Choose Your Own Adventure Game

For all your silly time-killing forum games.

Moderators: jestingrabbit, Moderators General, Prelates

User avatar
Mittins
Posts: 137
Joined: Wed Jul 04, 2007 2:52 pm UTC
Location: Canada

Choose Your Own Adventure Game

Postby Mittins » Tue Jul 31, 2007 3:43 pm UTC

Okay, so here's how it works:

I'll write a little blurb that starts off a story. Then when I get to the end there's a choice (say anywhere from 2-4 options). The next poster makes a choice out of the options and writes the next section of the story also ending in a choice (and so on and so forth).

Example wrote:Me: You had never seen a keg that size before. It seemed to be bulging with cool, delicious ale.

Do you:
(a) Sit down and have a pint.
(b) Keep your assault rifled ready and scan the room with your wary eyes.

Next Poster: You choose (a). As soon as you sit down and whip out your ale mug, 14 identically dressed ninjas descend stealthily from the ceiling. Though they approach you slowly, their blades spinning and humming about their heads, you feel no fear. You had anticipated this.

Do you:
(a) Offer them a drink!
(b) Pretend not to notice, but slowly reach for your .50 caliber pistol.
(c) Break down and wail for your mommy like a child.



Some general guidelines/notes:
-I don't know if a thread like this already exists - sorry if it does!
-Try to be humorous and creative.. don't just be like "You reload your mag and cut them down like dogs and then find some chiken and eat it bcuz yur hungry [sic]."
-There's no limit in how long your continuation of the story can be, but be reasonable.

Alright then, I'll start us off:

You wake up in the pale moonlight with your body completely drenched in sweat. Immediately, your finely tuned senses detect something terribly wrong. You sit up and gaze about the clearing. There are no birds chirping, no crickets, no owls hooting. Even the wind feels subdued. Across the clearing you can just make out two small, red eyes gazing at you unblinkingly. That must be it, you think to yourself. That must be the Knomenstaag.

Do you:
(a) Slowly stand up and walk towards the beast.
(b) Reach for your bow and quiver.
(c) Begin to sing the soft, haunting melody of the Knomenstaag friendship song.
(d) Lie back down and pretend to be sleeping.
Randall wrote:Some said the world should be in Perl;
Some said in Lisp...

User avatar
Cheese
and spam. (Euggh)
Posts: 3909
Joined: Mon Jul 02, 2007 2:04 pm UTC
Location: ¿burning you?

Postby Cheese » Tue Jul 31, 2007 4:35 pm UTC

You decide on (c), Begin to sing the soft, haunting melody of the Knomenstaag friendship song.
You haven't done this song since manic adventurer class all those years ago... You hope you've got it right. Slowly, what you think is the Knomenstaag comes towards you, but when it gets into the clearing you realise what a mistake singing that dreadful melody was... You look upon what is definitely not the Knomenstaag, it's:

a) A werewolf
b) Your girlfriend
c) Nothing, you're having a bad trip on LSD
d) Gone!

PS> great game idea!
hermaj wrote:No-one. Will. Be. Taking. Cheese's. Spot.
Spoiler:
LE4dGOLEM wrote:Cheese is utterly correct on all fronts.
SecondTalon wrote:That thing that Cheese just said. Do that.
Meaux_Pas wrote:I hereby disagree and declare Cheese to be brilliant.
Image

User avatar
Zohar
COMMANDER PORN
Posts: 8023
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2007 8:45 pm UTC
Location: Denver

Postby Zohar » Tue Jul 31, 2007 8:25 pm UTC

It's d) gone.

The thing just vanished into thin air! You don't really understand what's going on and get up to search your surroundings. You see a small bell lying on the floor but when you reach for it, it disappears as well.

You reach for your backpack and that disappears as well. It seems anything you touch does that. You become hungry and spot an apple tree.

Will you:
a) Try and bite off an apple using only your mouth.
b) Slam into the tree as hard as you can, trying to make a few apples fall to the ground.
c) Search for something to kill because you're such a manly man.
d) Touch yourself.
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

User avatar
Mittins
Posts: 137
Joined: Wed Jul 04, 2007 2:52 pm UTC
Location: Canada

Postby Mittins » Tue Jul 31, 2007 8:51 pm UTC

You begin to d) touch yourself.

Again thinking back to your manic adventurer class so many years ago, you recall the hypnotic powers of the fabled Knomenstaag. "It must have hypnotized me while I looked into its eyes" you think. "This must be a hallucination!" Half-remembering your lessons with Old Ruben you vaguely recall that adrenaline can often dispel the Knomenstaag's hallucinogenic abilities. As you grope yourself, you feel the adrenaline rushing through your body. Your surroundings begin to sharpen, and once again the Knomenstaag comes into view. It is humongous and terrible - half wolf, half scorpion.
It is prowling around as is speaks directly into your mind, "Why have you disturbed my forest, human?"

You say:
(a) My father is ill with Stiff-Man's disease! I need a Knomenstaag's poison in order to concoct the medicine. Please help me!
(b) My tribe requires me to wear your teeth on a necklace to prove my right of passage into manhood! Prepare to die, beast!
(c) I am a naturalist. I wish only to observe and document, please let me stay peaceably!
Randall wrote:Some said the world should be in Perl;
Some said in Lisp...

User avatar
Forthur
Posts: 163
Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2007 8:19 pm UTC
Location: Behind a computer, as always.
Contact:

Postby Forthur » Tue Jul 31, 2007 9:38 pm UTC

You choose (c) I am a naturalist. I wish only to observe and document, please let me stay peaceably!

The Knomenstaag glances to the edge of the clearing, where you can barely make out what must be the remains of a previous unfortunate naturalist.
He does not look like he died a happy man.
Guessing your fear correctly, the monster laughs as he approaches you.

You:
(a) reach for your photocamera
(b) reach for your torchlight
(c) reach for your bow and arrow
(d) reach for your gun
(e) wet your pants
Life's biggest adventures are the dreams you try to make real.

User avatar
dbsmith
Posts: 229
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2007 3:52 am UTC

Postby dbsmith » Wed Aug 01, 2007 1:50 am UTC

(a) Grabbing your camera, you flip on the flash mode and hold it up to your eyes. You aim so the Knomenstaag is dead center in your viewfinder. He stops, and gives you an undecipherable look. Then, he smiles, fangs appearing in a toothy grin. In your mind, you hear "You don't want to do that." "Why not?" you reply.

He says:
(a) "Because if you use that to strike me down, I will become more powerful than ever before."
(b) "If you take my picture, something horrendous happens to my soul...."
(c) "I haven't polished my teeth yet...."
(d) "Because I think you'd rather photograph what's behind you."

User avatar
Forthur
Posts: 163
Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2007 8:19 pm UTC
Location: Behind a computer, as always.
Contact:

Postby Forthur » Wed Aug 01, 2007 7:05 am UTC

(d) "Because I think you'd rather photograph what's behind you."

Not falling for that age-old trick, you press the button. The flash is startingly bright in this moonlit scene and leaves afterimages on your retinas. However, the Knomenstaag runs off howling, clawing at his bleeding eyes.
A soft beep-beep tells you the batteries of your photocamera are low.

You:
(a) chase the Knomenstaag
(b) replace the batteries on your camera
(c) wait until your night vision is restored
(d) check out the remains of the other unfortunate guy
(e) remember to look behind you to see if it wasn't a trick
Life's biggest adventures are the dreams you try to make real.

User avatar
UmbrageOfSnow
Not Fully Human
Posts: 354
Joined: Sun Apr 22, 2007 7:06 am UTC
Location: Insomnia Island
Contact:

Postby UmbrageOfSnow » Wed Aug 01, 2007 7:15 am UTC

You (e) remember to look behind you to see if it wasn't really a trick.

You are a smart adventurer and it's a good thing you took that course on common adventure errors, because standing behind you is a vampire. Of course everyone knows vampires don't show up on film. Everyone except that recently blind and soulless Knomenstaag anyway. Don't these monsters know anything? But it really is too bad, because she is a hot vampire, dressed all in leather. You really wish you could take a picture, to keep in that special bedside drawer for lonely nights. Getting your mind back to the matter at hand you:

(a)Try taking a picture anyway, in hopes that hot vampires show up, or that she's a fake.
(b)Turn around and run after the Knomenstaag, even hot vampires are scary.
(c)Look around for a convenient stake-like piece of wood.
(d)Try out the new pick-up line your best friend gave you last night at the bar.
yellie wrote:Confession: I just had to look up the word ubiquitous because I kept seeing it all over the place and had no idea what it meant.

User avatar
Mittins
Posts: 137
Joined: Wed Jul 04, 2007 2:52 pm UTC
Location: Canada

Postby Mittins » Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:25 pm UTC

You (d) try out the new pick-up line your best friend have you last night at the bar.

"You must be tired," you say. The vampire's eyes widen in surprise. "Why?" she asks with incredulity think in her voice. You smile and say with absolute confidence "Because you've been running through my head all night."

She pauses slightly before bursting out in ruckus laughter. Bending over, clutching her gut, she howls and beats her knee. Straightening once more she looks at you through tearful eyes, her smile revealing a row of perilously sharp teeth. "He told me you were quick, he did," she says. "Oh, don't worry, I'm not going to eat you!" she quickly added after noticing your blood-drained face. "He told me to bring you, quick as a wink, to his house." Let's go!

Do you:
(a) Follow the beautiful vampire into the woods, away from the clearing.
(b) Call out to her "Wait! Can't we wait until morning?"
(c) Reach for your crucifix - you can't trust this hell-spawn!
(d) Begin to undo your belt, approach her slowly.
Randall wrote:Some said the world should be in Perl;
Some said in Lisp...

User avatar
Cheese
and spam. (Euggh)
Posts: 3909
Joined: Mon Jul 02, 2007 2:04 pm UTC
Location: ¿burning you?

Postby Cheese » Wed Aug 01, 2007 5:53 pm UTC

You decide on (d), Begin to undo your belt, approach her slowly.

You see that she has turned around, and is looking at the dead naturalist, as you did before her. Slowly, and as quietly as you can, you remove your belt-buckle, a huge wooden thing that is sharpened at the end.
To keep her off-guard, you say "I would like to pierce you with something of mine that is just below my waist...". As she turns around, you quickly thrust upwards with the stake, through her heart.
"Arrrrrgh!", she cries, changing in death back to her natural form, a hideously ugly beast. As the re-dead corpse hits the ground, it turns to dust, and scatters everywhere.
Sure now that the area is clear of Hell-spawn, you:

a) Make a fire and try to sleep for the night.
b) Go exploring some more.
c) Bury the naturalist, and see if they were carrying anything.
d) Phone home, to let them know you're safe.
hermaj wrote:No-one. Will. Be. Taking. Cheese's. Spot.
Spoiler:
LE4dGOLEM wrote:Cheese is utterly correct on all fronts.
SecondTalon wrote:That thing that Cheese just said. Do that.
Meaux_Pas wrote:I hereby disagree and declare Cheese to be brilliant.
Image

User avatar
Forthur
Posts: 163
Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2007 8:19 pm UTC
Location: Behind a computer, as always.
Contact:

Postby Forthur » Wed Aug 01, 2007 7:00 pm UTC

c) Bury the naturalist, and see if they were carrying anything.

Having played way too much RPGs, you decide to loot the corpse. The only things you find are a complex clockwork device (size of a book) with numerous levers and dials and a single gauge (0% - 100%), and a businesscard in his otherwise semi-digested wallet. The card says "Dave Ettenborg, naturalist. You call, we explore!". At the back of the card is a series of numbers.

You:
(a) randomly twerk 'n fiddle with the device
(b) finally make a fire and try to get some sleep
(c) ponder on the meaning of the numbers
(d) walk around restlessly for the next hour, gathering rocks and sticks, and macgyvering things that can be used as a weapon against any other monsters still lurking out there
Life's biggest adventures are the dreams you try to make real.

User avatar
Forthur
Posts: 163
Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2007 8:19 pm UTC
Location: Behind a computer, as always.
Contact:

Postby Forthur » Wed Aug 01, 2007 7:04 pm UTC

@mittins: Great game idea!
Life's biggest adventures are the dreams you try to make real.

User avatar
Cheese
and spam. (Euggh)
Posts: 3909
Joined: Mon Jul 02, 2007 2:04 pm UTC
Location: ¿burning you?

Postby Cheese » Wed Aug 01, 2007 7:17 pm UTC

You choose to (a), randomly twerk and fiddle with the device.

After picking up the device and examining it, you decide that it might be useful to randomly twerk and fiddle. You find a small button on the underside of it, and, using your handy pen, manage to depress it. Instantly, the gauge spins from 50% to 99%, and you are thrown backwards...

When you open your eyes, are you:
a) exactly where you started, but scratched and bruised
b) in what looks like heaven, with clouds and angels
c) in what looks like hell, with demons and lava
d) somewhere shiny and metallic, with lots of flashing lights?
hermaj wrote:No-one. Will. Be. Taking. Cheese's. Spot.
Spoiler:
LE4dGOLEM wrote:Cheese is utterly correct on all fronts.
SecondTalon wrote:That thing that Cheese just said. Do that.
Meaux_Pas wrote:I hereby disagree and declare Cheese to be brilliant.
Image

User avatar
dbsmith
Posts: 229
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2007 3:52 am UTC

Postby dbsmith » Wed Aug 01, 2007 9:36 pm UTC

You are (b) in what looks like heaven, with clouds and angels.

Luckily, the clouds appear to be solid, saving you from plummeting back down to earth. A glowing figure, shining so brightly you must shield your eyes, floats down to you with pearly white wings. Her face is familiar....very familiar. "Princess Di???" you exclaim. "Yes, but there is no time for that now. You must listen very carefully....You have met with our late agent, Dave Ettenborg yes? You have the device?"

"Right here" you reply, trying not to look at her chest too obviously.
"We have an important task for you, the fate of most of mankind may depend on it. You must...."
(a) "Use you device to descend into hell, battle the legions of minions there, and steal something from right under Lucifer's very nose for us"
(b) "KILL THE PRESIDENT!"
(c) "Bring me some Chinese, there's naught but wine and bread to eat up here."
(d) "Convince a fallen angel to rejoin the side of good."

User avatar
UmbrageOfSnow
Not Fully Human
Posts: 354
Joined: Sun Apr 22, 2007 7:06 am UTC
Location: Insomnia Island
Contact:

Postby UmbrageOfSnow » Wed Aug 01, 2007 11:08 pm UTC

You must (b) kill the president!

"You see, he and the other members of the Free Masons/Bonesmen/Illuminati have been systematically hunting down all the supernatural beings on the planet. Including even the most secretive mutants. We were trying to be subtle, but this latest murder has made it clear they need to be taught a harsher lesson."

"What was that about mutants?" you ask.
"Oh. Well you see, due to our constant inbreeding, many members of the royal families of Europe have developed mutations like my wings, or Prince Harry's psychic powers. Dr. Ettenborg was making a study of supernatural beings and had accumulated evidence of the Invisible Sasquatch and the deadly Knomenstaag's that attacked you. His revolutionary device allows for communication with the dead (and only cost him 10 easy payments of $19.95), but use it wisely, abusing it will draw all kinds of unwanted attention. You don't want to be haunted by the spirit of Anna Nicole Smith do you? "
With that she snaps her fingers and you wake up lying in the clearing, slightly dizzy. After brushing yourself off you:

(a)Decide to head back to civilization as soon as possible to get started on this quest of yours.
(b)Decide to head back to civilization as soon as possible so you don't have to spend the night in these crazy woods.
(c)Gather firewood and potential weapons and settle down for the night.
(d)Go in search of a stiff drink. There has to be a bar around here somewhere, that vampire was dressed way too slutty for the standard forest social scene.
yellie wrote:Confession: I just had to look up the word ubiquitous because I kept seeing it all over the place and had no idea what it meant.

User avatar
ArchangelShrike
Rodan's Title
Posts: 1533
Joined: Sun Apr 01, 2007 8:39 am UTC
Location: Waikiki

Postby ArchangelShrike » Thu Aug 02, 2007 4:58 am UTC

You (d)Go in search of a stiff drink. There has to be a bar around here somewhere, that vampire was dressed way too slutty for the standard forest social scene.

Moving from the newly dug grave to your starting position, you look about for the vampire corpse. Remembering that vampires dissolve into dust, and that vampire dust is worth 100 gold pieces a ounce, you slap yourself for forgetting to collect some. The faint light from the stars show a path through the trees, and you see a light on at the end of the path.

Walking down the path, you see a bar with various creatures entering and leaving, such as spriggans, oni, dwarves, treants, wolves, and elves. You:

a)Prep another pickup line, in case you find someone to take home and enter the bar.
b)Hide in a bush and watch the bar for a few moments.
c)Walk up to the bartender and order a tall, stiff one.
d)Pinch yourself to make sure you aren't hypnotized.

User avatar
Forthur
Posts: 163
Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2007 8:19 pm UTC
Location: Behind a computer, as always.
Contact:

Postby Forthur » Thu Aug 02, 2007 11:18 am UTC

d)Pinch yourself to make sure you aren't hypnotized.

Ouch! Nope. You seem to be in complete control of your body, and this apparently isn't a dream.

You:
(a) prep another pickup line, in case you find someone to take home and enter the bar
(b) hide in a bush and watch the bar for a few moments
(c) walk up to the bartender and order a tall, stiff one
(d) pinch again (you masochist!)
Life's biggest adventures are the dreams you try to make real.

User avatar
Maseiken
The Candylawyer
Posts: 2827
Joined: Sat May 19, 2007 11:13 am UTC

Postby Maseiken » Thu Aug 02, 2007 11:41 am UTC

You (c) walk up to the bartender and order a tall, stiff one,
He looks you up and down and raises an eyebrow, but casually gestures to the back room, saying, "They're plenty stiff in there, but I dunno if you're big enough to take it..."

Do you:
a)Say "Lol, no way fag I don't want teh AIDZORZ!!!11one"
b)Cautiously open the door to the back room and peer in
d)Leap through the door to the back room with your weapons drawn
e)Leap through the door to the back room with your "Weapon" drawn
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

User avatar
Forthur
Posts: 163
Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2007 8:19 pm UTC
Location: Behind a computer, as always.
Contact:

Postby Forthur » Thu Aug 02, 2007 12:25 pm UTC

b)Cautiously open the door to the back room and peer in

In the dark backroom a few poker playing ents look back at you. You wave. They wave. You close the door, immensely relieved.
Back at the bar you're about to order a drink (using a bit more careful wording), when you notice a beautiful elf sitting alone next to you, staring at nothing, looking sad.

You:
(a) offer a drink
(b) first drink something yourself for that +1 charisma and +3 courage effect
(c) make a remark about how elves were displayed in the Lord of the Rings movies
(d) kiss first, ask questions later

(edited to replace unfortunate term)
Last edited by Forthur on Thu Aug 02, 2007 12:31 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
Life's biggest adventures are the dreams you try to make real.

User avatar
Cheese
and spam. (Euggh)
Posts: 3909
Joined: Mon Jul 02, 2007 2:04 pm UTC
Location: ¿burning you?

Postby Cheese » Thu Aug 02, 2007 12:29 pm UTC

You choose to (d), kiss first, ask questions later.

This earns you a punch in the face. Evidently you choose to kiss a straight male elf, which is a bad idea. You are forcibly ejected from the premises by several large trolls.

Now do you:
a) go back to whatever you were doing before
b) find another bar
c) go mug someone for cash
d) give up, and fall asleep in the gutter, drunk as hell?
hermaj wrote:No-one. Will. Be. Taking. Cheese's. Spot.
Spoiler:
LE4dGOLEM wrote:Cheese is utterly correct on all fronts.
SecondTalon wrote:That thing that Cheese just said. Do that.
Meaux_Pas wrote:I hereby disagree and declare Cheese to be brilliant.
Image

User avatar
Øsse
Posts: 51
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2007 5:54 am UTC
Location: Bergen, Norway
Contact:

Postby Øsse » Thu Aug 02, 2007 1:06 pm UTC

You (a) go back to whatever you were doing before, which was to look inside the room with the poker playing ents, and wave. After cautiously waiting behind a pot plant right by the entrance a couple of minutes, waiting for the bartender to go into the kitchen, you sneak over to the door leading to the back room. Instead of waving back this time, one of the ents say "Are you just gonna stand there like a confused but excited man on a quest, or are you gonna play some poker?"

You

a) Sit down at the table, expecting some kind of credit arrangement.
b) Run away as fast as you can for some reason to be specified later on.
c) Politely decline and return to the main room.
d) Ask about possible credit arrangements because you have no money.

User avatar
Forthur
Posts: 163
Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2007 8:19 pm UTC
Location: Behind a computer, as always.
Contact:

Postby Forthur » Thu Aug 02, 2007 5:35 pm UTC

d) Ask about possible credit arrangements because you have no money.

The ents agree to loan you a LOT of money*, but explain that the interest will cost you an arm and a leg. You reach into your backpack and pull out the arm and leg you remembered to take from Dave. The ents look disappointed - it has been a long time since they last had a good reason to tear some limbs off an innocent passer-by.

You sit down with your LOT of money, making the obligatory 'What's this "poker" thing then?' joke, and start playing.

You:
(a) play defensively, trying to minimize losses
(b) play offensively, trying to bluff your way into large profits
(c) grab the lantern, throw it against the wall, and use the ensuing darkness to grab as much money as possible and run away, yelling "fire!" to add to the ensuing chaos and confusion.


* Yes, Øsse, I saw your avatar.
Life's biggest adventures are the dreams you try to make real.

User avatar
Cheese
and spam. (Euggh)
Posts: 3909
Joined: Mon Jul 02, 2007 2:04 pm UTC
Location: ¿burning you?

Postby Cheese » Thu Aug 02, 2007 5:44 pm UTC

You choose to (b) play offensively, trying to bluff your way into large profits.

You fail.

The ents throw you out of their poker game, because you've already given them back their loan through losing. You decide to explore the rest of this huge pub. Do you:

A) go north, through the round wooden door
B) put on rollerskates, and proceed to wreak havoc
C) realise that you've left your compass at home, so are lost
D) go to the toilet, as you've not yet in this adventure. Let's at least keep this semi-realistic.
hermaj wrote:No-one. Will. Be. Taking. Cheese's. Spot.
Spoiler:
LE4dGOLEM wrote:Cheese is utterly correct on all fronts.
SecondTalon wrote:That thing that Cheese just said. Do that.
Meaux_Pas wrote:I hereby disagree and declare Cheese to be brilliant.
Image

java
Posts: 33
Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2006 4:57 pm UTC

Postby java » Thu Aug 02, 2007 5:45 pm UTC

EDIT: d'oh! 1 minute too late :?
Last edited by java on Thu Aug 02, 2007 7:40 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
SoapyHobo
Soap. It's, uhh, not actually that good
Posts: 990
Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2007 9:07 am UTC
Location: Liverpool, England
Contact:

Postby SoapyHobo » Thu Aug 02, 2007 6:22 pm UTC

Sorry java, but:
Cheese wrote:You fail.

You choose to D) go to the toilet, as you've not yet in this adventure. Let's at least keep this semi-realistic.

You make your way towards the pub's toilets, but as you reach them you suddenly realise that no one has told you what gender you are yet...
Momentarily confused, you realise exactly what to do.

do you:
a) Walk into the men's toilets
b) Walk into the women's toilets
c) Examine yourself, and walk into the appropriate room
d) Examine yourself, and walk into the wrong room
Last edited by SoapyHobo on Thu Aug 02, 2007 7:59 pm UTC, edited 2 times in total.
Jack Saladin wrote:Goddamn that's an awesome ****, Soapy. Once they get around to making artificial **** and I replace my crappy original ones, I'm gonna make mine look like that.

User avatar
Forthur
Posts: 163
Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2007 8:19 pm UTC
Location: Behind a computer, as always.
Contact:

Postby Forthur » Thu Aug 02, 2007 7:55 pm UTC

c) Examine yourself, and walk into the appropriate room

You're lucky. Not every pub has, besides a men's and a women's, also an unidentified strangers'.
Inside you see three stalls.

The left one is old, and quite dirty. You really don't know what happened there, but you hope it won't happen to you when you use it.
The middle one is very modern, clean-looking, and completely computerized, with numerous buttons and sensors. It makes you uneasy.
The right stall is occupied at the moment, and the noises (and fumes) chase away any shred of appetite you had left. You don't know who, or what, exactly is in this stall, but you do remember the "unidentified strangers" picture on the door.

You:
(a) use the left stall
(b) use the middle stall
(c) wait for the right stall to become unoccupied
(d) use the sink
Life's biggest adventures are the dreams you try to make real.

User avatar
Øsse
Posts: 51
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2007 5:54 am UTC
Location: Bergen, Norway
Contact:

Postby Øsse » Thu Aug 02, 2007 8:15 pm UTC

You (b) use the middle stall.

While seated, you press a lot of buttons, and proceed to automatically wipe yourself too early. After a few more random presses, a screen comes out of the wall and shows you the entire unimaginable infinity of the universe with a very tiny marker that says "You Are Here" which points to a microscopic dot on a microscopic dot.

You

a) Are somewhat offended, because the fairy cake is not accessible to you
b) Go crazy because of the tremendous sense of proportion
c) Fiddle around abit more to wipe yourself afterwards
d) Try to access the web to check your gmail.

Forthur wrote:You reach into your backpack and pull out the arm and leg you remembered to take from Dave.
Haha! Nice one! :lol:

User avatar
ArchangelShrike
Rodan's Title
Posts: 1533
Joined: Sun Apr 01, 2007 8:39 am UTC
Location: Waikiki

Postby ArchangelShrike » Thu Aug 02, 2007 8:28 pm UTC

You d) Try to access the web to check your gmail.

Remembering that your quest is to kill the president, and that a straight male elf got offended when you kissed him, and you're a adventurer, you work out that you're probably a male conspirator. But not sure at all. Hacking the screen with the last of the toilet paper, you manage to access Internet Explorer 4 and make a painful way to Gmail. Logging in you see:

a) Spam regarding aZn but secks, with lots of h0t pr0n.
b) A message from Lady Di on how to proceed, since you've been wasting time and items.
c) Your Aunt Muriel wondering how to use the "intertubes".
d) Your saved copy of "The 1000 Greatest Pickup Lines of All Time."

User avatar
Twasbrillig
Tawsbirlig
Posts: 1942
Joined: Mon Nov 20, 2006 5:50 am UTC

Postby Twasbrillig » Fri Aug 03, 2007 12:46 am UTC

In your inbox is b), a letter from "Lady Di". This "Lady Di" claims to be a member of the royal family in Nigeria, and wants to get money out of the country, but needs to transfer it into your bank account to get it out of there and thus needs your banking information. 'She' claims that if you give 'her' the information, you will receive 10% of the estate, an amazing 43.21 quintillion (surprisingly enough) USD.

Your next step is to:

a) Trash it
b) Trash it
c) Send 'her' all of your banking information
d) Trash it, but before you do, send 'her' a message asking questions about it, pretending to be naive
I want to have Bakemaster's babies. It's possible, with science.

I wonder if you can see...
...what is wrong with my signature?

wing wrote:I'm sorry... But that was THE funniest thing I've ever read on the interbutts.

User avatar
UmbrageOfSnow
Not Fully Human
Posts: 354
Joined: Sun Apr 22, 2007 7:06 am UTC
Location: Insomnia Island
Contact:

Postby UmbrageOfSnow » Fri Aug 03, 2007 3:08 am UTC

Your next step is to d) trash it, but before you do, send 'her' a message asking questions about it, pretending to be naive.

Always fun to mess with these people.

Now you open a more instructional email from Princess Di, telling you that you need to go to this very bar and track down sniper named Sue and a hacker named Hiro, to help you with your assassination plot. It doesn't mention what exactly Hiro and Sue are, but it is safe to assume they are not human, you seem to be the only one in here. She warns you that these things work best with four members in your "party", but the third one will be your choice. Going over or under will anger the Perfect Square Gods, spoiling your chances of victory, since you are such a perfect square. Anyway, done checking your relevant emails, you:

(a)Find that automatic wiping button and get out of the stall
(b)Look around for toilet paper to wipe manually
(c)Try to get a glimpse at the legs of whoever's in that third stall making all the nasty noises and smells
(d)Waste some more time on the internet.
yellie wrote:Confession: I just had to look up the word ubiquitous because I kept seeing it all over the place and had no idea what it meant.

User avatar
The LuigiManiac
Posts: 695
Joined: Sun Apr 29, 2007 4:09 am UTC
Location: Trapped in a hypothetical situation somewhere in Ontario...help?

Postby The LuigiManiac » Fri Aug 03, 2007 3:41 am UTC

At first, you were going to (d)Waste some more time on the internet, but then you realize that you probably would have gone to http://www.xkcd.com . Self-referencialism has been done before in the Text Adventure topic, and it...uhh...wasn't actually that good.

So instead you decide to (a)Find that automatic wiping button and get out of the stall. After messing around with the buttons a little more, you find a button that brushes your teeth, a lever that balances your finances, and a doohickey that walks the dog. Finally you find the right button, get wiped off, and get out of the stall.

Unfortunately, the thing in the stall beside you must have finished up while you were in there, and it used all of the soap! You know this, because the thing is apologizing to you for using the soap. The thing looks like Dr. Zoidberg on LOTS of steroids.

Do you:
(a)"Forget" about using soap and leave the washroom immediately.
(b)Tell the thing that it is okay that it used all of the soap, then wash your hands and leave the washroom,
(c)Grill the thing for information on your assigned party members.
(d)Attack the thing, possibly by flipping it over and attacking a hypothetical weak spot for Substantial Loss of Health Points.
Spoiler:
THE CAKE IS A 3.141592653589...!

User avatar
Forthur
Posts: 163
Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2007 8:19 pm UTC
Location: Behind a computer, as always.
Contact:

Postby Forthur » Fri Aug 03, 2007 7:37 am UTC

The soap thing was the last straw. You decide to
(d)Attack the thing, possibly by flipping it over and attacking a hypothetical weak spot for Substantial Loss of Health Points.

Before you can say "Wooob woob woob woob" the thing has you on your back, ready to snip your not so hypothetical weak spot (which would be a Substantial Loss of not only Health Points, but also dignity and enjoyment in life).
Impressed by his strength, speed and dexterity with those claws, you offer him a position as the fourth man on your team.

He:
(a) refuses, saying he could never work for someone who attacked him over some soap
(b) gladly joins your team, mumbling something about "my previous employer hates me anyway"
(c) starts to negotiate about his salary, costs, equipment and a solid health plan
(d) snips.
Life's biggest adventures are the dreams you try to make real.

User avatar
Maseiken
The Candylawyer
Posts: 2827
Joined: Sat May 19, 2007 11:13 am UTC

Postby Maseiken » Fri Aug 03, 2007 10:38 am UTC

He d) snips

You scream in horror as your life flashes before your eyes, however, since you are a hollow, soulless shell of a protagonist, this is rather dull,
"Wow, your life SUCKS."
This was said by the big claw shrimp who has already half snipped through your neck, it heals by magic and he helps you up,
""You can read minds?" you ask him,
He says:
a)"Yes, now are you going to ask me to be on your super-team or what?"
b)"No" and snips again, this time all the way through
c)"Yes, and I can even use it to get you that Vampire babe"
d)"Yes, and I used it a couple hours ago on your mum, she said she wanted a little a' this!" and grabs his crotch... with his claws...
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...


Return to “Forum Games”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: ucim and 21 guests