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Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 9:18 pm UTC
by Timefly
Chat up line:

Baby, if I were to rearrange the alphabet there'd only be 2x25! permutations because I'd always keep 'u' and 'i' together.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 10:48 pm UTC
by larryllama
Here's one for the advanced calculus crowd.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?

A. Mean Value Theorem

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 3:10 am UTC
by ++$_
A long time ago, far away from any other civilization, there was a little house between two hills, and in the house there lived a farmer, his wife, and his young daughter. Now, because the hills were so far away from civilization, they had no official names, so the family just called them Hill One and Hill Two. One morning, a mysterious man came to this house and said he was hunting minks for their fur, which he would later make into coats and sell at the market in the city many miles away. He wanted to know if there were any minks nearby.

"Be careful," warned the farmer's wife. "This place is protected by powerful nature spirits. If you shoot any animals around here you could face a fate worse than death!"
"I don't believe in nature spirits," said the hunter. "I'm not afraid."
"OK, whatever," said the farmer's wife. "There are some minks around here -- just take a look on the hills. But make sure you don't fall under the spells of the nature spirits, because if you do, there's nothing we can do to rescue you. They'll turn you into a wild animal, or even a plant."
"I still don't believe in nature spirits," said the hunter.
"After you set your traps, why don't you come back here for lunch?" said the farmer.
"Sure," said the hunter, and off he went to set his traps.

However, by lunch he didn't return, and the family began to worry that he had been captured by the nature spirits. The daughter wanted to go search for him. Her parents warned her that they couldn't do anything for him, but she explained that she was just curious what he had been turned into. So they decided to split up and go search for the hunter. The father went to search Hill One, the mother went to search the area between the hills, and the daughter went to search Hill Two. When the daughter got to the top of Hill Two she noticed a beautiful tree with some strange-looking fruit. She climbed up the tree to pick the fruit and discovered something very weird. The fruit of the tree was made out of what looked like beaten eggs, and inside there were lots of little pieces of cheese and onions.

So the daughter, drawing the obvious conclusion, ran down the hill, screaming, "Mommy! Mommy! The furrier transformed is a nice omlette tree on Hill Two!"
larryllama wrote:Here's one for the advanced calculus crowd.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?

A. Mean Value Theorem
Intermediate value theorem, surely.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 10:36 am UTC
by patzer
this one's probably been said before, but I'll post it anyway.
Mathematician 1: What's the integral of 1/cabin with respect to cabin?
Mathematician 2: A log cabin.
Mathematician 1: No, a houseboat; you forgot to add the C.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 2:03 am UTC
by ekolis
Q: What did (x + 1)(x + 2) say when it got multiplied out into x² + 3x + 2?

A: Rats! FOILed again!

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 3:34 am UTC
by Dopefish
++$_ wrote:So the daughter, drawing the obvious conclusion, ran down the hill, screaming, "Mommy! Mommy! The furrier transformed is a nice omlette tree on Hill Two!"


I can't work out what that is supposed to be. Something about fourier transforms, but I don't know what "nice omlette tree on Hill Two" is supposed to be. :?

I'm sure I'll facepalm and kick myself for not recognising it sooner when I hear it.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 3:37 am UTC
by phlip
It took me a few goes too, but I think it's supposed to be "The Fourier Transform is an isometry on L2"...

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 3:48 am UTC
by Dopefish
Ah, thanks. It's stuff I'm not familiar with, so I don't feel so bad about not getting it.

(I've found the relevant wiki pages to educate myself though, so yay learning.)

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 2:17 am UTC
by Qaanol
So, I know dressing up in costumes for Jewish holidays is not part of the historical tradition, but nonetheless I’m being Cauchy for Passover.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 2:53 am UTC
by Yakk
You don't actually have to dress up as Cauchy. Just get close.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 4:42 am UTC
by Something Awesome
At a conference, two mathematicians are debating a recent result in topology. They disagree on its implications, and it soon escalates to personal attacks.
"Your momma's so fat, she can't be embedded in R^3!"
"Well, your momma's so fat, she's a counterexample to the Whitney Embedding Theorem!"

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 5:14 pm UTC
by nxcho
Didn't see this one when i browsed through this thread:
Image

Edit: Hint: It's from the block buster movie yet to be done, Fourier Transformers.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 6:25 pm UTC
by Monika
Hm, explain?

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:26 pm UTC
by bling
hahaha nice jokes!!

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 1:23 pm UTC
by MrDrake
What did the constipated Mathematician do?

Spoiler:
He worked it out with a pencil...

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 10:00 pm UTC
by ++$_
Monika wrote:Hm, explain?
It's the Fourier transformer.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 10:13 pm UTC
by skullturf
MrDrake wrote:What did the constipated Mathematician do?

Spoiler:
He worked it out with a pencil...


What did the constipated giant mathematician do?

Spoiler:
He worked it out using logs.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 5:43 pm UTC
by MisterH
Why was 6 scared of 7?

Spoiler:
- because 7 8 9

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 10:57 pm UTC
by TheChewanater
MisterH wrote:Why was 6 scared of 7?

Spoiler:
- because 7 8 9

You should really put that in[spoiler]tags in case some of us haven't heard that joke before.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 11:04 pm UTC
by Chuff
TheChewanater wrote:
MisterH wrote:Why was 6 scared of 7?

Spoiler:
- because 7 8 9

You should really put that in[spoiler]tags in case some of us haven't heard that joke before.

Thanks Chewy. Fortunately by chance I scrolled straight to the bottom post so I was able to read the joke for the first time without having the punch line ruined.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 6:55 pm UTC
by TheGrammarBolshevik
Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "Would you all like a beer?"

The first logician says "I don't know."

The second logician says "I don't know."

The third logician says "Yes."

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 11:36 pm UTC
by Eebster the Great
It took me a second to get that one.

Two gods walk into a bar. They talked briefly, and then the bartender asks one, "and what did your friend say he decided on?"

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 10:45 pm UTC
by Giallo
A few moths ago I was with my physics professor. He looked at me in the eyes and told me I had a lot of potential.
Then he shoved me down from the roof.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 8:28 am UTC
by pizzazz
I like the logicians one, though it took me some time.

Eebster the Great wrote:It took me a second to get that one.

Two gods walk into a bar. They talked briefly, and then the bartender asks one, "and what did your friend say he decided on?"


I don't get it.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 2:36 am UTC
by Eebster the Great
pizzazz wrote:I don't get it.

There is a very famous logic puzzle in which a traveler approaches two gods at a fork in the road, each in front of one path. One god always lies and the other always tells the truth. The puzzle is: how can the man determine which road leads to his destination by asking one god a single question?

The usual solution is to ask one god which path the other god would recommend.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 3:34 am UTC
by pizzazz
Eebster the Great wrote:
pizzazz wrote:I don't get it.

There is a very famous logic puzzle in which a traveler approaches two gods at a fork in the road, each in front of one path. One god always lies and the other always tells the truth. The puzzle is: how can the man determine which road leads to his destination by asking one god a single question?

The usual solution is to ask one god which path the other god would recommend.


Ok. I know the puzzle, but haven't heard it with gods, just regular people.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 4:36 am UTC
by letterX
pizzazz wrote:
Eebster the Great wrote:
pizzazz wrote:I don't get it.

There is a very famous logic puzzle in which a traveler approaches two gods at a fork in the road, each in front of one path. One god always lies and the other always tells the truth. The puzzle is: how can the man determine which road leads to his destination by asking one god a single question?

The usual solution is to ask one god which path the other god would recommend.


Ok. I know the puzzle, but haven't heard it with gods, just regular people.


I have frequently heard it with two guards (as in 246), which in some accents sounds like gods, I guess?

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 4:43 am UTC
by TheGrammarBolshevik
The term "gods" probably originated with a related problem.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 7:53 pm UTC
by Eebster the Great
TheGrammarBolshevik wrote:The term "gods" probably originated with a related problem.

I'm quite sure it is the other way around (the gods of that problem come from the gods of the earlier, easier problem).

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 8:01 pm UTC
by mike-l
I've usually heard the God terminology whenever you move from Lie/Truth to anything more complicated, whether it be Lie/True/Random or foreign languages or whatever.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 3:57 pm UTC
by MisterH
Why was 5 relieved?

Spoiler:
because it was 6 7 8

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 8:51 pm UTC
by Qaanol
MisterH wrote:Why was 5 relieved?

Spoiler:
because it was 6 7 8

Change it to say “Why was 9 relieved?” and I think you’ll have yourself a joke.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 9:33 pm UTC
by Monika
I think they outlawed puns involving numbers last year.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 12:30 am UTC
by chridd
Monika wrote:I think they outlawed puns involving numbers last year.

Nein!

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Sun May 13, 2012 7:16 am UTC
by TheChewanater
Monika wrote:I think they outlawed puns involving numbers last year.

That's two bad, I have some funny ones.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Sun May 13, 2012 10:50 am UTC
by Talith
TheChewanater wrote:
Monika wrote:I think they outlawed puns involving numbers last year.

That's two bad, I have some funny ones.

In my opinion, you still one.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Sun May 13, 2012 11:45 pm UTC
by OverBored
TheChewanater wrote:
Monika wrote:I think they outlawed puns involving numbers last year.

That's two bad, I have some funny ones.


Feel three to try them out, just don't four-get that not everyone appreci-eights that type of humour.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Mon May 14, 2012 3:06 am UTC
by TheChewanater
OverBored wrote:Feel three to try them out, just don't four-get that not everyone appreci-eights that type of humour.


Now that I think about it, we really half to stop doing this.

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Mon May 14, 2012 8:37 am UTC
by Diadem
Why did 32 go hungry?
Spoiler:
Because 16 8 4 2

Re: Favorite math jokes

Posted: Mon May 14, 2012 10:18 pm UTC
by Grop
Monika wrote:I think they outlawed puns involving numbers last year.


Could it be because such jokes are unrelated to maths?