Corrupt-a-wish

For all your silly time-killing forum games.

Moderators: jestingrabbit, Moderators General, Prelates

RedBandit
Posts: 13
Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 3:37 pm UTC

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby RedBandit » Sun Nov 22, 2009 2:45 am UTC

Granted!

If you own a car, your two driver's side tires are slashed the next time you park, but two donuts are dropped off in front of your car, with your car already jacked up and a tire wrench is sitting in front of the jack.

If you don't, the next time you walk to the bus or train, two donuts (of the spare tire variety) are thrown at you. They weigh about 20-30 pounds (9-13.6 kg) each.

I wish for a roll of paper towels.
If you like my writing, you might like my music!
Check out my Nine Inch Nails Remixes
Image

User avatar
Nith Azra
Posts: 117
Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 6:14 pm UTC
Location: B-Town/Bendighetto
Contact:

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Nith Azra » Thu Nov 26, 2009 10:33 am UTC

Granted, but the towel is too tough for you to break, and you can't find the end anyway.

I wish I had a double bass.
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:I wrote "moistly"... wierd.


::.._____..::ROYAL RAINBOW!!!::.._____..::

User avatar
Hale
Posts: 40
Joined: Tue Aug 04, 2009 7:34 pm UTC
Location: Las Cruces, NM, USoA; NA, Terra; Sol, Outer edge Western Spiral Arm, Milky Way.

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Hale » Thu Nov 26, 2009 2:51 pm UTC

Granted, it falls on your head. The starting position was 50 meters up.

Spoiler:
Alternatively:
Granted, you have a Image strapped to each foot in a way that makes them irremovable without either cutting off your feet or letting them rot off.


I wish for waffles.
I make no claims to sanity, spelling, grammar, or really any content worth reading in my post. I also edit them.

User avatar
Impulse97
Posts: 225
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:53 am UTC
Location: Near Chicago in the U.S.
Contact:

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Impulse97 » Thu Nov 26, 2009 4:53 pm UTC

Granted, they're Boison Berry waffles which means they're Boisonous and you die a horrible Cyanide and Happiness style death.

I wish for my cousin to lose 110 lbs So he'll be trim.
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:Dude, everyone likes girls. Have you seen girls? Girls are hot!

The preceding sentence was made with good faith and good humor...


Image

User avatar
Cytoplasm
Posts: 1310
Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2007 1:00 am UTC
Location: EE.UU.(+ Cheese)

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Cytoplasm » Thu Nov 26, 2009 5:17 pm UTC

Congradulations, he has tapeworms.

I wish I had an endless supply if chocolate.
¡No tengo miedo a fantasmas!

Spoiler:
Cytoplasm: I have catoragized some of my family into lolcats.
Felstaff: For a drudging Thursday afternoon, that level of cuteness has really made my day. Can... Can I keep you?

Felstaff wrote:
Cytoplasm wrote:shannonigans

<3

User avatar
Impulse97
Posts: 225
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:53 am UTC
Location: Near Chicago in the U.S.
Contact:

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Impulse97 » Fri Nov 27, 2009 12:06 am UTC

Granted, you are chocolate! Therefore, you eat yourself into oblivion.

I wish I had more Pumpkin Pie but not to be one.
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:Dude, everyone likes girls. Have you seen girls? Girls are hot!

The preceding sentence was made with good faith and good humor...


Image

.cheeseofdoom.
Posts: 44
Joined: Sun Jun 14, 2009 4:09 am UTC

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby .cheeseofdoom. » Fri Nov 27, 2009 1:22 am UTC

Granted, you now have a pumpkin pie, but if you eat any of it, you'll die.

User avatar
Impulse97
Posts: 225
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:53 am UTC
Location: Near Chicago in the U.S.
Contact:

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Impulse97 » Fri Nov 27, 2009 3:03 am UTC

Granted, Your lack of a wish means you cease to exist.

I wish for the USS Firebolt and unlimited HEI-T and APDS-T 25mm ammo.
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:Dude, everyone likes girls. Have you seen girls? Girls are hot!

The preceding sentence was made with good faith and good humor...


Image

User avatar
Nith Azra
Posts: 117
Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 6:14 pm UTC
Location: B-Town/Bendighetto
Contact:

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Nith Azra » Fri Nov 27, 2009 3:30 am UTC

Granted; it now is.
But you will never possess it, and will always be tortured by this fact.

I wish you wouldn't corrupt my wishes in boring ways....
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:I wrote "moistly"... wierd.


::.._____..::ROYAL RAINBOW!!!::.._____..::

Random832
Posts: 2525
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 4:38 pm UTC

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Random832 » Fri Nov 27, 2009 3:32 am UTC

Not granted. All your future wishes will be corrupted as "granted, but suddenly a drill appears and bores a hole through you"

I wish puns were considered funny

.cheeseofdoom.
Posts: 44
Joined: Sun Jun 14, 2009 4:09 am UTC

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby .cheeseofdoom. » Fri Nov 27, 2009 5:20 am UTC

Granted, nobody is allowed to make puns anymore though. (and a meteor hits you if you do, made of donuts on fire)

I wish that my iPod worked.

User avatar
Vohu Manah
athlete's nipple.
Posts: 316
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2009 5:00 am UTC
Location: Western Hemisphere. Possibly Idaho.

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Vohu Manah » Fri Nov 27, 2009 6:01 am UTC

Granted, but your iPod becomes an iPod touch with the Rickroll virus on it.

I wish for a Zune HD.
Isaac Hill wrote:If this tetonic plate's rockin' such that it registers no less than 6.1 on the Richter scale, don't come a knockin'.

.cheeseofdoom.
Posts: 44
Joined: Sun Jun 14, 2009 4:09 am UTC

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby .cheeseofdoom. » Fri Nov 27, 2009 6:16 am UTC

Granted, but I stole it from you.

I wish my rubik's cube was solved.

Random832
Posts: 2525
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 4:38 pm UTC

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Random832 » Fri Nov 27, 2009 7:54 am UTC

Granted. It is solved in such a way as to get at least one and no more than two of every color onto each face.

.cheeseofdoom. wrote:Granted, nobody is allowed to make puns anymore though. (and a meteor hits you if you do, made of donuts on fire)


I wish I knew if you meant the spare tire, the pastry, or the burnout.

User avatar
e^iπ+1=0
Much, much better than Gooder
Posts: 2065
Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2009 9:41 am UTC
Location: Lancaster

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby e^iπ+1=0 » Fri Nov 27, 2009 7:55 am UTC

Granted.

I wish for a zillion dollars!


Ninja'd...

Granted, but it doesn't really matter.

I wish I hadn't just been ninja'd.
poxic wrote:You, sir, have heroic hair.
poxic wrote:I note that the hair is not slowing down. It appears to have progressed from heroic to rocking.

(Avatar by Sungura)

.cheeseofdoom.
Posts: 44
Joined: Sun Jun 14, 2009 4:09 am UTC

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby .cheeseofdoom. » Sat Nov 28, 2009 4:47 am UTC

Granted, you just got pirated.

I wish that I had a dr. pepper, and some gummy worms.

User avatar
Impulse97
Posts: 225
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:53 am UTC
Location: Near Chicago in the U.S.
Contact:

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Impulse97 » Sat Nov 28, 2009 5:01 am UTC

Granted, you get a knock on your door by Dr. pepper and his band who give you a gummy feeling worm farm.

I wish I wasn't so sad.
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:Dude, everyone likes girls. Have you seen girls? Girls are hot!

The preceding sentence was made with good faith and good humor...


Image

User avatar
Under A Pale Grey Sky
Posts: 78
Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:15 pm UTC

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Under A Pale Grey Sky » Sat Nov 28, 2009 1:58 pm UTC

Granted. Your sadness grows DEEPER.

I wish that the Twilight franchise and its legions of Twitards would just GO AWAY!
Firelight holds their peace
Sing farewell by smoke in the cold
We farewell the old
As they fall to silence

User avatar
Loke
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Nov 28, 2009 2:41 pm UTC
Location: In translational motion.
Contact:

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Loke » Sat Nov 28, 2009 3:38 pm UTC

Granted. They all go away, dig their way inside earth and reamain hid to human eyes for several decades. When they come out, their powerful allies, the molemen, aid them to conquer the earth, and all good literature is sent to the underground caverns of molemen for the paper its made of to serve as a thermic isolator for their molechildren. Pedobearism is no longer a social taboo and instead it is praised. Ninety year olds now hang around with seventeen years olds with impunity. That old guy in Family Guy marries Chris. And you, disgusted by this amoral values now widely spread decide to immolate yourself killing Stephanie Meyers with you, who is now also the mole queen, a gigantic mole breeding alien-like being.

The explosion whips the headquarters of the twilight fans and molemen and the world gets back to normal, despite the claims of sightings of the mole-queen.

Okay, I think I got carried away... And don't worry, all the good books are restored from informatic databases.

I wish I was a galapagos turtle so I could live longer than a human can.
Image

User avatar
Impulse97
Posts: 225
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:53 am UTC
Location: Near Chicago in the U.S.
Contact:

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Impulse97 » Sat Nov 28, 2009 4:24 pm UTC

Granted, but now you forget your previous life as a human.

I wish I had an uncorrectable wish.
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:Dude, everyone likes girls. Have you seen girls? Girls are hot!

The preceding sentence was made with good faith and good humor...


Image

Random832
Posts: 2525
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 4:38 pm UTC

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Random832 » Sat Nov 28, 2009 4:30 pm UTC

Granted, but you said "uncorrectable" when you meant to say "uncorruptable".

I wi!@#!@#__NO CARRIER

User avatar
Roĝer
Posts: 445
Joined: Sun Oct 05, 2008 9:36 pm UTC
Location: Many worlds, but mostly Copenhagen.
Contact:

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Roĝer » Sat Nov 28, 2009 6:55 pm UTC

Granted, you do not get the aircraft carrier that I had just bought for you. Instead, I will use it myself to attack your location and bomb your favourite hangout place.

I wish to have a uranium mine in my backyard which only I know about (oh dear, the horrible ways in which this one can backfire...).
Ik ben niet koppig, ik heb gewoon gelijk.

User avatar
eaglef2
Posts: 93
Joined: Mon Feb 09, 2009 4:52 am UTC
Location: I am over there

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eaglef2 » Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:19 am UTC

Arachnid Tiger wrote:Wish granted, but the wish wants you dead.

I wish that eaglef2 was dead.

No offense...

RedBandit wrote:Denied! eaglef2 is now immortal! Now faster, stronger, smarter, and just generally better than everyone else, eaglef2 devotes the next 10 years to hunting down Arachnid Tiger. After destroying eaglef2's enemy, eaglef2 devotes the remainder of eternity to perfecting wish corruptions for xkcd's Corrupt-a-wish thread, which lives forever.

BUWHAHAHAHAHA
Roĝer wrote:Granted, you do not get the aircraft carrier that I had just bought for you. Instead, I will use it myself to attack your location and bomb your favourite hangout place.

I wish to have a uranium mine in my backyard which only I know about (oh dear, the horrible ways in which this one can backfire...).

no, I hate people and I'm immortal until whoever grants my wish undoes it.

I wish I wasn't immortal
"I am a four hundred-foot tall purple Platypus Bear with pink horns and silver wings."
-Azula, Avatar: The Last Airbender.

.cheeseofdoom.
Posts: 44
Joined: Sun Jun 14, 2009 4:09 am UTC

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby .cheeseofdoom. » Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:41 am UTC

Granted, you have 24 hours to live. Enjoy them.

I wish that I had some delicious rocky road ice cream.

User avatar
Cytoplasm
Posts: 1310
Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2007 1:00 am UTC
Location: EE.UU.(+ Cheese)

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Cytoplasm » Sun Nov 29, 2009 1:37 am UTC

Granted, your best friend is now ice cream and will melt if you don't eat your friend.

I wish I could have five restful nights of sleep.
¡No tengo miedo a fantasmas!

Spoiler:
Cytoplasm: I have catoragized some of my family into lolcats.
Felstaff: For a drudging Thursday afternoon, that level of cuteness has really made my day. Can... Can I keep you?

Felstaff wrote:
Cytoplasm wrote:shannonigans

<3

User avatar
TheOtherDOOMGuy
Posts: 104
Joined: Tue Mar 10, 2009 9:33 pm UTC

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby TheOtherDOOMGuy » Sun Nov 29, 2009 2:48 am UTC

Granted.
The first night is tonight. The next night is this night next year, and this continues exponentially until you get five nights good sleep.

I wish I could create a successful novel, and become rich from it.
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabris, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.

And on my car:
Sic hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus et nimis propinquus ades

User avatar
Jengajam2
Posts: 26
Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2008 2:55 am UTC

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Jengajam2 » Sun Nov 29, 2009 3:03 am UTC

Granted, you become rich and successful due to its radical ideas, which spark a revolutionary movement in your country, and after several years of conflict, you are executed for being an enemy of the state.

I wish I had a doorknob.
Image

gvstop
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Nov 29, 2009 1:57 am UTC

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby gvstop » Sun Nov 29, 2009 3:43 am UTC

Granted. It is locked.

I wish I had a pogo-stick.

User avatar
Impulse97
Posts: 225
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:53 am UTC
Location: Near Chicago in the U.S.
Contact:

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Impulse97 » Sun Nov 29, 2009 3:51 am UTC

Granted, you receive a doorknob and search far and wide for the door to which it belongs. You search until you are a frail old man, when you finally find the door and enter it sucks you into an endless oblivion.

I wish my RDC at RTC Great Lakes, IL will be alot nicer than most.
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:Dude, everyone likes girls. Have you seen girls? Girls are hot!

The preceding sentence was made with good faith and good humor...


Image

thefrenchhornguy
Posts: 4
Joined: Sun Nov 29, 2009 1:19 am UTC

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby thefrenchhornguy » Mon Nov 30, 2009 1:23 am UTC

Granted. Yours is of the same quality, everyone else's is a lot crappier.

I wish that starting right now and continuing for all eternity that I was the best french horn player in the universe, but that everyone's skill level would remain the same while mine rose above theirs (not that everyone else gets crappier while I stay the same).

User avatar
Impulse97
Posts: 225
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:53 am UTC
Location: Near Chicago in the U.S.
Contact:

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Impulse97 » Mon Nov 30, 2009 2:36 am UTC

Granted, but you die after 3 days or 72 hours.

I wish I had more self confidence.
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:Dude, everyone likes girls. Have you seen girls? Girls are hot!

The preceding sentence was made with good faith and good humor...


Image

User avatar
Vohu Manah
athlete's nipple.
Posts: 316
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2009 5:00 am UTC
Location: Western Hemisphere. Possibly Idaho.

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Vohu Manah » Mon Nov 30, 2009 4:08 am UTC

Granted. You become so self confident that you jump off a bridge because you, of course, will survive due to your awesomeness. But you won't.

I wish for a glass of iced tea.
Isaac Hill wrote:If this tetonic plate's rockin' such that it registers no less than 6.1 on the Richter scale, don't come a knockin'.

User avatar
Max2009
Posts: 160
Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2009 2:20 pm UTC
Location: Where?
Contact:

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Max2009 » Mon Nov 30, 2009 12:52 pm UTC

Granted, but it spilled in your lap and froze your "hardware".

I wish for coffee.
Cogito ergo surf - I think therefore I network

Registered Linux user #481826 Get Counted! http://counter.li.org

Image

User avatar
Roĝer
Posts: 445
Joined: Sun Oct 05, 2008 9:36 pm UTC
Location: Many worlds, but mostly Copenhagen.
Contact:

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Roĝer » Mon Nov 30, 2009 10:10 pm UTC

Granted, but you die before you can drink it.

I wish for a uranium mine in my backyard.
Ik ben niet koppig, ik heb gewoon gelijk.

thefrenchhornguy
Posts: 4
Joined: Sun Nov 29, 2009 1:19 am UTC

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby thefrenchhornguy » Mon Nov 30, 2009 10:12 pm UTC

Granted, you die from radiation poisoning from the unprocessed uranium.

I wish that I will live forever on this planet.

Random832
Posts: 2525
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 4:38 pm UTC

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Random832 » Mon Nov 30, 2009 10:16 pm UTC

Granted, but "this planet" is the planet you were pointing at (i.e. a line straight out from your right index finger until it hits the exact center of a planet) when you made the wish, which is a frozen gas giant a gabjillion light years away.

I wish I could think of a better wish.

thefrenchhornguy
Posts: 4
Joined: Sun Nov 29, 2009 1:19 am UTC

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby thefrenchhornguy » Tue Dec 01, 2009 2:48 am UTC

Granted. You think of it, but forget it before you can make it.

I wish the next poster would put an emoticon in their post.

User avatar
boring bore
Posts: 270
Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2009 5:23 am UTC
Location: Don't stalk me, it's not worth it

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby boring bore » Tue Dec 01, 2009 3:42 am UTC

Granted, but it's broken for some forum-malfunction reason :(

I wish the fora were fixed so that I could properly see everyone's avatars and emoticons.
Image
Guys you should totally register for this and join the xkcd team! Rath358 started us off and we're kinda small so the more people who join us, the better for our team and, hopefully, for humanity!

.cheeseofdoom.
Posts: 44
Joined: Sun Jun 14, 2009 4:09 am UTC

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby .cheeseofdoom. » Tue Dec 01, 2009 4:32 am UTC

Granted, only some of the emoticons work. :twisted:

I wish that all my amazon packages would arrive on December 3rd, 2009.

User avatar
Vohu Manah
athlete's nipple.
Posts: 316
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2009 5:00 am UTC
Location: Western Hemisphere. Possibly Idaho.

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Vohu Manah » Tue Dec 01, 2009 5:34 am UTC

Granted. All of the rare spiders ordered from the Amazon by your friend will arrive on December 3rd

I wish that every nation in the world puts a picture of me on their flag.
Isaac Hill wrote:If this tetonic plate's rockin' such that it registers no less than 6.1 on the Richter scale, don't come a knockin'.


Return to “Forum Games”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 42 guests