Corrupt-a-wish

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Freddino18
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Freddino18 » Tue Mar 07, 2017 9:34 pm UTC

Granted, nets no longer experience universal entropy.

I wish Kabuto wasn't so creepy.
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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Sun Mar 12, 2017 7:57 am UTC

Granted. Now you have to deal with being Orochimaru's personal test subject as he sees which body modifications torture too much for his own comfort.

I wish Doctor Who would stay on Netflix.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Tue Mar 14, 2017 7:30 pm UTC

Granted, specifically the first doctor.

I wish for an episode focusing on when the Doctor earned his doctorate of cheese.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Freddino18
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Freddino18 » Tue Mar 14, 2017 8:05 pm UTC

Congratulations, the episode gets the series cancelled.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Tue Mar 14, 2017 8:11 pm UTC

granted, its contents explode all over you.

i wish i my wallet always had enough money for whatever i wanted to buy.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Wed Mar 15, 2017 2:46 am UTC

Granted. You cannot remove the money however, and neither can anybody else.

I wish all the snow in my driveway was gently removed over the course of the next half hour, and gently deposited where it does no harm (such as my backyard), without any more snow arriving.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Wed Mar 15, 2017 2:23 pm UTC

Granted, for the next half hour snowflakes that land on your driveway are gently lifted and placed in your backyard.

After the half hour is over, they are removed in a way the takes a few pounds of your driveway with each snowflake.

Previously I wished I were a rich man, now I will expound on that wish:
Fa la la la la la la!
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Freddino18 » Wed Mar 15, 2017 8:37 pm UTC

Granted. You get a lead role in The Sound of Music.

I wish Orochimaru wasn't a sadistic bastard, and wasn't a necrophiliac, and didn't like to rape human men and human boys and teenage males of all kinds and females of all kinds.
Cautiously pessimistic.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Fri Mar 17, 2017 7:02 pm UTC

Granted, he doesn't like it, but he rapes all those people out of habit. His orientation is now focused on living, sapient, non-humans under the age of thirteen. He's not sadistic anymore, but he's still indifferent to the suffering of others.

I wish the later episodes of Naruto were more "no, I'm behind you!", and less "I've reached a new power level!".
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sat Mar 18, 2017 12:02 am UTC

granted but they still suck in different ways.

i wish i was debt free.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Meowers » Sat Mar 18, 2017 2:27 am UTC

Granted. You are also asset free. Say, that's not your computer...

I wish all those robots didn't rip the universe open.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Sat Mar 18, 2017 3:47 am UTC

Granted. These robots do.

I wish it wouldn't rain, snow, hail, or sleet tomorrow (within fifty miles of where I am).

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Meowers » Sat Mar 18, 2017 7:19 pm UTC

Granted. No water exists within a 50-mile radius of you.

I wish someone would get the reference in my last post.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sun Mar 19, 2017 1:15 am UTC

granted, i get it but still don't laugh, or even smile.

i wish more students took the class on the thirteenth floor of the wayside school.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Snide Sniper » Mon Mar 20, 2017 11:55 am UTC

Granted. There is now one additional student that takes it.

I wish for veto power over clocks.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Mon Mar 20, 2017 6:29 pm UTC

granted, but it doesn't change the flow of time only stops the clock from running.

i wish i was a badass super hero.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Mon Mar 20, 2017 6:32 pm UTC

Granted. You exist only in comic books. You're also not as powerful as the badass supervillain you are teamed up against.

I wish for a new car.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Snide Sniper » Mon Mar 20, 2017 6:37 pm UTC

Granted. You get a new car, which just so happens to be made entirely out of cheese and so naturally doesn't work.

I wish for a funny corruption.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Mon Mar 20, 2017 8:00 pm UTC

Granted
The Snide Sniper wrote:I wish for veto power over clocks.
Granted, but you can only substitute the indicated time with Hammertime.

I wish I could find the xml I was looking for.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Thu Mar 23, 2017 2:33 am UTC

granted, you find it, but its been corrupted beyond usability.

i wish they would remake civ 4 with better graphics, and more technologies.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Thu Mar 23, 2017 3:44 pm UTC

Granted. You can't afford any of them.

I wish my screen were the same size but twice the resolution and color depth.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Thu Mar 23, 2017 6:18 pm UTC

Granted: Horizontal resolution is now doubled but not the vertical.
The color has 1 bit of depth for Y, 1 bit for Cr and many bits for Cb

I wish for a steakfruit tree.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Fri Mar 24, 2017 6:34 am UTC

Granted. You get a tree with poisoned needle leaves. In the summer, animals touching the leaves are killed and disected by the plants digestive juices. These carcasses also have the tree's seeds embedded in them. They are then hung near the ground, where symbiotic carnivores have easy access to the carcasses (now chemically converted into steaks somehow). On your streakfruit tree, you notice many squirrel streaks, a few dead birds, and one human streak from what looks like the mailman.

I wish for mod madness to start again.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sun Mar 26, 2017 1:45 am UTC

granted, it starts next year.

i wish i could undress sexy women with my eyes without them knowing it was me.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Snide Sniper » Sun Mar 26, 2017 2:02 am UTC

Granted. Have you ever pressed your eyes (while open) against a sheet of fabric? It really hurts.

I wish for a reply to this thread.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Sun Mar 26, 2017 3:58 am UTC

Not granted.
Oops.

I wish for the ability to click on links on the internet and be protected from all malware and all spying that those links would otherwise do (without blocking legitimate information that I would want those websites to have). (It's ok if this breaks Microsoft Windows)

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Mon Mar 27, 2017 5:37 am UTC

Granted. You can now safely click on sausage links on the web, like this one:
Spoiler:
Image
. Clicking on hyperlinks can still install malware and spyware though.

I wish for a trilobrite.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby thunk » Mon Mar 27, 2017 10:16 am UTC

Granted. You get a mold-o-rama trilobite made in bright plastic. Still, it's a good novelty for two dollars.

I wish for a chicken or two.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Schrödinger's Wolves » Tue Mar 28, 2017 6:11 pm UTC

Granted, but the chicken is diseased and inside out.
I wish for a halting oracle.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Tue Mar 28, 2017 7:37 pm UTC

Granted. You have an oracle. It halts.

I wish for a new car.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Tue Mar 28, 2017 8:17 pm UTC

granted, its a new Tesla Oracle. It halts (and doesn't start again).

I wish that my so-called 'health insurance' actually paid for most of my healthcare bills.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Freddino18 » Wed Mar 29, 2017 7:36 pm UTC

Unfortunately, that wish cannot be granted, it is against the Laws. Capitalized and plural. They supersede the laws of the universe, omniverse, and the moped. It is a bit like wishing for more wishes, but the punishment is more severe.

I wish there was no punishment for granting the previous wish.
Cautiously pessimistic.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Wed Mar 29, 2017 10:18 pm UTC

Granted, but you are punished for wishing to interfere with The Laws, which is worse.

I wish for a burrito.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Wed Mar 29, 2017 10:19 pm UTC

Granted. It's a shit burrito. Literally.

I wish for a boyfriend.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Fri Mar 31, 2017 6:11 am UTC

Granted, and you're now a girl so no gayness happens. If that's not a corruption, then just add a power struggle.

I with for a living trilobrite.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Fri Mar 31, 2017 5:48 pm UTC

Granted, you get a living, three-headed lamp. Did you mean "Trilobite", without the r?

I wish for a three headed parrot.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Fri Mar 31, 2017 5:57 pm UTC

Granted. You get me as a parrot, even more annoying than usual thanks to having three heads.

I wish to be a king.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby heuristically_alone » Fri Mar 31, 2017 7:43 pm UTC

Granted. Your son kills you for your throne.

I wish I were wrapped in tape like a mummy.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Sat Apr 01, 2017 12:52 pm UTC

Granted. It's duct tape. You smell smoke.

I wish for a USB3 external CD/DVD ROM burner.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Freddino18 » Tue Apr 04, 2017 1:24 pm UTC

Congratulations, your Charizard brings all the nerds to the yard. I think that if you defeat them all, one of them will probably have it.

I wish for a lightweight keyboard.
Cautiously pessimistic.
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Tillian wrote:Holy necro!
morriswalters wrote:Low pressure on the balls
Jumble wrote:No, I have testicles, the traditional alternative.
i aint a robot
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