Create your own political party (or join one)

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Thesh
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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby Thesh » Sat Sep 08, 2012 9:31 pm UTC

Cookies are given at meetings and conventions. If you want, you are permitted to visit a local baker or cook some for yourself.
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Dr. Diaphanous
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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby Dr. Diaphanous » Sun Sep 09, 2012 8:44 am UTC

Darkname wrote:We are pro-polygamy
We are anti-bigamy


So, people can have any number of wives except 2?
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Thesh
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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby Thesh » Sun Sep 09, 2012 8:46 am UTC

Dr. Diaphanous wrote:
Darkname wrote:We are pro-polygamy
We are anti-bigamy


So, people can have any number of wives except 2?


Polygamy is a marriage with multiple people. Bigamy is a person in multiple marriages.
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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby sco » Mon Sep 10, 2012 6:15 am UTC

I create the Freedom84 party.
At the Freedom84 party we realize that you have more important things to do than worry about politics and so we aim to remove such burdens of responsibility from the general populace. We seek to remove the crushing weight of serious decisions to enable them to live a simpler happier life. We are for the government being stuck with making all significant decisions for the majority of people, to simplify their lives. We are for anything that makes people more compliant and passive as increasing the happiness of all is important to us. We support equal rights for all and this includes but is not limited to; gay marriage, polygamy, drug legalization, etc. We do not support legalization of any weapons for civilian use without express government approval as they lead predominantly to people suffering. If you can see our vision for the future please apply to join our party and never have to face a difficult decision again, all are welcome. If you can truly see our vision apply to join our leadership, applications will be accepted only after it has been determined that an applicant can make the right kind of decisions on behalf of the people.

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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby Drowsy Turtle » Mon Sep 10, 2012 6:38 am UTC

Thesh wrote:Join the Green Libertarian Progressive Reform Party! We serve cookies at our meetings and conventions!


Cookies are pointless, as are meetings. Join the Nihilist Association. Or don't. It doesn't matter either way.
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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby themperor17 » Mon Sep 10, 2012 4:03 pm UTC

For my party I say lets make a vote me and turk for giving Sish Kebabs, lahmacuns and turkish baklavas for our meetings also cokes they are all fresh and knew LOL

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Thesh
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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby Thesh » Tue Sep 11, 2012 12:08 am UTC

Some people may find our anti-Canada stance off-putting, which I can understand. However, this is what Canadians look like when they dance:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvmIByrcwAQ

Now, do you still think Canada is so innocent?

That's what I thought.
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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby Darkname » Wed Sep 12, 2012 11:51 pm UTC

Thesh wrote:Some people may find our anti-Canada stance off-putting, which I can understand. However, this is what Canadians look like when they dance:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvmIByrcwAQ

Now, do you still think Canada is so innocent?

That's what I thought.


Due to seeing this shocking footage we have decided that Canada is a threat to our great nation and we agree with the GLPRP party! Canada is nothing but a threat they cannot even safeguard the world maple syrup reserves!

orangedragonfire wrote:... so... burn everything we have? (technically, it can be used to make power)


Yes our party believes in a strong recycling program!

orangedragonfire wrote:And how would we know to trust the government? (also, what do you define as natural monopolies? Does water count? Air?)


Trust the government and get wellfare! Everything that the government wants to count counts, simple easy to understand and designed for you!


orangedragonfire wrote:... do you even know what a tautology is? Of course they are true, and of course they are useless. That's pretty much integral to the definition of a tautology.


Also Simple! Their not us they don't do what we want, they are wrong!
BLARG!!

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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby omgryebread » Wed Sep 12, 2012 11:53 pm UTC

My friends, today I write to you in support of the Totally Relevant Action Party. We take a firm stand on many of the issues facing our country, and we will provide strong leadership in dealing with the many crises we face. In light of the upcoming elections, I present our platform.

Domestic Issues
On the controversial issue of marriage equality, our stance is clear: We support the Court's decision in Loving V. Virginia and believe that any law banning interracial marriage is unconstitutional.

We believe abortion should be banned after the third trimester.

We believe political campaigns should be allowed to run ads.

We support the teaching of Boyle's Law in public schools and do not believe alternative theories should be taught in science classes.

We support the US Bill of Rights and will appoint judges who will vigorously defend the Third Amendment.

We support every American's right to own kitchen knives and oppose all attempts to disarm Americans of their cutlery.

We support alternative means of energy to replace wood-fired power plants.

We are against Prohibition and support the repeal of the 18th Amendment.


Fiscal Policy
We do not support the pegging of the dollar to the Myanma Kyat.

We fully support an audit of the Second Bank of the United States.

We oppose any and all attempts to eliminate the $20 bill.

We believe that Article 1, Section 8, Clause 6 of the US Constitution does in fact give Congress the authority to outlaw counterfeiting.

Foreign Policy
We vigorously oppose the US military intervention in Spain.

We will take a strong position against the Soviet Union, and work to bring down the Iron Curtain, and work towards a peaceful reunification of Germany.

We staunchly stand by the US's important allies. We believe that New Zealand has the right to exist, and has the right to defend itself from any threats by any means necessary. We believe that Wellington should remain the capital of New Zealand.

We will vote against any attempt by the US to sign the Lisbon treaty and join the European Union. Likewise, we do not believe that France should be allowed to enter NAFTA.
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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby Snark » Wed Sep 12, 2012 11:56 pm UTC

omgryebread wrote: the Totally Relevant Action Party.

I like your initials.
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Thesh
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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby Thesh » Thu Sep 13, 2012 12:10 am UTC

I would like to take a stance regarding religious education in public schools: It is my firm belief that we should only be teaching abstinence, otherwise we risk our children trying out what they learn.
Summum ius, summa iniuria.

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omgryebread
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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby omgryebread » Thu Sep 13, 2012 12:29 am UTC

Thesh wrote:I would like to take a stance regarding religious education in public schools: It is my firm belief that we should only be teaching abstinence, otherwise we risk our children trying out what they learn.
On the issue of religion in schools, we do not believe that that veneration of Mithras has a place in public schools.

We also oppose removing the phrase "and justice" from the Pledge of Allegiance.
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Thesh
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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby Thesh » Thu Sep 13, 2012 2:45 am UTC

What is your stance on adding "This is not brainwashing. This is not brainwashing. This is not brainwasing." to the Pledge of Allegiance?
Summum ius, summa iniuria.

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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby sco » Thu Sep 13, 2012 7:06 am UTC

Since that last one wasn't directed at anyone specifically I'll put in my two cents.
The Freedom84 party aprove of adding this phrase but only as a subsonic message that will be played on any mobile once the first part of The Pledge of Allegiance is said.

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Dr. Diaphanous
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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby Dr. Diaphanous » Thu Sep 13, 2012 9:21 am UTC

When we have an election, what election method will we use? I propose something simple to calculate such as the Borda count or Bucklin voting.

omgryebread wrote:We believe abortion should be banned after the third trimester.

Oh yeah, prohibition, that always works. I believe abortion should be legal after the third trimester, but only with written permission from the abortee in Latin and Cherokee, and in verse. Learning these languages (if they hadn't already) and composing the verse will ensure they are mentally competent to make this decision, and that they have thought it through carefully, preventing hasty decisions.

omgryebread wrote:We believe political campaigns should be allowed to run ads.

But that just gives huge advantages to the parties with the most money to run the most ads. This means non-millionaires would not be able to run. At worst, this could lead to a two-party system where individual rich families can have undue influence and big business donations can have a very significant effect on parties. Credits for ads should be allotted evenly between candidates.

omgryebread wrote:We support the US Bill of Rights and will appoint judges who will vigorously defend the Third Amendment.

And leave all those soldiers without homes! Support the troops!

omgryebread wrote:We support every American's right to own kitchen knives and oppose all attempts to disarm Americans of their cutlery.

Even if they have severe bipolar depression or dangerous psychotic disorders? That doesn't seem safe.

omgryebread wrote:We will take a strong position against the Soviet Union, and work to bring down the Iron Curtain, and work towards a peaceful reunification of Germany.

How do you define Germany here? Are you proposing reuniting all of Greater Germany, including Austria and East Prussia?

omgryebread wrote:Likewise, we do not believe that France should be allowed to enter NAFTA.

Whyever not?

sco wrote:I create the Freedom84 party.
At the Freedom84 party we realize that you have more important things to do than worry about politics and so we aim to remove such burdens of responsibility from the general populace. We seek to remove the crushing weight of serious decisions to enable them to live a simpler happier life. We are for the government being stuck with making all significant decisions for the majority of people, to simplify their lives. We are for anything that makes people more compliant and passive as increasing the happiness of all is important to us. We support equal rights for all and this includes but is not limited to; gay marriage, polygamy, drug legalization, etc. We do not support legalization of any weapons for civilian use without express government approval as they lead predominantly to people suffering. If you can see our vision for the future please apply to join our party and never have to face a difficult decision again, all are welcome. If you can truly see our vision apply to join our leadership, applications will be accepted only after it has been determined that an applicant can make the right kind of decisions on behalf of the people.


But that still leaves people with the burden of being forced to feel their own emotions.

Opinions expressed here are not necessarily those of the Green Libertarian Progressive Reform Party. Terms and conditions apply. Reading this is at the reader's own risk and the Green Libertarian Progressive Reform Party will not take responsibility for and loss of life or property resulting from reading this post.
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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby sco » Fri Sep 14, 2012 2:39 am UTC

sco wrote:
I create the Freedom84 party.
At the Freedom84 party we realize that you have more important things to do than worry about politics and so we aim to remove such burdens of responsibility from the general populace. We seek to remove the crushing weight of serious decisions to enable them to live a simpler happier life. We are for the government being stuck with making all significant decisions for the majority of people, to simplify their lives. We are for anything that makes people more compliant and passive as increasing the happiness of all is important to us. We support equal rights for all and this includes but is not limited to; gay marriage, polygamy, drug legalization, etc. We do not support legalization of any weapons for civilian use without express government approval as they lead predominantly to people suffering. If you can see our vision for the future please apply to join our party and never have to face a difficult decision again, all are welcome. If you can truly see our vision apply to join our leadership, applications will be accepted only after it has been determined that an applicant can make the right kind of decisions on behalf of the people.


But that still leaves people with the burden of being forced to feel their own emotions.


You're right! In light of this the Freedom84 party pledge to increase the availability of anti-depressants and sedatives and pledge to fund projects to create artificial endorphins and other mood altering hormones.

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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby omgryebread » Fri Sep 14, 2012 4:07 am UTC

But that just gives huge advantages to the parties with the most money to run the most ads. This means non-millionaires would not be able to run. At worst, this could lead to a two-party system where individual rich families can have undue influence and big business donations can have a very significant effect on parties. Credits for ads should be allotted evenly between candidates.
To clarify: Our platform does not take a position on how the ads should be funded. We just believe that they should be able to run ads.

And leave all those soldiers without homes! Support the troops!
It is these attacks upon the rights and freedoms of Americans that will not stand! The trampling of Third Amendment rights that is all too common in today's politics must stop, and the American people will not tolerate it any longer. Vote TRAP, Vote... America!

omgryebread wrote:We support every American's right to own kitchen knives and oppose all attempts to disarm Americans of their cutlery.

Even if they have severe bipolar depression or dangerous psychotic disorders? That doesn't seem safe.
This is a matter best determined by the states.

How do you define Germany here? Are you proposing reuniting all of Greater Germany, including Austria and East Prussia?
We believe this is something that must be determined by the people involved.

omgryebread wrote:Likewise, we do not believe that France should be allowed to enter NAFTA.

Whyever not?
We oppose any attempts by non-North American countries to join the North American Free Trade Union.
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Dr. Diaphanous
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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby Dr. Diaphanous » Fri Sep 14, 2012 10:05 am UTC

omgryebread wrote:We believe this is something that must be determined by the people involved.

If they can sort it out themselves, there is no need for you to list it as a policy. (Also half the leaders involved are a Stalinist puppet regime).

omgryebread wrote:We oppose any attempts by non-North American countries to join the North American Free Trade Union.

That's RACIST!

omgryebread wrote:We also oppose removing the phrase "and justice" from the Pledge of Allegiance.

"and justice" should be removed for the following reasons:
  • Justice implies a culture of retribution and vengeance, rather than a legal system based on teaching and rehabilitation.
  • A lot of young people think justice is a good thing, from playing too many video games. This is likely to make them overlook the even more diseased parts of the pledge, saying "but I like justice".
  • If they respect the pledge, they may end up becoming patriotic. This will cause them to hate foreigners and immigrants and protesters, and will make them more likely to go to war.
"God works in mysterious and breathtakingly cruel ways."

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Thesh
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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby Thesh » Sun Sep 16, 2012 6:42 am UTC

As the founder of the GLPR (pronounced "gulper"), I have a question: what exactly is middle class? I can't find anything defining what middle class is, only research showing that the middle class in America is shrinking. This is, of course, rhetorical. Preserving the middle class is a distraction from the real issues: unemployment and poverty.

tldr: legalize pot.
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Dr. Diaphanous
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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby Dr. Diaphanous » Mon Sep 17, 2012 2:21 pm UTC

I think the middle class are the ones who are rich enough to buy luxuries but not rich enough to buy politicians.
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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby Darkname » Wed Sep 19, 2012 11:40 pm UTC

We think that what defines the middle class is whether or not they themselves shoot the guns or other people shoot the guns for them if they themselves shoot the gun then they are middle class. If they have other people shoot the guns then thats upper class!
BLARG!!

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Thesh
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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby Thesh » Wed Sep 19, 2012 11:50 pm UTC

I assume you mean people who shoot at things that shoot back.
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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby _infina_ » Mon Sep 24, 2012 4:01 am UTC

I announce the formation of the RTU Party.

Our stance on all issues is based on two simple goals:
1. Assist _infina_ in becoming the sole ruler of the Universe, both known and unknown.
2. Global Thermonuclear Warfare.
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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby Thesh » Tue Sep 25, 2012 3:09 am UTC

As much as I support the idea of nuking Canada,I'm worried that it might melt all the ice. Because the US is below Canada, many of our people will end up being washed down to South America or the Gulf of Mexico, leaving us without much of a standing army.
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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby Thesh » Wed Oct 03, 2012 5:53 am UTC

I've decided to change my party to "The Freedom Club", and use this song as our official theme song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__Ji2oTly_0
Summum ius, summa iniuria.

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FCN
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Re: Create your own political party (or join one)

Postby FCN » Wed Oct 03, 2012 6:54 am UTC

omgryebread wrote:We support the US Bill of Rights and will appoint judges who will vigorously defend the Third Amendment.

As a Third Amendment liberal, I want to party with you. Man, I could tell you some stories.

There's Dave's grandmother, who "was quite outraged about the British soldiers who had been quartered in her great-great-grandmother's home (I think I have that right) and who had not only killed her goose for a meal but wasted the feathers by plucking the goose next to the fireplace and tossing the feathers into the fire." NEVER AGAIN.

There's this newspaper article about a Third Amendment rights group.

And the classic skit:
(Knock, knock)
Couple in room: Who's there?
(Voice from outside) The army. We would like to quarter some soldiers in your house.
Couple: No thanks; we don't want to quarter any soldiers just now.
(Voice) You have to. We're the army.
Couple: No we don't. It's peacetime, and the third amendment to the Constitution states that "No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner".
(Voice) Oh. You're right. Sorry. (Sound of boots shuffling away.)

Hell yeah!

My one issue with the TRAP party platform is:
omgryebread wrote:We support the teaching of Boyle's Law in public schools and do not believe alternative theories should be taught in science classes.

I say that we teach both theories, Boyle's law and Gay-Lussac's law.

I also propose that we support the statehood of Arizona and New Mexico in this great union.
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