xkcd

by **Kithplana** » Thu Aug 16, 2012 2:09 am UTC

Ashlah wrote:That awkward moment when your mom asks you to buy her 50 Shades of Grey for her birthday.

Give her paint color samples from Home Depot.

by **Giant Speck** » Thu Aug 16, 2012 2:12 am UTC

by **PerchloricAcid** » Thu Aug 16, 2012 2:22 am UTC

Just buy her the book; were she not a sexual being, most likely, you wouldn't be ~~posting that post~~.

by **Ashlah** » Thu Aug 16, 2012 2:29 am UTC

Oh, I have no issue with her being a sexual being. I'm a sex-positive lady, and I want her to have a fulfilling sex life. I just don't want to be involved in it.

(I've also read a lot of interesting feminist critique about the book that would also persuade me not to get it for her for other reasons, but having not read it myself, I can't say whether these critiques are valid)

Kithplana wrote:Give her paint color samples from Home Depot.

Brilliant.

by **PerchloricAcid** » Thu Aug 16, 2012 2:40 am UTC

Dunno, I wouldn't consider buying her 50Shades as involvement in her sex life. However, I do get your point, I'm just saying that there might be less hassle if you got it over with than if you refused to and had to explain.
Of course, she can buy it herself though! [my apologies if she cannot, due to disability or something like that.]

by **Ashlah** » Thu Aug 16, 2012 2:58 am UTC

Oh, it was just one of the things on the list, she's not necessarily expecting it. I just thought it was funny/weird/interesting/mildly inappropriate that she would ask for it from me. I definitely get that not everyone would be uncomfortable getting something like that for their parents, and that's cool. It's just not for me.

And she could buy it herself if she wants it

by **Jave D** » Thu Aug 16, 2012 5:27 am UTC

Jave D wrote:A while ago roomie lost his wallet, and assumed it was stolen. Then my netbook was stolen for about a week. He found his wallet shortly later, and after my computer mysteriously returned. No explanation.

My keyboard has glue in some of the upper keys; they work, but one key in particular makes a crunchy, sticky sound whenever pressed or depressed now. No explanation.

But the other night he turned to me out of the blue and asked where his phone was, the accusation rather implicit, before whoops he found it on the floor by his bed a moment later.

Today I found that 5 pages from my new copy of House of Leaves went missing. Not like, not printed or something; the bits of the pages are still there, like ripped out.

Right now roomie is drilling and hammering, putting a lock onto his night stand.

It seems to be an issue where he loses things, and then assumes I stole them, and retaliates all passive-aggressively. This is not what I fucking need to be dealing with in my sobriety.

This is still an issue. It's getting rather uncomfortable here. Apparently he's told some people (not me!) that he did indeed deliberately put superglue into my piano keyboard, and that he took my laptop for that week. I don't know what to do. What's next, he's going to poison my toothpaste with drugs (so that I get kicked out of the house) or plant items on me? I can totally see that happening. Hell not too long ago he accused me of using his bloody handtowel. I asked him why I would do that (I have my own), and he said maybe because it was just 'hanging there. Convenient.' I mean for fuck's sake. I haven't done a damn thing to him or his stuff in the 10 months I've lived here. In the 12 step program we learn when we have resentments to identify 'our part' in it, like if I was selfish, egotistical or whatever. But I don't have a bloody part. I'm just living here. My part is existing. Fuck!

by **Роберт** » Thu Aug 16, 2012 6:12 pm UTC

Rogue roommate situation sounds terrible. Is there not some sort of way to trade him out for a better model?

I assume any compensation for the senseless damage is unlikely, but you probably want to get out before he breaks more things.

by **bluebambue** » Thu Aug 16, 2012 7:57 pm UTC

Is this a roommate assigned by a college/university? I know that my college had a system to deal with such roommate issues.

by **Adacore** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 1:12 am UTC

Yeah, in that situation it sounds like you should either take it up with higher authority (if one exists), replace the roommate, or find somewhere else to stay. If you're fearing for your safety in your own room, that's probably the time to do something about it.

If it's not a situation you can change, then you have my sympathies - I hope nothing bad happens.

by **Kithplana** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 1:55 am UTC

I'm trying not to hate ~~Metro~~ Windows 8-style because it's different. My technophobe users will do plenty of that for me if I am ever forced into deploying this Frankenstinian monstrosity. No, I'll just hate it because it's (what once was) a perfectly usable UI hacked in half with a freaking tablet interface spot-welded on. There's going to be a learning curve in any new version of Windows, yes, but I honestly don't see how this is going to work without a whole lot of pointless relearning, for both IT folk and everyone else.

by **Whelan** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 3:29 am UTC

One ddrunken stumble has cost me multiple abraisions and one very nice pair of new jeans.

by **Jave D** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 4:49 am UTC

Adacore wrote:Yeah, in that situation it sounds like you should either take it up with higher authority (if one exists), replace the roommate, or find somewhere else to stay. If you're fearing for your safety in your own room, that's probably the time to do something about it.

If it's not a situation you can change, then you have my sympathies - I hope nothing bad happens.

I live in a sober house, so there are managers and whatnot. The thing is, all that would happen is I would have to move to a different room. And besides the general hassle that entails (I'm lazy), there's the very good possibility that whoever I would room with next could be worse. Like some teenage junkie type who's all into the glamor of gangsta rap and shit and isn't ready to get sober really. At least my roommate hasn't relapsed or anything, and has been here as long as I have. And apart from this issue of trust he's a good roommate.

I can't move out from here as I have no job and am living off my parents support, which will end in the not too distant future, and that's a huge issue for me as well. If I could I would.

by **Роберт** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 4:38 pm UTC

Jave D wrote:
Adacore wrote:Yeah, in that situation it sounds like you should either take it up with higher authority (if one exists), replace the roommate, or find somewhere else to stay. If you're fearing for your safety in your own room, that's probably the time to do something about it.

If it's not a situation you can change, then you have my sympathies - I hope nothing bad happens.

I live in a sober house, so there are managers and whatnot. The thing is, all that would happen is I would have to move to a different room. And besides the general hassle that entails (I'm lazy), there's the very good possibility that whoever I would room with next could be worse. Like some teenage junkie type who's all into the glamor of gangsta rap and shit and isn't ready to get sober really. At least my roommate hasn't relapsed or anything, and has been here as long as I have. And apart from this issue of trust he's a good roommate.

I can't move out from here as I have no job and am living off my parents support, which will end in the not too distant future, and that's a huge issue for me as well. If I could I would.

Have you tried the "I'm not stealing your things. Your childish revenge tactics would be stupid and pointless even if I was stealing your things, but as it is, I'm not, so it just makes you a dick" talk yet?

Disclaimer: this actually might make the situation worse.

by **ahammel** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 6:38 pm UTC

1) I should either stop storing food in similar-looking tupperware containers or stop packing lunch whilst sleepy.
2) Delicious homemade coleslaw is a significantly better lunch than half a lime.

by **RollingHead** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 7:46 pm UTC

Two weeks ago, Asshole Landlord barges into the room my boyfriend rents without knocking, sees we're in our underwear, closes the door, opens it again immediately to look inside again. He then justifies himself by saying he thought we weren't there and proceeds to complain about the wall under our window being wet. Keep in mind that this house stays up by some sort of miracle: the banister on the stairs is broken as well as a window on the stairwell, all the pipes and wiring are faulty, plaster is crumbling in the chimney above the stove, and mice have been sighted inside the apartment, so the last thing to complain about would be a bit of water on the windowsill. While we're away at the beach, he informs my boyfriend that he has to leave two weeks early, forcing us to cancel and rush other plans. Oh well, enjoy the health inspector we're calling as soon as we leave.

by **3fj** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 8:17 pm UTC

I had that when I was in uni, but with a whole heap of different (arguably far more rational but still horrible) circumstances. I was nearly kicked out of my flat because of an evacuation caused by a faulty smoke alarm. When there where building checks done, me and my then-current girlfriend were still asleep. The security guy walks in, yells at me, yanks off the covers, getting a nice look of everyone involved's junk, and leaves.

This was a student accommodation, and there were rules on informing people about guests (she lived one block over, but the flats were mixed sex, so that wasn't the issue) meant that I was pulled up in front of a small board of directors sort of thing. The only thing that stopped me getting kicked out (being as the guest rule was broken a lot by our flat, meaning lots of black marks) was the fact I threatened to press sexual harassment charges.

tl;dr Sympathies. Also fuck landlords.

by **firechicago** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 10:56 pm UTC

RollingHead wrote:Two weeks ago, Asshole Landlord barges into the room my boyfriend rents without knocking, sees we're in our underwear, closes the door, opens it again immediately to look inside again. He then justifies himself by saying he thought we weren't there and proceeds to complain about the wall under our window being wet. Keep in mind that this house stays up by some sort of miracle: the banister on the stairs is broken as well as a window on the stairwell, all the pipes and wiring are faulty, plaster is crumbling in the chimney above the stove, and mice have been sighted inside the apartment, so the last thing to complain about would be a bit of water on the windowsill. While we're away at the beach, he informs my boyfriend that he has to leave two weeks early, forcing us to cancel and rush other plans. Oh well, enjoy the health inspector we're calling as soon as we leave.

Not sure where you are, but lots of places what your landlord just did is illegal. In the US, at least, most places require the landlord to give 24 hours notice before entering the part you rent, unless there's an honest-to-god emergency. Now, that may not be helpful now, but documenting these violations can be quite helpful later if the landlord gives you crap about the security deposit in moving out.

As a tenant, small claims court can be your friend.

by **Jave D** » Sun Aug 19, 2012 2:45 am UTC

Roomie walked out of the bathroom a few minutes ago, stark naked.

Some things cannot be unseen.

My brain is never going to be the same again.

by **Zarq** » Sun Aug 19, 2012 2:50 am UTC

Jave D wrote:Roomie walked out of the bathroom a few minutes ago, stark naked.

Some things cannot be unseen.

My brain is never going to be the same again.

The image will haunt you when you try to go to sleep. You'll close your eyes, and it'll be there, right in the middle of your mind's eye. At some point, it'll be gone, and you'll think "phiew, it's gone" and that will only cause it to return.

by **thorgold** » Sun Aug 19, 2012 4:03 am UTC

Parents, I respect your beliefs, and I share them. I realize the necessity of a web filtering program to block most of the smut that can pop up, unwarranted.

However, you are not as tech savvy as you think, and Cyberpatrol is a horrible, horrible program. Yes, it's functional, but only barely so. Furthermore, it's only marginally backwards compatible with single-core processor computers, which you have refused to upgrade in the past 8 years (again, functional, but only barely so). As a result, we have a criminally inefficient program running on antiquated machines.

FFS, a web filtering program that uses 200K of processing power while the computer isn't event connected to a network is a shitty piece of software. I don't care if it's cheaper than alternatives or "hackerproof" (it's not, necessity forced my hand), a background program that eats up more resources than anything else on the computer isn't acceptable. Even though our computers are part of the problem, the fact is that CP is just a horribly written resource hog.

Worse still is the fact that it lags itself into unusability. Web page loading too slow? Must be an attempt to subvert the program - BLOCKED. Web page have the word "rape" on it? BLOCKED (CNN? Really?). I'm sick of having to get a manual override every time the program gives itself a seizure.

Though maybe that's the point of the program - block internet smut by hogging processing resources to the point that the computer is unusable.

by **Zarq** » Sun Aug 19, 2012 4:11 am UTC

Unsolicited advice:

Spoiler:

by **dock** » Sun Aug 19, 2012 7:32 am UTC

More unsolicited advice:

Spoiler:

by **Whizzkid1024** » Sun Aug 19, 2012 7:46 am UTC

Shit, three exams in the next two days, and today is gonna be the hottest day in the history of Belgium

up to 38,8 Celcius.

by **Ptolom** » Sun Aug 19, 2012 7:48 pm UTC

Even more unsolicited advice

Spoiler:

by **RollingHead** » Mon Aug 20, 2012 10:15 pm UTC

firechicago wrote:Not sure where you are, but lots of places what your landlord just did is illegal.

Italy, and I'm fairly sure that even renting a place in these conditions is illegal. Add crazy roommate from a few pages back and this house is a nightmare, fortunately we'll be moving out soon.

by **UniqueScreenname** » Mon Aug 20, 2012 10:53 pm UTC

Sto imparato italiano. Qual parte d'Italia stai? (No idea if that was right.)

by **RollingHead** » Tue Aug 21, 2012 12:09 am UTC

*in quale parte d'italia stai
Bologna. To be on topic, Bologna sucks.

by **bigglesworth** » Tue Aug 21, 2012 12:49 am UTC

I was there for one night; seemed alright.

Venice is not far away by train though, so could be done as a day-trip.

by **RollingHead** » Tue Aug 21, 2012 2:08 pm UTC

Usually it takes about a week here to figure out that the "culture" is only a prop for turists and the only thing to do around here is drink beer sitting on the ground, plus it's one of the dirtiest cities I've seen in Italy. Venice is awesome though, it only takes a couple of hours to get there.

by **Zarq** » Tue Aug 21, 2012 2:11 pm UTC

Man, I still hate my parents for skipping Venice. That was the one city I wanted to see in Italy. Who cares about the curved tower of Pisa? Yes, I will maintain that I think it actually looks more curved than leaning.

by **bigglesworth** » Tue Aug 21, 2012 2:59 pm UTC

They really do do nice pizza in Pisa though.

by **felltir** » Tue Aug 21, 2012 3:14 pm UTC

And I will maintain your FACE.

by **emceng** » Tue Aug 21, 2012 3:35 pm UTC

Well, we got a new web filter. No idea what it's limits are yet, except that so far it has blocked me from unsubscribing from a spammy email list, and blocked craigslist. I really only visited CL to visit one or two forums, and browse for video game deals. Not a big deal, but it does piss me off.

Ok, so tinypic isn't blocked. Great, never use it, but ok.

Amazon is blocked. I am pissed about that. It will help my wallet, but hurt my birthday and Christmas gift giving.

by **K-R** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 5:05 pm UTC

Why is there no decent TV on anymore? On one channel, Big Brother, which this year apparently includes a talking fish. On another, a reality show that consists entirely of men planning weddings and not letting their fiancees have even the slightest clue what their plans are, because lol men suck at planning weddings and lol that's women's work and she's going to be so pissed when he fucks it all up lol (seriously, the ad included female strippers showing up. At a wedding.), followed by a show in which we insist the world is black and white, and any question can be answered with either a 'yes' or a 'no', regardless of how complex people might pretend the issue is.

by **eran_rathan** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 5:12 pm UTC

koberulz wrote:Why is there no decent TV on anymore? On one channel, Big Brother, which this year apparently includes a talking fish. On another, a reality show that consists entirely of men planning weddings and not letting their fiancees have even the slightest clue what their plans are, because lol men suck at planning weddings and lol that's women's work and she's going to be so pissed when he fucks it all up lol (seriously, the ad included female strippers showing up. At a wedding.), followed by a show in which we insist the world is black and white, and any question can be answered with either a 'yes' or a 'no', regardless of how complex people might pretend the issue is.

There's always Netflix (or Hulu, or regional variations of same).

Halfway through watching Stargate SG1 again.

by **Chen** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 5:52 pm UTC

eran_rathan wrote:There's always Netflix (or Hulu, or regional variations of same).

Halfway through watching Stargate SG1 again.

The first season of SG1 is really hard to watch again (the super feminist Carter comes off as just annoying and over the top). After that they're pretty enjoyable though.

by **a_fuzzyduck** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 8:07 pm UTC

koberulz wrote:Why is there no decent TV on anymore? On one channel, Big Brother, which this year apparently includes a talking fish. On another, a reality show that consists entirely of men planning weddings and not letting their fiancees have even the slightest clue what their plans are, because lol men suck at planning weddings and lol that's women's work and she's going to be so pissed when he fucks it all up lol (seriously, the ad included female strippers showing up. At a wedding.), followed by a show in which we insist the world is black and white, and any question can be answered with either a 'yes' or a 'no', regardless of how complex people might pretend the issue is.

what happened was someone decided we all preferred having a wide choice of who would provide distractions telling us about programmes that are on in the near future, hiding anything approaching decent content away so we don't accidentally see it. :p

by **The Scyphozoa** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 9:08 pm UTC

Chen wrote:
eran_rathan wrote:There's always Netflix (or Hulu, or regional variations of same).

Halfway through watching Stargate SG1 again.

The first season of SG1 is really hard to watch again (the super feminist Carter comes off as just annoying and over the top). After that they're pretty enjoyable though.

She isn't THAT bad. Actually here's a complaint for the rant thread:

You know Carter's "sex organs" line in the pilot episode? A while ago they released a "recut" version of the pilot episode, which removes that line. I sur hope nobody watches it without watching the original, because if they do and then continue with the series, they're not going to get it when they make fun of that line in later episodes!

The recut version also cuts out Sha're's boobs, so there's yet another reason the original is superior...

by **Jave D** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 10:47 pm UTC

Sometimes I hate myself so much I shiver with disgust. Today is one of those times.

BUT I CAN TRANSFER THAT HATE.

Roomie. You do not need to clean the whole room every single bloody day. It's not required. I know maybe you're doing this because you're obsessive-compulsive, germiphobic and spent time in jail or whatever. But I think you do it because you're passive-aggressive and banging around, flicking on the fan, spreading dust everywhere and dowsing the floor with that cleaner fluid and marching around angrily in your shorts and nothing else is kind of like pissing on your territory, reminding me just what a bloody saint you are and what a lazy ass I am. And no, it doesn't make me feel grateful for you at all. You do this without asking, every day, just the same way you accused me of stealing your cell phone, and earlier your wallet, or using your stupid hand towel, without asking; just the same way you spread some superglue in my keyboard and stole my laptop for a week and tore out pages of a book I'd just bought. ONE GOOD ACT DOES NOT WIPE OUT THE BAD. So yeah, you clean up the place constantly. You're the man. You get a fucking gold star. Everyone in the house just thinks you're awesome because you do soooo much work, like overwatering the plants, overtrimming the hedges, and in general tossing yourself around working yourself into a frenzy while just being adorably eccentric and somehow obnoxiously insane but no one takes you seriously except me because I have to live with your fucking freaky ass. You could make it all better just by admitting what you did and offering some sort of apology or amends, but no. That's not passive nor aggressive, that would be the good thing to do. So instead you wake up at 4:50 AM every day, flick on the TV, flick on the lights, drag furniture around, sighing in that aggrieved melodramatic way you have, leave the room, enter again, leave, enter, leave, enter, remember to turn off one of your three fucking alarm clocks, spend the day doing some needless make-work work all around the house, and then at 4 start martyr-like mopping the place and dragging furniture around stripped nearly to your underwear because yeah, that's what this place needs. And don't forget to take your bloody medication eighteen times a day because there's nothing just so awesome as me not having any idea what kind of freaky psycho chemicals you're chomping down but I'm sure they don't test you because you've won the ultimate trust medal because you're working in the kitchen nowadays and people in the kitchen are totally trustworthy and don't need to be tested like us regular peons. I mean except for every single cook we've had. And when I say hey, thanks for cooking lunch, just ignore me, kay? Because there's no need to even pretend to be a civil human, just some mad freaky clean-bot on autopilot that I have to live with now, staying awake and with the blaring stupid TV on til 10:30 and then up at 4:50 because hey, who needs sleep when you have ten thousand medications artificially pumping you up? YES PLEASE, TURN ON THE RADIO TO A LOUD STUPID POP STATION THAT IS ALSO HALF STATIC. WE NEED TO HEAR THAT. EVERY DAY. IT GOES WELL WITH THE DUST AND CLEANING CHEMICAL SCENT YOU'RE LODGING INTO MY NOSTRILS. WHY WOULD ANYONE NOT LOVE THAT SHIT.

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