Corrupt-a-wish

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Quizatzhaderac
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Mon Jul 24, 2017 4:07 pm UTC

Granted, it's a "case" in the medical sense, meaning that you have a dessert specific form of alcoholism. Nobody takes your condition seriously because it's dessert specific.

I wish that the number of executions in the world didn't change, but they were done via "death by chocolate"
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Mon Jul 24, 2017 5:14 pm UTC

granted. when its someones time to die, a giant chocolate bar falls on them.

i wish i knew how to counter act any corruption.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Hellaphunt » Tue Jul 25, 2017 2:57 pm UTC

Granted. The next time corruption takes place, people will start placing items on you.

I wish time froze.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby heuristically_alone » Tue Jul 25, 2017 3:02 pm UTC

Granted. All the clocks in the world stopped working. However the sun keeps spinning.

I wish I owned a king sized bed.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Tue Jul 25, 2017 4:32 pm UTC

Granted, but it's a Procrustean fitting.

I wish for a laser pointer capable of destroying (only) worthless uninhabited planetoids.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Peaceful Whale » Tue Jul 25, 2017 6:57 pm UTC

Granted, but it won't fix the 8 planets debate

I wish for the next person to post to wish for the next person to post to wish for the next person to post to wish for the next person to post to wish for the next person to post to wish for the next person to post to wish for the next person to post to wish for the next person to post to wish for the next person to post to wish for the next person to post to wish for the next person to post to wish for the next person to post to wish for the next person to post to wish for the next person to post to wish for the next person to post to wish for the next person to post to wish for the next person to post to wish for the next person to post to wish for the next person to post to wish for the next person to post to wish for this to never end
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Wed Jul 26, 2017 12:42 am UTC

Not granted. And as the wielder of the aforementioned laser used it (maybe accidentally, maybe not) on earth itself, the third planet of Sol is now Mars. Thus, it ended. And, btw, Pluto is a planet, dammit! So now there are eight planets. Unless Pluto is just a dog, in which case there are seven. Next to the sun, they are all dwarfs (of course), and so we find ourselves in a Disney film in which we don't even exist any more.

I wish I had another chair so my wife could sit near my computer.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Peaceful Whale » Wed Jul 26, 2017 12:52 am UTC

Wish granted, but while you are gone getting something, she reads through your search history.

I wish that the only way to make switch cases, if statements, and loops was by using "goto:"
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Wed Jul 26, 2017 8:43 pm UTC

now all code looks like spaghetti code. which I'm guessing was the intent.

i wish i knew the fastest way to make any woman fall in love with me.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Wed Jul 26, 2017 9:29 pm UTC

Granted. You can't control it however - you end up doing it (or its opposite) pretty much randomly, and pretty soon every woman either loves you or hates you or both.

I wish for a circular saw (that is, the power tool of that name) with a masonry blade.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Peaceful Whale » Wed Jul 26, 2017 11:14 pm UTC

Granted, but it's missing it's power source. It's impossible to find one that works, make your own, or ever even turn it on. Yet you still waste the rest of your life trying.

I wish for the person bellow this post to not corrupt this wish.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Thu Jul 27, 2017 2:16 am UTC

Granted.

I wish for the person below this post to corrupt the wish above this post.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Fri Jul 28, 2017 3:50 pm UTC

not granted.

i wish for the person below this post to corrupt this wish in the worst possible way.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Hellaphunt » Fri Jul 28, 2017 4:22 pm UTC

Granted. You've started WW3.

I wish for world peace with no consequences.
Last edited by Hellaphunt on Wed Aug 02, 2017 2:32 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby heuristically_alone » Sat Jul 29, 2017 1:20 am UTC

Granted. But world peace results in a contradictory paradox and there is a big bang that destroys earth and creates a new earth and life starts from the beginning all over you.

I wish my friends lived forever.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Sat Jul 29, 2017 3:25 am UTC

Granted. They live, but their health deteriorates. Forever. It's not pretty. Fortunately you die after 100 years of deteriorating health yourself; they however continue on like undead zombies.

I wish for a piece of chocolate. (And I'm about to get one!)

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Peaceful Whale » Sat Jul 29, 2017 1:04 pm UTC

Granted. The choke on the peace and die.

I wish for a perfect line of code
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Sat Jul 29, 2017 2:52 pm UTC

Granted. It's NOP.

I wish for warm dry sunny weather today. Here, where I am.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Tue Aug 01, 2017 2:46 pm UTC

Granted, the Earth is uniformly heated until this is true. Meteorology happens.

I wish I was immune to insect (and other arthropod) bytes.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SirGabriel » Tue Aug 01, 2017 3:02 pm UTC

Granted. Robotic insects can no longer harm you. However, you are extremely allergic to most kinds of real insects, so an insect bite will most likely kill you.

I wish I knew what else I should watch before my Netflix free trial expires.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Tue Aug 01, 2017 10:14 pm UTC

granted. nothing.

i wish for a good joke.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby BittahOverlord » Wed Aug 02, 2017 12:59 am UTC

phillip1882 wrote:granted. nothing.

i wish for a good joke.


granted. "what did the robot say to the centipede? -- "Stop being a centipede."

i wish to be able to wish for more wishes.
i may be small, but i will die a COLOSSUS.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Peaceful Whale » Wed Aug 02, 2017 1:19 am UTC

Granted, but each one will be corrupted.

I wish for a fish
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby BittahOverlord » Wed Aug 02, 2017 2:02 am UTC

granted. your fish gets eaten by another fish.

i wish for time to be frozen for 1 day.
i may be small, but i will die a COLOSSUS.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Peaceful Whale » Wed Aug 02, 2017 3:14 am UTC

As time is frozen, the concept of a day is impossible. Time is then frozen. Not forever. It just won't ever be unfrozen.

I wish for the raptor apocalypse
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Wed Aug 02, 2017 1:51 pm UTC

granted, everyone gets eaten by raptors. then history begins over with the dinosours.

i wish for a new fun popular forum game.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Wed Aug 02, 2017 8:16 pm UTC

Granted, it's a game for the popular forums, not in the popular forums.

I with for a new poplar-form game.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby BittahOverlord » Wed Aug 02, 2017 8:23 pm UTC

granted. a game is created that only involves trees. the game only exists on a planet without oxygen in its atmosphere. all the trees die.

i wish for my student loans to be randomly paid back by Merlin, and then he takes me on as his apprentice.
i may be small, but i will die a COLOSSUS.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Thu Aug 03, 2017 8:39 pm UTC

Granted. As time marches on, you become more and more ignorant until you can't even add three and five, you come further under your parent's dominion, and when they die (if they haven't already), you are put in an orphanage, and are eventually abandoned in diapers.

Merlin has a good giggle at this; it seems you weren't all that good an apprentice, and could never really get the hang of emit ni sdrawkcab gniog.

I wish Roomas Roombas had higher capacity batteries (by a factor of two).

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Fri Aug 04, 2017 7:43 pm UTC

Granted, they have twice the capacitance but they have half the voltage.

I wish the capacitor manufacturers didn't use MA or MAmp to indicate milli-amperes.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Peaceful Whale » Fri Aug 04, 2017 8:01 pm UTC

Granted, they now use this size font instead and write MaImLpLI

I wish for this to be the universe I lived in
https://xkcd.com/965/
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby BittahOverlord » Fri Aug 04, 2017 10:25 pm UTC

granted. you now live in that universe except no other life exists.

i wish for robot hand that is able to turn corrupted wishes into uncorrupted ones.
i may be small, but i will die a COLOSSUS.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Sat Aug 05, 2017 3:57 am UTC

Granted. The robot hand can. But doesn't. It's controlled by an AI that thinks it's smarter than you.

I wish I could fly.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby BittahOverlord » Sat Aug 05, 2017 7:10 pm UTC

granted. someome invents a way for reverse gravity for everyone and everything that isn't you.

i wish for peace amongst all humans and robot hands. may we rule the galaxy as one entity from this day forward.
i may be small, but i will die a COLOSSUS.

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Sat Aug 05, 2017 9:00 pm UTC

Granted. Robot hands are welded onto everyone. None of the people survive the welding process, but the hands do.

I wish I could see both shows (tonight is closing night for two shows I want to see.)

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby BittahOverlord » Sat Aug 05, 2017 9:21 pm UTC

granted. you are able to watch both shows at the same time. each eye focusing on each show. upon watching the show you realize it wasn't a show at all. it was a mirror to your troubled past and you develop PTSD.

i wish to be able to traverse through time forwards instead of backwards.
i may be small, but i will die a COLOSSUS.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Mon Aug 07, 2017 7:12 pm UTC

Granted, you can travel whichever direction in time you want, but your are inextricably traveling north. Also, you're in the galactic core and die in a very short amount of time, err.. a short amount of north.
Spoiler:
In any black hole, the direction of down becomes timelike. In a rotating black hole (like the galactic core) east (aka spinwise) also becomes timelike.

Physic-mathTM tells us that switching all of the dimensions between timelike and spacelike is no real difference at all; so doing that north-south becomes the only timelike dimension for you.
I wish people in star trek didn't feel the need to specify "sonic shower" all the time and would just say "shower".
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Mon Aug 07, 2017 9:13 pm UTC

Granted. But everyone else starts specifying "sonic fork", "sonic speaker", "sonic muffler", and pretty much "sonic" everything.

I wish annoying animations disappeared.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby BittahOverlord » Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:43 pm UTC

granted. the animations stop, and then you go blind. then, the animations begin again.

i wish all works of fiction to become non fiction.
i may be small, but i will die a COLOSSUS.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Tue Aug 08, 2017 7:34 pm UTC

Granted. A sharknado transports you into the plot of The Memorandum as you spend the next few years unsuccessfully filling out the form that we get you home you start to wonder if you were better off with the sharknado.

I wish Sharknados and Ptydepe were no longer real.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.


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