"Hello. Welcome to cjmcjmcjmcjm's ugly house, the only house where octopi can be eaten whole."
With these words, my newlywed host offered me three glasses of beer. I accepted, but found swallowing difficult because my uvula is on fire.
T'is the end. It is nigh. We are doomed! The Grues incoming, ready the lamps, fetch the towels!
Thus ended the tense-confused tale that began when Ninetales' dapper visage farted and died.
To be continued...
Seven days after, I found myself playing a game of fizzbin against my only true bottle of champagne. The champagne said, "drink me please." True as it said, I drank the tempting wine only to find it much too sour, like a old wet trout. Disappointment I felt when its acidic lava singe my subject-verb agreements! I grabbed beer and some cards and more beer. I drank beer in debilitating boredom with Sean Quixote's noble steed that hit my face in the wall while Pink played quietly. Feeling paranoid as Marvin ate your cat, you stabbed him with your penis.Then you realized you were horny without any hope of winning some delicious poon-tang. Jacking with a chainsaw was painfully necessary, but Superman had no qualms with the green donkey, which you won in a game of Flying Spaghetti Pong, and you ate the dice. But the dice were already ticking. The ticking distracted me from the painful buzzing sound in my penis.
You wouldn't think a buzzing sound could undo the farts made by eating so many human beings in a single sitting. The buzzing caused me to become sleepy. The End came quickly, but Endermen weren't hungry.
But the grues had unexpectedly vanished, ending the chapter.
"Part Three: In the brilliant sun tower"
A man pooped his pants beside a large sculpture of sexual abuse and violence. It was rated "banned for content", much like Reddit, Facebook, Google, xkcd,