Corrupt-a-wish

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xX17GHDUDE17Xx
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xX17GHDUDE17Xx » Wed Jul 13, 2011 4:48 am UTC

Granted, the Earth explodes, as well as any other celestial body that housed any participants in that war, and any space ships they may have been using. (I am sorry, I sort of lost interest half-way through the page :? )

I wish now that it would STOP raining. This weather here is absolutely wretched. I place the blame completely on Randomizer.
"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind" -Ghandi

Wrong. All that does is eliminate humanity's depth perception.

blademan9999
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Wed Jul 13, 2011 5:55 am UTC

Granted but the reason why it happened is because of another probe invasion.

I wish this ridiculous madness would stop. (Please try and make your wish have some relation to the answer of the previous one.)
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Evengeduld
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Evengeduld » Wed Jul 13, 2011 7:21 am UTC

Granted being Analy probed made you forget about the madness...

I wish the aliens to come in peace.
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feyayeruka
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby feyayeruka » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:27 am UTC

Granted. but then they breed and over populate the earth, using up all its resources and polluting the air and water, until it's basically uninhabitable.
-wait... uhhhh

I wish someone would go put another log on the fire.

blademan9999
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:39 am UTC

Granted but it was the last one in the world, the rest already got used up by the aliens.
I wish for more trees, and for them not to be on me.
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feyayeruka
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby feyayeruka » Wed Jul 13, 2011 11:32 pm UTC

granted. but they're growing *in* your lungs (A-la recent Grey's Anatomy eposode)

I wish to be healthy

blademan9999
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Thu Jul 14, 2011 5:58 am UTC

granted, but trees appear on top of you an injure you.
I wish the trees would be in a proper place.
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thorgold
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby thorgold » Thu Jul 14, 2011 10:19 pm UTC

Granted - The trees go back to their proper places, in various forests throughout the world. Unfortunately, there were already trees THERE, and the sudden overlap of matter causes a rupture in the fabric of time and space. Hilarity ensues.

I wish for donuts!
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Sean Quixote
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sean Quixote » Fri Jul 15, 2011 3:31 am UTC

Okay, but it comes in the form of a hamburger.

I wish for a fractal iteration of this wish.

blademan9999
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Fri Jul 15, 2011 6:40 am UTC

It makes a huge paradox.

I wish for the paradox and the rapture in space and time to be gone (Let's make are wishes related to the answer of the previous one.)
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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Sat Jul 16, 2011 2:37 am UTC

Granted, all paradoxes are resolved by being eliminated. Along with the rest of the universe. On the bright side, that includes the aliens and the Me-Probes.

I wish for a better universe to replace it.

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Sean Quixote
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sean Quixote » Sat Jul 16, 2011 4:22 am UTC

Okay, a new non-paradoxical universe forms from nothing. But wait, that's a paradox! Yet another new universe comes into being, this time forming from the paradoxical nature of the other, perfectly non-paradoxical universe, a parallel "anti-universe" if you will...

I wish that paradoxes weren't so paradoxical, but ONLY in the non-paradoxical universe. ;)

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Sat Jul 16, 2011 3:08 pm UTC

Granted but that in itself is a paradox, but that's a paradox since it shouldn't be paradoxical.
The huge space time anomaly recreates all the probe swarms.
I wish the probes would be gone again.
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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Sat Jul 16, 2011 8:12 pm UTC

Granted, the Me-Machines are tired of the constant probe invasions, and travel to another dimension (or parallel universe or something) so we can be left in peace.

I wish to have retractable claws on my fingers, like a cat.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Scyphozoa » Sat Jul 16, 2011 8:16 pm UTC

Granted. As an added bonus, they have poison... on both ends.

I wish my dog didn't barf so much.
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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Sat Jul 16, 2011 8:18 pm UTC

Granted, now it comes out the other end.

I wish to be immune to the poison on my claws.

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Sean Quixote
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sean Quixote » Sat Jul 16, 2011 8:19 pm UTC

Okay but now he shits all the time instead. And it's all stinky, and green. (LOL, we both said basically the same thing...)

Okay fine but now you are severely allergic to air. Good luck breathing.

I wish Jay Leno were funny.

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thorgold
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby thorgold » Sat Jul 16, 2011 10:40 pm UTC

Granted, but this is accomplished by destroying the sense of humor in everyone. It's funny, now, but so are dust mites.

I wish that I could get a good-quality pair of prescription glasses for under $20.
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Munchu
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Munchu » Sat Jul 16, 2011 11:55 pm UTC

thorgold wrote:I wish that I could get a good-quality pair of prescription glasses for under $20.


Granted, but they're the only ones left at the store, and you lose them a day later.

Edit: I wish I owned an island.

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Drakohel
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Drakohel » Sun Jul 17, 2011 10:13 am UTC

Granted. It's located on the back of a whale, Sinbad-style, so you lose your island after 24 hours.

I wish I could just go to sleep.

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Sleipner
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sleipner » Sun Jul 17, 2011 12:59 pm UTC

Granted, but when you do wake up, you're in a dystopian world where people are harvested by other, subterranean people. Wait...

I wish I could write code without making mistakes.

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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Sun Jul 17, 2011 2:23 pm UTC

Granted, but only when programming on punch-cards.

I wish for a bagel.

blademan9999
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Sun Jul 17, 2011 4:23 pm UTC

Granted, but it turns into a portal and all the waste materials from the probes new universes come out.

I wish I would get a awesome game from it that I don't have the software to use and can't sell it.
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xX17GHDUDE17Xx
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xX17GHDUDE17Xx » Sun Jul 17, 2011 5:38 pm UTC

Granted. When not in use, it also emits a very loud, very high pitched noise that only the owner of the game can hear.

I wish for true, 3-D virtual reality games.
"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind" -Ghandi

Wrong. All that does is eliminate humanity's depth perception.

blademan9999
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Sun Jul 17, 2011 5:39 pm UTC

Granted, in the game you are continually tortured by probes.
I wish the game would be fixed!
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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Mon Jul 18, 2011 3:32 am UTC

Granted, the bugs that caused you not to be tortured by Me-Probes are fixed. Also, less loading time in between types of torture. Oh, and every level is either an escort mission or fetch-it quest (or both).

I wish for someone else to eat my bagel.

blademan9999
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Mon Jul 18, 2011 4:50 am UTC

The virtual reality probes do. (Please make your wish related to the previous one.)
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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Mon Jul 18, 2011 5:16 am UTC

Granted, my wish is retroactively changed to wanting to know how Blademann only has '18 posts' despite constantly posting all over xkcd.

Also, I wish for said wish to be answered.

blademan9999
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Mon Jul 18, 2011 9:09 am UTC

It's answered when someone hacks your account, spams in one of the forums and you find out that in certain sub forums, the posts don't count, you are then banned.
I wish you'd be unbanned.
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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Mon Jul 18, 2011 3:40 pm UTC

Granted, but I still don't know the answer to my previous question.

I wish for the ability to teleport/time-travel any distance I want, any time I want, as many times as I want.

blademan9999
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Mon Jul 18, 2011 5:09 pm UTC

Granted but you teleport into the universe with the probes, they then attack you.
I wish Corruptuser could get back.
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xX17GHDUDE17Xx
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xX17GHDUDE17Xx » Mon Jul 18, 2011 10:03 pm UTC

Granted but the probes come with him (?)

I wish blademan would explain why you should make your wish related to the last one since nothing in the original post indicates that this is a requirement.
"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind" -Ghandi

Wrong. All that does is eliminate humanity's depth perception.

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Sean Quixote
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sean Quixote » Mon Jul 18, 2011 11:17 pm UTC

Granted, but then he'll attack you with some sort of lawyer...

I wish more people posted in this thread...

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xX17GHDUDE17Xx
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xX17GHDUDE17Xx » Mon Jul 18, 2011 11:25 pm UTC

Granted, but the newcomers don't count right and bungle the whole thing up.

I wish Quixote would immediately regret this wish, and then feel awful when he realizes he can never take it back.
"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind" -Ghandi

Wrong. All that does is eliminate humanity's depth perception.

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Sean Quixote
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sean Quixote » Mon Jul 18, 2011 11:30 pm UTC

Okay.... FINE... Are you happy now? :oops:

I wish someone loved me. :cry:

feyayeruka
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby feyayeruka » Tue Jul 19, 2011 1:58 am UTC

Granted. But it's me. and I live in Australia. And I'm married.

I wish I could find the perfect pair of jeans.

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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Tue Jul 19, 2011 4:52 am UTC

Granted, but they are for the other gender. At least they look good on your spouse. Or off as the case may be.

I wish for the ability to un-send emails before people read them.

Also, I am the probes.

blademan9999
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Tue Jul 19, 2011 5:59 am UTC

Granted but you accidentally un send a very important message. The probes can now attack again. (Making your wish related to the answer to the previous one makes it more interesting.)
I wish we had weapons to attack the probes.
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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Tue Jul 19, 2011 6:26 am UTC

Granted, but since I am the probes, thus the probes built the weapons, use the weapons at your own risk.

I wish people would stop blaming Me-Probes for all of their problems. We just want to calculate the the meaning of life. Oh, and maximize our chance of survival by assimilating a significant percentage of the universe.

blademan9999
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby blademan9999 » Tue Jul 19, 2011 6:31 am UTC

Granted but they now attack them with hyper weapons.
I wish the weapons would work.
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