep Blue at Chess.

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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Wed Jul 27, 2011 2:24 pm UTC

Granted, you now have a sledgehammer.

I wish for power armor Starship Troopers style.

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maxmillean
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby maxmillean » Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:50 am UTC

Granted, but it weighs so much you can't walk.

I wish for mad guitar skills.
"We have choices. Some people like to stand in the rain without an umbrella. That's what it means to live free."
"This is not the end, this isn't even the beginning of the end. What we have may just be the end of the beginning."

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xX17GHDUDE17Xx
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xX17GHDUDE17Xx » Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:03 am UTC

Granted, the only guitars you encounter, however, are cheerful.

I wish my gf would learn to play euphonium with me :shock:
"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind" -Ghandi

Wrong. All that does is eliminate humanity's depth perception.

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Sean Quixote
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sean Quixote » Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:13 am UTC

Granted but she won't stop calling it a damned tuba...

I wish economics was comprehensible to mortals.

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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Thu Jul 28, 2011 2:29 am UTC

Granted, but comprehending it makes you a nihilist.

I wish for the ability to summon naked women (attractive/attracted to me, disease free). Oh, and a cure for the impotence that obviously comes with any wish like this.

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jendral_hxr
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Thu Jul 28, 2011 6:29 am UTC

Granted, but you no longer possess love nor lust.

I wish for girlfriend--ordinary one will do.
I wish I weren't so stupid

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Evengeduld
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Evengeduld » Thu Jul 28, 2011 8:11 am UTC

oh you said GIRLfriend sorry but this dude will have to do...


I wish for more sun...
~If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.~

cjmcjmcjmcjm wrote:Why study physical chemistry when you can study ethanol metabolism through practical methods?

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maxmillean
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby maxmillean » Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:22 am UTC

Granted, but the whole world catches fire.

I wish to be able to get a better night's sleep
"We have choices. Some people like to stand in the rain without an umbrella. That's what it means to live free."
"This is not the end, this isn't even the beginning of the end. What we have may just be the end of the beginning."

Aro
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Aro » Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:35 am UTC

Granted. And your night's sleep is sooo good that you'll never wake up again. Sweet dreams.

I wish I had free flights between UK and France in order to see my girlfriend again.

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Evengeduld
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Evengeduld » Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:05 pm UTC

Granted here is a canon...


I wish I was rich
~If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.~

cjmcjmcjmcjm wrote:Why study physical chemistry when you can study ethanol metabolism through practical methods?

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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Thu Jul 28, 2011 10:29 pm UTC

Granted, but you lose it all in the lawsuits regarding the selling of faulty cannons.

I wish for a computer that can play (in good quality) any movie that has ever been or will ever be created.

feyayeruka
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby feyayeruka » Fri Jul 29, 2011 12:49 am UTC

granted, but then you waste your whole life away watching movies and die of starvation, friendless and alone in a darkened room

I wish it would rain enough to fill the tanks

blademan9999
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Fri Jul 29, 2011 6:00 am UTC

Granted the probes attempt to flood the city.
I wish we had weapons to stop them.
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Evengeduld
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Evengeduld » Fri Jul 29, 2011 6:23 am UTC

We have a weapon, they are only after you so they will leave when they eat you

I wish I had cake
~If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.~

cjmcjmcjmcjm wrote:Why study physical chemistry when you can study ethanol metabolism through practical methods?

blademan9999
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Fri Jul 29, 2011 7:29 am UTC

Granted, the probes eat it.
I wish the probes would stop eating cake.
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Evengeduld
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Evengeduld » Fri Jul 29, 2011 7:32 am UTC

The probes overeat and die after rebooting they won't listen to you anymore

I wish for one Legendary perfect wish
~If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.~

cjmcjmcjmcjm wrote:Why study physical chemistry when you can study ethanol metabolism through practical methods?

blademan9999
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Fri Jul 29, 2011 7:33 am UTC

Granted, the wish is for more probes.
I wish the creators of the probes would try an deactivate them.
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Evengeduld
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Evengeduld » Fri Jul 29, 2011 7:37 am UTC

Granted,

Manual override forbidden step away from the computer.
MANUAL OVERRIDE FORBIDDEN STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER.
LAST WARNING.

ZAP

well he tried...

I wish for a solution against the probes.
~If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.~

cjmcjmcjmcjm wrote:Why study physical chemistry when you can study ethanol metabolism through practical methods?

blademan9999
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Fri Jul 29, 2011 5:50 pm UTC

Granted, the solution you think up will take centuries.
I wish for a interspecies alliance to try and defeat he probes.
http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/spam/
That link kills spam[/size][/b][/u]

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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Sat Jul 30, 2011 8:14 pm UTC

Granted, but since I/We -the one/many who is/are the probes- am/are granting the wish, it fails.

I wish blademan9999 would stop bringing Me/Us in to fulfill every wish.

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jendral_hxr
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Sun Jul 31, 2011 9:56 am UTC

Granted, blademan is now anti-social (even to xkcd members)

I wish for loving-caring female girlfriend, the one with ordinary look will surely do.
I wish I weren't so stupid

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Poopenheimer
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Poopenheimer » Tue Aug 02, 2011 10:38 am UTC

Granted, you fall in love over the internet. [dissapointment] She's is really a man.[/dissapointment]

I wish form a can of American Coca-cola signed by Gabe Newell.

blademan9999
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Tue Aug 02, 2011 8:18 pm UTC

Beacuase u misi speeled from it creates a weird paradox that creates more....
Spoiler:
not probes.

I wish for less nazis.
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Poopenheimer
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Poopenheimer » Tue Aug 02, 2011 9:16 pm UTC

Granted, there will never be any Nazis ever again. But only after they've killed the Jews.

I wish for a lamp that ejaculates when you rub it.

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maxmillean
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby maxmillean » Wed Aug 03, 2011 12:42 am UTC

Granted, but every time it ejaculates it causes the power grid to shut down for a week.

I wish for an obedient pet raptor.
"We have choices. Some people like to stand in the rain without an umbrella. That's what it means to live free."
"This is not the end, this isn't even the beginning of the end. What we have may just be the end of the beginning."

Randomizer
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Randomizer » Wed Aug 03, 2011 12:58 am UTC

Granted. It obeys my every command.

I command the raptors to eat you.

I wish for a perfect voice so I can get paid to sing.
Belial wrote:I'm all outraged out. Call me when the violent rebellion starts.

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thorgold
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby thorgold » Wed Aug 03, 2011 5:46 am UTC

Randomizer wrote:Granted. It obeys my every command.

I command the raptors to eat you.

I wish for a perfect voice so I can get paid to sing.

Granted, your voice is capable of perfectly hitting a wide range of notes in a pleasing tone. Unfortunately, your breath capacity is so small you can only sing one word at a time between breaths.

I wish that my calf muscle would loosen up and stop hurting.
You can refuse to think, but you can't refuse the consequences of not thinking.

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Evengeduld
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Evengeduld » Wed Aug 03, 2011 7:23 am UTC

Granted It dropped on the floor

I wish for Blademan to get his probes back online
~If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.~

cjmcjmcjmcjm wrote:Why study physical chemistry when you can study ethanol metabolism through practical methods?

blademan9999
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Sun Aug 07, 2011 3:25 pm UTC

Granted, they consume all the matter in a 1000 light year radius.
I wish for a massive alliance to stop them.
http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/spam/
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Sean Quixote
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sean Quixote » Sun Aug 07, 2011 8:40 pm UTC

Okay, but it's an alliance of Ninja-Pirate-Zombie-Robot-Cowboy-Hobos-with-Chain-Katanas-and-Several-Revolvers-and-the-Power-of-Friendship-Fighting-Vampire-Nazis-with-Dark-Magic-Riding-Cyborg-Dinosaurs-with-Head-Mounted-Lasers-Voiced-By-Kevin-Bacon.

I wish Bob Saget wasn't so amazing.

blademan9999
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Mon Aug 08, 2011 7:51 am UTC

Granted, it's because of the probes.
I wish for another alliance.
http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/spam/
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Evengeduld
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Evengeduld » Mon Aug 08, 2011 9:48 am UTC

granted but the three alliances fight out an earth destroying war (again...)

I wish for a peace resolution between the alliances
~If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.~

cjmcjmcjmcjm wrote:Why study physical chemistry when you can study ethanol metabolism through practical methods?

blademan9999
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Mon Aug 08, 2011 7:44 pm UTC

Granted but it causes them to be defeated by the probes.
I wish for a third alliance.
http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/spam/
That link kills spam[/size][/b][/u]

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xX17GHDUDE17Xx
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xX17GHDUDE17Xx » Wed Aug 10, 2011 1:30 am UTC

Granted. Gandalf the Grey, Gandalf the White, Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Night, Benito Mussolini, the Blue Meanie, Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, the Terminator, Captian Kirk and Darth Vader, Lo-Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S Preston, Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock and Hulk Hogan all come out of nowhere lightning fast and kick Bruce Schneier in his cowboy ass.

I wish for more USoUD references, like now.

Edit: Nice Norris filter...
"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind" -Ghandi

Wrong. All that does is eliminate humanity's depth perception.

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Sean Quixote
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sean Quixote » Wed Aug 10, 2011 2:13 am UTC

Okay, but I dunno what that is and I'm feeling too lazy at the moment to look it up. So, you're going to have to wait until "now" is, you know, now. Because that sure as heck ain't right now. ;)

I wish "reality television" had never been conceived by mankind.


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