Good News, Bad News

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Sun Jul 17, 2016 1:55 pm UTC

Bad news: the guy demands a willing human sacrifice in payment.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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flicky1991
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby flicky1991 » Sun Jul 17, 2016 1:57 pm UTC

Good news: you have living parents.
any pronouns
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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Sun Jul 17, 2016 1:58 pm UTC

Bad news: you actually like them.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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flicky1991
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby flicky1991 » Sun Jul 17, 2016 1:58 pm UTC

Good news: you like the forum more.
any pronouns
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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Sun Jul 17, 2016 2:00 pm UTC

Bad news: the blood stains your carpet.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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flicky1991
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby flicky1991 » Sun Jul 17, 2016 2:02 pm UTC

Good news: it matches the colour.
any pronouns
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(tell me if link doesn't work)

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Sun Jul 17, 2016 2:04 pm UTC

Bad news: the death also caused them to relieve their bowels.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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SDK
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SDK » Mon Jul 18, 2016 3:31 am UTC

Good news:You've already sold the house and bought a new one across town. Possession date is today. They can deal with it.
The biggest number (63 quintillion googols in debt)

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Mon Jul 18, 2016 1:03 pm UTC

Bad news: they sue you for it.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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SDK
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SDK » Mon Jul 18, 2016 2:24 pm UTC

Good news: You've got a crack team of lawyers ready to countersue.
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SirGabriel
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SirGabriel » Mon Jul 18, 2016 5:26 pm UTC

Bad news: Your crack team of lawyers are arrested for smoking crack, so they can't defend you in the lawsuit.

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SDK
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SDK » Mon Jul 18, 2016 5:34 pm UTC

Good news: You're a lawyer.
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SirGabriel
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SirGabriel » Mon Jul 18, 2016 5:37 pm UTC

Bad news: You're not a very good lawyer, or you wouldn't have hired those other lawyers in the first place.

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SDK
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SDK » Mon Jul 18, 2016 5:42 pm UTC

Good news: The people suing you have just died in a not-at-all-suspicious kind of way.
The biggest number (63 quintillion googols in debt)

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Mon Jul 18, 2016 7:31 pm UTC

Bad news: the police doesn't believe they accidentally fell from your office building, to which they didn't have access.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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SirGabriel
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SirGabriel » Mon Jul 18, 2016 8:51 pm UTC

Good news: the opinion of a 70s rock band isn't important. The law enforcement officers don't think you killed them.

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SDK
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SDK » Mon Jul 18, 2016 9:13 pm UTC

Bad news: Their ghosts haunt you.
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Sableagle
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Sableagle » Mon Jul 18, 2016 9:25 pm UTC

Good news: after making a valuable contribution to the military operation to "liberate" (i.e. conquer) Iraq, you're already haunted by over half a million ghosts and don't even notice the two new ones.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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SDK
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SDK » Mon Jul 18, 2016 9:32 pm UTC

Bad news: These two new ones rouse the rabble and convince the 500 000 others to join them in singing The Song That Never Ends.
The biggest number (63 quintillion googols in debt)

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thunk
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby thunk » Mon Jul 18, 2016 10:47 pm UTC

Good news: You have spiritual noise-cancelling headphones.
Free markets, free movement, free plops
Blitz on, my friends Quantized, GnomeAnne, and iskinner!
troo dat

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Tue Jul 19, 2016 3:09 pm UTC

Bad news: they also absolutely block any and all real world sound, vision, smell, taste and touch.
You go mad due to sensory deprivation.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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bug sniper
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby bug sniper » Tue Jul 26, 2016 1:52 pm UTC

Good News: At least they don't block your sense of balance.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Tue Jul 26, 2016 1:59 pm UTC

Bad news: You don't notice that third bus from the left due to the headphones.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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thunk
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby thunk » Wed Jul 27, 2016 3:45 am UTC

Good news: The bus sees you and stops.
Free markets, free movement, free plops
Blitz on, my friends Quantized, GnomeAnne, and iskinner!
troo dat

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Wed Jul 27, 2016 10:15 am UTC

Bad news: the bus driver forgot there was a bomb on board that would explode if the speed dropped below 50 km/h.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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SDK
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SDK » Wed Jul 27, 2016 2:27 pm UTC

Good news: Keanu Reeves has already taken care of that. He just forgot to tell the driver.
The biggest number (63 quintillion googols in debt)

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Wed Jul 27, 2016 2:58 pm UTC

Bad news: Keanu Reeves kicks you in the face.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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SDK
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SDK » Wed Jul 27, 2016 5:13 pm UTC

Good news: He doesn't actually know kung fu, so it's not as bad as it could have been.
The biggest number (63 quintillion googols in debt)

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Wed Jul 27, 2016 6:54 pm UTC

Bad news: it still hurts.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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SDK
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby SDK » Wed Jul 27, 2016 7:06 pm UTC

Good news: You've recently been mutated to include Wolverine's healing factor. Your nose stiches itself back into place in seconds.
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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Wed Jul 27, 2016 7:20 pm UTC

Bad news: it still hurts terribly.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Thu Jul 28, 2016 10:05 am UTC

Good news: The healing power restored your body and all your senses to prime condition, and also removed all other afflictions you had!
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Thu Jul 28, 2016 1:21 pm UTC

Bad news: those claws come out at the most inopportune moments and they really hurt.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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phillip1882
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby phillip1882 » Sat Jul 30, 2016 1:22 am UTC

good news: you can defend yourself from any foe.
bitcoin address: 18vbN38FT7XXhazcN8gWichBwzC47MHy5p

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Sat Jul 30, 2016 10:45 am UTC

Bad news: you get arrested for murder and imprisoned for life.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Sableagle
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Sableagle » Sat Jul 30, 2016 11:25 am UTC

Good news: your lawyer successfully argues that "for life" in your case shouldn't be any longer than in anyone else's case, so you get the same "life sentence" as William Calley: 1 day at home with your girlfriend.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Sat Jul 30, 2016 11:56 am UTC

Bad news: you are out of beer.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Queen Arasene
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Queen Arasene » Mon Aug 01, 2016 4:12 pm UTC

Good news: Your girlfriend can entertain you much better than beer.
It's Magic. I ain't gonna explain shit.

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eran_rathan
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby eran_rathan » Mon Aug 01, 2016 6:19 pm UTC

bad news: she just left you for her new girlfriend. You are not invited.
"We have met the enemy, and we are they. Them? We is it. Whatever."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
nɒʜƚɒɿ_nɒɿɘ

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Neil_Boekend
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Re: Good News, Bad News

Postby Neil_Boekend » Mon Aug 01, 2016 7:35 pm UTC

Good news: this delays the start of the "punishment" to when, if ever, you have a new girlfriend.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his


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