Amusing answers to tests

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hnooch
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby hnooch » Fri Apr 04, 2008 8:35 pm UTC

Don't forget to include not just the mass of the earth, but also the mass of all the air sitting at a lower altitude... :D

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby skeptical scientist » Fri Apr 04, 2008 10:07 pm UTC

hnooch wrote:Don't forget to include not just the mass of the earth, but also the mass of all the air sitting at a lower altitude... :D

Yeah, um, no. I'm quite certain that the error I introduce by not taking that into account is orders of magnitude smaller than the error I introduce by assuming the density of air is constant.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Lanth » Sat Apr 12, 2008 1:39 pm UTC

This was in Maths, the question was something along the lines of "What does *some detail about graph* tell you about the nature of the graph"

Answer: "The *detail* is very depressed at the moment and doesn't feel like talking."

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby 4=5 » Sun Apr 13, 2008 12:08 am UTC

chronoti wrote:
Luthen wrote:d's philosophy exam (or maybe it was just a joke question from his teacher) there was a essay question (for half the exam) that went:

Topic D: Free Will and Determinacy
Essay Question: Is it possible for you to choose not to answer this question?

My answers are:
1) Complete another essay half-arsed and finish with "Thus I have proved the essay question in Topic D"
2) Write "This statement is false" and leave the marker to squirm



i would of turned the whole test in blank, when asked why "if i answered any questions i would of compromised the integrity of topic d."

I would have said "yes"

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Token » Sun Apr 13, 2008 10:42 am UTC

4=5 wrote:
chronoti wrote:
Luthen wrote:d's philosophy exam (or maybe it was just a joke question from his teacher) there was a essay question (for half the exam) that went:

Topic D: Free Will and Determinacy
Essay Question: Is it possible for you to choose not to answer this question?

My answers are:
1) Complete another essay half-arsed and finish with "Thus I have proved the essay question in Topic D"
2) Write "This statement is false" and leave the marker to squirm



i would of turned the whole test in blank, when asked why "if i answered any questions i would of compromised the integrity of topic d."

I would have said "yes"

I would have said "no".
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby hnooch » Sun Apr 13, 2008 7:47 pm UTC

For those curious what an actual answer might look like, here is my best attempt:

Topic D: Free Will and Determinacy
Essay Question: Is it possible for you to choose not to answer this question?

Several things need to be cleared up before an answer is possible. First, what sense of "possible" is being discussed? "Possible" can mean logically possible, metaphysically possible, nomologically possible. Second, are we assuming that it is even possible to choose to do anything at all? That is, is "choose not to answer the question" really a stand-in for "choose to act"? Addressing the second point of confusion, if we suppose that it is not possible to choose to do anything, then the answer to the essay question is straightforwardly "no." Let's suppose, then, to make things interesting, that it is in fact possible to choose to do some things (for some meaning of "possible").

However, the question is still fairly straightforward. It is certainly not logically impossible for me to choose not to answer this question, nor is it difficult to envision a possible world in which I choose not to answer this question, nor would it violate the laws of nature for me to choose not to answer this question. So, despite the fact that I choose to answer this question, it is still in fact possible (under any of the three specific definitions of "possible" that I give) for me to choose not to answer this question (again, assuming that it is possible for me to choose to do anything at all).

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Mr. Beck » Mon Apr 14, 2008 3:29 am UTC

Once, on a math test, I came upon a problem I had no ideas for solving. So I simply wrote the Portal Cake Recipe, as best I remembered it.

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Fafnir43 » Tue Apr 15, 2008 12:31 am UTC

Luthen wrote:Topic D: Free Will and Determinacy
Essay Question: Is it possible for you to choose not to answer this question?

My answers are:
1) Complete another essay half-arsed and finish with "Thus I have proved the essay question in Topic D"
2) Write "This statement is false" and leave the marker to squirm


I would have said no, on the grounds that choosing not to answer the question would in itself answer the question... Then I'd drop the Liar Paradox and run.
Last edited by Fafnir43 on Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:25 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby quintopia » Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:39 am UTC

If you leave it blank, you would get it wrong, because to leave it blank is to implicitly answer "yes," and on noting that you left it blank, the grader receives this implicit answer, which means that you did, in fact, answer the question, and therefore you should have explicitly answered "no."

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Beaniedude » Wed Apr 16, 2008 12:07 pm UTC

I figured i'ld give some of these a shot
I tried the A miricle occurs one....it didn't get me any marks :(
Spoiler:
applicmiracle.JPG
applicmiracle.JPG (291.34 KiB) Viewed 6310 times


Also when asked about the similarites between graphs i did this
Spoiler:
calc-graph.JPG
calc-graph.JPG (184.03 KiB) Viewed 6306 times


And in chem (havent gotten it back yet) they were talking about potassium iodide so i drew ninjas everywhere using KI
ANd i also drew (badly) Captain Falcon with a beaker going "Fal-CONE TITRATE!"
I hope it get credit marks....probably not
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby pkuky » Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:10 pm UTC

over here, students complained about having to learn n-variable calculus. so the professor took pity on them and reduced it to n-1.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby phlip » Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:50 pm UTC

pkuky wrote:over here, students complained about having to learn n-variable calculus. so the professor took pity on them and reduced it to n-1.

Bah, even I know that subtracting 1 from an arbitrary number isn't going to help at all... you have to go, like, n/2, for it to matter.

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby zahlman » Thu Apr 17, 2008 2:51 am UTC

Token wrote:
4=5 wrote:
chronoti wrote:
Luthen wrote:d's philosophy exam (or maybe it was just a joke question from his teacher) there was a essay question (for half the exam) that went:

Topic D: Free Will and Determinacy
Essay Question: Is it possible for you to choose not to answer this question?

My answers are:
1) Complete another essay half-arsed and finish with "Thus I have proved the essay question in Topic D"
2) Write "This statement is false" and leave the marker to squirm



i would of turned the whole test in blank, when asked why "if i answered any questions i would of compromised the integrity of topic d."

I would have said "yes"

I would have said "no".


I would have said "It was; but now I've gone and chosen to answer it instead."

Beaniedude wrote:I figured i'ld give some of these a shot
I tried the A miricle occurs one....it didn't get me any marks :(
Spoiler:
applicmiracle.JPG


First show that (A+I) = 0 (should be possible by contradiction; basically what you're proving is that the matrix zero is unique). Therefore A = -I; substitute in.

Alternatively: A^3 + 3A - 2I = A^3 - 3A - 2I + 2((A+I)^2) = A^3 - 3A - 2I + 2A^2 + 4A + 2I = A^3 + 2A^2 + A = A((A+I)^2) = A(0) = 0.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Nitrodon » Thu Apr 17, 2008 4:34 am UTC

zahlman wrote:
Beaniedude wrote:I figured i'ld give some of these a shot
I tried the A miricle occurs one....it didn't get me any marks :(
Spoiler:
applicmiracle.JPG


First show that (A+I) = 0 (should be possible by contradiction; basically what you're proving is that the matrix zero is unique). Therefore A = -I; substitute in.


This can't be proven, because it's not true. For instance, this is a possible value of (A+I) for n=2:

[0 0]
[1 0]

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby zahlman » Thu Apr 17, 2008 4:59 pm UTC

Nitrodon wrote:
zahlman wrote:
Beaniedude wrote:I figured i'ld give some of these a shot
I tried the A miricle occurs one....it didn't get me any marks :(
Spoiler:
applicmiracle.JPG


First show that (A+I) = 0 (should be possible by contradiction; basically what you're proving is that the matrix zero is unique). Therefore A = -I; substitute in.


This can't be proven, because it's not true. For instance, this is a possible value of (A+I) for n=2:

[0 0]
[1 0]


Er... never mind; use the second one, then.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby DarkKnightJared » Thu Apr 17, 2008 7:41 pm UTC

In my chem class last semester, I had some question that I don't remember that I had no idea what to do about, so I decided to draw a tryanasaur with a top hat, monacole and a cane, flying with a jetpack declaring, "I do not know the answer so I must FLY AWAAAAAAAAAAY!" She didn't even make a comment. :(

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby pkuky » Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:03 pm UTC

I finished a math competition in half the time, so I wrote three pages of poems after the end, because they didn't let you go out early. the testing guy later said I wasn't serious enough to be worthy of the honor of joining his team and failed me.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Mr. Beck » Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:21 pm UTC

Beaniedude wrote:Also when asked about the similarites between graphs i did this

The best part is the "likes to read <illegible>" being crossed out and replaced with "maths".

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Guff » Fri Apr 18, 2008 12:07 am UTC

Mr. Beck wrote:
Beaniedude wrote:Also when asked about the similarites between graphs i did this

..."likes to read <illegible>"...

Crime novels. Though, to be fair, it took me a while to decipher some of the handwriting.

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Beaniedude » Fri Apr 18, 2008 3:41 am UTC

Guff wrote:
Mr. Beck wrote:
Beaniedude wrote:Also when asked about the similarites between graphs i did this

..."likes to read <illegible>"...

Crime novels. Though, to be fair, it took me a while to decipher some of the handwriting.

Yeah it says
"Both have goldfish named Angus" then he crossed it out and wrote "No Scotty"
And yes it is crime novels...
...Apparently i should have wrote Tp=Turning Point... but i just wanted to try to get a Loz joke out of him
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Esarque » Sun Apr 20, 2008 8:34 am UTC

I don't know if Batman is the derivitive of Bruce Wayne, but I'll swear in blood that Spiderman is the derivitive of Mary Jane-- You know he lies adjacent to those curves.

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby the tree » Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:50 am UTC

Esarque wrote:I don't know if Batman is the derivitive of Bruce Wayne, but I'll swear in blood that Spiderman is the derivitive of Mary Jane-- You know he lies adjacent to those curves.
You fail. Derivatives (yeah, with an 'a') lie tangent to curves.

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby jestingrabbit » Tue Apr 22, 2008 7:57 am UTC

the tree wrote:
Esarque wrote:I don't know if Batman is the derivitive of Bruce Wayne, but I'll swear in blood that Spiderman is the derivitive of Mary Jane-- You know he lies adjacent to those curves.
You fail. Derivatives (yeah, with an 'a') lie tangent to curves.
You also fail. The derivative tells you the slope of the tangent at some point, but the derivative is not the tangent.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Beaniedude » Tue Apr 22, 2008 9:42 am UTC

Oh and another one... in physics we were given a problem of two wires carrying a current in the same direction...what would they do etc

Me being me decided to write a limerick to answer it...
...and to anyone going to bag it remember it was written in test conditions with like 5 minutes remaining

Im gonna try remembering it off the top of my head as i dont have it on me

The forces apparent inbetween
The wires, cannot be seen
It wants to be symetrical
Hey, its electrical
So they repel, or they could be mean?

Yes its rather bad... im not sure if thats what i wrote...something along those lines.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby the tree » Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:10 pm UTC

jestingrabbit wrote:
the tree wrote:
Esarque wrote:I don't know if Batman is the derivitive of Bruce Wayne, but I'll swear in blood that Spiderman is the derivitive of Mary Jane-- You know he lies adjacent to those curves.
You fail. Derivatives (yeah, with an 'a') lie tangent to curves.
You also fail. The derivative tells you the slope of the tangent at some point, but the derivative is not the tangent.
Lying tangent to =/= being the tangent.

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Token » Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:24 pm UTC

jestingrabbit wrote:
the tree wrote:
Esarque wrote:I don't know if Batman is the derivitive of Bruce Wayne, but I'll swear in blood that Spiderman is the derivitive of Mary Jane-- You know he lies adjacent to those curves.
You fail. Derivatives (yeah, with an 'a') lie tangent to curves.
You also fail. The derivative tells you the slope of the tangent at some point, but the derivative is not the tangent.

You double-fail for not knowing that the classic chat-up-line is "Hey baby, I wish I was your derivative... so I could lie tangent to your curves."
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby NathanielJ » Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:33 pm UTC

Token wrote:
jestingrabbit wrote:
the tree wrote:
Esarque wrote:I don't know if Batman is the derivitive of Bruce Wayne, but I'll swear in blood that Spiderman is the derivitive of Mary Jane-- You know he lies adjacent to those curves.
You fail. Derivatives (yeah, with an 'a') lie tangent to curves.
You also fail. The derivative tells you the slope of the tangent at some point, but the derivative is not the tangent.

You double-fail for not knowing that the classic chat-up-line is "Hey baby, I wish I was your derivative... so I could lie tangent to your curves."


You triple-fail for saying "was" when you should have employed the subjunctive and used "were".
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Token » Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:46 pm UTC

NathanielJ wrote:
Token wrote:
jestingrabbit wrote:
the tree wrote:
Esarque wrote:I don't know if Batman is the derivitive of Bruce Wayne, but I'll swear in blood that Spiderman is the derivitive of Mary Jane-- You know he lies adjacent to those curves.
You fail. Derivatives (yeah, with an 'a') lie tangent to curves.
You also fail. The derivative tells you the slope of the tangent at some point, but the derivative is not the tangent.

You double-fail for not knowing that the classic chat-up-line is "Hey baby, I wish I was your derivative... so I could lie tangent to your curves."


You triple-fail for saying "was" when you should have employed the subjunctive and used "were".

Well... you quadruple fail for not knowing that many dialects of English don't use the subjunctive in informal speech or writing.

Also, your mother exchanges sexual favours for money.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby hyperion » Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:50 pm UTC

WELL YOU ALL INFINTY-FAIL FOR NOT POSTING AMUSING ANSWERS TO TESTS
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Token » Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:53 pm UTC

Hey, there's nothing wrong with going off on a tangent.



To your curves.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby NathanielJ » Tue Apr 22, 2008 3:26 pm UTC

Token wrote:
NathanielJ wrote:
Token wrote:
jestingrabbit wrote:
the tree wrote:
Esarque wrote:I don't know if Batman is the derivitive of Bruce Wayne, but I'll swear in blood that Spiderman is the derivitive of Mary Jane-- You know he lies adjacent to those curves.
You fail. Derivatives (yeah, with an 'a') lie tangent to curves.
You also fail. The derivative tells you the slope of the tangent at some point, but the derivative is not the tangent.

You double-fail for not knowing that the classic chat-up-line is "Hey baby, I wish I was your derivative... so I could lie tangent to your curves."


You triple-fail for saying "was" when you should have employed the subjunctive and used "were".

Well... you quadruple fail for not knowing that many dialects of English don't use the subjunctive in informal speech or writing.

Also, your mother exchanges sexual favours for money.


You quintuple-fail for not knowing that she gives them away for free.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Ended » Tue Apr 22, 2008 3:39 pm UTC

NathanielJ wrote:
Token wrote:
NathanielJ wrote:
Token wrote:
jestingrabbit wrote:
the tree wrote:
Esarque wrote:I don't know if Batman is the derivitive of Bruce Wayne, but I'll swear in blood that Spiderman is the derivitive of Mary Jane-- You know he lies adjacent to those curves.
You fail. Derivatives (yeah, with an 'a') lie tangent to curves.
You also fail. The derivative tells you the slope of the tangent at some point, but the derivative is not the tangent.

You double-fail for not knowing that the classic chat-up-line is "Hey baby, I wish I was your derivative... so I could lie tangent to your curves."


You triple-fail for saying "was" when you should have employed the subjunctive and used "were".

Well... you quadruple fail for not knowing that many dialects of English don't use the subjunctive in informal speech or writing.

Also, your mother exchanges sexual favours for money.


You quintuple-fail for not knowing that she gives them away for free.

You all sextuple fail for not interpreting the derivative at a point as a linear map, which coincides with the tangent line (up to a constant) for a 1-d real function.

Heh, sex.

To make this post slightly on-topic: I admire your commitment to the cause, Beaniedude.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Token » Tue Apr 22, 2008 4:43 pm UTC

NathanielJ wrote:
Token wrote:
NathanielJ wrote:
Token wrote:
jestingrabbit wrote:
the tree wrote:
Esarque wrote:I don't know if Batman is the derivitive of Bruce Wayne, but I'll swear in blood that Spiderman is the derivitive of Mary Jane-- You know he lies adjacent to those curves.
You fail. Derivatives (yeah, with an 'a') lie tangent to curves.
You also fail. The derivative tells you the slope of the tangent at some point, but the derivative is not the tangent.

You double-fail for not knowing that the classic chat-up-line is "Hey baby, I wish I was your derivative... so I could lie tangent to your curves."


You triple-fail for saying "was" when you should have employed the subjunctive and used "were".

Well... you quadruple fail for not knowing that many dialects of English don't use the subjunctive in informal speech or writing.

Also, your mother exchanges sexual favours for money.


You quintuple-fail for not knowing that she gives them away for free.

You septuple-fail for not realising I meant she has to buy them.

Let's stop this now.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby lingomaniac88 » Tue Apr 22, 2008 6:40 pm UTC

How about this for any mathematical theorem:
"If this was not true, you would not ask me to prove it."
"It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something."
-- Franklin D. Roosevelt

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby BlackSails » Tue Apr 22, 2008 6:46 pm UTC

lingomaniac88 wrote:How about this for any mathematical theorem:
"If this was not true, you would not ask me to prove it."


Ive actually had trick problems on tests where the conjecture in question ended up being false.

(At least one of those was a mistake, and he just left off some condition that was necessary. Something along the lines of: Prove the following integral has the following properties, and forgot to specifiy it was only in positive reals or something)

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby LatwPIAT » Tue Apr 22, 2008 7:24 pm UTC

I have a habit of finishing long before time, and my teacher lets ever page have the "Name:" field, so I always alternate between my name and "I like pie!" I'm planning to change it to "The cake is a lie!" though.

Also, I was once given a question where i had to add a bunch of people's ages, and decided to quote R.P. Feynman on the subject of star temeperature addition. (Then I answered the question.)

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Mr. Beck » Tue Apr 22, 2008 8:56 pm UTC

Token wrote:
NathanielJ wrote:
Token wrote:
NathanielJ wrote:
Token wrote:
jestingrabbit wrote:
the tree wrote:
Esarque wrote:I don't know if Batman is the derivitive of Bruce Wayne, but I'll swear in blood that Spiderman is the derivitive of Mary Jane-- You know he lies adjacent to those curves.
You fail. Derivatives (yeah, with an 'a') lie tangent to curves.
You also fail. The derivative tells you the slope of the tangent at some point, but the derivative is not the tangent.

You double-fail for not knowing that the classic chat-up-line is "Hey baby, I wish I was your derivative... so I could lie tangent to your curves."


You triple-fail for saying "was" when you should have employed the subjunctive and used "were".

Well... you quadruple fail for not knowing that many dialects of English don't use the subjunctive in informal speech or writing.

Also, your mother exchanges sexual favours for money.


You quintuple-fail for not knowing that she gives them away for free.

You septuple-fail for not realising I meant she has to buy them.

Let's stop this now.

You octo-fail for trying to end an amusing diversion.

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby karmiclube » Tue Apr 22, 2008 11:03 pm UTC

3.14159265... wrote:On a real analysis exam, I couldn't prove a theorem, so:

I gave a false proof, hid the mistake in the proof, and wrote under the proof:

"This is a false proof, find the mistake", All I got was a question mark, I am proud lol.


i could never keep track of all the theorems and whatnot in advanced geometry, so i made liberal use of "given" as a proof. (translation: "shhhh....just go with it.") between that and my attendance, i'm amazed i got a B in the class. it was my first class of the day, and as such started at 7:45am. i was FOURTEEN and even 11 years later am not a morning person, so i had innumerable tardies, and my prof used to joke he'd only give me half a grade since i was only there half the time.
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Azrael001
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Azrael001 » Wed Apr 23, 2008 12:51 am UTC

I just got back from my last exam. On it was one question that I didn't know. Rather than try pathetically for a few marks of making stuff up, I wrote "I don't know that."

Then I drew a picture of a stick man being hurled into the gorge of eternal peril.
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Nimz
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Nimz » Wed Apr 23, 2008 2:57 am UTC

LatwPIAT wrote:I was once given a question where i had to add a bunch of people's ages, and decided to quote R.P. Feynman on the subject of star temeperature addition. (Then I answered the question.)
Did you include the green stars?

To all the failures above, add another level of failure for not punning with dipole failure, quadrupole failure, and octupole failure. I have my moments :mrgreen:
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