Corrupt-a-wish

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bantler
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bantler » Fri Jan 05, 2018 6:17 pm UTC

Granted. Your driveway is lava.

I wish vermin would stay out of my yard (especially you, possum!).

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Fri Jan 05, 2018 7:00 pm UTC

Granted. They stay in your bed.

I wish Oreos were replaced by Hydrox cookies.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ginger » Mon Jan 08, 2018 10:51 am UTC

I like dunno what Hydrox cookies are so my ladylike ignorance prevents your wish from working? Instead you get like the cookies I eat: Badly made chocolate wafer cookies.

I wish for an unlimited supply of girly-girly clothes that doesn't rip or tear when people or things try to tear them off my body.
Amy Lee wrote:Just what we all need... more lies about a world that never was and never will be.


Azula to Long Feng wrote:Don't flatter yourself, you were never even a player.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Mon Jan 08, 2018 2:35 pm UTC

granted. they also don't come off. ever. and they're really an alien symbiote. also, you're now Venom. sorry.

I wish superheros were real.
"We have met the enemy, and we are they. Them? We is it. Whatever."
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Mon Jan 08, 2018 4:14 pm UTC

granted, but so are super villains.

i wish i could fly in my human form.
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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Tue Jan 09, 2018 3:04 am UTC

Granted. However, you can only exist in your fly form, not your human form.

I wish for health and well-being for all my loved ones. (Note - I count myself in that group)

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Tue Jan 09, 2018 6:06 am UTC

Granted, you all gain 20 HP and 20 OP (ontology points, they make you better at being).

I wish I could instantly fall asleep whenever I want to.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Tue Jan 09, 2018 1:55 pm UTC

granted. good luck waking up.

I wish i had a Star Trek replicator, and a power source for it.
"We have met the enemy, and we are they. Them? We is it. Whatever."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Tue Jan 09, 2018 4:21 pm UTC

granted. but it takes so much power that it heats the earth by a degree every time you use it.

i wish i could clear myself of any wrong doing by undoing it.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Tue Jan 09, 2018 4:42 pm UTC

Granted. You just can't undo anything. If you could, you'd clear yourself.

I wish my computer would keep track of where I was in the forum (read/unread, posted/unposted...) without my being logged in, and without informing anyone or anything but me.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Wed Jan 10, 2018 3:44 am UTC

Granted, but thanks to molten specters, people know what you don't do and blame you for pushing the fat man onto the five people on the trolley track, on the day the trolley isn't even running; because of quantum.

I wish my time machine wasn't stuck on midnight.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Wed Jan 10, 2018 5:45 am UTC

granted.you now have a working time machine.

i wish i could help people cope with stress.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Wed Jan 10, 2018 6:22 am UTC

Granted. You are now a stress ball.

I wish I was better at coding.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Wed Jan 10, 2018 3:08 pm UTC

Granted. You're horrible at decoding.

I wish I could "time shift" my own life in such a manner that if I had (for example) two appointments at the same time, I could do one of them, then go back in time and do the other one, then having done both, shift forward to continue my life where I left off, remembering both.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Wed Jan 10, 2018 5:30 pm UTC

granted, though you age at twice the rate of everyone else.

I wish I had an eidetic memory.
"We have met the enemy, and we are they. Them? We is it. Whatever."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
nɒʜƚɒɿ_nɒɿɘ

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Wed Jan 10, 2018 10:36 pm UTC

Granted. It quickly fills with things you can't unsee, but desperately want to.

I wish I knew why the posting page changed style.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Sun Jan 14, 2018 6:28 am UTC

Granted, but then a brick falls on your head and you forget everything you've learned about forum layouts and styles.

I wish for a cup of coffee mixed with hot chocolate, with whipped cream on top and an aroma of cinnamon all over.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Mon Jan 15, 2018 2:24 am UTC

Granted, but it was iced coffee, so the end result is a lukewarm drink that tastes like diabetes.

Man, I wish that things, were like, things, you know?
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Mon Jan 15, 2018 4:18 am UTC

Granted. All things are like things I know. Alas, I don't know very much, and what I do know is mostly wrong. This leads to a bizzare world that doesn't last long before exploding into glorious inconsistency, taking you with it.

I wish I knew my way around SElinux.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Ginger
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ginger » Mon Jan 15, 2018 4:30 am UTC

Granted! Yay Yay. Yet now you can't operate anything else on computers. And by the way: Any answer your newfound knowledge doesn't know is incapable of incorporating the new knowledge of updates or whatever into it. So eventually you won't know your ways around it anymore. Sorry Sorry.

I wish I had a more womanly figure.
Amy Lee wrote:Just what we all need... more lies about a world that never was and never will be.


Azula to Long Feng wrote:Don't flatter yourself, you were never even a player.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Mon Jan 15, 2018 3:36 pm UTC

granted. you get a new Marilyn Monroe mannequin.

I wish i knew what the F I was doing.
"We have met the enemy, and we are they. Them? We is it. Whatever."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Mon Jan 15, 2018 3:42 pm UTC

granted you are typing on a forum.

i wish to have lots of fun every day.
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eran_rathan
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Mon Jan 15, 2018 3:55 pm UTC

granted, fun moves into your house.

I wish I knew ten years ago what I know now.
"We have met the enemy, and we are they. Them? We is it. Whatever."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
nɒʜƚɒɿ_nɒɿɘ

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Mon Jan 15, 2018 4:41 pm UTC

Granted. No corruption. (I scratched your back...)

I wish I knew now what I will know ten years from now.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Mon Jan 15, 2018 7:08 pm UTC

Granted, you know how to quote the next generation's Monty Python.

You don't know enough to make it yourself, but you've got the inane out of context quoting down pat.

I wish I knew how to play a musical instrument (without having to practice to practice) well.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Ginger
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ginger » Wed Jan 17, 2018 7:39 am UTC

You know how to play fluently however only somewhat fluently. Well yet not passable enough to make monies off of it, use it to impress at parties... or anything... except maybe maybe play for your closest friends and families without gettin' told you are just lukewarm at musical instruments.

I wish I was a good singer w/a high soprano voice.
Amy Lee wrote:Just what we all need... more lies about a world that never was and never will be.


Azula to Long Feng wrote:Don't flatter yourself, you were never even a player.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Wed Jan 17, 2018 4:47 pm UTC

granted - you become Ursula from the Little Mermaid. You have Ariel's voice currently. This does not end well for you.

I wish i had the time and money to travel all over the world.
"We have met the enemy, and we are they. Them? We is it. Whatever."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Wed Jan 17, 2018 5:53 pm UTC

Granted. You are however senile and infirm. Have a nice trip.

I wish the snow would stop, it would warm up enough to melt the snow (but not so hot it melts the pavement), and it stays warm so the roads won't ice up, all this in the next hour, for the next three days.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ginger » Thu Jan 18, 2018 9:27 am UTC

The snow stops and everything goes as you describe for three days but, when those three days are over, the Weather Mother gets a bad, bad case of PMS all over the place and her mood swings make the weather cycle rapidly between every available (bad only never good) weather conditions. Forever. You done just messed up the climate thanks you dude!

I wish I could be a supermodel w/an elite group of beautiful friends that care for and validate my skinniness, my bitchiness and my desire to be desired/wanted. And sassy gay and lesbian friends to give hair tips and fashions advices. <3
Amy Lee wrote:Just what we all need... more lies about a world that never was and never will be.


Azula to Long Feng wrote:Don't flatter yourself, you were never even a player.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Fri Jan 19, 2018 11:41 pm UTC

granted.


i wish i had a cool super power.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Sat Jan 20, 2018 2:23 am UTC

Granted, you can cool coffee to 50 degrees.

I wish for a warm reception.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Ginger
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ginger » Sat Jan 20, 2018 2:31 pm UTC

You get a reception with Azula and her Royal Firebenders. They "heat up your reception" until it's so warm you're sweating profusely and getting minor burns. Congratulations on your most warmest reception EVER.

I wish young women could overcome discrimination.
Amy Lee wrote:Just what we all need... more lies about a world that never was and never will be.


Azula to Long Feng wrote:Don't flatter yourself, you were never even a player.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Sun Jan 21, 2018 3:29 am UTC

Granted. When you're eighty, a teenage girl realizes the root of discrimination, and figures out how to fix it. She decides not to.

I wish to sleep well tonight, waking up refreshed tomorrow morning, early enough to do what I need to do.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Ginger
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ginger » Sun Jan 21, 2018 3:39 am UTC

Aw, come on, teen girl in the futures. WHY WHY teen girl? Anyways. You now have sleep problems, chronic insomnia and nightmares... after one nights' rest to wake up refreshed tomorrow. So, so sorry.

I wish for infinite money and a stable living situation.
Amy Lee wrote:Just what we all need... more lies about a world that never was and never will be.


Azula to Long Feng wrote:Don't flatter yourself, you were never even a player.

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SirGabriel
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SirGabriel » Sun Jan 21, 2018 5:13 am UTC

Granted. By spending some of your infinite money, you cause enormous inflation which results in a complete collapse of the economy. Now no one is selling anything, so your infinite money is worthless. Also, an angry mob burns down your mansion, so you have to live in the stable.

I wish a solar year was exactly 365 days long rather than ~365.25.

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Ginger
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ginger » Sun Jan 21, 2018 3:44 pm UTC

The solar year changes but then: Scientists discover it will change indefinitely every year so that a solar years is no longer the same values they were before.

I wish there was world peace, the empires all disbanded and laid down their military arms and pacifists and the meek peoples became the new leaders just like The Bible says~ <3
Amy Lee wrote:Just what we all need... more lies about a world that never was and never will be.


Azula to Long Feng wrote:Don't flatter yourself, you were never even a player.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Sun Jan 21, 2018 5:27 pm UTC

Granted, but all the stuff in Revelation happens first, and it happens literally. Now there are no more armies because they all died violently. Now everyone is dead or meek (most are both).

I wish I knew all of Wikipedia.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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flicky1991
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Sun Jan 21, 2018 6:10 pm UTC

Granted, but you also believe that all of it is true, even if it's unsourced or clearly vandalism.

I wish to see the world.
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faubi
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby faubi » Sun Jan 21, 2018 6:20 pm UTC

Granted. You have eyes and are able to see with them and view the world around you.

I wish I wasn't so tired right now..

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flicky1991
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Sun Jan 21, 2018 6:29 pm UTC

Granted. You're so not tired, you won't be able to sleep tonight.

I wish for the perfect steak.
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