Corrupt-a-wish

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Skraxt
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Skraxt » Tue Dec 01, 2009 8:14 am UTC

Granted, you are now a rectangle.

I wish my wish was the next person's wish.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Impulse97 » Tue Dec 01, 2009 12:32 pm UTC

Um...granted I think...

I wish I was a well cared for, healthy, 3yr old house cat,
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Max2009
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Max2009 » Tue Dec 01, 2009 1:05 pm UTC

Granted. Good luck keeping away from the 4 german shepherds, python and toddler who also live in that house.

I wish I had a car.
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.cheeseofdoom.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby .cheeseofdoom. » Tue Dec 01, 2009 2:04 pm UTC

Granted, you now have a nice ass-car.

I wish I had a time traveling machine.

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Roĝer
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Roĝer » Tue Dec 01, 2009 3:38 pm UTC

Granted, but it backfires and kills this forum game.

I wish that the next poster copies this post exactly (including this wish).
Ik ben niet koppig, ik heb gewoon gelijk.

Random832
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Random832 » Tue Dec 01, 2009 6:34 pm UTC

Granted, but it backfires and kills this forum game.

I wish that the next poster copies this post exactly (including this wish).

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Roĝer
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Roĝer » Tue Dec 01, 2009 6:47 pm UTC

Granted, but it backfires and kills this forum game.

I wish that the next poster copies this post exactly (including this wish).
Ik ben niet koppig, ik heb gewoon gelijk.

Random832
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Random832 » Tue Dec 01, 2009 7:06 pm UTC

Granted, but I'm not gonna paste it here.

I wish for a better meta-wish.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Vohu Manah » Wed Dec 02, 2009 5:05 am UTC

Granted, but someone else sues you for stealing his catchphrase. You end up in a landmark court battle, thus costing you millions in legal fees. All for not being creative.

I wish for a better meta-fish.
Isaac Hill wrote:If this tetonic plate's rockin' such that it registers no less than 6.1 on the Richter scale, don't come a knockin'.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby TheOtherDOOMGuy » Thu Dec 03, 2009 12:55 am UTC

Granted, it can only survive by breathing sulphur, so you move to a volcano with your meta-fish. You later die from being poisoned by volcanic gases.

I wish I could transform into a dragon at will, any time I wanted to.
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabris, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.

And on my car:
Sic hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus et nimis propinquus ades

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Roĝer » Thu Dec 03, 2009 1:26 am UTC

Granted, but you can never change back and dragon hunting becomes the national sport wherever you live.

I wish to have two more hours in a day than everyone else.
Ik ben niet koppig, ik heb gewoon gelijk.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby kaimason1 » Thu Dec 03, 2009 3:13 am UTC

Granted, but two now equals negative twenty four so you die immediately.

I wish everyone in the world was smart, rather than stupid.
Last edited by kaimason1 on Thu Dec 03, 2009 4:43 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby boring bore » Thu Dec 03, 2009 4:41 am UTC

Granted, but you didn't make a wish so nothing happens.
edit: And granted, but that means everyone is now smart enough to see that you have edited your message because of your carelessness and they are ridiculing you behind their screens (actually, I've probably made the mistake more than you have).
I wish that math and computer science didn't make my head asplode.
Last edited by boring bore on Thu Dec 03, 2009 5:32 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby kaimason1 » Thu Dec 03, 2009 4:45 am UTC

Granted, but the sudden presence of a wish does.

I wish that my orchestra teacher didn't hate me and I had an A in that class.
SexyTalon wrote:If it walks like a person, talks like a person, and tastes like a person, it's probably a person. Or I Can't Believe It's Not People, which cannibals prefer to Soylent Green nearly 5 to 1 in a blind taste test.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Vohu Manah » Thu Dec 03, 2009 5:31 am UTC

Granted. You suddenly have the ability to play an amazing piccolo solo, thus impressing the band teacher immensely. However, several students flog you with your own organs because you made them look bad. That, and you ruptured their eardrums.

I wish for a kick-ass drum set.
Isaac Hill wrote:If this tetonic plate's rockin' such that it registers no less than 6.1 on the Richter scale, don't come a knockin'.

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Under A Pale Grey Sky
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Under A Pale Grey Sky » Thu Dec 03, 2009 9:50 am UTC

Granted. You get a drum set, and every now and then, it kicks you in the ass.

I wish I had a Chicago Typewriter
Firelight holds their peace
Sing farewell by smoke in the cold
We farewell the old
As they fall to silence

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby King of Frogs » Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:03 am UTC

Granted, you get a typewriter made in Chicago, it lands on your head. What? Were you expecting a Tommy gun?

I wish my facial hair wasn't ginger.
The first one to fall asleep when the revolution comes.
Cheese wrote:We should never talk ever again. Ever.

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Zohar
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Zohar » Thu Dec 03, 2009 12:40 pm UTC

Granted. It glows in the dark.

I wish I knew where Imeme was.
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Plasma Man » Thu Dec 03, 2009 4:04 pm UTC

Granted, but now you know he's in your wardrobe, watching you all the time.

I wish my colleagues would help me with my work.
Please note that despite the lovely avatar Sungura gave me, I am not a medical doctor.

Possibly my proudest moment on the fora.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Roĝer » Thu Dec 03, 2009 4:26 pm UTC

Granted, they help you at the office, later they help you drive home, they hold the door for you, they open your mail for you. Later they help you eat your dinner, help you watch tv and even help you make love to your significant other. Isn't that nice.

I wish kaimason1 dies in an incident caused by changing the rules of mathematics.
Ik ben niet koppig, ik heb gewoon gelijk.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby kaimason1 » Thu Dec 03, 2009 8:28 pm UTC

Granted, but I am cryogenically frozen and wake up in the world of Star Trek, where I steal a time machine and futuristic technology and come back, where I make a fortune off the tools. I then buy the world and make your life a living hell.

Also, that means I have completely changed almost all within human knowledge. Challenge: Think of all the implications on knowledge the previous paragraph would have if it really happend.

I wish I was omniscient. Given I am taking a part in this forum, I already am omnipotent, but omniscience would be cool.
SexyTalon wrote:If it walks like a person, talks like a person, and tastes like a person, it's probably a person. Or I Can't Believe It's Not People, which cannibals prefer to Soylent Green nearly 5 to 1 in a blind taste test.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Roĝer » Thu Dec 03, 2009 9:34 pm UTC

Granted, but that includes all horrible fetish porn and fanfic ever made. You immediately kill yourself.

I wish for KFC to only serve vegetarian food from now on.
Ik ben niet koppig, ik heb gewoon gelijk.

thefrenchhornguy
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby thefrenchhornguy » Thu Dec 03, 2009 10:59 pm UTC

Granted. The rules of the universe are revised so that chicken is no longer considered meat. KFC does not change their menu since they now serve only "vegetarian" food.

I wish this post no longer existed.

RedBandit
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby RedBandit » Fri Dec 04, 2009 5:51 am UTC

Denied! Instead, you are turned into a lion. A hungry lion does not enjoy grass.

Spoiler:
(Granted! The wish is corrupted enough! Think about it a second. No strings attached. One of the few here with a granted wish. Ha. Be careful what you wish for and such. And now for something completely different.)


I wish for 99 bottles of beer.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Brooklynxman » Fri Dec 04, 2009 9:00 am UTC

Granted. You have to drink them all though. Now. At once. Have fun with alcohol poisoning.

I wish for a slice of real New York pizza.
We figure out what all this means, then do something large and violent

The thing about changing the world...once you do it the world's all different.

I'm Angel. I beat the bad guys.

Spoiler:
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Roĝer » Fri Dec 04, 2009 11:34 am UTC

Granted, you get a slice of a pizza made out of the entire city of New York, weighing many megatons. And you have to eat it all at once.

I wish to have an extra arm.
Ik ben niet koppig, ik heb gewoon gelijk.

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Under A Pale Grey Sky
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Under A Pale Grey Sky » Fri Dec 04, 2009 1:03 pm UTC

Granted, but now you have no legs.

I wish for something completely different.
Firelight holds their peace
Sing farewell by smoke in the cold
We farewell the old
As they fall to silence

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TheOtherDOOMGuy
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby TheOtherDOOMGuy » Fri Dec 04, 2009 11:57 pm UTC

Granted, you are the first case of a horrible new virus that grants immortality, with the downside of endless pain and suffering.


I wish I had a better spec laptop.
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabris, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.

And on my car:
Sic hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus et nimis propinquus ades

thefrenchhornguy
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby thefrenchhornguy » Sat Dec 05, 2009 3:14 am UTC

Granted. Your laptop has the top hardware available, but for some reason, no screen.

I wish for your mom.

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Vohu Manah
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Vohu Manah » Sat Dec 05, 2009 4:50 am UTC

Granted, but since she doesn't like platitudes, she strangles you to death with your own intestinal lining.

I wish for all platitudes to be abolished, starting now.
Isaac Hill wrote:If this tetonic plate's rockin' such that it registers no less than 6.1 on the Richter scale, don't come a knockin'.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby RedBandit » Sat Dec 05, 2009 1:35 pm UTC

Denied! Instead you turn into a platypus! People only speak to you in meaningless platitudes from now on. And you understand English, but are unable to speak. And, you lack any of the knowledge platypus are born with teaching them how to survive. Offhand, I give you about a week before getting eaten by whatever predator finds platypus appetizing.

I wish for an amazing weekend.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Impulse97 » Sat Dec 05, 2009 3:44 pm UTC

Granted, your best friend has an amazing weekend while you have a bad cold.


I wish for more food.
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:Dude, everyone likes girls. Have you seen girls? Girls are hot!

The preceding sentence was made with good faith and good humor...


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King of Frogs
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby King of Frogs » Sat Dec 05, 2009 5:43 pm UTC

Granted - you eat so much your stomach bursts.

I wish I could shave without cutting myself.
The first one to fall asleep when the revolution comes.
Cheese wrote:We should never talk ever again. Ever.

michaelandjimi wrote:"No, cease your sexual activities! The communists will invade!"

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby thefrenchhornguy » Sat Dec 05, 2009 8:07 pm UTC

Granted. In order to facilitate this your razor is replaced with a blowtorch. It successfully burns all the hair of your face, along with all your features. But no cuts!

I wish for some words of wisdom.

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boring bore
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby boring bore » Sat Dec 05, 2009 10:03 pm UTC

Granted, but as a human being (which I assume you are), you don't recognize them when you hear them, ignore them, and go on living a normal, corrupt life.

I wish all of my homework was done.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Loke » Sat Dec 05, 2009 10:24 pm UTC

Granted. It all gets done. But terribly badly, with a permanent marker, don't even try to use a rubber. If it's in your computer it turns into spyware D:

I wish I'm never ninja'd again :3
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RedBandit
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby RedBandit » Sun Dec 06, 2009 3:18 am UTC

Granted! Instead you get rhino'ed. Because, it doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge...

I wish to be able to manipulate matter at a sub-atomic level.
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kaimason1
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby kaimason1 » Sun Dec 06, 2009 2:56 pm UTC

Granted. Unfortunately, to do this you yourself become subatomic and by the laws of QM you become a meaningless probability distribution.

I wish the world was deterministic.
SexyTalon wrote:If it walks like a person, talks like a person, and tastes like a person, it's probably a person. Or I Can't Believe It's Not People, which cannibals prefer to Soylent Green nearly 5 to 1 in a blind taste test.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Roĝer » Sun Dec 06, 2009 4:26 pm UTC

Granted, and I don't bother writing the rest since you can figure out what I would have said.

I wish for a Marxist revolution in the USA, now.
Ik ben niet koppig, ik heb gewoon gelijk.

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kaimason1
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby kaimason1 » Sun Dec 06, 2009 4:44 pm UTC

Granted! Unfortunately, the second leader of the new country creates a fascist dictatorship, ruining the name of Marxism, this time for good. Congratulations. You have killed the future with a keyboard.

I wish I wouldn't forget to post a wish anymore.

As an actual wish, I wish Marxism would work successfully as a world government, rather than becoming another USSR.
Last edited by kaimason1 on Sun Dec 06, 2009 7:13 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
SexyTalon wrote:If it walks like a person, talks like a person, and tastes like a person, it's probably a person. Or I Can't Believe It's Not People, which cannibals prefer to Soylent Green nearly 5 to 1 in a blind taste test.


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