xkcd

by **ZeroSum** » Sat May 19, 2007 4:01 pm UTC

Rodan wrote:I wish everything wrong with my siotuation would go away.

Denied.

by **Maseiken** » Sat May 19, 2007 4:02 pm UTC

I wish for myself to get sleep fast... night!

by **Peshmerga** » Sat May 19, 2007 4:19 pm UTC

Granted, but you wake up next to a horse head.

I wish I never forget about my sweet friend.

by **ZeroSum** » Sat May 19, 2007 4:21 pm UTC

Granted. You can remember nothing else.

I wish for a garage.

by **DonChubby** » Sat May 19, 2007 4:23 pm UTC

Granted, it is the size of a matchbox.

I wish all you XKCDians wouldn't have posted so friggin' much while I was sleeping.

by **Jesse** » Sat May 19, 2007 4:25 pm UTC

Granted. Everyone is banned.

I wish I had a limitless supply of pens.

by **pete** » Sat May 19, 2007 4:27 pm UTC

Granted. You now defecate pens.

I wish this game wasn't so repetitive.

by **ZeroSum** » Sat May 19, 2007 4:49 pm UTC

Granted. No one may now use a non-function word someone has previously used.

The desire personally held claims want of a probiscus.

by **Rodan** » Sat May 19, 2007 4:52 pm UTC

kaching! but it that rule is only temporary...

I wish my tazmanian devil would be more friendly.

by **Spaz Funbag** » Sat May 19, 2007 5:08 pm UTC

it is...to your intestines.

I wish I could see the stars right now.

Click link. Receive my face. · by **bbctol** » Sat May 19, 2007 5:09 pm UTC

You see *all* the stars, and your retinas burn.

I wish I was xkcd.

by **Peshmerga** » Sat May 19, 2007 5:14 pm UTC

Granted, but you're now a webserver, fated to process millions of packet requests a day.

I wish I had a million US dollars placed in my savings account in the Bank of America, money I can freely withdraw and spend on any items of my choosing at any store.

Click link. Receive my face. · by **bbctol** » Sat May 19, 2007 5:15 pm UTC

Bank of America steals your money.

I wish I had a black cherry soda.

by **ZeroSum** » Sat May 19, 2007 5:17 pm UTC

Granted. But the cherries were black because they were rotten.

I wish I could redo high school.

by **Spaz Funbag** » Sat May 19, 2007 5:41 pm UTC

Granted. after you clean all the toilets of your highschool, a drunk diarrheac mob is the reason you will have to redo the cleaning.

I wish I could remember that really cool wish i still knew two minutes ago.

by **Rodan** » Sat May 19, 2007 5:43 pm UTC

granted, but I corrupted that wish already... have fun with the angry demon with purple slacks!

I wish my glass of poo would be a glass of beer.

by **LE4dGOLEM** » Sat May 19, 2007 5:46 pm UTC

Rodan wrote:granted, but I corrupted that wish already... have fun with the angry demon with purple slacks!

I wish my glass of poo would be a glass of beer.

Granted. It still tastes the same though.

I wish I could ride a walrus to school.

by **Rodan** » Sat May 19, 2007 5:55 pm UTC

granted, the walrus acts a lot like my sadistic rapist tazmanian devil.

I wish I wasn't an evil bastard that has -20 leadgolem points...

Click link. Receive my face. · by **bbctol** » Sat May 19, 2007 5:56 pm UTC

Granted. Your an evil bastard with -50 LE4D points.

I wish I had a gun.

by **Rodan** » Sat May 19, 2007 5:58 pm UTC

granted, but it has gained sentience and it is angry with you...

I wish I had a spine... again...

by **Jesse** » Sat May 19, 2007 6:00 pm UTC

Granted, it is in a formaledhyde jar on your shelf.

by **Rodan** » Sat May 19, 2007 6:01 pm UTC

I wish I could get to my shelf, and a willing surgeon.

by **pete** » Sat May 19, 2007 6:12 pm UTC

Granted. You are now able to reach your shelf, and a surgeon is willing to stand in for your sadistic rapist marsupial.

I wish for eternal happiness for all mankind.

Click link. Receive my face. · by **bbctol** » Sat May 19, 2007 6:13 pm UTC

Granted. Violence makes people very happy.

I wish I had a good computer.

by **Rodan** » Sat May 19, 2007 6:22 pm UTC

( yay! I'm out of jail! And I met a hot woman surgeon! Yay!)
anyway, granted, but its only good if you like blue screens of death.

I wish for world war three!

by **pete** » Sat May 19, 2007 6:28 pm UTC

Granted. You are arrested as a political prisoner and thown into a cell with 5 large men named Bubba.

I wish for Rodan's hot lady surgeon.

Click link. Receive my face. · by **bbctol** » Sat May 19, 2007 6:32 pm UTC

Granted. Unfortunately, she's hot to Rodan's fetishistic mind.

I wish for a wad of 100$ bills.

by **Rodan** » Sat May 19, 2007 6:40 pm UTC

granted, but you used them all up lighting cigars.

I wish to be out of prison again.

by **gmalivuk** » Sat May 19, 2007 6:47 pm UTC

Granted, you are now sitting in an electric chair.

I wish there was a good movie on TV right now.

by **Spaz Funbag** » Sat May 19, 2007 6:49 pm UTC

granted. you are now in a all kids shout hurray when good ol spongebob shows up on the screen

I wish that the next poster has a nice life

by **Rodan** » Sat May 19, 2007 6:50 pm UTC

granted, thank, you. I do. However, you dont.

I wish what they guy before you wished.

by **Spaz Funbag** » Sat May 19, 2007 6:53 pm UTC

Oh dear. Now we're trapped in an infinite loop.

Click link. Receive my face. · by **bbctol** » Sat May 19, 2007 7:48 pm UTC

Granted. I have a nice life.

Hey, it works out, doesn't it?

I wish for sweet loving.

by **DonChubby** » Sat May 19, 2007 7:54 pm UTC

Granted, you now love sweets and eventually will die from diabetes.

I wish that Swat 4 would install on my computer.

Click link. Receive my face. · by **bbctol** » Sat May 19, 2007 7:59 pm UTC

The SWAT4 virus is successfully installed on your computer.

I wish for a machine gun for a leg.

by **Spaz Funbag** » Sat May 19, 2007 8:05 pm UTC

Granted. As the open end points towards your upper torso, the next step will unleash a devastating salvae of bullets tearing through your body.

I wish upon a star.

by **pete** » Sat May 19, 2007 8:25 pm UTC

Granted. You are now "up on" a star. I threw in some free English lessons too, that wish didn't really make sense

I wish I was The Incredible Hulk.

by **Spag** » Sat May 19, 2007 8:37 pm UTC

granted, but you are an inch tall,

I wish everything would stay the same as it is now.

by **pete** » Sat May 19, 2007 8:38 pm UTC

Granted. You are frozen in time.

I wish I didn't have to make this wish.

by **Col. Mustard** » Sat May 19, 2007 8:48 pm UTC

Granted, you are now making license plates with Rodan in jail.

I wish the windows OS worked better.

xkcd

Corrupt-a-wish

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