Favorite math jokes

For the discussion of math. Duh.

Moderators: gmalivuk, Moderators General, Prelates

Gauteamus
Posts: 14
Joined: Mon May 21, 2007 4:46 pm UTC
Location: Ultima Thule

Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Gauteamus » Thu Mar 10, 2016 3:09 pm UTC

What do painting a still life and constructing the rationals have in common?

Spoiler:
Consider ordered pears

User avatar
Sizik
Posts: 1142
Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2008 3:48 am UTC

Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Sizik » Mon May 02, 2016 5:31 pm UTC

Here's one I just thought up.

A man walks into a bar, followed by a line of countably infinite mathematicians. The man orders a beer, and the bartender serves him. The bartender asks the first mathematician for his order. He thinks for a second, then points to the man and says "I'll have what he's having." The second mathematician, not to be outdone, thinks for half a second, then points to the first and shouts "I'll have TWICE what he's having!" A quarter-second later, the third mathematician points at the second and shouts "I'll have twice what SHE's having!" The rest of the mathematicians follow suit. The bartender, frustrated, takes back the man's beer.
gmalivuk wrote:
King Author wrote:If space (rather, distance) is an illusion, it'd be possible for one meta-me to experience both body's sensory inputs.
Yes. And if wishes were horses, wishing wells would fill up very quickly with drowned horses.

User avatar
Eebster the Great
Posts: 2652
Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:58 am UTC

Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Eebster the Great » Tue May 03, 2016 4:18 pm UTC

Surely it's a countably infinite line of mathematicians, not a line of countably infinite mathematicians. Unless each one has an unbounded number of cells or something.

Demki
Posts: 192
Joined: Fri Nov 30, 2012 9:29 pm UTC

Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Demki » Tue May 03, 2016 4:59 pm UTC

Eebster the Great wrote:Surely it's a countably infinite line of mathematicians, not a line of countably infinite mathematicians. Unless each one has an unbounded number of cells or something.

They must be very dense.

Aiwendil
Posts: 296
Joined: Thu Apr 07, 2011 8:53 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Aiwendil » Tue May 03, 2016 9:42 pm UTC

Sizik wrote:Here's one I just thought up.

A man walks into a bar, followed by a line of countably infinite mathematicians. The man orders a beer, and the bartender serves him. The bartender asks the first mathematician for his order. He thinks for a second, then points to the man and says "I'll have what he's having." The second mathematician, not to be outdone, thinks for half a second, then points to the first and shouts "I'll have TWICE what he's having!" A quarter-second later, the third mathematician points at the second and shouts "I'll have twice what SHE's having!" The rest of the mathematicians follow suit. The bartender, frustrated, takes back the man's beer.


Variation on this joke: A countably infinite line of people walks into a bar. The first person, who is well known as an alcoholic, orders a beer. The second person, not wanting to appear to be as much of a drunkard as the first, says "I'll have half of what she's having." The third one wants to appear even less inclined toward the evils of drink than the second and says, "I'll have half of what he's having." The bartender, seeing the trend and not wishing to spend eternity taking these orders, puts two beers down on the bar and says, "Here are all your drinks, but you'll have to share them out yourselves."

User avatar
CZeke
Posts: 51
Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2007 9:45 am UTC
Location: Waterloo, Canada
Contact:

Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby CZeke » Sun Dec 04, 2016 2:37 am UTC

So why don't most mathematicians go around proving the unsolvability of the general quintic?

They're not Abel.
FiveMinute.net: Because stuff is long and life is short

User avatar
Monika
Welcoming Aarvark
Posts: 3611
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:03 am UTC
Location: Germany, near Heidelberg
Contact:

Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Monika » Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:59 pm UTC

CZeke wrote:So why don't most mathematicians go around proving the unsolvability of the general quintic?

They're not Abel.

LOL
#xkcd-q on irc.foonetic.net - the LGBTIQQA support channel
Please donate to help these people e.g. Ragna needs these items and Frances needs money for food

User avatar
Sizik
Posts: 1142
Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2008 3:48 am UTC

Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Sizik » Tue Feb 07, 2017 1:30 am UTC

The Romans could never have invented algebra, because they always thought X = 10.
gmalivuk wrote:
King Author wrote:If space (rather, distance) is an illusion, it'd be possible for one meta-me to experience both body's sensory inputs.
Yes. And if wishes were horses, wishing wells would fill up very quickly with drowned horses.

User avatar
Monika
Welcoming Aarvark
Posts: 3611
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:03 am UTC
Location: Germany, near Heidelberg
Contact:

Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Monika » Tue Feb 07, 2017 9:27 am UTC

Sizik wrote:The Romans could never have invented algebra, because they always thought X = 10.

:lol:
#xkcd-q on irc.foonetic.net - the LGBTIQQA support channel
Please donate to help these people e.g. Ragna needs these items and Frances needs money for food

User avatar
4=5
Posts: 2073
Joined: Sat Apr 28, 2007 3:02 am UTC

Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby 4=5 » Thu Feb 09, 2017 11:50 pm UTC

(from twitter)
Mathematicians often like to point out the obvious, such as "Anagram is an anagram of anagram." It gives them a sense of group identity.

User avatar
doogly
Dr. The Juggernaut of Touching Himself
Posts: 5182
Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2006 2:31 am UTC
Location: Somerville, MA
Contact:

Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby doogly » Fri Feb 10, 2017 12:50 am UTC

Which reminds me:

What is the best anagram of Banach Tarski?
Banach Tarski Banach Tarski.
LE4dGOLEM: What's a Doug?
Noc: A larval Doogly. They grow the tail and stinger upon reaching adulthood.

Keep waggling your butt brows Brothers.
Or; Is that your eye butthairs?

User avatar
4=5
Posts: 2073
Joined: Sat Apr 28, 2007 3:02 am UTC

Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby 4=5 » Fri Feb 10, 2017 1:14 am UTC

doogly wrote:Which reminds me:

What is the best anagram of Banach Tarski?
Banach Tarski Banach Tarski.


The more that joke gets deconstructed, the the funnier it gets.
http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=5683&start=66
http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=5683#p439797
http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=45543#p1794723

User avatar
Yakk
Poster with most posts but no title.
Posts: 11045
Joined: Sat Jan 27, 2007 7:27 pm UTC
Location: E pur si muove

Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Yakk » Fri Feb 10, 2017 2:24 pm UTC

The Banach Tarski joke was only told once, but someone rearranged it.
One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision - BR

Last edited by JHVH on Fri Oct 23, 4004 BCE 6:17 pm, edited 6 times in total.


Return to “Mathematics”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests