Corrupt-a-wish

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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Sun Dec 25, 2016 9:56 pm UTC

Granted, but you'll have to shovel away the snow that's covering it.

I wish you a happy Christmas and a merry new year.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Mon Dec 26, 2016 4:31 pm UTC

Granted. Its Christmas 2041 and New Years 2108.


I wish this coming year doesn't suck as much as this past one did.
"Trying to build a proper foundation for knowledge is blippery."
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Mon Dec 26, 2016 10:48 pm UTC

Granted. The end of the world arrives in May, so it sucks 5/12 as much.

I wish for a fresh (savory black winter) truffle.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Wed Jan 04, 2017 6:16 pm UTC

Granted. Pigs are wildly and irrevocably attracted to you.

I wish I could stop and speed up time.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Wed Jan 04, 2017 6:43 pm UTC

granted, but only for radioactive elements. You also have little to no control over this ability.

I wish I had perfect recall.
"Trying to build a proper foundation for knowledge is blippery."
"Squirrels are crazy enough to be test pilots."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Sat Jan 14, 2017 6:46 pm UTC

Granted. After phoning someone the first time, you will never mistype his/her phone number. However, you'll always need help dialing the number the first time because you're too clumsy.

I wish all video ads were skippable.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Mon Jan 16, 2017 1:51 pm UTC

granted. all video adverts now skip, forcing you to reload the page and watch the advert again, which skips again, which makes it impossible to actually watch any videos ever.

I wish that my work started at 9 AM instead of 7 AM, and was over by 4:30 PM each day instead of 5:30 PM.
"Trying to build a proper foundation for knowledge is blippery."
"Squirrels are crazy enough to be test pilots."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
straight outta here.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Tue Jan 17, 2017 6:38 pm UTC

Granted, you get paid 13/19th of what you were originally and now you have t deal with much worse 8-9 am traffic.

I wish for a way for people to automagically be able to determine when co-worker's tasks are done without having to interrupt them or making them stop to record their progress
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Thu Jan 19, 2017 5:15 am UTC

Granted. You can deposit an eyeball on his desk. It creeps the hell out of him though, and your empty eyesocket is even less pleasant.

I wish for a power plant powered by burning garbage.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby NathanBros » Thu Jan 19, 2017 8:46 pm UTC

Granted, but you're locked on a Back To The Future movie.

I wish a flying Delorean.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Thu Jan 19, 2017 10:30 pm UTC

Spoiler:
bug sniper wrote:I wish for a power plant powered by burning garbage.


They exist, in many places. They smell awful, and they are filthy.

here's one several miles from my house: http://www.percwte.com/


A flying Delorean appreciates the sentiment, but having no vocal chords, vocoder, synthesizer capable of human-like speech, or volition, it doesn't have much use for your wish.

I wish for more syntactic ambiguity in English.
"Trying to build a proper foundation for knowledge is blippery."
"Squirrels are crazy enough to be test pilots."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Mon Jan 23, 2017 9:46 pm UTC

Is grant, but bodies: no can understand (any and more).

Wishes: English fix, I have.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Snide Sniper » Tue Jan 24, 2017 1:56 pm UTC

Granted. You now know the word "fix" and nothing else.

I wish for a bigger boat.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Tue Jan 24, 2017 9:39 pm UTC

Granted. You also get a bigger shark.

I wish this ch*rpin' wifi didn't keep logging me out of xkcd.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Snide Sniper » Wed Jan 25, 2017 9:50 pm UTC

Granted. Now it's your ISP that keeps logging you out of xkcd.
(forum game aside, it's not your wifi, that I can assure you)

I wish for a device that generates fanfics.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Thu Jan 26, 2017 3:06 am UTC

Granted. You have 1000 monkeys, and 999 typewriters. It takes a while to generate a fanfic, but eventually one will come out.

[spoiler]
The Snide Sniper wrote:(forum game aside, it's not your wifi, that I can assure you)
You are right, it's something else. Somewhere between my computer and this ch*rpin' hotel's ISP and the phpbb that drives this forum, my credentials are being altered, and I am being logged off. It might be as simple as the wifi changing addresses on the fly, and phpbb checking that address as part of its credientialing. But I can't troubleshoot it because it's not my phpbb or my ISP or my wifi, and nobody (except me) seems to care.

I wish people cared more (but not too much).

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Thu Jan 26, 2017 1:02 pm UTC

they do - but not about you or your problems.

I wish I could actually get some restful sleep and not dream about being at work.
"Trying to build a proper foundation for knowledge is blippery."
"Squirrels are crazy enough to be test pilots."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
straight outta here.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Thu Jan 26, 2017 4:43 pm UTC

Granted, you're unemployed: plenty of time to sleep!

I wish to know what the extra monkey from Ucim's corruption was for.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Pied typer » Thu Jan 26, 2017 4:50 pm UTC

Granted. It's horrifying and scars you for life.

I wish there were a way to take my ideas beyond 140.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Fri Jan 27, 2017 6:59 am UTC

Granted, but the game you'd use those skills on is exclusive to exactly the VR headset you didn't buy. If you bought them both, you now have to pay an monthly subscription fee to play online, although it gives numerous older non-VR games that nobody plays anymore. You lose all the games if you stop paying. And your expensive headsets get bricked if you or your little brother tamper with them, repair them, upgrade your graphics card, cheat, or try to refund No Man's Sky.

I wish move theaters were replaced with theaters with live actors.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Fri Jan 27, 2017 3:55 pm UTC

Granted. Movie theaters however are replaced by theaters with dead actors. And "legitimate" theaters (live plays and such) are replaced by theaters with undead actors. And nobody can tell the difference.

I wish for a mild winter.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Fri Jan 27, 2017 7:40 pm UTC

Granted, We're having a nice mild winter here in Florida.

I wish the next wish comes with a personal story.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Mon Jan 30, 2017 12:24 am UTC

granted its about Abraham Lincoln.

i wish for 2x more fish in the ocean.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Tue Jan 31, 2017 7:35 pm UTC

Granted, but you must select a girlfriend from among this larger set.

I wish mer-people were real and compatible with humans emotionally, intellectually and *cough* errm... in other ways.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby protostar777 » Wed Feb 01, 2017 6:15 pm UTC

Granted. Mer-people are now compatible with internet and 120V AC human-owned electrical outlets.

I wish to be invisible whenever I please.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Snide Sniper » Wed Feb 01, 2017 7:31 pm UTC

Granted. You disappear whenever you entertain someone. That was what you meant, right?

I wish for the ability to alter coefficients of friction at will during sporting events.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Thu Feb 02, 2017 10:22 pm UTC

granted but only by such a minuscule amount as to make no discernible difference.

i wish for abundant joy.
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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Mon Feb 06, 2017 6:17 am UTC

Granted.
Spoiler:
Image
She is now everywhere because people keep getting broken bones.

I wish I knew what a hallucination was like.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Tue Feb 07, 2017 6:35 pm UTC

Granted, you see nurse Joy everywhere.

I wish for an ice cream sandwich.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Wed Feb 08, 2017 5:42 pm UTC

granted. You'll get it eventually. Via Fed-Ex. in an un-refrigerated cardboard box. And its one of those mini vegan ones.

I wish for a good beer, in a cup, on my desk, in about an hour.
"Trying to build a proper foundation for knowledge is blippery."
"Squirrels are crazy enough to be test pilots."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Snide Sniper » Wed Feb 08, 2017 7:20 pm UTC

Granted. The cup has a large crack in it through which the beer escapes.

I wish for a full cup of pure water, in a sturdy, lightweight, and watertight glass (with an opening at the top) which is safe to handle, at rest relative to the Earth's surface in a place which I can easily access for at least the next 24 hours.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Wed Feb 08, 2017 8:10 pm UTC

granted. It is pure water for a few moments, until the hydrogen and oxygen disassociate before fusing. Did I forget to mention its at 30,000 K?

I wish the power was still out at work.
"Trying to build a proper foundation for knowledge is blippery."
"Squirrels are crazy enough to be test pilots."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
straight outta here.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Wed Feb 08, 2017 9:13 pm UTC

granted but you get fired as they believe you to be the cause.

i wish i spent my 100 bitcoins in a much smarter fashion.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Thu Feb 09, 2017 1:55 pm UTC

Granted, you wore a tie while wasting your bitcoins.

I wish I had one corruption-free wish.
Image

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SirGabriel » Thu Feb 09, 2017 2:20 pm UTC

Granted.

I wish to make it clear to marionic, in case it wasn't already, that he used up the corruption-free wish he wished for by wishing for a corruption-free wish, since his wish for a corruption-free wish wasn't corrupted and therefore counts as the corruption-free wish he wished for.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Thu Feb 09, 2017 5:34 pm UTC

Granted, you get the default wish, which (tdoay) is to see a blue duck.

I wish I knew whether to shoot it or eat it.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Thu Feb 09, 2017 6:38 pm UTC

SirGabriel wrote:Granted.

I wish to make it clear to marionic, in case it wasn't already, that he used up the corruption-free wish he wished for by wishing for a corruption-free wish, since his wish for a corruption-free wish wasn't corrupted and therefore counts as the corruption-free wish he wished for.

But... I wanted my corruption-free wish to be a different wish... therefore it was corrupted... which means I still have my corruption-free wish! ...But... that means it wasn't corrupted... so the wish is used up so... *ERROR*

Quizatzhaderac wrote:I wish I knew whether to shoot it or eat it.


Granted. Since the answer was neither, your wish was faulty since it assumed "shoot it" or "eat it" was the answer and you also get an error.

I wish to debug my error and Quizatzhaderac's error.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sat Feb 11, 2017 3:35 am UTC

granted, but now you internet is buggy.

i wish for no more wishes on this board ever, for anyone. that way there won't be any bad outcomes.
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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Sat Feb 11, 2017 8:55 am UTC

Granted. A wall will be build around the floorboard you're standing on, preventing perspective wishers from stepping on any loose nails or getting splinters.

I wish for more rainstorms and more brainstorms.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Tue Feb 14, 2017 3:42 pm UTC

Granted,but you get them both in the same sense.
i.e. You have conventional brainstorms but your thoughts are cloudy and watery.
or: You have conventional rainstorms but you also have jigawatts of lighting discharging in your brain.

I wish to be oblivious to other people celebrating a certain holiday today.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.


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