Corrupt-a-wish

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xkcd follower
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Sun Sep 25, 2011 2:17 am UTC

Granted. Now you know the time AFTER it passes. Too Bad you forget everything too late.

I wish for a RISK board with all the pieces and not destroyed or damaged, tainted with chemicals, or with anything else.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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RollingHead
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby RollingHead » Sun Sep 25, 2011 9:30 pm UTC

Granted, but nobody wants to play with you.
I wish I could afford my own appartment, nice and big and in a good neighbourhood of my city.

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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Mon Sep 26, 2011 3:41 am UTC

Granted, but the neighbors are always whining about their children's missing knees.

I wish for steak sauce.

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xX17GHDUDE17Xx
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xX17GHDUDE17Xx » Mon Sep 26, 2011 6:34 am UTC

Granted, but instead of A-1, you get B-2. While the difference in taste is not drastic, it is enough to be disconcerting, and you don't enjoy your meal at all as a result.

I wish for Oklahoma to lose 2 games this year in football.

(Lunesta is that sleeping pill that displayed a butterfly throughout its commercials.)
"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind" -Ghandi

Wrong. All that does is eliminate humanity's depth perception.

blademan9999
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Tue Sep 27, 2011 7:59 am UTC

Granted but you accidentally bet your life savings that thy would lose.
I wish I knew what happened to the probes.
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Sean Quixote
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sean Quixote » Tue Sep 27, 2011 8:05 am UTC

I will tell you, but not in this thread... :twisted:

I wish I was really rich or something.

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Sytri
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sytri » Tue Sep 27, 2011 10:31 am UTC

Granted, you become a 500lb blob of "something"

I wish it was the weekend already.
Apathy will kill us all. Or not. Whatever.

merelydicta
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby merelydicta » Tue Sep 27, 2011 3:49 pm UTC

Granted. The weekend is here...and you've become Bernie Lomax.

I wish to go home.

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a-wan
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby a-wan » Tue Sep 27, 2011 4:49 pm UTC

Granted. You are now at your home page.

I wish to be done with my current paper.

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xkcd follower
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Wed Sep 28, 2011 7:41 pm UTC

Granted. Now you have paper cuts.

I wish for a rock.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

ddog
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ddog » Wed Sep 28, 2011 8:37 pm UTC

Granted. It's nice and shiny and sits on top of your grave.

I wish for a fish.

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xX17GHDUDE17Xx
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xX17GHDUDE17Xx » Wed Sep 28, 2011 10:10 pm UTC

Granted. I left it on the ground somewhere though.

I wish for the immediate extinction of all arachnids
"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind" -Ghandi

Wrong. All that does is eliminate humanity's depth perception.

DrHades
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby DrHades » Wed Sep 28, 2011 10:45 pm UTC

Granted. And the number of flies has been rising geometrically ever since and they are starting to get angry and offensive...

I wish for a pony.

blademan9999
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Thu Sep 29, 2011 3:09 am UTC

Granted, but it's not the amazing horse.

I wish I knew why the probes have been so quiet.
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mathgeek17
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mathgeek17 » Thu Sep 29, 2011 3:19 am UTC

Granted, but it's because they didn't want you to know about the party only you weren't invited to.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

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Sean Quixote
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sean Quixote » Thu Sep 29, 2011 3:22 am UTC

Granted, but once you do think of something to wish for, you then wish you didn't.

I wish I could perceive the entire electromagnetic spectrum.

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Lorenz
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Lorenz » Thu Sep 29, 2011 4:32 am UTC

Granted. People just think you are daltonic.

I wish I exhibited quantum effects.

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Sean Quixote
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sean Quixote » Thu Sep 29, 2011 4:39 am UTC

Granted. But now you aren't sure whether you're a particle or a wave.

I wish I knew EVERYTHING.

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Lorenz
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Lorenz » Thu Sep 29, 2011 4:43 am UTC

Granted. You met Everything Smith last night, and he didn't want to be friends with you.

I wish Everything Smith was my friend.

Edit: Lousy corruption... but meh.

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Tomlidich
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Tomlidich » Fri Sep 30, 2011 5:51 pm UTC

granted, but he is a raptor in disguise. he eats your face.

i wish i had a firetruck.

mathgeek17
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mathgeek17 » Fri Sep 30, 2011 6:53 pm UTC

Granted, but it's a Decepticon in disguise.

I wish the queueing trick would really work.

ddog
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ddog » Fri Sep 30, 2011 7:23 pm UTC

Granted, though it just makes you want to fap like there's no tomorrow.

I wish i had a crossbow.

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xkcd follower
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Fri Sep 30, 2011 11:32 pm UTC

Granted, but now you have no ammo and you are in a fight with an assassin with a sniper gun. Sucks to run now.

I wish I could win in this thread.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Sat Oct 01, 2011 3:00 am UTC

Granted, everyone in this thread wins, but since there are no losers, there's no fun in winning.

I wish for the ability to brag about my perfect crime without getting caught.

mathgeek17
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mathgeek17 » Sat Oct 01, 2011 3:06 am UTC

Granted, but as you walk down the street telling someone about your nefarious deeds, you slip on a banana peel and break your back.

I wish my English reading was done.

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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Sat Oct 01, 2011 3:22 am UTC

Granted, someone else read it long before you did. Probably. I assume at least the editor and author.

I wish for the ability to think myself thinner or fatter.

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farnsworth
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby farnsworth » Sat Oct 01, 2011 12:52 pm UTC

Granted, you can think of yourself being thinner or fatter, but that's all. You can't do anything about it.

I wish everyone's post count was not temporarily zero last night.

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Lorenz
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Lorenz » Sat Oct 01, 2011 1:03 pm UTC

Granted. They weren't. Only yours was.

I wish I could abuse the Alma Matter round in MC to catch the red rabbit.

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Bonooru1234
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Bonooru1234 » Sat Oct 01, 2011 9:28 pm UTC

granted, all of the rabbits are blue

I wish that i could always integrate any equation

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Quantum Sunshine
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quantum Sunshine » Sat Oct 01, 2011 10:09 pm UTC

Granted, but you can no longer ever find the derivative to any equation.

I wish I knew the ultimate question to the answer 42.

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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Sat Oct 01, 2011 10:54 pm UTC

Granted, but the answer is for a different universe. Since the Ultimate Answer and the Ultimate Question can not exist in the same universe.

I wish for science to build/grow me a girlfriend.

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xX17GHDUDE17Xx
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xX17GHDUDE17Xx » Sat Oct 01, 2011 11:24 pm UTC

Granted. Two scientists (a male and a female) just finished up. Now you have to wait 18 years, 9 months.

I wish for pizza.
"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind" -Ghandi

Wrong. All that does is eliminate humanity's depth perception.

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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Sat Oct 01, 2011 11:27 pm UTC

Granted. It's olive pizza, my favorite. Hope you don't mind that I took a slice.

I wish for suspended animation for 18 years and 9 months to wait for my girlfriend.

mathgeek17
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mathgeek17 » Sun Oct 02, 2011 3:21 am UTC

Granted, but the person who filled out your paperwork accidentally wrote 18 decades and 9 months.

I wish I could answer the question "Doctor Who?"
P.S. just watched the finale, LOVED IT!!!!!

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SmoothBlade
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SmoothBlade » Sun Oct 02, 2011 5:46 am UTC

Granted, but you are left greatly unsatisfied by the answer and it ruins the series for you


I wish for a pickle, a Barrett 50 cal, some ammo for said sniper rifle, three miles of string, a complex pulley system, a deserted island, and 47 Polish children.
Otherwise known as Cheesy or Machete

A conservative furry! What a rarity!

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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Sun Oct 02, 2011 1:23 pm UTC

Granted, but Polish fathers are immune to bullets and can swim forever. It does not end well for you.

I wish for my girlfriend to discover and use effective ageless immortality on herself when she's roughly 20, and to greet me when I wake from suspended animation.

mathgeek17
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mathgeek17 » Sun Oct 02, 2011 2:21 pm UTC

Granted, but her husband is there to greet you with her,

I wish I had a really cool hat.

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xkcd follower
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Sun Oct 02, 2011 7:32 pm UTC

Granted. Your fez is blown apart in a freak accident. Talk to River Song about that.

I wish I could have the blue guy's head in a box in my room. He could be fun to talk to when im bored. check doctor who for what im talking about.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

mathgeek17
Posts: 31
Joined: Sat Jan 08, 2011 2:40 am UTC

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mathgeek17 » Sun Oct 02, 2011 10:31 pm UTC

Granted, but Dorium won't shut up about not having a body and subsequently causes you to go deaf.

I wish I knew what happened in the 2 years that Jack lost.

blademan9999
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Mon Oct 03, 2011 9:29 am UTC

Granted.
What happened was so much of a nightmare that so much of a nightmare that so much of a nightmare that It was so much of a nightmare. ARRRGHHH How can something that nightmarish EXIST!
Fhtagn fhtagn fhtagn fhtagn fhtagn fhtagn fhtagn fhtagn fhtagn fhtagn fhtagn fhtagn fhtagn fhtagn fhtagn fhtagn.
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