Corrupt-a-wish

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SmoothBlade
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SmoothBlade » Fri Sep 16, 2011 2:14 pm UTC

granted, you get a disposable camera filled with pictures of dogs having sex, with no empty film remaining

I wish to not be sick anymore
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a-wan
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby a-wan » Fri Sep 16, 2011 5:07 pm UTC

Granted, but you are also not sick any less.

I wish I never had to wait.

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SmoothBlade
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SmoothBlade » Sat Sep 17, 2011 3:19 am UTC

Granted, you have collapsed on the floor dead because you can no longer wait for death.


I wish for more tissues
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Lorenz
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Lorenz » Sat Sep 17, 2011 3:26 am UTC

Granted, they are wet.

I wish smoothblade rolls a 1 in the "roll to dodge" thread.

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SmoothBlade
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SmoothBlade » Sat Sep 17, 2011 3:30 am UTC

Granted, you roll a 1 too.

I wish for unused dry tissues.
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Sean Quixote
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sean Quixote » Sat Sep 17, 2011 3:42 am UTC

Okay, fine. If that's what you're in to... :roll:

I wish Lorenz was still a counter. :(

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Lorenz
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Lorenz » Sat Sep 17, 2011 3:56 am UTC

Granted, but he might confuse different counting games.

I wish I had a bot to count for me.

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Sean Quixote
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sean Quixote » Sat Sep 17, 2011 5:24 am UTC

Granted, but it forgot to count in Sean's new Zeckendorf counting thread, and now Sean is sad.


I wish he wasn't sad, and not to mention himself in the third person...

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Lorenz
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Lorenz » Sat Sep 17, 2011 5:46 am UTC

He is no longer sad, as he now has to mention himself in the second person. (And I didn't post because I didn't understand it).


I wish I understood it.

merelydicta
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby merelydicta » Sat Sep 17, 2011 6:52 am UTC

Granted. It understands you now too.Filled with a new total sense of understanding, you cease to function and die.

I wish I wasn't working on the weekends.

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Sean Quixote
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sean Quixote » Sat Sep 17, 2011 8:55 pm UTC

Granted. You aren't -- you're wasting time on the intertubes! As a result, you are fired.

You wish you could speak in the zeroth person.

Randomizer
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Randomizer » Sat Sep 17, 2011 11:13 pm UTC

Granted. I can and do. But not here, so you can't pick up on how it's done.

I wish that it would be 90 - 100 degrees fahrenheit outside all year long so that I could comfortably swim outside all year long.
Belial wrote:I'm all outraged out. Call me when the violent rebellion starts.

merelydicta
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby merelydicta » Sun Sep 18, 2011 3:38 pm UTC

Granted. The weather is as you wished for. FYI we needed to use all the surface water in the world to grant your wish.

I wish I had a better golf swing.

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xkcd follower
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Sun Sep 18, 2011 10:36 pm UTC

Granted.Now your swing CAN kill people on the first try, though you still can't hit balls for anything.

I wish to know everything to get As in all my school classes and I would not fail or get kicked out or do something to kill myself.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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LittleShadowMagnet
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby LittleShadowMagnet » Sun Sep 18, 2011 10:48 pm UTC

Granted, you get a's in all your classes and thus would not fail nor get kicked out nor do something to kill yourself, but by mistake you learn everything and your head can not cope with the knowledge so you fall into a coma

I wish tomorrow was not good bye
Felltir wrote: ...Shadow is a better online debater than me.

Fuck.

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jendral_hxr
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Mon Sep 19, 2011 2:21 am UTC

Granted. You now have your chimera, pardon me for my spelling.

I wish for love.
I wish I weren't so stupid

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Lorenz
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Lorenz » Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:14 am UTC

Granted. You have all the love in the world, but nobody to share it with.

I wish Sean Quixote had no speaking restrictions.

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MisterH
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby MisterH » Mon Sep 19, 2011 2:37 pm UTC

granted, however this triggers a chain of events that result in the destruction of the universe that can only be stopped by all the love in the world.

I wish for the best 'your mom' joke ever.

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SmoothBlade
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SmoothBlade » Mon Sep 19, 2011 2:40 pm UTC

Granted, but you don't get it

I wish for my built up homework from being sick to be finished
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Quantum Sunshine
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quantum Sunshine » Tue Sep 20, 2011 3:25 am UTC

Granted, but you spend the rest of the year doing it. Failing all you're other homework and tests.

I wish that SmoothBlade wasn't ever sick, because being sick sucks.

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xX17GHDUDE17Xx
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xX17GHDUDE17Xx » Tue Sep 20, 2011 3:26 am UTC

Granted, he now gets injured constantly.

I wish for kitties!
"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind" -Ghandi

Wrong. All that does is eliminate humanity's depth perception.

merelydicta
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby merelydicta » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:01 am UTC

Granted. But the kitties get injured constantly too.

I wish for a nice medium rare steak (and to be able to eat and enjoy it).

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Evengeduld
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Evengeduld » Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:50 am UTC

Granted you get a well done steak

I wish for a desk rocket launcher
~If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.~

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xX17GHDUDE17Xx
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xX17GHDUDE17Xx » Wed Sep 21, 2011 1:52 am UTC

Granted, no rockets.

I wish for musical inspiration.
"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind" -Ghandi

Wrong. All that does is eliminate humanity's depth perception.

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SmoothBlade
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SmoothBlade » Wed Sep 21, 2011 11:54 am UTC

Granted, moments before you die you get the inspiration for the perfect song, but die before anything could ever come from it


I wish for some beef jerky
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madjo
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby madjo » Wed Sep 21, 2011 12:53 pm UTC

Granted, but it's so fresh it's still attached to the animal.

I wish for a nice holiday.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

merelydicta
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby merelydicta » Thu Sep 22, 2011 2:13 am UTC

Granted. You get a holiday in the lovely White Sands Missile Range. It's lovely this time of year, what with all the unexploded ordinance coming along nicely and that.

I wish to get reactivated for active duty instead of this paper warrior nonsense.

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SmoothBlade
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SmoothBlade » Thu Sep 22, 2011 3:51 am UTC

Granted. You will be shipped out in 20 years.


I wish for a flaming poodle of Wisconsin
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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Thu Sep 22, 2011 4:33 am UTC

Granted, now PETA sends you death threats.

I wish for immunity to fire.

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madjo
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby madjo » Thu Sep 22, 2011 8:56 am UTC

Granted, but now you are allergic to oxygen.

I wish I had a lighthouse.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

merelydicta
Posts: 12
Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2011 6:48 am UTC
Location: Singapore

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby merelydicta » Thu Sep 22, 2011 11:26 am UTC

Granted. It's inaccessible 364 days of the year.

I wish for a spam musubi

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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Fri Sep 23, 2011 2:40 am UTC

Granted, your friend personally makes sure every piece is delicious.

I wish for spring break.

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Lorenz
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Lorenz » Fri Sep 23, 2011 3:18 am UTC

Granted, your spring breaks and hits you in the face.

I miss the multiple wishing I once had. I wish I had 3 wishes per post.

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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Fri Sep 23, 2011 4:38 am UTC

Granted, but at least 2 of them will not be granted.

I wish for less phlegm.

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madjo
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby madjo » Fri Sep 23, 2011 9:23 am UTC

granted, you are now dead.

I wish I could keep my plants alive.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

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a-wan
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby a-wan » Fri Sep 23, 2011 2:17 pm UTC

Granted. You are now water, air, and sunshine.

I wish I had slept more last night.

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Lorenz
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Lorenz » Fri Sep 23, 2011 2:23 pm UTC

Granted, you wake up feeling even more tired.

1.- I wish my next wish was not granted
2.- I wish my previous wish was granted
3.- I wish my 3 wishes in each post could be granted.

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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Sat Sep 24, 2011 7:42 am UTC

Granted, your 3 wishes in each post could be granted, but at most 1 will be. No, logic bombs don't count; just wishing for something to not be granted, and it not being granted, doesn't count as a wish granted.

I wish for a pile of human kidneys (not including my own).

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xX17GHDUDE17Xx
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xX17GHDUDE17Xx » Sat Sep 24, 2011 7:50 am UTC

Granted. You know have a large collection of children's knees, you sick pervert.

I wish for Lunesta (again... I think I've made this wish before)
"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind" -Ghandi

Wrong. All that does is eliminate humanity's depth perception.

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Sean Quixote
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sean Quixote » Sat Sep 24, 2011 10:53 am UTC

That sounds like a stripper's name. You got it. But just remember, you can't turn a ho into a housewife.

I wish I knew what time it was.


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