xkcd

by **orangedragonfire** » Sat Jun 02, 2012 9:01 pm UTC

REIGNITE

I use my heat to sustain a fusion chain reaction, which further increases the temperature, turning the entire planet into a blazing inferno within seconds. Everything will be fused into iron by the time this is over.

by **SlyReaper** » Sat Jun 02, 2012 9:02 pm UTC

I emigrate to Mars.

by **eculc** » Sat Jun 02, 2012 11:39 pm UTC

I put on a spacesuit and remove the earth's atmosphere. not only does this put out ODF due to lack of oxygen, it also kills everyone on the planet.

by **SlyReaper** » Sun Jun 03, 2012 12:02 am UTC

Thank goodness I moved to Mars when I did then.

I erect a hugely powerful forcefield around Slydonia (which is what I renamed Mars to), to prevent any similar fate befalling my planet.

by **orangedragonfire** » Sun Jun 03, 2012 12:28 am UTC

A nuclear fire does not need oxygen to burn. I keep happily burning; and look for new planets to move to once I'm done with Earth.

by **eculc** » Mon Jun 04, 2012 4:10 am UTC

orangedragonfire wrote:A nuclear fire does not need oxygen to burn. I keep happily burning; and look for new planets to move to once I'm done with Earth.

I ask the question "wtf is a nuclear fire?"

by **ShortChelsea** » Mon Jun 04, 2012 3:55 pm UTC

I follow everyone to Mars, making sure to keep shooting Badion's good hand.

by **SlyReaper** » Mon Jun 04, 2012 4:10 pm UTC

Guys, remember that whole thing about me putting up a planet-wide forcefield around Mars? You can't come here. Go find your own planet.

Also, it's not Mars, it's Slydonia.

I begin construction of my giant laser beam atop Olympus Mons.

by **Badion** » Mon Jun 04, 2012 4:42 pm UTC

I grab a hold of everyone's hands and pee on the electric fence.

by **ShortChelsea** » Tue Jun 05, 2012 1:44 pm UTC

I beam myself to pluto and wait.

by **Lawsome** » Tue Jun 05, 2012 6:17 pm UTC

Respawn.

I respawn inside sly, killing us both.

Respawn.

I dig a hole and hide.

by **Badion** » Tue Jun 05, 2012 6:19 pm UTC

I over water you like a plant in my garden.

by **SlyReaper** » Tue Jun 05, 2012 6:36 pm UTC

Lawsome wrote:Respawn.

I respawn inside sly, killing us both.

Respawn.

I dig a hole and hide.

I respawn inside Lawsome, killing only Lawsome. I warp spacetime around myself in such a way as to prevent that ever happening again.

by **Badion** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 5:25 pm UTC

I kick Sly in the balls.

by **SlyReaper** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 5:30 pm UTC

I kick Badion in the oblate spheroids.

by **Badion** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 5:40 pm UTC

luckily I have prolate spheroids and you missed them thanks to that fact.

I grab a can of who-hash and chuck it at NP.

by **darknut** » Thu Jun 07, 2012 8:02 am UTC

i easily catch the can
You throw like a monkey, your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!

by **Badion** » Thu Jun 07, 2012 2:09 pm UTC

Bah, i ignore your misconceptions of my family members and hurl a book on taxonomy at you. Using both hands to improve my accuracy and strength.

by **Lawsome** » Thu Jun 07, 2012 2:12 pm UTC

Respawn

I throw oil on the book as it flies, then set it alight before it reaches it's target.

by **orangedragonfire** » Thu Jun 07, 2012 2:47 pm UTC

Respawn (for good measure, since I'm not sure if I'm alive)

I hide behind a small flower.

by **Badion** » Fri Jun 08, 2012 1:55 pm UTC

I infect you with the flu.

by **SlyReaper** » Fri Jun 08, 2012 2:13 pm UTC

In an act of unfathomable charity, I lower the forcefield around Mars and invite everyone in.

by **eculc** » Fri Jun 08, 2012 3:50 pm UTC

I move to mars

by **Badion** » Fri Jun 08, 2012 5:22 pm UTC

With the force field down, I nuke the crap out the planet. I mean just a whole bunch of nukes. like a lot.

by **Lawsome** » Fri Jun 08, 2012 9:04 pm UTC

I eat a cheese cracker and somehow ODF dies

by **darknut** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 6:55 pm UTC

i duck the flaming book, then stick a fridge magnet on badions head

by **SlyReaper** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 11:14 pm UTC

eculc wrote:I move to mars

Since nobody else seems to be following you (you being the only one silly enough to not suspect a trap), I detonate Mars now. From my vantage point on Ganymede, though a telescope, I chuckle as the red planet is torn apart by the explosion, and reduced to small hot fragments of rock and dust flying out into space.

by **WarDaft** » Sat Jun 09, 2012 11:24 pm UTC

I acquire an MTD6 Smart Bomb and activate it.

I'm not sure how many people were alive before, but there should be considerably less now.

by **Lawsome** » Sun Jun 10, 2012 10:32 am UTC

SlyReaper wrote:
eculc wrote:I move to mars

Since nobody else seems to be following you (you being the only one silly enough to not suspect a trap), I detonate Mars now. From my vantage point on Ganymede, though a telescope, I chuckle as the red planet is torn apart by the explosion, and reduced to small hot fragments of rock and dust flying out into space.

You clearly forgot about our ban on detonators, I send you to jail, you may not pass go, you may not collect 200 pounds.

by **Badion** » Mon Jun 11, 2012 2:33 pm UTC

I remove the magnet and, despite the red mark on my forehead, plunge headfirst into a nudist colony.

I emerge from said colony with the knowledge of how to make black holes. I proceed to Texas where there exists two Starbucks across the street from each other. I order a tall mocha frappaccino from one and a tall mocha frappachino from the other. the existence of two perfectly identical objects in the same time and place causes a black hole to form. GOOD LUCK SUCKERS!

by **SlyReaper** » Mon Jun 11, 2012 8:59 pm UTC

Lawsome wrote:
SlyReaper wrote:
eculc wrote:I move to mars

Since nobody else seems to be following you (you being the only one silly enough to not suspect a trap), I detonate Mars now. From my vantage point on Ganymede, though a telescope, I chuckle as the red planet is torn apart by the explosion, and reduced to small hot fragments of rock and dust flying out into space.

You clearly forgot about our ban on detonators, I send you to jail, you may not pass go, you may not collect 200 pounds.

I detonate the ban on detonators, I detonate the bars on the jail, and then I detonate the very fabric of reality itself.

by **Lawsome** » Tue Jun 12, 2012 6:58 am UTC

As i mentioned before, there are no detonators in the jail, I already checked. But seeing as the blips in reality is causing everyone to explode I'm not too worried.

RESPAWN

I quickly go to a parallel universe without a jail or holes in reality.

by **Badion** » Thu Jun 14, 2012 1:06 pm UTC

I throw a tall mocha frap at Lawsome. there WAS NO whipped cream!

by **orangedragonfire** » Mon Jul 09, 2012 8:33 pm UTC

RESPAWN in case I'm dead

I release the Dementors.

by **SlyReaper** » Mon Jul 09, 2012 8:41 pm UTC

I flick orange's forehead.

by **orangedragonfire** » Mon Jul 09, 2012 8:49 pm UTC

I pull out a sledgehammer, and break it.

"This", I tell SlyReaper, "Is what I will do to you if you ever touch me again."

by **SlyReaper** » Mon Jul 09, 2012 9:05 pm UTC

I flick orange's forehead again, but harder this time.

by **flicky1991** » Mon Jul 09, 2012 9:27 pm UTC

I run in from nowhere and uppercut SlyReaper on the chin.

by **orangedragonfire** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 9:59 pm UTC

I break SlyReaper like I broke the hammer. Never let it be said that I do not keep my promises.

Then I go find some ice for my sore forehead.

by **SlyReaper** » Wed Jul 11, 2012 5:49 am UTC

I flick orange's forehead one final time, but with the force of an industrial pile driver.

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