Physics Version 2.1.2

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icdfeddie
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Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby icdfeddie » Fri May 30, 2008 12:25 pm UTC

Hey,

A while ago I had an idea for my comic, posted it up on this forum for suggestions and in the end had a huge whack of great suggestions. I put it up on my comic and was completely blown away by how popular it was; we got a bajillion hits, it spread to blogs all over the place and even got translated into Spanish.

Since it went down so well, I thought I may as well do it all again, only for physics this time. I'll recap the premise for anyone who doesn't know: the idea is that there's been a update released for the laws of physics and all the things that didn't make sense have been fixed.

Here's my ideas so far. My Physics is even worse than my Maths.

<comic>
Physics Version 2.1.2

What's new in this update?

* Typo fixed; Schrodinger's cat is now alive or dead.
* Speed of light has been rounded down to exactly 1,000,000,000 km/h
* Seven redundant dimensions have been removed.

</comic>

If you were part of the development team responsible for fixing the "bugs" in physics, what would you change?

- ed

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evilbeanfiend
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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby evilbeanfiend » Fri May 30, 2008 12:38 pm UTC

fixed bug where FindPrecisePosition() caused FindPreciseMomentum() to throw.

fixed bug in some materials where increased temperature would increase number of free electrons.
fixed bug in some materials where resistivity would be truncated to 0 at low temperatures.
resistivity is now linear with temperature for all materials.

all gases are now ideal.

changed hubble constant to prevent universe blowing up.

moved all planets orbits back into plane, fixed axis and direction of rotation of all, planets should now actually align during planetary alignments.
fixed problem with the moon sometimes blocking the sun during day time.

hidden variables no longer hidden.

special hot-fixes for hollywood:
fixed sound to work in vacuum
fixed stars to be visible in space even if bright objects (sun,moon or planet) are also visible.
fixed laser light to be much slower and scatter in all direction in vacuum.
increased momentum imparted to victims by bullets. people should now appropriately fly through the air on being shot.
fixed speed of sound to equal speed of light. remove annoying delays between explosion GFX and SFX.
Last edited by evilbeanfiend on Fri May 30, 2008 1:05 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Hawknc
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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby Hawknc » Fri May 30, 2008 1:00 pm UTC

Fixed buffer leak in superballs causing bounce height decay after initialisation. Superballs now bounce until stop command is executed.

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evilbeanfiend
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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby evilbeanfiend » Fri May 30, 2008 1:14 pm UTC

changed spatial/temporal positioning system, from relative to absolute, to prevent people from spinning the entire universe to make buckets of water rotate.
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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby Mathmagic » Fri May 30, 2008 1:21 pm UTC

Fixed bug that gave a command line error when absolute zero was trying to be reached. Absolute zero now reachable.
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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby Lycur » Fri May 30, 2008 1:26 pm UTC

Fixed a bug where some barnyard animals were not properly appearing as perfectly spherical blackbodies of constant mass.

icdfeddie
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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby icdfeddie » Fri May 30, 2008 1:30 pm UTC

:)

see, this is why I love these forums.

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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby Mathmagic » Fri May 30, 2008 1:30 pm UTC

Issue where Newtonian mechanics returned a parse error with excessive values of velocity has been relieved.
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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby Ended » Fri May 30, 2008 1:34 pm UTC

Following popular demand, Heisenberg uncertainty principle replaced by Heisenberg certainty principle: ∆x∆p ≤ ħ/2. Sales of GPS systems expected to plummet.
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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby Macbi » Fri May 30, 2008 2:10 pm UTC

icdfeddie wrote:* Typo fixed; Schrodinger's cat is now alive or dead.

Make it "xor dead" for clarity and geekiness.
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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby Sir_Elderberry » Fri May 30, 2008 4:01 pm UTC

-Fixed an issue in which entropy escalated unless energy was used to keep it in check; systems should now work correctly without constant energy input.
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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby Electro » Fri May 30, 2008 4:08 pm UTC

Bugfix: LHC black hole generation probability increased to 80%.
- Fixed issue nicknamed "The second law of thermodynamics". Systems can now produce more energy than was inputted.

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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby bippy » Fri May 30, 2008 7:56 pm UTC

Fixed display error preventing massive objects from rendering. So called "dark matter" should now be visible.

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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby Electro » Fri May 30, 2008 8:22 pm UTC

Fixed universal expansion rate, universe is now infinite.

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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby Robin S » Fri May 30, 2008 8:23 pm UTC

I'm not trying to be mean, but I don't think it will be as funny or popular if you do another comic in such a close vein to the original one.
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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby om617 » Fri May 30, 2008 11:04 pm UTC

Added magnetic monopoles. These were supported, but not present, in the previous version.
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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby icdfeddie » Sat May 31, 2008 12:45 am UTC

Robin S wrote:I'm not trying to be mean, but I don't think it will be as funny or popular if you do another comic in such a close vein to the original one.


Thanks, I do know what you mean. It's sorta like just rehashing the same joke in a way. Nevertheless some great stuff is coming out here though, so I still think it's worth a burl.

Meteorswarm wrote:Fixed bug where xkcd poster "Robin S" was unfunny.


Also, zing.

:)

My favourites so far:

* Electrons are now positive to properly align conventional current and real current
* Fixed display error preventing massive objects from rendering. So called "dark matter" should now be visible.
* Fixed an issue in which entropy escalated unless energy was used to keep it in check; systems should now work correctly without constant energy input.
* Following popular demand, Heisenberg uncertainty principle replaced by Heisenberg certainty principle: ∆x∆p ≤ ħ/2. Sales of GPS systems expected to plummet.
* Fixed bug that gave a command line error when absolute zero was trying to be reached. Absolute zero now reachable.
fixed bug in some materials where increased temperature would increase number of free electrons.
* all gases are now ideal.

But I'm afraid I have to give a big ol' wtf for:

Fixed a bug where some barnyard animals were not properly appearing as perfectly spherical blackbodies of constant mass.


???

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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby masher » Sat May 31, 2008 12:48 am UTC

icdfeddie wrote:But I'm afraid I have to give a big ol' wtf for:

Fixed a bug where some barnyard animals were not properly appearing as perfectly spherical blackbodies of constant mass.

???


Punch line to many physics jokes.

Assuming a spherical [cow|chicken|horse...]

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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby Fossa » Sat May 31, 2008 1:54 am UTC

Fixed memory leak responsible for constant increase in entropy.

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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby jmorgan3 » Sat May 31, 2008 2:26 am UTC

Fixed bug that allowed a region of changing electric and magnetic fields to propagate indefinitely.

All airflow is now laminar.

Doubled number of Bravais lattices to 28.

Thermodynamics is no longer complicated.
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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby roundedge » Sat May 31, 2008 3:18 am UTC

got rid of nuclear mass rounding errors, nuclei mass now properly equal to the sum of their parts. Don't expect we'll be seeing any more of those useless neutrinos.

improved the redundant quark system, Top, Charm, Bottom, and Strange, have been scrapped, instead giving parent classes, Up and Down, mass variable in the constructor method.

what idiot put that lorentz factor in our kinematics code, it's been doing havoc on our framerate and screen resolution. I took it out this morning.

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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby seladore » Sat May 31, 2008 6:17 am UTC

Fixed bug where travelling at high speed caused variable errors. As a side effect, speed of light now behaves properly.

Removed singularity causing bus errors at t=0.

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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby Mr. Beck » Sat May 31, 2008 7:25 am UTC

fixed error where light can travel faster than light.

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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby wst » Sat May 31, 2008 9:29 am UTC

Updates for Hollywood:
Explosions now render in slow motion.
Laser beam lengths can be set to a specific length and make noises when you wave them around.
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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby Hawknc » Sat May 31, 2008 12:04 pm UTC

Nothing in canon supports lightsabers being lasers, with the exception of one idiot nine year old. The blades were plasma contained in a magnetic field, from memory.



...Upon re-reading that, I am very glad I am married, because there is no chance in hell I would ever get laid otherwise. >.<

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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby TheStranger » Sat May 31, 2008 2:14 pm UTC

Cleaned up Quantum Mechanics code and added needed comments to clarify functionality.

Corrected frame issue that occurred around very massive very fast rotating objects.

fixed issue that caused large atoms to decay faster then small atoms, all atoms now decay at the same rate.

changed stellar_fusion() to increase cap, fusion will now continue past iron for all stellar models.
Last edited by TheStranger on Sun Jun 01, 2008 10:04 pm UTC, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby Charlie! » Sat May 31, 2008 3:32 pm UTC

Fixed permanent magnetism exploit.
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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby Archon » Sat May 31, 2008 8:34 pm UTC

Fixed bug that caused certain fluids to behave in a non-Newtonian manner.

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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby Electro » Sun Jun 01, 2008 8:03 am UTC

Fixed error in gravity, objects with more mass fall faster than objects with less mass.

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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby corcorigan » Sun Jun 01, 2008 10:18 am UTC

Circle_Circumference = 3

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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby wst » Sun Jun 01, 2008 2:35 pm UTC

Bugfix: Bullets no longer stop in front of the One.
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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby asad137 » Sun Jun 01, 2008 4:45 pm UTC

TheStranger wrote:changed fusion() to increase cap, fusion will now continue past iron.


Fusion already continues past iron -- you just need to put more energy in than you get out (see: heavy element production in supernovae).

Asad

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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby Mr. Beck » Sun Jun 01, 2008 7:36 pm UTC

fixed "Invisible mass" bug.

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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby Herman » Sun Jun 01, 2008 9:01 pm UTC

fixed bug where FindPrecisePosition() caused FindPreciseMomentum() to throw.

fixed bug in some materials where increased temperature would increase number of free electrons.
fixed bug in some materials where resistivity would be truncated to 0 at low temperatures.
resistivity is now linear with temperature for all materials.

all gases are now ideal.


-Fixed an issue in which entropy escalated unless energy was used to keep it in check; systems should now work correctly without constant energy input.


Added "snap to grid" feature for small particles. This, with the change to nuclei below, removes the need for the kludged-together quantum mechanics system.

Atomic nuclei removed, and replaced with the pre-1904 plum pudding model, to prevent dangerous scattering of particles shot at other particles.


Going through the submitted error reports, I was surprised to find that Life() and High_Technology() throw an error when even one of the above bugs is removed. Therefore, I have commented them out. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.

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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby Mr. Beck » Mon Jun 02, 2008 1:49 am UTC

fixed bug whereby electrons can only occupy certain orbitals.

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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby Antimony-120 » Mon Jun 02, 2008 2:37 am UTC

fixed bug where monoliths would cause extreme age fluctuations ending when subject reached fetal age.
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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby Mr. Beck » Mon Jun 02, 2008 6:49 am UTC

Antimony-120 wrote:fixed bug where monoliths would cause extreme age fluctuations ending when subject reached fetal age.

Shurly that can't count!

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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby Cryopyre » Mon Jun 02, 2008 7:03 am UTC

All electrons and photons now have a pre-set spin
The speed of light is no longer a barrier for travel, also fixed related problem, time should now stay absolute
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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby UmbralRaptor » Mon Jun 02, 2008 8:14 am UTC

Due to popular demand, Luminiferous Aether has been re-enabled.
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Re: Physics Version 2.1.2

Postby imatrendytotebag » Tue Jun 03, 2008 5:20 am UTC

Removed bugs in which light acts like a particle instead of a wave.

Added General Relativity 2.0- now fully compatible with Quantum Mechanics.

All pullies are now frictionless and massless.

The acceleration of gravity now equals exactly 10 m/s^2. Everywhere.

Note; to differentiate this from the previous comic, you might want to make the layout a little different. Maybe show it on a mac computer, or have the actual program running in the background (this gives you more opportunities for humor- ie you could have a little 'remove entropy' button etc.) or something else to give it a little pizazz.
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