xkcd

by **Queen Arasene** » Thu Apr 19, 2012 11:28 am UTC

>Open an Inn, where I can sell the Awesome Muffins to other players and NPC's for PROFIT.

by **orangedragonfire** » Thu Apr 19, 2012 11:56 am UTC

ecluc:
> Build evil lair.

Me:
> Offer cjquines cooperation and cookies if he joins my side.

by **cjquines** » Thu Apr 19, 2012 12:01 pm UTC

ODF, nah! I will never be one with the bad guy!

by **orangedragonfire** » Thu Apr 19, 2012 12:03 pm UTC

But... COOKIES!

by **cjquines** » Thu Apr 19, 2012 12:29 pm UTC

Cookies? I might be able to reconsider this devious offer.
Are they chocolate chip?

by **orangedragonfire** » Thu Apr 19, 2012 12:56 pm UTC

Sure, why not.

by **Snark** » Thu Apr 19, 2012 1:01 pm UTC

> Learn how to do at least one blasted thing right

by **curtis95112** » Thu Apr 19, 2012 1:46 pm UTC

>Gravitationally collapse the universe.

by **kram2301** » Thu Apr 19, 2012 2:01 pm UTC

WUT NOWAI, you will kill all of you. And even worse, you will kill ME!
Or maybe I'll be reborn after that, due to a new big bang? ... I hope?

Also, if you want to cooperate with the bad guy, I fear, I have to take back my cooperation. I can give you Space pancakes, too.

by **cjquines** » Thu Apr 19, 2012 4:26 pm UTC

ODF, I'm allergic to chocolate! Offer down.

EDIT: kram, make it waffles, or I'll take ODF's offer. ODF, if you can make it raisins, I'll join you if kram doesn't offer waffles.

EDIT2: Look, I'm in the waffle vs pancake fight! WAFFLEZ ARE BETTA. (only because they have perfect holes for syrup!)

by **orangedragonfire** » Thu Apr 19, 2012 4:37 pm UTC

I have cookies of all kinds! With or without chocolate, with or without raisin, big and small cookies, with cream or tea or sugar... you get to choose. MUHAHAHHA!

by **cjquines** » Thu Apr 19, 2012 5:18 pm UTC

Cookies... Can't resist… Oh... No... The cookie power...

(suddenly subconscious kicks up)

NO.

I will not join your forces of evil.

I will do what is right.

Not for me, but for JUSTICE!!!

by **orangedragonfire** » Thu Apr 19, 2012 5:46 pm UTC

(sickly honied voice)

Don't you realized that good and evil are a matter of perspective? They are but words that people falsely assume have some deeper meaning. There is no fundamental property of the universe that determines whether something is good or evil; no "gooditrons" or "evilitrons". Cookies, on the other hand, are quite real.

by **Sargon of Akkad** » Thu Apr 19, 2012 7:39 pm UTC

>prepare myself for battle by learning the ultimate punch.

by **matt96** » Thu Apr 19, 2012 7:41 pm UTC

Sargon of Akkad wrote:>prepare myself for battle by learning the falcon punch.

FTFY

by **kram2301** » Thu Apr 19, 2012 8:21 pm UTC

you may have waffles, pancakes or whatever pleases you. I can restructure the fabric of myself to anything.
If you prefer, you can also get black hole muffins or galactic brownies or something.

Is your chocolate allergy a leftover of the previous settings?

by **cjquines** » Fri Apr 20, 2012 3:56 am UTC

Nah, the chocolate allergy just came when I saw the indestructible rock. GM doesn't notice it though.
I'm going with kram. Sorry ODF, maybe we can team up on Nomic? But not here.

Good and evil are distinct. They are the yin and yang that keeps the universe together. Without evil, there will be no good, so evil must be upheld. However, evil and good must be balanced... Whatever.

by **kram2301** » Fri Apr 20, 2012 12:37 pm UTC

ok, then I keep granting my cooperation for now

by **orangedragonfire** » Fri Apr 20, 2012 12:45 pm UTC

eculc wrote:>Retconn my action last turn to be doing a quicksave before orangedragonfire takes control of my mind but after I find out he's the antagonist.

Are you even allowed to try this? After all, you're supposed to be loyal to me, and this is far from loyal.

by **cjquines** » Fri Apr 20, 2012 2:19 pm UTC

ODF, he has a chance every turn to strain against the mind control. And he has a better chance because, maybe, I'm going to roll.

by **Nautilus** » Fri Apr 20, 2012 3:16 pm UTC

> Give up and bite rocks

by **Damarco** » Sat Apr 21, 2012 1:11 am UTC

>Ride a space horse

by **BucklesMcStrap** » Sat Apr 21, 2012 3:05 am UTC

I apologize for not rolling...but the conversation on here was so funny I couldn't bring myself to interrupt! Please forgive me!!!!

Also, unless cjquines agrees to roll tomorrow, I shall be doing so tomorrow. I don't meant to delay the game, but all of this haggling and trying to team up is PRICELESS!!!

by **matt96** » Sat Apr 21, 2012 3:27 am UTC

In the spirit of BucklesMcStraps last post about teaming up, I hereby offer a diplomatic thing for players' mutual advancements (basically we work together) to anyone who is willing to, starting next turn, help me attack the following players/NPCs

BucklesMcStrap, who is completely and entirely unrelated to VelcroMcButton

VelcroMcButton, who iz a TROLLOLOLOL!!!! and is completely and entirely unrelated to BucklesMcStrap, our Senior High Priest GM

For when one decides to delay a roll for the funny team-ups going on, eventually, all will get impatient and turn on the one who refused to roll.

by **cjquines** » Sat Apr 21, 2012 4:36 am UTC

I'm rolling 5 PM Philippine time. (3 AM Mountain Time).
Good luck, My 2d6s are in the microwave with 1s on bottom. (But you didn't hear that from me.)

On a more serious note, I'm using random.org for guaranteed randomness.
Also, on the teaming up... I'll roll those together. Have fun... :twisted:

by **eculc** » Sat Apr 21, 2012 4:37 am UTC

no ODF, I'm mind controlled, not loyal. there's a VERY. DISTINCT. DIFFERENCE. Hopefully one that results in me no longer being mind controlled.

and I'll join up with you matt if I manage to escape mindcontrol.

and to CJ: NOOOOOOOO dont use computerized RNGs! those are only Semi-random!

by **cjquines** » Sat Apr 21, 2012 4:43 am UTC

eculc, that's the point... hehehe...
Seriously though, random.org is really random. I've seen it in action myself.
Rolling... (And making backups)

by **cjquines** » Sat Apr 21, 2012 5:45 am UTC

matt96 wrote:>perform a hard reboot on eculc and load up the last save from before orangedragonfire took over eculc's mind, so eculc will be freed from Orangedragonfire's mindcontrol (orangedragonfire shouldn't get to use the +1 on next rtd as I am not attacking orangedragonfire)

eculc wrote:>Retconn my action last turn to be doing a quicksave before orangedragonfire takes control of my mind but after I find out he's the antagonist.

Roll: 6/3
+ 1
+ 1/1
= 8/4 OH LAWLZ

eculc's mind and biosuit are being rebooted simultaneously... eculc is freed from ODF's spell. matt96 and eculc are now friends. Also, ODF is angered, so eculc "accidentally" shot ODF with the biosuit.

ODF must roll to dodge!

Roll: 1/3
+ 1
= 2/3 OH LAWLZ

ODF is wounded. (- 1 to next turn) And shouts "I WILL BE BACK, ECULC!!!"

matt96 is now eculc's friend! eculc is now freed from mind control! ODF is wounded! (- 1 to next turn)

cjquines wrote:>Cooperate with kram to find out where I am, exactly...

kram2301 wrote:> Grant cooperation while crushing that evil neighbour universe and absorbing its remains.

Roll: 6/5
+ 2/1
= 8/6 OH LAWLZ (3 OH LAWLZ in a row!)

cjquines, with assistance of kram, have pinpointed the exact location, down to the last decimal point: -146.254, +2741.8456, Subterranian Area, Upper Ring, Alien Metropolis, Alien Planet, Nebulon Galaxy, kram2301 Universe. The aliens start worshipping cjquines as their leader, and promise to grant cooperation in all of his actions. (cjquines has a + 1/1 per turn)

kram2301 has excellent success absorbing the evil neighbour universe, ALL the neighbouring universes in fact. All these universes power up kram... kram now has a RING OF THE UNIVERSES (Grants a + 2/2, used on will, charges for 1 turn)

kram2301 gives cjquines the SPACE WAFFLES. (Rolls a second pair of dice when eaten)

cjquines has support of aliens! (+ 1/1 per turn) kram2301 has a RING OF THE UNIVERSES (name should always be in caps lock, grants a + 2/2, used on will, charges for 1 turn) cjquines has SPACE WAFFLES (Rolls a second pair of dice when eaten)

blademan9999 wrote:>Flood the universe with kittens.

Roll: 3/1
+ /1
= 3/2

You flood one part. Apparently, you flooded the part where you are standing on. Kittens are clawing your flesh...

GOOD CLONE OF BLADEMAN9999 must roll to dodge!

Roll: 1/5

The good clone is completely destroyed. The kittens however, found another target, and become an NPC! Blademan9999 also gets a slight bonus from the remains of his clone... (+ 1 on next turn)

Kittens are now an NPC! Blademan9999 has a + 1 on his next turn!

Evangeduld wrote:> Fly into the atmosphere I created...

Roll: 4/3

You flied. Hooray.

Evangeduld is in the atmosphere!

Queen Arasene wrote:>Open an Inn, where I can sell the Awesome Muffins to other players and NPC's for PROFIT.

Roll: 5/3

Queen Arasene has here own wonderful, magical inn called "Queen Arasene's Awesome Muffin Inn" Queen Arasene now has a second action each turn to choose who to sell muffins to.

Queen Arasene has her own inn! Queen Arasene has a second action each turn deciding who to sell muffins to!

orangedragonfire wrote:ecluc:
> Build evil lair.

Me:
> Offer cjquines cooperation and cookies if he joins my side.

Roll: 2/5
+ 1
- 1 (Wounded)
= 2/5

ERROR 507: YOU NO LOGER HAVE CONTROL OF ECULC!

You clumsily offer cjquines cooperation... However, your tone makes it sound like you are going to mind control him! You do however, learn that cjquines is vulnerable to lies... (+ 1 when lying to cjquines)

ODF then goes to his cookie storage, and then laughs maniacally. (+ 1 to all rolls with cookies)

ODF knows that cjquines is vulnerable to lies! (+ 1 when lying to cjquines) ODF has a cookie storage! (+ 1 to all rolls with cookies)

Snark wrote:> Learn how to do at least one blasted thing right

Roll: 5/4

You learn how to do one blasted thing right! So right, that whenever you do this blasted thing, you get a + 1! This blasted thing, is...
Okay, I don't know. (+ 1 on next turn, and every subsequent turn related to that turn in some way)

Snark knows how to do one blasted thing right! (+ 1 on next turn, and every subsequent turn related to that turn in some way)

curtis95112 wrote:>Gravitationally collapse the universe.

Roll: 4/1
+ 1
= 5/1 (OH NOEZ!)

curtis manages to do so. He is however, stopped by KRAM just before the universe is fully collapsed!

kram is now angry at curtis, and kram gave him a terrible weight to carry... (- /1 on every roll, unless removed by kram)

kram is angry at curtis! (- /1 on every roll, unless removed by kram)

Sargon of Akkad wrote:>prepare myself for battle by learning the ultimate punch.

Roll: 6/2
- /1
= 6/1

Congratulations! You now know, not only 1, but FIVE ultimate punches. (+ 2/1 to all punching rolls) You hit yourself though. (badly wounded for 2 turns, any damage will give him a - 1 in the RTD)

Sargon of Akkad knows FIVE ultimate punches! (+ 2/1 to all punching rolls) Sargon of Akkad is badly wounded! (badly wounded for 2 turns, any damage will give him a - 1 in the RTD)

Nautilus wrote:> Give up and bite rocks

Roll: 5/2
+ 1
+ /1
= 6/3

You gave up. You bite rocks. You gave up so hard, that you even gave up biting those rocks.

Nautilus feels like a failure!

Damarco wrote:>Ride a space horse

Roll: 1/2
+ 1/2
= 2/4

You ride a space cow. The space cow is a bit fast though. (+ 1 to next turn involving movement or cows)

Damarco is on a space cow! (+ 1 to next turn involving movement or cows)

BucklesMcStrap wrote:I apologize for not rolling...but the conversation on here was so funny I couldn't bring myself to interrupt! Please forgive me!!!!

Roll: 1/5

We all fail to forgive you, but at least you said sorry, so yeah, you are forgiven.

BucklesMcStrap is forgiven!

NPC Turns

Evil blademan9999 wrote:>Join ODF...

Roll: 5/2

ODF gladly accepts you. He does however, put you into newbie training... (ODF has control over Evil blademan9999)

ODF and Evil blademan9999 have joined forces! (ODF has control over Evil blademan9999)

Space Monkey wrote:>Eat the chocolate coins!

Roll: 4/3

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM! Super Sapien Form EXTENDED!

Space Monkey's Super Sapien Form is EXTENDED!

Space Dragon wrote:>Convince ODF to give Evil blademan9999 a higher rank.

Roll: 6/3

You do it exactly! You convinced him so much that Evil blademan9999 and ODF are now partners! (ODF lost control over Evil blademan9999)

ODF and Evil blademan9999 are now partners! (ODF lost control over Evil blademan9999)

VelcroMcButton wrote:>Convince everyone that I am not an evil twin of BucklesMcStrap.

Roll: 2/6

You fail to do so. You, however, have created success from failure! Your lying skills are now improved! (+ 1/1 to all lying turns)

VelcroMcButton is a great liar! (+ 1/1 to all lying turns)

Kittens wrote:>Thank our creator, blademan9999.

Roll: 6/3

You thank him SO much, that he now loves you! Your cuteness powers are up! (+ 2/1 to all cute rolls)

Kittens are now extra cute! (+ 2/1 to all cute rolls)

by **cjquines** » Sat Apr 21, 2012 6:02 am UTC

RANDOMNESS ROLL:
Roll: 3/6

There's going to be a baking contest next turn! ODF HAS to bake cookies and Queen Arasene HAS to bake muffins. Winner shall be decided on the next randomness roll. Participants must include a baking aspect to next turn.

Rules to baking contest:

Spoiler:

Players:

Spoiler:

NPC List:

Spoiler:

Events:

Spoiler:

by **cjquines** » Sat Apr 21, 2012 6:07 am UTC

So, uh, how did I do?

>Bake a cake for the baking contest.

by **curtis95112** » Sat Apr 21, 2012 11:50 am UTC

>Bake Kram into a baguette

by **orangedragonfire** » Sat Apr 21, 2012 12:18 pm UTC

> Bake delicious cookies in order to lure people into my service.

by **Queen Arasene** » Sat Apr 21, 2012 12:34 pm UTC

> Bake a peppercake house to improve the marketing of my Space Muffins.

> Sells Muffins to Evil Blademan9999, so he will do everything I say........

by **Sargon of Akkad** » Sat Apr 21, 2012 12:46 pm UTC

> Bake cookies by punching all the ingredients so hard that they form delicious cookies.

And cjquines- You did great.

by **Snark** » Sat Apr 21, 2012 2:07 pm UTC

> Use my banana to bake banana nut bread.

by **cjquines** » Sat Apr 21, 2012 2:32 pm UTC

Sargon of Akkad, that touched my heart. :wink:

by **Snark** » Sat Apr 21, 2012 2:34 pm UTC

I also liked the roll, though it may have had something to do with my rolling a 5.

by **eculc** » Sat Apr 21, 2012 10:35 pm UTC

EDIT: DERP, ddn't notice the baking contest part.

>Modify my weapons to fire bullet-shaped fruitcakes (does that count?). then shoot ODF.

by **matt96** » Sat Apr 21, 2012 10:37 pm UTC

ecluc, you should probably solve the puzzle of how to bake the perfect (insert preferred baked good here), then I can work with you to follow out the solution you came up with, so we can win and Orangedragonfire doesn't get the prize!

by **Damarco** » Sun Apr 22, 2012 12:59 am UTC

>Whilst riding my space bovine, bake a single triple bacon cookie.

Everyone knows that without assistance of a noble riding animal only double bacon cookies are possible at best.

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