xkcd

by **Millumi** » Mon May 14, 2012 2:40 pm UTC

This game is kind of like corrupt/misquote a wish in RPG form.
So, in this game you can choose to post 3 ways
If you put italic text on, you can be the narrator, and move the story in whatever direction you want. For example, you can make a person lose the lamp in between wishes, and have it go to someone else. You can create any setting you want, hell, if you don't like what is happening, you can just put "...and then they woke up."
You can be the genie, when you make a post as the genie, put your message in bold. The genie can grant, corrupt, and mishear wishes. If you mishear it, say what the genie thought he heard.

And finally, you can be a normal person. You can make wishes or try and get back the lamp when you lose it.
Anybody can play as any character.

Now to start the game:
In the deserts of ancient Egypt, a small excavation team digs up a dirty old lamp, one of them decides to send it back to their family at home, but before reaching it's destination, the box is opened by Joe Smith the mailman, who accidentally rubs the lamp, summoning the genie.

by **orangedragonfire** » Mon May 14, 2012 3:13 pm UTC

Hear me, Mortal! I have been summoned to grant your wishes - but choose your words carefully, for wishes do often have unintended consequenses.

by **Badion** » Mon May 14, 2012 3:51 pm UTC

I wish for the Genie to be a woman!

by **Adam H** » Mon May 14, 2012 7:12 pm UTC

Foolish Joe Smith could have wished any one of many wonderful wishes. Instead, he arbitrarily chose the one thing that would certainly result in his doom. For, though the knowledge is now lost to the pitiful mortals that wander this planet, female Genies are among the most treacherous, most deceitful, and most evil of all the ancient Djinn. Until this very day, they had been locked away deep under the crust of the earth. Truly, Joe Smith the Mailman has consigned himself, along with all his fellow humans, to a horrible fate.

by **Millumi** » Tue May 15, 2012 4:51 am UTC

Joe Smith: Hmm... Maybe I should cure cancer... NAH! I wish that all women would do whatever I told them to.

by **[username]** » Tue May 15, 2012 5:01 am UTC

No.

As a side note, are we allowed more than one personality in one post? Are we allowed more than one personality in the thread?

by **Badion** » Tue May 15, 2012 12:25 pm UTC

@Adam, Djinn? read any dave duncan lately?

by **Millumi** » Tue May 15, 2012 8:30 pm UTC

[username] wrote:No.

As a side note, are we allowed more than one personality in one post? Are we allowed more than one personality in the thread?

In one post, no, in the thread, yeah

Joe Smith: No? Why not?

by **Adam H** » Tue May 15, 2012 9:03 pm UTC

I'm a woman genie now. I take shit from no one.

by **Millumi** » Thu May 17, 2012 5:48 am UTC

Adam H wrote:I'm a woman genie now. I take shit from no one.

Joe Smith: DAMMIT! I wish you were a man again.

by **orangedragonfire** » Thu May 17, 2012 9:13 am UTC

Hmm... no.

by **[username]** » Thu May 17, 2012 9:15 am UTC

Joe Smith: Wait, what the hell kind of a Genie RPG is this? Narrator, introduce another genie for me. This one's crap.

by **orangedragonfire** » Thu May 17, 2012 9:18 am UTC

Very well. You find a new lamp in the sand.

by **[username]** » Thu May 17, 2012 9:56 am UTC

Behold the amazing might of Ahlech, the Genie of Wealth and Royalty! Women and children tremble in my midst, and only the bravest of men can behold my awesomeness.

Mortal, what is it you beseech of me?

by **matt96** » Thu May 17, 2012 10:05 am UTC

I wish for my body to be infused with pure essence of awesomeness, such that I might be worthy of even simply looking at you please don't turn me into bacon please don't turn me into bacon please don't turn me into bacon please don't turn me into bacon

by **orangedragonfire** » Fri May 18, 2012 12:09 pm UTC

Very well, if that is your wish. You are now infused with the pure essence of Awesomeness. Your every action must be awesome, so you can never again do mundane things... like eating, drinking, sleeping and so on.

by **Adam H** » Fri May 18, 2012 8:07 pm UTC

Joe Smith was puzzled by this. It seemed to him like dying of thirst or hunger would be just as un-awesome as eating or drinking. However, he didn't ask Ahlech the Genie to clarify because he was too embarrassed. Instead, he asked for a new wish - one that would fix the mess he's made of things thus far.

by **orangedragonfire** » Sat May 19, 2012 8:27 pm UTC

I wish that things would go back to the way they were just before I made my first wish to the first genie.

by **[username]** » Mon May 21, 2012 1:04 am UTC

Unfortunately for you, mortal, that would be an incredibly mundane solution to an already borderline-mundane situation! Any being infused with the essence of Awesomeness would know this, even a simple human like yourself. Your reward comes with an unreturnable price - and a completely awesome one at that - me!

Mwa ha haar!

by **matt96** » Mon May 21, 2012 1:07 am UTC

I wish an awesome explosion would create a temporal causality loop reverting things back to the way they were before I met you!

by **[username]** » Tue May 22, 2012 11:03 am UTC

I will do as you wish, but firstly know this: As a punishment and curse for forcing me to remove myself from existence, your wealth will be greatly diminished for the rest of your days! Hear me, Mortal, when I say, that a Genie is not to be messed with. Especially one who has a cool title like "Genie of Wealth and Royalty".

by **orangedragonfire** » Sat May 26, 2012 5:39 pm UTC

Time and Space warp...

In the deserts of ancient Egypt, a small excavation team digs up a dirty old lamp, one of them decides to send it back to their family at home, but before reaching it's destination, the box is opened by Joe Smith the extremely poor beggar, who accidentally rubs the lamp, summoning the genie.

by **Rosewinsall** » Fri Jul 06, 2012 5:25 pm UTC

Joe Smith: Wow, a genie! Can I wish for more wishes?

by **Adam H** » Fri Jul 06, 2012 5:30 pm UTC

You wish to know whether you can have more wishes? Very well, wish granted.

That was your only wish, though.

by **Lawsome** » Fri Jul 06, 2012 6:11 pm UTC

But you didn't say whether or not I could have more wishes!

by **Adam H** » Fri Jul 06, 2012 6:14 pm UTC

You only wished to know, and now you know. Foolish mortal.

by **Pjotr** » Sat Jul 07, 2012 9:46 am UTC

But.. but.. All the classical stories describe genies as granting three wishes, or even more. I'm going to sue you for false advertising, Genie!

by **orangedragonfire** » Sat Jul 07, 2012 10:31 pm UTC

You are messing with forces you do not comprehend, mortal. The eternal court is not easily swayed by feeble arguments such as yours.

by **Lawsome** » Sun Jul 08, 2012 8:54 am UTC

MY WISH WAS TO KNOW WHETHER I COULD HAVE HAD MORE WISHES! You didn't tell me whether I could or not!

by **orangedragonfire** » Sun Jul 08, 2012 10:12 am UTC

Oh. Well... yes and no. No, you usually cannot have more wishes, and wishing for more wishes just wastes your wish. But as I... forgot... to grant your wish for a while, I do owe you another wish.

by **Lawsome** » Sun Jul 08, 2012 1:25 pm UTC

I wish for more genies! (Each one capable and willing to grant me more wishes)

by **Adam H** » Mon Jul 09, 2012 6:10 pm UTC

Joe Smith realized the folly of his wish just before 1 million brass genie lamps materialized all around him, crushing him under an immense weight. Just before the moment of death, he managed to croak out a single wish...

OT:

Spoiler:

by **Rosewinsall** » Mon Jul 09, 2012 6:19 pm UTC

I wish I was immortal.

by **orangedragonfire** » Mon Jul 09, 2012 8:00 pm UTC

Joe Smith is now immortal, but still buried beneath a million brass lamps. The weight prevents him from moving. This is going to be a very long eternity for him...

by **Rosewinsall** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 2:41 am UTC

Thousands of years later in modern Egypt a young woman by the name of Sofia Blanchett comes across the lamps whilst roaming through the desert one day...

by **Pjotr** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 9:39 am UTC

She pick one up and blows the dust off it. Delicately wetting a finger she rubs clean a patch of metal..

by **Lawsome** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 3:50 pm UTC

A blue apparition in tracksuit bottoms and a hoodie appears before her...

Sup bro, I'm your genie I guess. (Worst freakin' work experience placement ever)

by **Adam H** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 4:08 pm UTC

My name's not Bro, it's Sofia! Are all these lamps full of genies?

by **Lawsome** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 4:57 pm UTC

Dunno, I guess, but most of 'em are dead now. Turns out if ya leave a genie for too long it dies. I'm not a genie, not officially, I'm only a kid, my boss is one of the few genies left alive. He's gonna be so pissed off I took this customer away from him, probably best, this way he dies!

The genie then pulls out a fag and begins to smoke it.

by **Adam H** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 5:41 pm UTC

This is some intense stuff. Wish I had a fag to smoke, too.

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