Math Jokes

For the discussion of math. Duh.

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Valyn
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Math Jokes

Postby Valyn » Tue Jan 12, 2010 5:19 am UTC

I know there is already a topic, but I would like some short math jokes that I can use in our high school yearbook. I need to be able to fill up half an A4 page. There should be some that any layman would be able to understand as well some that only the select few would be able to understand.

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Nintendon't
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Re: Math Jokes

Postby Nintendon't » Tue Jan 12, 2010 5:51 pm UTC

Did you know that the ground pushes up on you?
Don't worry, though. It's normal.

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Yakk
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Re: Math Jokes

Postby Yakk » Tue Jan 12, 2010 8:25 pm UTC

I know you know about the topic, but I would like to tell you that you could answer your question by just reading this thread yourself, and picking out ones that a layman could understand. I think this topic seems very redundant. This should be clear to even a posting neophite, as well as to a forum expert.
One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision - BR

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Valyn
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Re: Math Jokes

Postby Valyn » Wed Jan 13, 2010 4:33 am UTC

Yakk wrote:I know you know about the topic, but I would like to tell you that you could answer your question by just reading this thread yourself, and picking out ones that a layman could understand. I think this topic seems very redundant. This should be clear to even a posting neophite, as well as to a forum expert.


Yes, I understand that it seems redundant but I know very few people who would want to read through 940 posts to try and sort out ones that are appropriate. If the mods lock this, than that is fine and i will have to do that, but so far they havent and so i will hold out hope that more people will respond.

Nintendon't wrote:Did you know that the ground pushes up on you?
Don't worry, though. It's normal.


just to tell you that is a physics joke not a math joke.

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mdyrud
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Re: Math Jokes

Postby mdyrud » Wed Jan 13, 2010 9:18 pm UTC

How can you tell that you are talking to a Computer Scientist?
When you ask if he wants the window open or closed, he answers yes.

Even though the normal joke isn't math, it has just taken a top spot in my top jokes of all times list.

Syrin
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Re: Math Jokes

Postby Syrin » Wed Jan 13, 2010 10:38 pm UTC

mdyrud wrote:How can you tell that you are talking to a Computer Scientist?
When you ask if he wants the window open or closed, he answers yes.

Even though the normal joke isn't math, it has just taken a top spot in my top jokes of all times list.


Addendum: if he says both, he's a mathematician.

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Gluteus
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Re: Math Jokes

Postby Gluteus » Thu Jan 14, 2010 12:30 am UTC

Oh, here's some from my collection, which in turn is plagiarized from others:

How to Catch a Lion in the Sahara Desert
The Geometrical Inversion Method
We place a spherical cage in the desert, enter it and lock it from inside. We then perform an inversion with respect to the cage. Then the lion is inside the cage, and we are outside.

A Topological Method
We observe that the lion possesses the topological gender of a torus. We embed the desert in a four dimensional space. Then it is possible to apply a deformation of such a kind that the lion when returning to the three dimensional space is all tied up in itself. It is then completely helpless

A: "What if all numbers were multiples of pi and our integer system was wrong?"
B: "stop having such irrational thoughts"
Nothing in this world that is worth having comes easy

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SlyReaper
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Re: Math Jokes

Postby SlyReaper » Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:43 pm UTC

i says to e "be rational".
e says to i "get real".

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Talith
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Re: Math Jokes

Postby Talith » Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:55 pm UTC

SlyReaper wrote:i says to e "be rational".
e says to i "get real".

Badum tish.

The back of my maths hoodie has a cartoon of this joke (with speech bubbles etc). I think it's pretty popular amongst the students and, having shown it to a few non-maths friends, those that know about imaginary numbers normally get it quiet quickly.


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